Monday, June 27, 2022

Life is Good!




I realized I had to give up being a wife
With the one I used to imagine 
He who would be the love of my life
Realizing this is that which sets my soul so free
Creating a sweet world of my very own making
As the very happiest version of myself I can be
Going to bed only when I feel it's time for sleep
Rising early or sleeping all day if it's what I wish
Spending more time smiling with less time to weep
Where I go and with whom for as long as I may
My days as they take me where they will
Back home at the time of night or the next day
Life has so much more meaning when I do all I can
To spread happiness to those who need it the most
Sans constraints placed on me by beast nor man
The path my life has taken was one so unforeseen
Most people pity more than they understand
Like a Lady Hawke I fly solo kindhearted serene









Friday, June 24, 2022

With Love From a Sage





My grandfather told me to never wear my heart on my sleeve 
That people will see it as their opportunities to use me
Then leave me in the aftermath to heal my heart as I grieve
As long as I show less to others there isn't much to see
My grandfather told me to only ever speak words of truth
To speak wisely speak kindly while watching and observing
How I wish I had perfected it when I was in single digit youth
A practice that all people know is such good dignity preserving
Though I learned such lessons much later on than most people do
It's better to have learned these things later than not learn them at all
A trauma filled childhood kept me guessing what was false or true
His loving lessons still catch me before I might trip then fall
They comfort me when nursing a wounded or shattered heart
People of the world can be so deceptive it hinders a judgment call
With lies upon lies that that can tear a person's very soul apart
Grandpa said to believe nothing people say & half of what they do
To be safer from predatory people looking for others as prey
These cautions he lovingly spoke to me have always rung so true
As I employ his kindly lessons while living them each & every day
In retort to the often-said God bless you after he had a sneeze
"And may the devil take you" with a smile and a glint in his eye
He told me that to be a happy person you must do as you please
You can't please all people, nor should anyone deign to try
It's important to know your mind likewise to know your worth
Love those who love you who show it when they prioritize you
A concept so simple so ignored by so many who walk this earth
Let go of those in your life who once did yet they no longer do
Neither loan nor borrow that which you wish to have back
Give it with no thought of it being returned unscathed to you
Peace of mind is so very precious to keep relationships intact
Resentment is easier to harbor than forgiveness is ever to do
So I raise a glass of chilled Vernors which was his favorite drink
He claimed that it could chase away troubles though he had so few
A rich legacy in many he taught by his example to wisely think






Friday, June 17, 2022

I Feel Your Paint





Art is often viewed as a luxury. It's also often seen as reserved for those people who are wealthy, having more lucre than they need or know what to do with it. This mindset is the often-shared point of view by people or even groupings of people who work so hard to get ahead.
Sadly, they feel they are working so hard, spinning their wheels, looking out as if living in a fishbowl. As they are watching other people who seem to acquire all that they need, want, ever dreamed of having, it's a mystery to some.

It's akin to the people who struggle with obesity. They might have been born into a family that struggles with health problems which are brought on by obesity with no clue as to break the cycle. 
I have heard the lament!
I have even been the lamenter. 
From doing independent research on the one aspect, I know more about than anyone. My own body, what I consume as well as what consumes my time here on earth. Research that taught me that my genetics can be used to my advantage.
Everyone's skeletons in their closets can be made to dance.

Shortly after leaving my parents' home, I felt my mindset beginning to shift. It did help my mindset shift that I was far from any family members, in a totally different environment. The environment did help. From a small town in Michigan to Honolulu, Hawai'i.
It helped a little, well, maybe it helped a lot!
I realize that going to or living in Hawai'i was a magical place for me, though other people's magical place may be a different locale. 
It worked for me.
It was where I got to know myself. 
My magical place was also where I met someone who helped me to further change my mindset with a handful of deep conversations. He was a somewhat powerful, wise, humble, very kind man.

Something he said has stuck with me, ever since then. I remain deeply grateful to him; I learned the power of humility from him. 

There were so many lessons he taught me. These were only two of the many lessons that benefitted me, the most.
Wait, that was only one, what was the other?
I shared details with him that I had never shared with any other person up to that point in my life. 

The great second lesson:
He told me that many people are born into the right family for all the wrong reasons.
He told me that many people are also born into the wrong family for all the right reasons.
He told me that most people are born into a family which is a benevolent fit for what their purpose in life is yet to be.

Lucky ducks!
Maybe so, maybe less true.
I love my siblings! 
They, themselves, have done many wonderful things with their lives. Some of what they have accomplished with the gifts they naturally had at birth, some of the traits they have developed, are still developing with their young lives. Some of the achievement in their lives was from skills that they worked very hard to cultivate.
Having always felt that I was very different, I set out into the world, on my own, at the earliest age as the third child of six children. I moved out, stayed out, made it on my own. 
For better, for worse, I stayed out, on my own. It has made a difference.
Sometimes there were difficult, pain filled times, sometimes there were easier, more joyful times. A respite from the process of being forged by the fire that is life. Time & life that forges us all. That sometimes gives us trial by fire, cooled by the wind, the water that strengthens people who go back, of their own will, into the fire.

As a child, I always felt that I was very different from my siblings, also, from nearly every person I knew. I began writing poetry as soon as I learned to write, at the age of four years. Then, I began writing short stories. The notebooks I had written in are still with me, now. Often, I would send my musings to magazines & newspapers. Sometimes, they were even accepted, then published. 
This created quite a stir.
Even more of a stir when my age was revealed.

People who influenced me in their benevolence, showed me that my desires were within reach. The finer things in life were in my reach. 
All that was needed was to reach, keep reaching.

My Aunt Helen was the first of these influences. As a child, I thought she looked like Elizabeth Taylor. She was very kind. When my mother would take my siblings & I to visit her, my uncle plus their 2 sweet little girls, it was a huge treat!
Aunt Helen had a way of creating beauty. Even when it was just cookies on a plate, she would arrange them so nice, then put little flowers with them. It was almost too pretty to eat. I didn't get cookies very often, as a child, I ate the cookies!

The finer things were more often ideas; my desires were more about personal growth, opportunities, experiences, than they were about material things. Material things did come to me. Often, after I had enjoyed them, I gave them to others, to give them the joy which I had felt.
It was a common practice, when a guest in my home, showed a love or longing for something they saw. It could be a picture, a nick knack, sometimes even a piece of furniture. I would give it to them to have as their very own.
This action also helped me to feel more love for people, less so for material things.
Yep, it's okay to feel happiness from material things.
In a Christian context, the most often mis-quoted passage from The Bible is:
"Money is the root of all evil."

The actual wording is:

1 Timothy 6:10

"For the love of money is the root of all evil..."

As in, when a person loves money so much that they will deceive, steal, step on the backs of others, often crushing them, just to gain more money.

 An attitude of charity, of generosity, of compassion is a greater treasure than all of the gold that used to be in the US treasury.
(The US treasury is nearly bankrupt, which speaks volumes)

The attitudes that were formed in my childhood began to manifest the dreams I'd had for the experiences I had craved. There were many of these experiences that were fulfilled. There are many more that I will experience. 
I'm still young, just getting started!

When I look at works of art, most of it moves me. I mean ~
REALLY MOVES ME.
Often, the movement is an emotion, the positive trigger of a memory, it can also remind me of a person or a pet, whether current or present, that I love. Sometimes, it makes my heartbeat faster, even moves me to where I was, forward, to a better state of mind.




When I lived in Hawai'i, there was an artist who created such strikingly beautiful works of art, they were mesmerizing. Oil on canvas paintings of people in natural Hawai'ian settings. There were also landscapes of the ocean, beaches, familiar settings such as Diamond Head, Hana'uma Bay, Iolani Palace, the Ko'olau mountains in their verdant greenery. 
Like so many works of art, the paintings were as expensive as they were beautiful, moving, prized by many. 
The artist, Diana Hansen Young, was also reputed to be kind, warm, somewhat cheeky in personality.
As much as I was captivated by the paintings, the price of even the least expensive one was the equivalent of 7 months of my income.
Certain aspects of life such as food, shelter, fuel for the jalopy, car insurance, all take precedence over purchasing a work of art. Even the most beautiful, moving, art which is worth the price, was out of my reach. 
Dreams are free
Desires are free
Happy memories are free

Keeping in my memory, the beauty of those images, I continued to want just one of those paintings for my very own. Life has taught me that even a small, fatherless boy can grow up to be a president or a great man or both.

What felt like many lifetimes later, I had a stroke of extreme prosperity. The lucrative sort that I had been working for, for 5 years. I never knew whether it would pay off or not. Still, I kept working at it. It seemed to be serendipitous as many events in my life have been.
People who know me well have told me that it seems to be part karma, part due to the correct decisions I have made.

I had gone to the gallery showings of Diana Hansen Young, I spoke with her every time. She was humble, courteous with a glow of happiness that felt so warm. The feeling stayed with me for weeks, after every visit with her. It was so heart touching.

When the chance to have one of these beautiful works of art came to me, I bantered for the best price. It took 2 months for the seller & I to come to a mutual agreement. The seller wanted the money as much as I wanted the painting. It felt like a delicious, hazy dream as I unpacked the box containing the painting. It was 5' x 3', as tall as I am. The packaging was so meticulous, was sent via Fed Ex.
Well worth the wait! The painting is an original, 16" x 20" oil on canvas, professionally framed, bare, without glass. It moves me in so many ways. 
It's also a symbol of hope for me, that anything is achievable for those like me who wait, who persevere, who work for it.


The other work of art that I own, was a trade with someone I met when I was serving on AD USAF. Through the marvelous medium that is the internet, we got back in touch. He has developed his skill as an artist. His paintings are a testament to his skill, also to his intelligence & creativity.
He saw the photos of my finished needlework pieces which I pour my heart, into. He wanted to pay to have a certain pattern stitched for him. I stitch slow, savoring the process. Selling one of my stitched pieces would feel like selling my child. I told him that if he was willing to wait, I would love to have one of his original paintings. The deal was sealed, all online. Words, typed online. No in person meeting nor a phone conversation. It was a first for me.

Because I work a lot & needed certain materials to make the stitched piece have the beauty to make him happy, it took awhile to get it started. I'm very particular about getting things right. 
I suppose I'm my own critic. When I do something, I do it right.
As I carefully packaged the needlework piece, I knew I had created a work of art that would please him. I had washed it twice, rinsed it twice, carefully pressed it between 2 clean white towels, then pressed it with a professional grade clothes iron.
My painter buddy had sent my painting several months before. I knew that if I took it out of its careful packaging, it might sap my motivation to finish his work of art. 

As I removed the painting from its careful packaging, well protected by layers of padding, it took my breath away! All I had told him was that I wanted an oil on canvas painting of the moon.
He delivered so much more!
I felt the time, care, love & talent he used to create such beauty.

In the creativity, the sense of pride, of happiness, feeling the paint.



It's a 16" x 20" (I believe). It hangs next to my bed to gaze at, as I fall asleep. When I wake, I gaze at it to start my day. A painting is just oil, tint, canvas & wood. 

When you know the artist, it becomes so much more.

PJ & Me

Animals are such wonders; most are truly gifts from God.  I mean that.   Loving animals as I do, being able to communicate with them during ...