Hero

Let me be your hero.......

The song by Enrique Iglesias warms my heart every time I hear it. He's saying the words I have never heard first hand nor any derivative of them.

The words that would turn my heart of stone coldness into a warm sweet one.

Just as it was before it was abused then broken for the last time.

A virgin heart. Ha ha!

He says in a whisper, "Let me be your hero"

I melt at that point although I am usually holding plank position or on the StairMaster or on the eliptical, yup, I melt when hearing that.

Regulars at the gym where I workout marvel at how happy I look when I'm working out. They don't know of the playlist on my Mp3 player titled No BOHICA! or Maybe they have an idea of it!

Different shizz does it for different peeps!

Another reason is that I was in Las Vegas last year for Christmas with someone at The Chippendales show the first time I REALLY heard it.

Part of the show was a strip tease number where the guys paraded out in US Navy Summer White military uniforms ending up in nothing on except red white & blue boxers & smiles!

Had never seen the movie An Officer & A Gentleman, partly because I'm not much of a Richard Gere fan. However, after the show, my buddy mentioned that the movie did almost as much to spur people to enter the military as Top Gun! 

Arriving back home in Texas, I pulled up An Officer & A Gentleman on You Tube to watch for freebies then added the Enrique Iglesias tune, Hero to my No BOHICA playlist on my Mp3 player.

So, yeah, good times, fond memories of Las Vegas.

The song says everything I would want to hear, however, only if it were sincere. Guys try some sneaky words & maneuvers to try to get into my little pink lace panties. yet, it doesn't work.

If I have learned anything I have learned to ignore a guys words, to watch his actions. Have learned the 90 day rule. Watch his actions for 90 days to see who he really is.

Refrain from making out with him or sleeping with him.

A truly caring guy who is sincere, will stick around. Players will vanish before 90 days are up. 

Enrique croons ~ 

Would you dance if I asked you to dance?
Would you run and never look back?
Would you cry if you saw me crying?
Would you save my soul tonight?

Not sure how dancing, running & crying would save his soul but, umm kay.

Would you tremble if I touched your lips?
Would you laugh? Oh, please tell me this.
Now would you die for the one you love?
Oh, hold me in your arms tonight.

Sounds like a test! Ha ha! So, if she trembles, doesn't laugh, would volunteer to die for the one she loves, she wins the prize!
WOO HOO!
Winner - winner, chicken dinner!
She gets to hold him in her arms, there's a catch, she has to wait until night. Maybe because he's married or has a live in girlfriend. idk

I can be your hero, baby!
I can kiss away the pain!
I can stand by you forever.
You can take my breath away!

So.........this is what she receives for being his Ms.Right.
Yes, I would love this, wished for it for many years until I woke up, realized, it's only a dream. A beautiful fantasy, yet, only a dream.

He could be my hero, baby! 
There's a hell of a lot of pain to kiss away. He'd need some industrial strength lip balm.
Stand by me forever? Dang, dude, forever is a long long time.
Yep, I really would take his breath away just as he would take mine if these words were backed up with ACTIONS!

Would you swear that you'll always be mine?
Would you lie? Would you run and hide?
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
I don't care, you're here, tonight.


Yeah, I could swear to this as long as we were committed to each other, both treating each other well, the way it should be.
Would I lie? Nope. Not unless I absolutely had to. Lying is somethig I avoid unless I absolutely have to.
In too deep? I'm leaving this one alone. *wink*   *smile*

Loving another person is a form of losing your mind, giving in to the pain, the pleasure, the sweetness of surrendering with another human being to merge souls even if it lasts a lifetime or forever. Sounds a bit codependent, hmm?
Yeah, baby, I'm here, tonight.

Oh, I just want to hold you
I just want to hold you, oh yeah!


Yes, being held, holding each other is something I tremendously miss. It's why I can't sleep at night, it's why I have 2 body pillows. Front & back.
Holding someone & being held is so comforting.

For now?

I just want to hold good thoughts.

Life is good for me, right now, although solitary, it's safer to keep to myself. Predatory people will seize the opportunity to take advantage of another persons desire for love, for friendship, for comfort.

Males will lead a woman to believe he actually cares, only to take from her what he wants then vanish.
A form of cowardice.

One definition of cowardice is a male who awakens the love in a woman knowing he is neither free of other commitments nor does he plan to allow himself to love her in return.

Females will lead others to believe that she is their friend when in actuality, she is a basic succubus, taking, taking, taking, never giving back.

Just want to hold good thoughts in my heart & mind where it's safe.

In the words of the misunderstood Norma Jean ~

Hold a good thought for me!

Love & luck, y'all!

OUT

Him

It doesn't matter to me if he has money or if he has none 
It was never having money that made me fall for anyone 

The most valuable substance I could ever find
Has been found in a good guys heart also in his mind 

He's smart, compassionate while still just wild enough 
To keep life interesting with his sexy manly stuff

He's a man of his word which makes me feel safe & sound
One of a kind, my hero, the very best to be found

He's not perfect, no, not perfect at all, he's just right 
Imperfect enough to love me as I am, he's my personal knight 

Nice to be able to fantasize to get through a day like today it seems 
For he's only in my imagination, a girl can still have dreams 

Out of my life...

He's out of my life...

It's a little sad, even though I expected it, he had the courtesy to let me know he was leaving, wouldn't be back. Most people just pull a disappearing act without a word. *POOF* they're gone. 

Not him.

He's a good man, a caring, intelligent person. I'm describing his ways in which he is conscientious, keeps his word, cares for the feelings of others. Many times, I would sit in his office having conversations that were personal, sometimes deep, sometimes a bit silly, always enlightening, always good. It was a true friendship that many say is non-existent in today's world.

The friendship I speak of is the one between a girl and a guy. He was a gentleman, a good friend, a guy so full of mischief he had sparks in his eyes. I kept my boundaries, he kept his.

We were friends.

On many occasions, he did small favors for me, I gave him gift cards that came my way. Gift cards to restaurants that he liked. Keeping my daily calorie intake for healthy eating habits, lowering BMI, sticking to health promoting foods that are most often found in my kitchen! He always smiled great big when I dropped a gift card off to him at his office. 

Very few people are as nice as he is. In Graham, Texas, they are surface friendly, hold anyone who wasn't born here or married to someone who was, at arms length. 

Not him.

When he and I were discussing life events, he teared up when I told him of difficult parts, busted up laughing at my stupid jokes, shared details of his life with me. Very real, very humble, love it!

So, it may surprise you when I tell you that this really awesome guy was the manager of the gym where I work out. I spend 2 - 4 hours of my day, there, every day, so, it's  like a second home.

The day he told me he had put his 2 weeks notice in, I cried, he hugged me in one of his tight man hugs. I told him I would miss him, yet, I knew he had to move on.

It might seem that I had a bit of a crush on him. Yeah, you can  admit it! You were thinking that, weren't you?

I can honestly answer, no. I didn't have a crush on him. Simply put, there are very few truly caring people in the world. People who are sincere with no ulterior motives. They are few & far between.

Most people spout all kinds of BS, yet, their actions prove that they are flaky, rarely follow through on what they say. Blowing smoke just for fun. Lips flapping with no actions behind their declarations.

Maybe I like these sincere people because I'm a sincere person. When I make a promise or a declaration, I mean what I say.

He was that way, too. He followed up his sincere words with actions 99% of the time. Life gets in the way at times for everyone.

Walking into the gym doesn't feel the same, now. The new staff are professional, nice people, yet, the energy in the air is different.

I have his cell number, yet, I won't call him. He has my cell#, I would be delighted if he just gave me a friendly hello. That's highly unlikely and it's okay with me.

Although he is one of those exceptional people I will always remember ~

He's out of my life.

Something New!

A regular part of my day is to hit the gym hard for 2 hours. 

Usually?

Up early (define early! hah!) Sometimes early is 4 am sometimes 5, sometimes as late as 9 am, depending on what I had going the night before. 

Usually am in bed no later than 930 pm. No caffeine addiction, here, have never been a coffee drinker, so, it's usually 8 oz of plain cold water or, if I prepped it the night before, lemon water.

Many people who have a regular fitness habit may know the frustration of the "plateau". Sometimes, when trying to reach a certain fitness goal, the body gets used to the usual routine.
A plateau (all work, no progress) is the body saying, "Time to change it up." Upon which, I change it up! As long as my heart rate is above 120 bpm, as long as my T-shirt is getting soaked, it's good! 

2 hours goes by rapidly when I'm enjoying my time, listening to music I enjoy.

Recent change up (September 8, 2015):


3 minute plank on elbows

1 mile on eliptical

3 minute plank on hands

1 mile on eliptical

45 minute strength training class

1 mile or more on eliptical (if given the choice & time permits, I go 3 miles or more at the end) The feeling of getting stronger is the biggest reward of all.

Got fitness?

Getcha some!

Love and luck to you!

KonMari!

Today was an awesome day.

Awesome!
AWESOME!
AWESOME!!!

So.........I suffered for awhile, not from lackanookie, but, umm, that, too! Suffered from lackakala! Cheddar, dollahs, moola, money, whatever way ya phrase it, I was suffering.

The KonMari method is a way of down-sizing, organizing, simplifying, invented by Marie Kondo. A very wise, witty woman from Japan. She wrote a book called, 
"KonMari ~ The life changing magic of tidying up. A Japanese art of organizing."

She was right. I DO see magic happening in my life. Aside from the money from the USAF, the money from translating documents, it's enough to live on with not much to spare. I looked at all the bins I had organized my crafts (mostly sewing & needlework) into. There were 35! 30 plastic bins, 24" long x 18" wide x 10" deep. Then, there were the 5 that were double that size.

Many years of teaching needlework, doing needlework & sewing for pleasure & profit. I had accumulated 35 of these bins over flowing. Now, the bins were organized, by category, by designer, one was full to almost overflow with DMC embroidery floss. Hundreds of colors, thicknesses, all neatly identified by a band on them identifying them with a number going from 105 - 3999. Some even having a variegated or ombre coloring.

My passion as of the last 12 years has been fitness. I still indulge myself in an afternoon of creating beauty with floss and a fine weave linen. My favorites are 32 sq to the inch, sometimes 28.
There are a few projects I work on from time to time. In the upheaval of a divorce, then, the horror that is the dating world, it's rare when I can keep my concentration.

The point of this epiphany is ~ what was I going to do with all this stuff? The KonMari method is to start the purge with clothes & shoes. Hold each item individually. If it doesn't spark joy, toss it!
Donate it, throw it away, give it away. I got rid of 3/4 of my clothes, now I was ready for the second phase. Books, papers, mementos.
Yepp.

I posted on a needlework message board. I received offers to buy a couple items here & there. It would take too long, mailing little by little. One lady who lived relatively close, wanted to come to my home to look through what I had, on Wednesday. She wanted to come to my home on...........wait for it.............................Friday!

She wanted to purchase it ALL for in excess of $500. 

Be careful what you wish for, ya just might get it, riiiiight?!!?!?

I worked on sorting for 4 hours, took a 1/2 hour nap, woke up, sorted for 2 more hours.....there are so many emotional land mines in those needlework bins. Memories of my former life. UGH!
I began to shake all over, my heart was pounding so hard, I ran for the porcelain "cookie receptacle", promptly, retched between sobs, losing my cookies. I was having a panic attack, anxiety attack, a full scale melt down. Sitting on the bathroom floor, sobbing, losing my cookies until there was no more "cookie" left in me.

I needed help. I reached for the phone to call my closest,dearest lifelong friend, Janice, in Maryland. A GF so close she knows everything about me, yes, everything......still trusts me, loves me, accepts me without judging.

We talked for 2.5 hours between my sobs, my confessions, my whining. 

First time in over 5 years I have allowed myself a meltdown.

I worked on sorting for 2 more hours.

On Fridays, I clean my car, on Saturdays, I clean my home. It was Friday, had to stick to routine. The buyer would be at my home at 1130 hrs. It was 10 am, plenty of time to vacuum my car, wipe the interior down, run him through the car wash, dry him & get home. Oh, yeah, my car is a guy. His name is Texas. It's on his plates! or, his name tag plates. *smile* 

Got home, the smell of the fresh baked bread filled my home. Janice called. She loves me, was checking up on me, making sure I was okay. Started straightening up a bit. The buyer arrived at 1130 hrs, exactly!

She looked through the bins with the methodical approach of a professional. WOWZERS!
She offered me a good price, I asked for $200 more, she agreed, went to her car, brought the money, she consolidated the bins from 25 down to 20, we carried them to her car, loading them to all fit. 

That, was that. She asked me if this was okay, if I was okay.........I was MORE than okay with it! I was relieved at the space freed up in my home. The money, the quickness of the whole transaction. Making that much money, selling off that much "stuff" would have taken me 8 months or more in yard sales, inter net sales, etc.
Yupp, ha ha! I was very very okay with it.

A good day. KonMari method. Marie Kondo would be thrilled to see the joy that ridding myself of clutter brought to me.

You can listen to her book online, on YouTube. It really is life changing, it really is magic.

*poof*