The 2%

My eyes are light green with flecks of yellow in the iris.  People have told me that my eyes are mesmerizing. Some people have told me that they can see my eyes from across a room. It's just something I was blessed with...…..or maybe cursed? :)

As a child, my mother told me that it was a sure sign that I was full of "diarrhea". Thanks, mom!
At school, the other children mercilessly teased me, calling me a vampire. Outside, during recess, my eyes turned yellow in the sun.

So, yeah, it made me very self conscious. It made me loathe my green eyes. Everyone else had blue eyes or brown eyes, then, there was ……….me.
It made me shy, timid, ashamed of my eye color. I was more quiet, then, afraid to speak up unless I absolutely had to.
When I went to BMT, then Tech School for the USAF, I gained a bit more self confidence, I could forget about my hideous eyes.

The very first time I remember feeling that the color of my eyes was not a curse was when I was at my first military assignment.
Hickam AFB, Hawaii. 
Lots of sunshine! 
Lots of opportunity to be labeled a vampire.
After gaining self confidence, finding my voice, it no longer mattered.

There was a guy (always a guy! lol!) who was so hot, so confident,
so...everything....he was way out of my league, I knew it! Hot guys like him wouldn't even consider green eyed girls like me.
Still.....
Every time he was near me, I would shake like a leaf in a strong wind! Just looking at him was all I could do, his charisma was white hot!
His job in the USAF was Pararescue. At the time, I didn't know much about what a high caliber a man had to be, to be in that career field.
All I knew was that I felt his charisma, his magnetism that drew me to him and made me feel so nervous & scared around him.
Joel.
His name was Joel.
That's all I will say about his identity out of respect for him.

With just 4 words, he swept my shame about my eye color away.

In the 4 words he uttered, he erased my many episodes of shame.

I was in the Hickam AFB BX when I noticed many of the women acting differently. 
Yep, he was there. He had that effect on most women. He had that much je ne sais pas that the feeling in the air changed in his presence.
I definitely felt it.
I went into an area of the BX, away from where he was, like a scared little bunny, trying to escape.
He found me.
In the horizontal gap, with the aisle separating us, he was peering at me.
"OH! Jesus, please save me." I thought, in an earnest plea.

I walked down the aisle as he matched my steps, peering at me. I tried to avoid his gaze. Finally, I looked directly at him. He slowly curved his mouth into a smile, I'm not sure if he knew the effect he had on me, or maybe he did. 
Then, he wiped my shame from years of insults away with 4 words.
In a low, guttural ,while still smooth, voice he said:
"Pretty green eyes! MMMM"
My heart was pounding, then, he walked away.

Most likely, he doesn't remember doing this or maybe he does.
It was a pivotal moment for me.


It may sound silly, it meant a lot to me.

With those 4 simple words, something inside me lifted.

From that event to present day, I learned to embrace my green eyes.

HEY!

It isn't easy, being green.


For your consideration:
(You might have to copy & paste.)

https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/medical/only-two-percent-of-the-worlds-population-have-this-trait/ar-BBT3LTR?ocid=spartandhp

When will I be ready?

When?

The answer is....
The answer is …….

IDK

According to a Life Insurance Exam, the results from my "samples" ( fecal, blood, urine ) I have the innerds (organs) age of a 25 yr old.

Maybe it's because I take as little meds as possible?
Maybe it's because I have drank far less alcohol than my peers.
Maybe it's something else. What is it? IDK

Today 3/28/2019 a person guessed my age as around 15.

JK!!!!!

The guess was around 35.

tbt ~ I feel as if I am 25.

I have some of the telltale signs, yet, very few. 
In truth, I fell into a slump, for "a time", stopped working out as much as I have in the past decade.
As of recent weeks, I'm back into my workouts. Both at home as well as at the gym, a deadly- credly combo of both. :D

Still

I will keep my hair long, tyvm.
I will still quash the grey hairs.
I will still change, evolve, keep learning.

Although I know my bio age, I will laugh in defiance.  😁
(that's me, laughing!)

Discriminate or shame a person based on their gender, religion, race, skin color, weight, disability, sexual orientation? 
You will have hellfire complete with brimstone hailed down upon you.

For some odd, unjust reason, which has little basis, age shaming is popular, accepted, legal.
It's also a sign of ignorance.

When a person seems to be of a certain age, they become slowly, to be invisible. Many are viewed being of less value. 
The references are everywhere. references such as:

When a person is driving a POV at a slow speed :

C'mon Grandpa or C'mon Grandma

Other remarks:

That dress/outfit/shoes/blouse/ is so grandma.
EW! You look so grandma!
That's so old! (even if the style or whatever is from just 1 yr ago)

With these derogatisms ……..
(I just NEWLY made that up! You can use it!)

With those phrases said, I will say that (I will kick against the pricks when it comes to age negative remarks I hear every dam day!) age discrimination is such negativity, it's also very rude.

The answer to the original question is twofold. 

It will be a long time before I'm ready.
It will be a longer time before the ignorant will change the way they think then vocalize, proclaiming their ignorance.

PEEPS!!!!

Feeling as if I am 25 is something that has chosen me.

Choose to be informed

Choose to be open to new ideas

Choose to view people as they are, caring more about who they are as a person vs the knee-jerk reaction to put them into the box in which society often places them in an effort to devalue individuals.

Delight & surprise yourself!

Peace.

Special Forces at Work

THOSE SPECIAL FORCES?????

Maybe.

There seems to be something in the air. The shift is palpable. 

Things are changing.

Others have said that I'm an intuitive person. This means I'm psycho. I mean psychedelic. No, really, just someone who is too sensitive for her own well being.
I sense shifts in the way energy is flowing in my immediate circles, then the ripple outward, then, as it ripples inward in the way it affects me, on a personal level.

Sometimes the shift portends fortune or sadness or a myriad of degrees in between. The main event is that something is changing.
Because this feeling has come over me in the past when I found that I was with child, I'm glad I have not been sexually active for many years.
While I would love, nurture, care for a child, it would be rather difficult for me as I have grown to love my freedom.

This shift in the world is far beyond my scope, affecting many more people besides me.

If you are one to scoff or pffft the spiritual realm as aerie faerie, you can click off. It's the beauty of the internet. 😇

Peace.

Does he know?

Maybe guys feel the same way about their height as girls do about their breast size? Maybe guys care about breast size, too! lol

For my entire life I have heard guys lament about their height, they want to be taller if they are under 5'10. Sometimes it's about feeling more masculine if they were taller. Maybe it's about being more attractive to the ladies if only he was 4"-6" taller. Many seem to believe that they would feel more confident or secure if they were a bit taller.

In reality?

Many guys are seen as insanely hot, their height has little if any to do with their attractiveness.

FYI - Guys who are 5'10" - 6'6" won't be insecure about their height, they find other aspects to feel insecure about. 
It's actually kinda sad.

When I became single after the end of an unhappy marriage, I went out into the treacherous slope that dating had devolved into while I was busy trying to stay married.
It was tinged with sadness.
The guys who were under 5'10" were insecure about their height or lack thereof, first and foremost.

The guys who were 6' - 7'2" were insecure about their low income or their teeth or the car they drove...…...always something.

Stay with me, peeps, this blog entry is about guys, well, because I'm straight all the way. 
I never did & most likely never will switch teams. It's my choice!

With all of that said, it makes me wonder. 
(Lots of things make me wonder.")

It makes me wonder if the guys who are under 5'10", realize that if a lady is really into him, he is attractive to her no matter what his height is. It's only a shallow, insecure girl who would only judge for herself, that a guy is not dateable based on his height.
The guy could be any height, have anything that he sees as less than acceptable, in himself, an emotionally healthy girl will be attracted to him.
The reason that many girls will date taller guys is that taller guys are much more likely to have fewer hang ups. Much more likely to be more confident.
Self confidence is attractive. Male or female, it makes a person so much more attractive.

For your examples of proof, here is a list for your reading pleasure.

You're most welcome.

Peace!


David Cassidy - 5'7"
Tom Cruise - 5'6"
Ben Stiller - 5' 7"
Michael J. Fox - 5'4"
Nick Jonas - 5'6"
Al Pacino - 5'7"
Audie Murphy - 5'5"
Bruno Mars - 5'5"
Prince - 5'2"
Kenny Chesney - 5'6"
Ulysses S. Grant - 5'8"

Limited Communication

It's better to tell only what is needed to say
The feelings felt when you went away
Away from me away from what was us
Keeping it locked in my heart and thus
The words will be few

The scars on the heart from a sloppy break
Are all that remains of love for loves sake
Visible still though somewhat diminished
From lack of closure after it was finished
Betwixt me and you

Memories are all I have that will remain
Forgotten are the struggles with the pain
Moving on is essential to grow to heal
Life must be lived with it's fresh reveal
Old is banished all is now new

Phrases with music with scent with sound
From the time when you were always around
The scent I wore the clothes I would don
Special moments from life before you passed on
Two people with one love so true

Now time has moved forward as it always will
There's a heavy air in the world with spaces to fill
Can one person ever be so replaced
All they were with all they embraced
A one of a kind where life grew

While moving while shaking while I'm still here
Occasionally recall then shedding a light tear
Being grateful to the time we had with plans we made
Smiling to myself as your essence will slowly fade
Dissipates with each sunrise like morning dew

You'd be happy to know that I've found someone now
Never saw it coming at me nor do I know how
Someone who is happy who is lively and carefree
Someone who is dynamic who is the brand new me
A lovely spirit with a fresh life view...

Happiness Within

Happiness ~ One of the most basic states of being while also eluding so many people.

I have, personally listened to many single people who seem to dwell on their single self. Many believe that if they find their person to share their life with, they will be happy.
Many people also seem to believe that it's intrinsic to their happiness to be coupled up aka the urge to merge! 😁

Then, there's the flip side of those who have found their person. At first, it's wonderful, exciting, pure bliss. When said person sees that being in a couple with "their person" takes work? Many give up, have little desire to do the work while others are willing to do whatever it takes to keep their blessed union together.

Some people will stay with their person because they have children, property, pets, financial assets. Some people are simply paralyzed into staying right where they are from fear of being alone.
All of these are the wrong reasons to stay together.

Several coupled up people who I have detailed or semi-detailed knowledge of, work at staying together because, well, they love each other.
Long after the sexual excitement has faded, the child bearing years have passed, the children are adults, the dogs & cats have died, they stay together.
One common theme I have observed in these happily married couples?
Some people are committed to making their spouses' happiness as a priority. When they have a decision to make, they consider how it will impact their spouse, their relationship.
The ones who are still married, a bit miserable, infidelity is present, they are married, yet, either never were or no longer are committed.

There is a stark difference between married & committed or simply married. It's on paper, they had the suit & pretty dress party, yet, the work to keep the full blush on remains null.
Over the years, the commitment, the love dissipates. Many will stay together out of fear of financial loss, fear of being alone.

Myself? 
I was completely committed when I was married. I made his happiness my first consideration. 
He made his own happiness his first consideration. 
Over time, his lies, flirting constantly with other women right in front of me, my desire to be with him was eroded away. The females that he had affairs with while on temporary duty in Germany, that was the bitter pill that killed. I listened, during a late night phone call, as these lovesick females begged me to get him to go back to Germany to be with them, it gave me so much deep pain.
I was done. 

Since then, I have done a great deal of work on myself. 

PEEPS!

It has been real work. Possibly, labors of love. Self love to do so much work on myself that I could feel happy within myself, happiness that simply is. It's derived from the scent of fresh cut grass, beautiful music, the sweat from a workout, completing a creative work of art, traveling to beautiful places.
The happiness I have can sometimes be temporarily tinged with the sadness of the passing of a loved one. A person or a pet.

Since I have true, lasting happiness within, the sadness is experienced as temporary. It dissipates, happiness returns.
Balance is restored.

A few years back, I was that sad single girl who, almost desperately sought to have a guy in my life, I can admit this.
After so much heartbreak, I arrived at this epiphany! 
Happiness that only depends upon me, is lasting happiness. Anyone or anything that comes into my life, is an addition to happiness, yet, won't be predicated on that person or thing.
Things can break, deteriorate, become lost or stolen. People can decide they no longer want to stick around or betray, or hurt the one they claim to love.
Self love & happiness within will remain when it is only dependent upon happiness within. 
Anything or anyone entering my life is a bonus.

To be clear, I am no angel. I have made mistakes that negatively impacted the lives of others. Mistakes for which I bear regret.
Living, learning, vowing to be a better person, to help more than hurt others. It's been a journey.
This journey has made me a better person.
Would I do things in the way that I did, years ago? 
Most likely, I wouldn't.
There was, most definitely, a high personal price I paid.

In present day, life is good. All of my needs are met. Remaining happy within is a state of being for me. 
Helping others when I can.
Have I been taken advantage of when I helped others?
Yep. 
Yet, I knew exactly what was going on.
Did I go back in and help them, again ?
Nope.

The main principle is to live, learn, be happy.

I know exactly what I bring to the table, I am unafraid to eat alone.

If you won't help someone, at least, refrain from hurting them.

Peace out.

The Comfort of Water

Standing in the warmth
Of a steaming tub
Letting my hair tumble over
My shoulders
The weight becomes lighter
Banishing boulders
Heavy sadness 
The loss that touched
My tender heart
Is eased by fragrance
The cherry blossom bombe
Now he has passed from this world
This entertainment giver
I know in my heart
He will be missed forever

Anti-Social Personality Disorder.

If you are reading, hoping for a diagnosis or reading to see if this blog is about you, you will be disappointed.

Peeps!

I'm just a simple girl, writing a blog. I will leave the diagnosing to a real doctor.

If you are reading this because you think you might have anti-social personality disorder or even being accused of it, relax! Take a deep breath, refrain from calling 911. 
They can't help you.
Only you can help you.
It's your circus & your monkey.

Psychology holds a great deal of interest for me. The why, the who, the how, the way to discover what makes others "tick".

There are many armchair psychologists walking around or on the internet or even living right next door. 

Favorites of moi?

You Tube is just crawling with people who are the real deal. People who have gone to med school, gotten the training, suffered through residency, set up a private practice, are now very learned as to all the suffering in the world. Also, very learned as to those who inflict the suffering on others through various means.

Unfortunately, it seems that everyone plays the perp at some time as well as sometimes being the target. Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the...…… ha ha, you got it!

I follow a few of these Psycho-Gurus because it's fascinating. They turn the human mind inside out, tunnel in here & there, examine motives, actions, relationships.

Dr. Ramani Durvasala aka Dr. Ramani
Marisa Peer
Esther Perel

Just three.

It's only coincidence that all three are women. If you try to lob the feminazi fireball at me, it won't stick. Calm down, Clyde. :)

Dr. Ramani has some very interesting ideas as well as experiences in her booming practice in LA, Cali.

There is an in-law, married to one of my family members who meets most of the criteria of anti-social personality disorder. 
This person is very subtly isolating my blood family member from the rest of us. 
By being non-supportive in their spouses interactions with family members, by being non-communicative, slowly, isolating their spouse from family, it's very sad, it's working. Only my family member can make the situation change.

It's the same principle as boiling a frog.
The frog, initially is in some nice warm water, happy to stay there, then, the heat is very slowly turned. Eventually, the frog finally realizes they are being cooked, yet unable to get out of the pot.

Have you watched the Disney cartoon of Beauty & The Beast?

Of course, it's clear that the beast, at one time was a handsome Prince. He is found by a young woman who sees him when he is a beast, yet, she believes that if she sings some happy songs and puts a pretty dress on, he will stop being a beast, he will turn back into the handsome Prince.
In the fairy tale, he does.
Sadly, it ain't necessarily so, in real life.
The beast will remain as a beast in real life, only showing glimpses of the Prince, enough to keep their spouse hanging in there.
No one can tell the beast, anything. The beast feels like as long as they are content, everyone else has to just deal with their beastly ways. The other people are the problem, all 100, it's not them.
The spouse (male or female) keeps singing the songs, putting pretty clothes on, doing everything they can, just to get a glimpse of the Prince again. They think it's them, they wear themselves out trying so hard to appease the beast.
I was in a marriage with someone like this, it's emotional drain.
Appeasement is futile.

Mmm Hmm.

Is there a beast in your family? 

Death of My Last Angel

When I "acquired" my first, he was so scared, so sad, had so much potential. 
I saw him as who he truly was.
Oh, I was told that he was a pest, too loud, too aggressive.

It was love at first sight for me.

He whistled then sang the very first time we saw each other.

He went home with me within the first 10 minutes we saw each other. I want to believe that he loved me, too, in his own way.

Many people take strays in. Stray dogs, stray cats, rescue horses. That aspect of life had eluded me, until he came into my life.

It was then that my love for him, as well as his kind, began.

He was still a bit scared when he first went home with me. He had been so unappreciated, so neglected, given barely enough food with water to keep him alive. 
He was like a P.O.W. in Vietnam, kept in a cage being abused by way of neglect. His wondrously strong personality, cheerful singing, whistling, an occasional hiss when startled, showed his masculine personality. Such a character! Ha Ha!

I took him home with me to give him time to adjust to being loved, held, truly valued for the majestic creature he was. His life was about to change into the way it should have been from the start. 48 hours after I brought him home, he began receiving the attention, love, care, food, water, which he should have had for the past 2 years.
He blossomed, sang more, preened more once he had adjusted.

Soon, he had a mate to keep him company. She was the love of his life. A pearl pied sweet hen. They raised babies together, re-created "Wild Kingdom" together. It was only natural. ha ha!

All 3 of his companions passed on before he did. He was simply too strong or stubborn to die.

He went by a few names in life ~

Petey
Petronicus
Dam Bird
Daddy Bird

He lived longer than many dogs or cats do. He was nearly 20 years old when he passed on. That's a long life for a cockatiel, a testament to the good care he received from myself, Ms. Heather and then the doting, loving care from Ms. Lillian.

Petey, fragile angel with beautiful feathers, tough bird full of personality, passed over the rainbow bridge a week ago (?). I only found out last night, second hand. It was such a shock. It really hurt that I wasn't given the news first hand. 
Insult to injury.

It may seem inconsequential because he was a bird, you can say that if you never knew Petey. 

My tears are flowing, off and on.
My tears will slowly subside, memories of him will remain.

I knew Petey, I loved Petey, a once in a lifetime bird.

Shenanigans

Curious events have transpired recently.

As one who is very perceptive. Seeing situations happen while knowing when to speak up, when to rein it in is best. 

In my blogging experience, I can see certain statistics.

On February 2, 2019, my readership took a slight nose dive. Hmm.

I know of someone, out there in the world who has been trash talking me. He is probably unaware that I know of him, that I know what he is doing, that I even know many of the same people who he knows. Also, these people inform me of what he is saying & doing.
Mm Hmm.

He seems to be in personal turmoil, so, what to do?

What I have been doing is to pray for him. Sending love & well wishes for him. For all the trash talk, all of the poison, all of the toxic verbal darts he has been spreading about me, I send love, compassion, well wishes. 
Hoping it heals him of his sadness.

He is in need of this healing. 

I'm hoping he receives it.

Oh, David

I feel that I owe an apology.

As much as I prefer to live in the present moment, I have been watching interviews with the late David Cassidy.
I can be wrong. I reserve the right to be wrong. This is my admission that I was so very wrong.
As I watched him tumble from absolutely gorgeous to middle aged while still....still so hot! It was a bit sad. It drew the sadness from me, to see him fall from vibrant incredible human being to mediocre to such ruin, I cried. I cried for him, though I only know of him.
It was sad to see his decline, I cried at his pain. His bright smile was all that remained of the one loved by millions while they still loved him. 
It brought anger in me to see what his unhealthy habits had done to the one who had outsold Elvis Presley, The Beatles, had broken records as a HUGE fan base.
In compassion, I sympathize with David as he most likely had his reasons for his alcoholism spiral downward.
Wherever you are, David Cassidy, you are so beloved.

I am moved to tears.

tears flowing down my face
the sadness of understanding
which time won't erase

he was kind he was so very sincere
giving all that he had in his heart
to the listeners whom he held dear

his tuned in attitude which was his heart
was that which very few saw as truth
was that which tore him so apart

as hard as he worked to make so very sure
that his ideas his motives were understood
that his internal motives were so pure

I stand corrected in the way I judged this man
came in a crises moment of sadness of spirit
I apologize to all as the best I possibly can

David Cassidy RIP
you are still beloved, always remembered. XOXOX

Man Candle

Yup!

The title says it all.  I love my man candle! The scent of testosterone mixed with clean, masculine scent is a little slice of heaven, to me.

Some people might say, "Gurl! You don't get out much, do you?"

Actually, I get out a lot. However, after having my heart played with and shattered so many times, the last time was in August of 2012, remains as the last time.
It took me 2 years to recover. 
The guy?
I'm grateful to him. He hurt me so badly, it completely took the desire for male company, away from my heart.
This is sincere. I am, truly grateful to him.
In my recovery process, I made a promise to my heart that I would never let it be played with and shattered, again.
PEEPS!
This is a good thing!

Of course, I still admire guys, I still look, I don't touch. Also, I don't allow them to touch me. I'm asked out a lot, probably because I'm always smiling, generally in  a good mood, mostly happy. Very sweetly, I decline, thanking the gentleman for the compliment.

Having worked on myself enough to get to this peaceful state of being, life is good. 
Every time I would get to this blissful state of being, I would allow a guy into my life where he would proceed to shit all over me.
Great.
I allowed it, I can take my lumps, I learned to stop allowing males in.

Though I don't let manthrax in, I still admire masculine traits. One of those traits is the scent. 
OH!
Their scent!
Just like girls, every guy has his own distinctive scent, his own attributes which are very appealing.
Having a sensitive sense of smell, I appreciate the scent that guys have as individuals. It can be recreated, for my enjoyment.
Oh, yes, it can!

I have a candle that is made by Colonial Candle with the name of the scent as "Leather." It should be called, "Hot Sexy Guy."
I found this candle marked down in a store where I liked to shop, so, I bought one.
The same day I bought it, I took it home. As the sun was setting I lit the candle and...………...HOLEE SCHLAMOLEE! 
The scent was so intoxicating. 
It smelled like a man was sitting next to me, enjoying the movie. Good thing he didn't try to take my popcorn, he'd have a fight!
The next day, I went back to the store where I bought every one of those candles that had been  deeply discounted even lower!
WOOO HOOO!!!!!
Maybe it was because the candle was a deep black? Maybe the other shoppers saw a black candle and didn't go in for a sniff.
Their loss!
I brought all 6 of those candles home.

When a close female friend's husband was deployed to the Middle East for a year, she was a bit sad, missing him. I asked her if she missed his scent. The scent of shaving cream, after shave, masculine scented soap, his cologne.
She almost tearfully said she did, indeed, miss his scent.

Time to break out the Man Candle!!!

When I find something good, I love to share it.

I went to her lovely home later that day where I gave her one of my precious Man  Candles. She looked at it, doubtfully. I encouraged her to pop the lid off and smell it!
She did so.
Yup! She seemed to love it as much as I did!

Mmmmm Man Candle!

It's been a few years since then. I'm down to my last Man Candle, it's burned half way down, so, I burn it sparingly. Colonial Candle discontinued the scent. There is a Mahogany Leather scented candle, while it's a nice scent, it's missing something.
I tried making my own version of the Man Candle. It was still lacking something.
Maybe the candles are actually made with man-bits? Maybe, the candle makers ran short of donations of man-bits? idk.

As a way to "get my fix", I buy yummy scented men's cologne to spritz around, obtaining the desired scent.

Afterall ~
Why buy the whole candle when all I need is a spritz or two. 

David

As a child, I did more playing outside by myself or with a friend or even with Barbie dolls. 
Television. 
Meh. 
There was one huge behemoth of a TV when I was in my teenage years and I would have to fight to be able to watch the show of my choosing. There were six kiddos, mom & dad and me. That would have been quite a fight! I'm a lover, less of a fighter.

Just now, I'm realizing that there is so much that I missed, or did I really miss much at all? 
Once I left my parents home to go to military training, still, at my first military base, there was more desire for the beach & sunshine than there was for a TV. 
I was living in Honolulu, Hawai'i!!!
My GM Executive uncle had several nick names for a TV.

The idiot box
The boob tube
Brain Rot Central
Addiction in a box


He had a degree from M.I.T. as well as a cushy career, he must be right. 

Just as I had done, as a child, I spent more time outdoors than I did indoors. I was a bit of a book lover. The time I spent in my barracks room was spent either sleeping or reading with the occasional hosting of tame, nearly alcohol free parties.

It's only been lately that I have taken much of an interest in TV shows. tbt ~ semi catching up on shows that were aired from the time I was 12 - 18.

WOW!

Seriously, I still benefited more from being outside than I would have if I had vege'd out in front of the TV.

Lately, I have seen a bit of coverage of a show called, 
"The Partridge Family", aka "The Partridges".

Have you heard of it? Have you seen it? Did you watch it in your parents home? In your own home?

I heard bits & snippets of it from the other students at school. I remember my cousins had magazines with cheesy names such as, "Tiger Beat", or "16 Magazine" with a photo of David Cassidy on the cover. 
He was so dreamy! So gorgeous!

His shag haircut, large radiant smile, angelic expressive eyes. Yeah, he was a hottie.
His public persona was a façade.

His father, Jack Cassidy, was an alcoholic serial cheater, womanizer ~ everything that David, his son, loathed about him. David hated this, he slowly became just like dear ole dad!

Jack used his off the charts confidence, charisma, fame and access to any and all of the round the clock sex, alcohol, drugs he could handle. As it turns out, Jack had a high tolerance as did his son, David.
Jack died at the young age of 49. David died at age 67. Too young!

Being a person who is very curious, I looked into this when it caught my attention. 
As woo-woo as this may seem, when anyone or anything catches my attention, I feel that it caught my attention for a reason.
So, most often, I investigate.

In later interviews, David, revealed his drinking, drugging, sexual escapades from age 19 - 50. He lived every man slut's dream life.
David seems to have gotten his good looks from his mother while he had more facets of his father's personality.
David's parents, Jack & Evelyn. They divorced when David was in single digits in age.

David, at 19 with his mother, Evelyn.

He was really hot looking to most people, especially teen age girls. They mistakenly believed that he was, in real life, the squeaky clean character, Keith Partridge, who he played on the hit series.

He was the polar opposite. That which is candy to our eyes can sometimes also be poison to our souls.

David was actually most girl's nightmare. A liar, a cheater, druggie, alcoholic, sleep-around charismatic player with the advantage he had. He used his fame, charisma & hot looks to have sex with well over 500 legal age girls, women, all at his disposal 24/7/365. His co-star, Susan Dey was barely 16 when David was 19. Susan was a New York model, very shy in person, relatively inexperienced in life, in love, in dealing with men.

She had a strong crush on David Cassidy that was a bit of a torment for her, personally, as David had zero interest in her.

In David's book, he said that after The Partridge Family ended in it's 4th season, he decided to give a dating relationship with Susan, a chance.

In his book, he stated that Susan was not his type. That she was not like the slutty women he was attracted to. Maybe, if he had changed his "type" it could have saved him from himself.

No one can continue with this precarious lifestyle without it taking it's eventual toll on the mind & body.

By the time David was 47 he looked more like he was 77. From his drinking & drugging he was diagnosed with early onset dementia, a couple years before he died from dementia & organ failure. His last spoken words were, according to his daughter, Katie, who was at his bedside when he died:

"So much wasted time."

Indeed.

You may ask, "Why, this subject for this blog entry?"

You may ask. Here is your answer.

I am average in looks & fine with it. Being average in looks keeps most predatory males away. Not pretty enough to be noticed, not homely enough to repulse the predators. Well above average in intelligence, curiousness, spiritual awareness, even sex drive.

It may seem vain or maybe not. I don't care, either way. 

It's a closely held practice of mine to take very good care of myself, body, mind, spirit. It's an intrinsic part of who I am. 

The reason I'm writing this blog entry is that, I have SOME of the same bad habits that was the downfall of David Cassidy. 

Nothing scandalous here, folks. I don't sleep around. Illegal drugs & substances are unappealing to me along with their health threat.

However, I DO love my alcohol and I make no secret about it. The reason for this blog entry is that I can see, from the later in life photos of David, the toll that his sexcapades, alcoholism, substance abuse, improper rest, took on his physical as well as mental health.

My choice is usually Jameson Whiskey or Pinnacle Vodka. One shot or drink falls short of the enjoyment, an entire bottle in a sitting is more common than not.

I'm no longer going there.

David is not a good example to follow. He is more of a horrid warning of what can happen from his vices carried to the extreme. David was only the second oldest of his Partridge Family co-stars. He is outlived by all of them. He is nearly unrecognizable as the heart throb he once was.

PEEPS!

I take care of myself (I know I already said that). It's a daily practice to drink as close to 1 gallon of water as I can, every day.

I eat a lot of raw or lightly steamed cruciferous, veggies. Green leafy veggies such as spinach, arugula, cabbage, brussels sprouts. My protein intake is lean unadulterated protein.

I take in natural supplements, vitamins, fish oil etc. daily.

Drinking copious amounts of alcohol can easily negate whatever benefit these practices would yield.

Many may view it as too much work or unnecessary, however, I enjoy my skin care regimens & practices. Essential oils, occasional facials, micro-current facials + more.

YES!

I, actually enjoy doing this, seeing it as an investment in skin health. Maybe a bit of vanity is involved. I will simply own it!

The regrets David expressed as he lay dying in a hospital bed are so tragic. The photos of David Cassidy's ruined health & obliterated good looks in the aftermath is enough to convince me to give up the spirits I enjoyed.

I say this in the past tense. 

It's already done.