Happiness Within

Happiness ~ One of the most basic states of being while also eluding so many people.

I have, personally listened to many single people who seem to dwell on their single self. Many believe that if they find their person to share their life with, they will be happy.
Many people also seem to believe that it's intrinsic to their happiness to be coupled up aka the urge to merge! 😁

Then, there's the flip side of those who have found their person. At first, it's wonderful, exciting, pure bliss. When said person sees that being in a couple with "their person" takes work? Many give up, have little desire to do the work while others are willing to do whatever it takes to keep their blessed union together.

Some people will stay with their person because they have children, property, pets, financial assets. Some people are simply paralyzed into staying right where they are from fear of being alone.
All of these are the wrong reasons to stay together.

Several coupled up people who I have detailed or semi-detailed knowledge of, work at staying together because, well, they love each other.
Long after the sexual excitement has faded, the child bearing years have passed, the children are adults, the dogs & cats have died, they stay together.
One common theme I have observed in these happily married couples?
Some people are committed to making their spouses' happiness as a priority. When they have a decision to make, they consider how it will impact their spouse, their relationship.
The ones who are still married, a bit miserable, infidelity is present, they are married, yet, either never were or no longer are committed.

There is a stark difference between married & committed or simply married. It's on paper, they had the suit & pretty dress party, yet, the work to keep the full blush on remains null.
Over the years, the commitment, the love dissipates. Many will stay together out of fear of financial loss, fear of being alone.

Myself? 
I was completely committed when I was married. I made his happiness my first consideration. 
He made his own happiness his first consideration. 
Over time, his lies, flirting constantly with other women right in front of me, my desire to be with him was eroded away. The females that he had affairs with while on temporary duty in Germany, that was the bitter pill that killed. I listened, during a late night phone call, as these lovesick females begged me to get him to go back to Germany to be with them, it gave me so much deep pain.
I was done. 

Since then, I have done a great deal of work on myself. 

PEEPS!

It has been real work. Possibly, labors of love. Self love to do so much work on myself that I could feel happy within myself, happiness that simply is. It's derived from the scent of fresh cut grass, beautiful music, the sweat from a workout, completing a creative work of art, traveling to beautiful places.
The happiness I have can sometimes be temporarily tinged with the sadness of the passing of a loved one. A person or a pet.

Since I have true, lasting happiness within, the sadness is experienced as temporary. It dissipates, happiness returns.
Balance is restored.

A few years back, I was that sad single girl who, almost desperately sought to have a guy in my life, I can admit this.
After so much heartbreak, I arrived at this epiphany! 
Happiness that only depends upon me, is lasting happiness. Anyone or anything that comes into my life, is an addition to happiness, yet, won't be predicated on that person or thing.
Things can break, deteriorate, become lost or stolen. People can decide they no longer want to stick around or betray, or hurt the one they claim to love.
Self love & happiness within will remain when it is only dependent upon happiness within. 
Anything or anyone entering my life is a bonus.

To be clear, I am no angel. I have made mistakes that negatively impacted the lives of others. Mistakes for which I bear regret.
Living, learning, vowing to be a better person, to help more than hurt others. It's been a journey.
This journey has made me a better person.
Would I do things in the way that I did, years ago? 
Most likely, I wouldn't.
There was, most definitely, a high personal price I paid.

In present day, life is good. All of my needs are met. Remaining happy within is a state of being for me. 
Helping others when I can.
Have I been taken advantage of when I helped others?
Yep. 
Yet, I knew exactly what was going on.
Did I go back in and help them, again ?
Nope.

The main principle is to live, learn, be happy.

I know exactly what I bring to the table, I am unafraid to eat alone.

If you won't help someone, at least, refrain from hurting them.

Peace out.