Go On A Journey With me

 Get comfortable, laying on your floor or bed.

Close your eyes, breathing deep to the count of in 1- 2 - 3 - 4

Hold it, 1 - 2 -3 - 4

Slowly breathe out 1 - 2 - 3 - 4

Repeat four times.

Now, you have packed your needed belongings.

In your mind or if possible, whisper.

I am not in my body; my body is in me.

Feel it, repeat the breathing exercise.

You are getting ready.

More breath, exercise your diaphragm.

Say, whispered or in your mind, I am not in this room, this room is in me. 

Imagine you are expanding to contain the room.

Feel it as you expand.

Do more breathing exercises in between.

Say, I am not in this house, this house is in me.

Pause to feel it.

Say, I am not in this town, this town is in me.

Next.

I am not in this state, this state is in me.

You're on your way.

Feel yourself expanding to hold what is in you as you expand.

You're expanding.

Say to yourself, I am not in this country, this country is in me.

Feel yourself expanding to hold all that you have, all that is in you.

Expand.

Say to yourself I am not in this planet; this planet is in me.

Let yourself feel the expansion.

Say, I am not in this solar system, this solar system is in me.

Feel yourself expand to care for, to contain what is in you.

More breaths in & out for 20 breathing cycles.

Let yourself feel it as you return to feeling your body in you.

*************************************************

To do this, breath as well as breath control is very important. The first time I heard of this, it seemed very intriguing along with impossible. I had bought a boxed set of philosophical CDs by Deepak Chopra. Although hearing an East Indian accent is less than appealing to me, Dr Chopra's voice had such pleasant inflections. It was so smoothe like soft butter. Very smoothe while still retaining a masculine quality to it that I love. As a polyglot, a linguist by profession; vocal inflections, vocal quality, cadence of speech, all matter a lot to me.

Several years ago, I had an employer who was smokin' hot to me until I heard him speak. UGH. As attractive as he was, his voice, the inflections when he said certain words turned me off!

I guess that's a good thing.

When I lived in Europe, it was such a rich treat to hear the different people speaking different languages all around me. I had a neighbor just one floor above me in a stairwell apartment building. To anyone else he seemed to be native to Deutschland, he spoke the language. German is one of the languages I speak.

As I was conversing with him, one day, I heard some inflections that were atypical of the German language. Not wanting to offend him or seem like I was getting too personal, I listened intently, trying to figure out what the inflection was. 

He was a very kindly man, a good neighbor, it was best to bide my time instead of risking that courteous relationship. Although I got my mail at the military APO, he received his mail at his apartment occasionally. One day, several envelopes along with a small parcel were mistakenly left at my door. The mail was addressed to my upstairs neighbor. 

I wanted to make sure that going upstairs to his apartment could be viewed as innocent. I took 2 of my children with me. When he came to the door, he seemed surprised. He appeared to be single & living alone as far as I could tell. He asked us to come in. He went to a cupboard, brought out some cookies for my children.

Such a kind man.

He and I spoke German to each other as he thanked me profusely for delivering his mail to him. It was then that I noticed a large flag that was not German, displayed proudly on his living room wall. I told him that his flag looked good on his wall. That's when I he told me that he had been born & lived his childhood in Malta!

BINGO

Having never known or spoken with or even heard someone speaking Maltese, that was the inflection I heard. 

Shortly after that, military housing had an opening, so, I moved there.

I sure missed my kindly neighbor.

Ugly Truths About Being an Adult in 2023

As if this were so far from common knowledge, lol, here it is in black & white text. Ask any child who is new enough to the world, just barely aware of what goes on in the world, questions about life, they will usually be more positive than most people over the age of 21.

By age 21, many people have had a small taste of some of the hard knocks in life.

By the time a person is 21 they are of adult age though some are at different levels of experiencing different levels of maturity. People will age into being of adult age. It happens naturally.

Being a mature, self-supporting adult by age 21 is by far, different from simply being of adult age. 

By age 21 a person can serve in the military, vote in elections, be charged as an adult for crimes they are involved in. They can legally buy liquor, tobacco products, get married without parental consent. 

In most states in the USA, a person can legally buy a house, a car, make many legal decisions on their own by age 18. In Alabama & Nebraska the age of majority is 19. In Mississippi the age of majority is 21.

You knew this already, right?

If you were unaware, Google knows just about everything. You may get bombarded with information & ads you could live without. 

Live dangerously. Ask Google. Do an online search. Pick your poison, lol, start your search engines.

As I have moved through time, flowing like a river sometimes, paddling hard under the surface at other times. There are also the occasional white-water rapids of life, which try the soul. Navigating the rapids can be tricky. When a hypothetical crash & burn happens, it's oh so heavy.

At first moving through it all can be so much fun. The world is wide opened with age-appropriate opportunities in abundance.

The opportunities are there, just stay alive, grab each one.

In a world which worships youth, more people will want to help you in your younger years than in your older years.

Moving through time because getting older is optional, people will give you more chances. They will also be more forgiving when/if you make a mistake.

Everyone wants well trained employees, few people will take the time, the patience to train a new employee. Firing them is easier.

Little by little the realization hits that those opportunities become scarcer with longer gaps in between. This is the onset of the realization that you will have to start creating your own opportunities. Push yourself, take doo-doo from those who dish it out. It's exhausting, frustrating, discouraging, very trying.

This is the birth of the phrase:

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

The same peeps also get scars & meds. They get access to prescription anti-depressants, antianxiety. The fire of learning is real!

It burns. 

To succeed at adulting, you must walk through the fire.

Once you have walked through the fire, navigated a world of predatory people, gotten your share or more lumps. That is when the fun stuff starts. Along with shouldering the responsibility, the freedom of doing as you wish, within reason, is such a rush!

Some people get knocked so hard they have difficulty coping.

The pitfalls of addictions can seriously damage & delay just about anyone. I could list the many pitfalls, most of us know of them personally, or from witnessing them, all too well.

Additionally, the risks of coupling up with another person whether romantically or otherwise can damage even the most intelligent people. Female people are more susceptible to damage from other people, particularly from guys.

This is not sexist or feminazi bla bla. The statistics say it all. Only women can become preggo which is a huge impact on them for the rest of their lives.

Firmly, I believe that if every guy had to biologically become preggo, before he could ever have sexual intercourse, there would be far fewer teen pregnancies. If they had to carry the child to full term, give birth & be responsible for that child for the rest of the child's life, oh my!

Yeppers, the population might decrease. If guys had to experience the multiple changes, discomfort. Feeling the pain & life altering for themselves, knowing how much it affects women, they might, just might refrain from seed spreading. 

If you are of adult age, a fully self-supporting adult who has navigated the pitfalls with minimal damage ~ 

You can proceed to get down wit your bad thelf!

Shake, rattle, roll, be like a pineapple! Google it.

Wrapping up, I can tell you that the rewards are so sweet, so fun, so satisfying, so worth it. VICTORY LAP.

Sleeping

Remembering a hand I was holding

Tender thoughts I had

Of a new life unfolding

Memories that comfort me

Of the days ahead

All the possibility

Letting my soul release

Pain filled regrets

All of these

Strength has a way

To heal a broken heart

Making it all okay

I'll let myself drift into sleep

Dropping down

So soft so deep

If I dream of sad things

Munching on my soul

The sadness it brings

Lucid dreaming saves

Such a vulnerable one

Gives happiness in waves

Letting myself have dreams

Asleep or awake

Nothing is as it seems

Maybe I'll live through my slumber

To fight another day

Ones strong in number

It's how I can live

This double life

With so much to give

Sleep is like dying

Without the commitment

Refreshing to keep trying

My car is in the shop

Time to get busy

Make use of a new mop

My prayer is if I pass on

I'll be found in a clean house

In clean white sheets of cotton

According to Coldplay

We are skies full of stars

Shining night & day

I think I saw you

In a blanket of blue

I want to die in your arms

Bathe naked in bliss

Drink in all your charms

I gave you all of my heart

Though it's broken

You only played your part

Though you're near

Still so far away

Kiss my face like a tear

I know you feel

The loss of me

It seemed so real

Put your dam phone

In a grave

Just leave it alone

A hundred years or more

Loving people using things

Is what life is really for

Using people is done more

Than most admit

Selfish to the core

If people in their graves

Could tell us a truth

It's kindness that saves

Christmas is fast approaching, give someone this gift. Your kindness will ripple through time, touch so many lives. Get to it!

 

Spoiler: This is raw

Never would I have ever believed that time would bring to be, that which it is in present day. 

That my children would go off on their own, seemingly forgetting all of my time, work, sacrifice for them. 

The father of my 4 children taught them that I was of little value, unworthy of respect by the way he treated me. Most likely my children don't even realize that their father taught them this, it's so obvious to me as well as a few other people.

That I would have my dream career fall into my lap. It felt so surreal as I began to realize a dream career, coming true.

That I would have more freedom, money, adventures than ever! The 1000 mile+ solo road trips give me such a feeling of freedom.

That I would become so successful, so fulfilled beyond what I had ever thought was possible.

As I drove to Ohio from Texas, then, up to Michigan, I felt so free!

As someone who believes in being mostly a good, kind, compassionate person, I know I'm not an angel. I do keep in my mind to do the right thing as much as possible. Sometimes doing the right thing is to teach other people a lesson when they either treat me badly, causing me deep emotional pain or if they try to. In the past, if a man was playing with a woman's emotions, her male kinfolk would deal with the one who was hurting her so much. In today's world, sometimes they still do, though the penalty they may face is far harsher. The players will keep on playing, not being held accountable for their wrongful actions.

People can be wonderful, kind, exciting, caring, creative, humorous, adventurous.

People can, as well as often are, unkind, selfish, racist, not caring if their actions hurt you. 

At the least, caring very little if their actions hurt you as long as they are getting what they want.

When I was in the dating world, after being deeply wounded by the actions of others, I started to retaliate. It was legal, nonlife - threatening.

When someone hurt me, usually a guy, I started dealing an equivalent of pain to them that they had callously, selfishly, dealt to me.

Did it feel good?

Hell, yes!

Was it right? 

That depends on your personal definition of what is right.

Was it legal?

Absolutely.

Was it painful to the one who had purposely hurt me?

Yeppers!

Did I feel any guilt?

Very little & much later on if at all.

There are phrases that apply to this ~

Karma

Just deserves.

What goes around comes around.

What you deal to others will be dealt to you.

If I had continued, hoping to meet just one decent single guy whom I could have a meaningful connection with, I would most likely still be going through the same stuff. SSDD.

Also, had I refrained from retaliating, the same ones would still flit into my life then ghosting when they got their jollies. 

For the ones that I refrained from, I learned a neural technique which gave me the gift of wiping them from my memories.

When the realization became a mighty presence in my heart & mind, I realized that my time & energy would be best when it was used in other ways besides dating.

Therefore, I stopped.

So, where did the energy I had been putting toward dating go? 

What energy was that?

The energy, time, thought I put into dating was to perfect my hair do from a hair don't. Not just the hair on my head, not just eyebrows & eyelashes. 

If you guessed that it included pits, legs & pubes, BINGO! It was all for me to feel good, feel prepared, put together. I knew it wasn't going to be seen by anyone else, it was purely for me. Guys who would ask me to just go out for a drink or a cup of whatever, instantly got a "no thanks". I could feed myself, so it wasn't about money, or someone else paying my way. It was more about the preparations I would put into getting ready for a date.

Putting the prep time into getting ready ~ for just a drink?

Nope.

I was fine with paying for my own, maybe his, too.

Where did the energy go?

The laws of physics state that when one substance goes out, another will come in to replace it. When water is poured into a glass, it replaces the air that it pushes out. Simple. It's physics.

Peeps, my energy level that I have now, I have always had. It was said to me that I should enjoy my off the charts energy level while I could.

That it would diminish with time. 

Let me check on that aka hold my lemonade! (not beer).

Yupp, ha ha! Still there, still going strong.

The energy I had put toward dating went into traveling, it went into working out, it went into finishing projects I had started so long ago.

Also, I began going to bed earlier, to get more sleep & truthfully practice lucid dreaming. That's a whole different blog topic.

The crux of the situation is, I began living for me. Life became better slowly. I could say it became better instantly, or overnight. That would be exaggeration, almost misleading. 

Life did become better, though. I became much more at peace, much happier. 

The fulfillment of finishing projects was exhilarating! The possibility of even entering a few in a state fair is exciting. 

Becoming more fit with time was also a big benefit. Unfortunately, when faux-vid19 hit, I gained a bit of weight, it's a challenge to take it off. 

Challenge accepted; I'm winning!

For any of you ladies out there, who are struggling with dating. The losers, liars, cheaters, narcissistic creeps, ghosters out there are a waste of your time, your energy. The little pieces of your life that are frittered away will add up.

Live for you.

Take care of you.

Allow yourself to shine.

Allow yourself to adjust to being single & celibate. Stop fighting this adjustment, you will find a peace in your life that you may have imagined was possible. Maybe even felt at some point before. When you (male or female) allow this adjustment, you will no longer need another person to be happy. 

You will become a person who is healthier, happier, stronger in spirit than you have ever been.

I know what I bring to the table, am fine with eating solo.

If someone else is there, fine. If it's me, by myself, fine.

Either way, I'm happy. You will become happy, too.

If you are already happy, it will magnify.

'Tis The Season to Hack Your Life

Parmesan cheese lids fit canning jars

 

When you need AA batteries & you only have AAA. Metal foil to the rescue!

Put a packet of silica in your salt shaker or any spices if you live in an area with high humidity. It keeps it from clumping.

Make a black & white or sepia tone memory jar from your favorite photos or use as a table decoration at a wedding reception or anniversary party. Can also be a great friendship gift.

Or use a color photo, just as personal & way cool.

Shoe caddies can also store other things. In the pantry.

To corral childrens toys for an easier way to store toys.

Barbies - Barbies - Kens - Kens

Laundry room storage hang on the inside. Close the door. *poof*

For those of you who enjoy cooking, try this to somewhat minimize cleaning up afterward. Having done this, I can tell you it works.

For my BLT loving readers!

Today, I hope at least one of these made your life a bit easier.

Are you dealing with depression?

In today's world of the hustle culture, people constantly brag about how busy they are. They are so busy - busy - busy.

So busy, they are human doings.

They have forgotten how to be human beings.

There are shameless serial cheating people who love things while using other people. Dealing with depression is a sad part of life for so many people. Possibly it's a direct result of these delightful aspects of the times we live in. 

What is your experience with depression?

Here is mine.

To me, depression is a foul smelling, slimy, ugly beast that waits by my bedside for me, to deal discouragement, self-loathing, along with a cocktail of sadness, regret, motivation crushing. It's served up on a bed of something I REALLY hate.  Eggplant parm. Ick!

Depression, when served on anything would still rate as ick.

Many people struggle with depression with or without meds to cope. Having used the meds at one time, my experience of feeling like a robot or non-brain eating zombie is something I choose to do without. Coping in other ways is a personal preference.

Sometimes I use sleep as way to escape when it's possible. Feeding myself happy suggestions as I drift into sandman territory, it gives such pleasant dreams with a renewed sense of hope when I awaken.

It used to be so astonishing to people who would phone me at 1500 or sometimes 1900, hearing me answer with a quality of sleepiness in my voice. 

When the cares of life become overly heavy to bear. Sometimes when the sadness of an event or even having terrible menstrual cramps gets too painful, preparing for a night of rest helps no matter how early in the day.

There is a healing property in ocean water. The benefit has been touted for a millennium or longer. Obviously, due to the geography of where I currently call home, going to the ocean to prep for beddy bye to escape depression or soothe the baby maker is an impractical option. As an alternative, a soak in warm water in a bathtub with a generous amount of sea salt is the next best.

After soaking for 20 minutes or so, a cool rinse feels good. Stepping out of the tub, slipping on comfy nightclothes, twisting my blonde hair up into a loose top knot, secured with one large pin. Oh, the benefit of having finely textured tresses. 

All it takes to hold my locks up is one large pin. It keeps stray strands from finding their way to snake themselves down my throat as I sleep.

When going to bed very early is impractical, working on a needlework project helps though it's second best. A bare minimum of one hour does it, 2 -3 hours is better. With needle, fabric, thread in my hands, time goes by so fast. Watching the beautiful design developing is so rewarding. TAKE THAT! Depression.

There are other ways that the sadness can creep in with the absence of a reason. It's been an important part of personal growth for me to find ways to keep the dang dragon away. Methods I use might help others or they might give others inspiration to find their own way.

Traveling is one of the pleasures in life that I love. Domestic or international, I love to travel. Being a polyglot helps with international travel. The enrichment of seeing new sights, meeting different people, breathing different air, it's a thrill! 

Something that I love to do while on a road trip is to do 1 - 4 RAKs for people who seem to need it. It can be something very simple, can involve lucre or something similar. It seems to add elements of meaning & purpose to my travels.

Upon returning from a trip, it seems, it's when I'm most vulnerable to depression.

Yes - Yes it's nice to be home, even comforting to sleep in my own bed. Even if I have music playing or a long flik, the ring of silence in the air is still there. It just hangs there like a layer of fog.

After my recent solo road trip to Ohio, Michigan, meeting my sister in Mackinaw City, then going to Mackinac Island together on the ferry, it was so magical. We went to the Somewhere in Time weekend at The Grand Hotel. It was a dream fulfilled, for me. Having my sister with me made it even better.

This is a Mackinac Island taxi. No cars are allowed on the island. The Grand Hotel is in the background.

Having beautiful flowers delivered shortly after returning was lovely. The cost of sending an arrangement to myself or to others is similar in price to ordering tuberose leis from the Hawaiian Lei Company. The scent is so uplifting, intoxicating. 

Something I started doing was to order flowers to be delivered within 2 days of returning. If ordering flowers delivered is infeasible, a $5 - $10 bouquet from your local grocers will do.

Just having the flowers in the house is such a pleasure. The scent of tuberose wafting in the air, the life infused scent of greenery. It's so refreshing, so comforting to my soul.

Another remedy for depression is to take a daily walk if you can. It's such a simple thing which does so much. Take a walk on different routes every day. A long walk or a short walk. A minimum of 30 minutes seems to work best for most people.

Another simple solution that has helped me is to read. Yes, actual paper & ink books. Foregoing the electronic sorts is better. As so many people are less interested in actual paper & ink pages, the books are being donated to thrift stores, sold for .10 in yard sales by the boxfuls. Entire generations will miss the scent of aging paper in books right along with learning to write in cursive.

Cutting down on clutter, I borrow books from the library, now. Sometimes, I will buy a book if it's newly authored, one I will enjoy.

Have you ever walked by a bakery or even baked a loaf or four of bread in your home? The aroma is so unique. It's possible to buy a candle or room spray or some such form of fragrance. You can.

Ain't nothing like the real thing.

Smelling that aroma is wonderful, I give the bread to others so that I get the scintillating whiff in my home, others get the calories.

Yes, depression is such a heavy condition to live with. Having stopped going to conventional doctors, long ago. the shaman I trust to help me when I encounter the rare health issue, made a very helpful tea from what he grows in his green house. He developed it for me, personally, after some bloodwork. 

All ingredients are legal in every state, just so you know. It does relieve the symptoms of depression as long as I use it sparingly. Using it more than thrice weekly, my system will adapt, it's effect weakens.

As a history buff, I find Queen Marie Antoinette fascinating. She was very sheltered, sent off to France from Austria at the tender age of 14, married soon after that to someone who was still such a boy in a good way! Neither of them knew about sex or what to expect or what they were expected to do or how babies are made.

Marie Antoinette was a bit spoiled, catered to. A parfum was created for her by the house of Lubin. It was named The Queens Garden in the nose nod to La Petit Trianon at Versailles. The parfum was brought back recently, the house of Lubin is still making perfume. The name of it is Black Jade & yes, I was able to procure some.

There are also combinations of herbs to create the tea that Marie Antoinette loved. It's very unique, delicately flavored. I have it.

It's so nice to have friends in French places.

Here's hoping that these suggestions might help. Be willing to do research, find what works for you.

Hold

On

Pain

Ends

Cutest Alarm Clock Ever

 

Parents who love luv wub wuve wuv their babies will tell the world how adorable their baby is. How they are clueless as to how they ever got to enjoy life & baby making before their adorable little alarm clock was born. 

Babies, well, most babies are so cute. Their birth totally changes their parents. Nursing mothers can sometimes feel that junior is sucking their brains, blood & energy out through their milk makers.

Mommy hopes the napping stage takes a year or five to dissipate. Daddy just wants more sleep than they have ever wanted before or at least more nights of sleeping all night than the interrupted ones.

~ This baby is lucky to be so darn cute.

~ Before 5 am, he/she is your baby.

~ Can we teach him/her to make their own breakfast

~ Let's just keep the baby in bed with us so we can stay in bed all night.

~ This must be revenge wished on me by my mom/dad/parents.

~ I love my child. I love my child. My child is so cute 

(cutest when sleeping soundly for at least 6 hours)

~ First Christmas? I'm broke from buying everything else.

~ The baby has been sleeping so long, all is well, I hope!

This stage only lasts so long. Shorter for some, longer for others.

The first baby is often the costliest.

Their needs are so drastically different from the needs of mom & dad. They are so new that their baby skin is so tender. A detergent that's fine for mommy & daddy can irritate a baby's skin. The slightest bit of irritation can turn a happy baby into a red faced, howling boss baby! A slight diaper rash or a nappy that is too tight. The boss must be happy if everyone in the house is to be happy.

AKA Be quiet or babysit.

As your darling little alarm clocks time rolls, crawls, walks then runs forward. Their needs are continually changing. The first couple years since birth are the real test of financial preparedness, patience, relationship strength etc. Parents get a slight reprieve soon after their child learns to use the toilet during the day. A true test of many parents is when the child also learns to get up to go to the toilet if awakened by a call of nature during the night.

I could expound on this so much.

Eventually your progeny(ies) will be able to walk, talk, go to school, become so educated academically or otherwise. They will begin to believe they know more than their parents. 

Before that, your darling will view you like a wealthy one with nearly unlimited resources. They are like a broke little friend who depends on you, trusts you, takes heed from your words to them.

At times, your child, as they grow into the teenage years. A wonderful cocktail of hormone surges, voracious appetites that are often sated by fast food or junk food. 

Franken food for monsters.

As a parent you may see the glimpses of the little baby along with the promise of a bright future they are headed for.

Live with them in the moment, if they are in a mood to talk to you other than asking for money or stuff, drop whatever you're doing, within reason of course.

It's one of those rare times that you may long for in later years.

Then there's the briefer mostly one-sided conversations.

~Why did you even have me.

Right or wrong, I try to smooth it over with humor.

~ I didn't know it would be you, I hoped for someone with a job.

Ridiculous answer to an impertinent question.

~ Did I ask to be born. No, I didn't.

~ It would have been H - E - double hockey sticks for your mother if you just stayed in there.

Then, there's parental peer pressure.  

~ My friends parents let them play video games all night & let them stay home from school if they are too tired.

Now, it was time to give a softer approach.

~ If you're going to go & live with them, I would miss you forever, cry for months.

~ Really, just months?

~ Yes. At least 36.

~Aww, I'm good, I'll stay.

~ I'm so glad, now, please go clean your room.

If you have taught your child life skills, they will either go out into the world, move out on their own.

Or

They will remain in the nest, make quite good cooks, home cleaners, company that you enjoy whom you can usually trust.

In time, when your child may become of adult age, living in their own domicile, making a fair wage. You will sometimes hear from them less & less, seeing them even less often than once per year.  They may have their own money, maybe a spouse, a couple kidlets of their own. 

They don't actually need you for much. 

In some instances, your child might get offended by things you do or say which you have done or said since the day they were born. All of a sudden, you, as their parent are wrong & offensive.

The win - win version is that you can be yourself, you can talk with your former "alarm clock" except there's less alarm. You can have that beautiful, comfortable give and take with someone you have lifelong history with. Sometimes it happens naturally as you both grow, change, mature, realize that time is a sea that can sometimes be rough, sometimes smooth. 

It's how we adjust our sails that determines the journey.