By trade, I am a linguist. It's something I enjoy so much; it feels more like play than work. I'm certified as fluent, at native speaking level in 6 languages. The 6th language was one I have taught myself in the past 18 months. I can speak it as well as read it. It's possible for me to write it only with a Cyrillic program online.
This is to say, I am NOT a trained counselor.
"Dammit, Jim! I'm a linguist, not a counselor!"
While professional counseling might work for others, it damaged me more than it helped. The very first formal, professional counseling I received, lasted for one year, it helped me tremendously. It helped me to heal greatly from a very traumatic, abusive childhood.
Forever & always, I will be grateful to the counselor, who stuck with me to unscramble my thinking, to understand the practices that damaged me, to be a better person, a better mother. Breaking the cycles of abuse that had been going on for several generations was worth it, so very expensive, so very pain filled.
Completely worth it.
At this point, I have to express gratitude, also, to the woman who kindly, compassionately took care of my 2 older children. A full year, while I went through the counseling that completely changed my life. Counseling which also made a huge difference in my sweet babies' lives. The 2 youngers of my children were not born, yet it made a difference for them. Of this I am 100% certain.
Moving through time, there were still some difficulties when I sought professional counseling. After such a positive experience, it was natural to believe that all counselors & counseling could be good experiences. After all, professionally trained counselors are trained to help in healing.
It's a bit tricky to find a counselor who is adequately trained. One who is truly compassionate, who is a counselor who is working to help others as in caring more for people than the money it pays.
Finding a counselor who is a good fit is more difficult than winning a mega million lottery. In my experience, the odds have been just that low. Professional counselors are people, too. Just as some non-counselors do, they will sometimes deceive, lie, with hold, pass judgment.
Yeah - Yeah.
I know it's unethical, it's just wrong. It still goes on, though. It has been my personal experience that some counselors have lied to me or lied about their credentials or even just used deception to get into or out of whatever they felt they had to do.
My intuition is sharper now, than it has ever been. Some people might call it gut instinct. It's sometimes referred to as the Holy Spirit. Some might say it's a still small voice.
Mine used to be still & small until I began listening to it, more. It's similar to a muscle. The more you exercise it, the stronger it will become. Having had too many negative experiences with organized religion, it has shaped me into a spiritual person vs a religious one.
That still, small voice is more like a flowing, assertive speaking one.
Organized religion is more of a making money off of the God concept than it is about doing good in the world. The simple country preacher has mostly been replaced by televangelists & super churches. People & organizations cashing in on the concepts of God. My church is the church of the elliptical, Stairmaster & free weights. A place where I get the most peace, where I do the most thinking.
Counseling? F that S.
(For me)
My last experience with a professional counselor, I determined, was the last professional counselor I would turn to, ever.
While prayer is less of a constant in my life, I do turn to it occasionally. Sometimes it even turns to me in the form of guidance, intuition. The flowing, assertive inner voice that guides me.
As I was trying to heal from various sources that had done damage, that is something that happens in every person's life, I sought a counselor. At first, it seemed to be helping. I'm far less trusting than I have ever been. It took time for me to trust this counselor. Just as I had begun trusting the counselor, the betrayal of that trust set in.
Yep, betrayed by the counselor.
At the counselor's suggestion, a regular weekly appointment was arranged. This was of great comfort to me. The thinking was that maybe this counselor was of the ilk of the compassionate, caring one that I had experienced the most healing from.
There was hope.
At the point where I had been seeing the counselor for one month that the assertive inner voice, spoke to me, making spidey senses tingle that all was different than it seemed with the counselor.
A person who I had known for many years asked me if I could do an enormous favor.
The favor involved, staying in her rented home for 2 months, then signing the closing documents for a new home to be purchased. The place I would be house sitting was in another state, about 600 miles away. I am described by many people as a trustworthy, wise, consistently truthful person. ESPECIALLY when it concerns money.
Because I had some misgivings about the counselor, I prayed about it. The answer was that the counselor was, specific to me, not as they seemed.
That the counselor was going to cancel all future appointments with me.
That the counselor was close friends with a previous employer who had lied to me to cover themselves.
Therefore, the counselor was going to use an excuse to cancel all of our regular appointments, using a weak, made-up excuse to halt our appointments, in loyalty to her friend.
Water seeks its own level.
In answer to the one who had asked me to house sit for 2 months; my answer was that I had a personal revelation that the counselor was not as they seemed. That they would employ a deceptive reason to cancel the regular appointments. That, when, vs if, the counselor cancelled all future appointments, I would say "Yes" to house sitting as well as standing in to signing the closing of the property purchase.
The Holy Spirit is correct, 100% of the time.
On that day, when I went to the counselor's office, it happened just as I was told it would. All future appointments were cancelled, it was also revealed to me, in time that the counselor was buddy-buddy with the previous employer who had shafted me.
There is a double rose to this. Double rose as opposed to double edged sword. It even smells a bit sweeter. While the counselor used a deceitful method, it was a good thing that I had my future appointments cancelled. I could do the home sitting & document signing, would have a change of life pace. In addition to that, there were some visits with family & prior acquaintances during the 2 months I was there.
While it's unethical for a medical or psychological professional to deceive or outright lie to a client, it worked out after all.
Something that also happened was to cement my resolve to never seek out a professional counselor for the rest of my life. The counselor's deception was the proverbial frosting on the cake plus the cherry on top, in one.
Yet another bonus was that the intuition I received was proved 100% correct. This served to strengthen my trust in my intuition, to give stronger resolve to trust then follow the advice it gave.
People, even professional people, are only human. Humans sometimes lie, cheat, steal, for whatever of their reasons. Counselors also, sometimes lie, cheat, steal, for whatever their purpose is.
From what I learned in this last experience, though I only bear goodwill. I will never seek a professional counselor, ever, again.
Every person's best counselor is their own intuition. Although most of the media distorts, makes fun of, totally negates beneficial promptings of a spiritual nature, it has been repeatedly proven that it's mostly lies, deception designed to entertain.
Also designed to dilute the spiritual aspect of being human, so much, that most will be very hesitant to consider or speak of it.
Fears of being disbelieved as a minimum, being dubbed as a kook or mentally / emotionally unbalanced are the danger.
A caveat to this, is that, intuitions used or given by any source or any person rarely if ever applies to all. Intuition is such a personal aspect of human spirituality that it will most often only apply to the one spirit of the person receiving it.
There may sometimes be a ripple of benevolence from just one person listening then doing as instructed, that affects many others.
If only the people who say, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" because we know the Lord doesn't need to eat (a bit of humor). If the same people actually lived by, "As for me and my house we will listen to then apply our benevolent intuition".
The world might, just might have less suffering.
As for me, I have learned to listen then follow my intuition. It is truly a learned aspect, it takes practice. It also, sadly, takes as many experiences as it takes, of the pain when intuition is ignored. Some people learn sooner in life, some learn it later, some never learn.
The lessons learned in my life, thus far, I attribute to the one who has guided me, less so, to myself.
I am only human.
