Are you real? Are you enough?

Excellent questions to ask yourself. Life coaches, dating coaches, many philosophical gurus caution people to strive to be their authentic self. 

To be real.

Not to be confused with a stoneresque, juvenile ~ "Get real, man!"

Being inauthentic, insincere, false, etc., seems to come from a very insecure psyche. Fear. Fear of being found out as who you really are. The fear in the possibility of rejection can impede authenticity.

Here ya go ~ I have flaws. You have flaws, too.

People are all at different levels of development. Development of mind of emotional maturity, of personal security, etc., etc.

Some people have deep rooted revulsion's to the flaws of others without realizing it or simply not liking something about another person without knowing why.

This is why I often encourage others to ask themselves questions.

Exploring the great indoors!

People broadcast their all over insecurity by picking at the flaws of others. I know I have written this before. It's an important point.

People who lift themselves first by loving themselves, nurturing their own spirit will respect themselves thereby fostering their own personal overall development as a person.

These people will seek to build others up. Support them in their dreams. Treat others kindly while only accepting respect & kindness from others.

Then & only then, will they be their authentic self.

The inauthentic ones? They express their insecurity by insulting others, by lying to others in place of accepting consequences, by treating others with cruelty, with disrespect.

What they really want is to be accepted, possibly loved.

I saw a quote, once, that stated:

"Everything is either love or a cry for love."

The quote is interesting in its simplicity if only human beings were that simple. There are many shades ranging from bright white to absolutely dark black. Whites, off whites, grays, light gray, dark gray, black to very dark black.

Love or a cry for love.

When people are crying out for love it can be annoying, revolting, sad, ridiculous, violent, threatening, sometimes even dangerous!

Conversely, the same can be true of love being offered.

Funny or maybe ironic.

In today's world of hidden agendas, deceit, people hiding behind technology, many people can recognize cries for love. Recognizing an offer of love or authenticity? It seems that most people regard authenticity with suspicion.

Grandpa Kendall, my beloved maternal Grandfather taught me to be honest, to be truthful, so, I have difficulty being dishonest, being untruthful.

Honesty is about emotion.

Truth is about hard facts.

My father, on the other hand, taught me to be dishonest as well as untruthful. If I were to be honest & truthful with him, it nearly always resulted in a severe beating with a leather belt. I received many beatings from him with the residual physical body scarring.

I was torn between what my Grandpa taught me and what I had to do to minimize beatings from at my fathers hands.

At one point, I knew I needed help to sort this out. Seeking that help has made all the difference in the world for me.

I loved my Grandpa Kendall dearly & deeply.

I hated my father with a venomous resentful hatred.

(He died in 2002, it doesn't get worse than dead. Maybe) 

During the intense sessions with a lovingly patient counselor, I realized that, up to that point I had lied constantly without awareness. I had been dishonest, as well.

I WAS MORTIFIED AT THIS KNOWLEDGE.

It meant that I had betrayed my beloved Grandfather! I had also betrayed myself. I had deprived myself of an authentic life without not only knowing but also without the intent to do so.

Lying is lying.

Deception is deception.

So happy I spent that entire, intense year, repairing the damage so that I could be the good mother that my 4 sweet children deserved.

So happy that I did the work early in life.

With this long diatribe out there, it causes me to realize that people who are authentic are so very brave. They may have had a more healthy foundation built upon a healthy psyche from birth.

Even with this foundation, there is still a choice to remain real or not.

People, such as myself who had a very strong healthy psyche, a natural congenital mental strength, yet endured a far less than idyllic start in life, had to work & struggle to be authentic.

What about people who had less mental toughness, then, had to endure abuse during childhood.

What about people who were born with incorrect mental/emotional processes then had an idyllic childhood or were abused?

Therein are the gray areas.

Just so ya know, I am not a doctor, I don't have a degree in psychology. I watch people a lot. I wonder about why they do what they do. Sometimes it's like ~ 

"WTH were you thinking!"

DARWIN AWARD!

When striving to become better than we are, I know not everyone does, yet, those who do, no matter how we get there. What matters is that we get there!

My phrase ~ Git down witcha  badd thelf!

My musings, today.

Peace out!