Away in a Small Town, No Thanksgiving For me

It's Thanksgiving Day, November 26, 2020.

The people who had invited me to their home canceled. So, I went into coping mode. 

"People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." Mark Twain aka Samuel Clemens.

It's different than I would choose, to spend the day, if I could choose, yet, it's what I have. Treating the day as if it were any other day makes a big difference.

I am a pariah, living in a small town. 

The one person I used to spend a lot of time with won't be available any longer, so, this is it. Many people will say that they would love it if they could just be alone, all the time. These same people also depend heavily upon others, so, most likely, they could not handle it even if they think they could.

Be careful what you wish for.

It takes a lot of adjusting, developing a way to cope, becoming more self sufficient, to be able to live happily single & alone by choice. Having always been a free spirit, it works well for me. Maybe, I simply make it work.

Maybe.

The stores were still opened when T-Day plans were canceled. I went out, bought a small turkey. I made foods tailored to my healthy lifestyle. Sweet potato mash with macadamia nuts is my favorite. A spinach avocado salad with a home made vinaigrette dressing.

Having pre-made a couple pies, I took a slice out of one, put the rest in the freezer along with the other whole one. What I really wanted to do was eat a whole one. Nope, I refrained.

Using more self restraint, I REALLY wanted to buy some wine or vodka & drink myself silly. (I'm silly after 1 or 2 glasses.)

Nope.

I made cranberry water, instead. A very simple recipe that has become my "go to" drink. Just fresh, whole cranberries, in the Nutri- Bullet with water & honey. Deeeee-lish!

As I looked online for a translating assignment, I found a huge document, submitted my consent to translate it. Eating slowly as I translated the document, it somewhat eased the pain. It helped me to disregard what day it was as page after page after page rolled on.

When the translating job was finished, a friend I have known since childhood, who lives in Ohio, phoned me. It was nice to talk at the end of the day. It was nice to hear a friendly voice, to talk with someone that I have such long history with. Someone who knows me well & still loves me!

Rounding out the day with the newest episode of Star Trek: Discovery while enjoying working on a needlework design. It was far from a traditional Thanksgiving. 

Still, I was with someone who loves me (ME!) & I had Star Trek!

The Suicide Season

It's here.

The start of The Suicide Season. This year will be one of the most difficult ones for many people all over the USA as well as the world.

 If you are not a maker of the golden rule, you won't be able to gather with family & friends for the holiday celebrations. Not without scorn or backlash in real life or on social media.

What is "The Golden Rule?"

The ones with the gold are the ones who make the rules that everyone else is expected to obey or face backlash for. If they are not doing as the popular consensus is doing out of blind, sheeple obedience, woe, woe, woe be unto them.

The holidays used to be a happy time for me. I worked my butt off to make sure everyone had what they wanted & needed, to the utmost of my ability. I was doing it by myself, mostly, as the huzz would go to bed, leaving me to work all through the night, alone.

Every year, it was like this.

Now?

My grown children have their families. They don't need me any longer. They have all the money they need. They have all the family they need. They don't need me for anything, now. Either that or they are following like sheeple in blind obedience.

Either way?

The holidays double suck azz for me, this year. Public gatherings for Thanksgiving turkey are cancelled. Public celebrations that I have gone to in the past are on the verge of being cancelled. 

I'm in a small town that I hope to move from in a couple years. If you don't have family here or are not from here or don't have buttloads of cash, you can hang it up, you're nobody.

I tried to fit in for the first 3 years. The people were surface friendly, they held me at arms length. Having been a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (the Mormons) for many years, I had hope that I would be accepted, when I moved to Texas, getting a fresh start.

Nope. I was not accepted, there. I was held at arms length. Finally, after 3 years of hoping to be accepted, it never happened. Members of the Ward would extend a vague invitation for lunch or dinner. Nine times out of ten, there was no firming of plans, there was no follow through. 

I would go home, after church, to cry into my pillow. Every Sunday. 

In addition to the LDS church, at different times, I attended 2 different Baptist churches, a Presbyterian Church. Different churches, same result. People would tell me how their church was "different", that it was more friendly than the others. That's a viewpoint from someone who is on the inside looking out.

Finally?

I gave up.

Having a similar experience with different religions, different churches, it became too painful, so, I stopped trying. There seemed to be a similar trend with dating when I found myself single after ending an abusive marriage.

One negative experience following another until I was sick of trying. The males out there in the world drove the point, into my brain, that males only want sex, nothing else. Males may say it's untrue, however, the actions of the males I met speak more loudly than the words of denial.

The common denominator was me, so, I took myself out of the equation. 

Withdrawing from the dating world while I still believe there are many good men in the world. Life became more peace filled.

Suicide is on the rise, right now, all over the USA, all over the world. It's so palpable. As an intuitive person, I feel it. The heaviness in the air is so strong.

Every year, when I have survived it. Every year that I don't commit suicide, is a frkn miracle to me. As it approaches, I feel it.

If you know someone who has this struggle, if you know of someone who struggles with feelings of hopelessness, reach out to them. COVID and social distancing be damned.

If someone is helped by my blog entry, by laying my feelings out, being vulnerable, when it helps someone, it would be something good.

I'm a Girl

This wrongful practice set in along with the annoying way people would end a statement with "up talk" as if they were asking a question instead of making a statement.

There IS a difference.

On the left, above, there is a female person, on the right is a male person.

If a server or any other person referred to a group of men as "Ladies" or as "Girls." It would be offensive to the men.

Why, then, is it deemed okay to refer to a group of both genders as well as a group of ladies, as "GUYS"?

This simple gaff seems terribly sexist.

Any dictionary definition clearly defines the classification of "GUYS"  as a reference to male personages. So, why is it okay to refer to a group of people who are clearly female as "GUYS"?

Being a proactive person, when this gaff is foisted at me, I will very clearly look down my shirt at my 34 DDs, then, announce something like, "I'm not a guy" or "I just checked, I'm a girl."

I know I am just one person, that it takes time for both correct or annoying practices to be replaced by the next thing.

Just as: 

Ridiculously wide bell bottom pants

Low rise jeans that showed off thongs/underwear

Up talk statements

Eating Tide Pods

These trends died down, much to the relief of many people who saw through to how wrongly ridiculous, the trends were. I am hoping that, in time, people will abandon the sexist trend of referring to ladies as "GUYS", once they regain their senses.

By the same token, it would be equally wrong to begin a practice of referring to a group of mixed company or of men, as "LADIES."

Because I am definitely all female, I hope that, I will eventually be exclusively referred to a girl or a lady or a woman.

Never to be referred to as "a Guy" again.

tyvm 

Genuine

When you meet or "find" someone who is genuine, down to earth, the real deal. Whatever you wish to call it. You have found a treasure. It's important to me to give my best effort to be the same in person as I am online. Many people, having met so many fake people, seriously doubt my sincerity.

People who are very real are becoming increasingly rare.

People who will tell you truths.

People who will be themselves even when it's difficult or unacceptable.

People who have no agenda, hidden or otherwise.

Some celebrity examples of a genuine person? Glad you asked!

Olivia Newton John

Keanu Reeves

Chris Martin (Coldplay)

Sarah Palin

Authentic people are becoming fewer as well as far between, with fakes appearing everywhere.

Having people in my life who I know to be genuine whether I have met them in person or we found each other online, it was a very fortuitous happenstance. 

After my long marriage ended, I found myself living alone for the very first time in my life. A guy I had known only as a friend, came charging toward me when he learned that I was single. 

When he and I met, he knew that I was married, that I was unavailable. I lived near the US Air Force Academy, loved going there to ride the horses at the stables or to walk around the visitors center. It seemed that nearly every time I was walking around the visitors center, he would appear. I knew he was extremely busy with school, he would walk with me for a short time, usually 5 minutes or so.

In actuality, I thought he might be missing his mother!!!

It was quite a surprise when he told me, 2 months after the divorce,  that he had fallen in love with me at first sight.

Wait, what????

He was 20 years younger than me, I only thought of him as a friend.

Our relationship began in earnest. He was so sincere. He made it clear to me that he wanted me to marry him. He bought a beautiful ring for me. White gold with a sparkling pink, heart shaped sapphire. He wanted me to wear it to show that I was taken.

*shock*

He was such a gentleman. His soft Georgia drawl was so charming.

He was only in Colorado on military leave halfway through a deployment. When he had to go back to the Middle East, we messaged each other online, talked for hours via web cam. We talked of future plans. A custom built home in Peach Tree, Georgia, 2 children, a dog, a couple horses. Raise our little family near his family. So happy.

When he was shot down, killed, my world began to unravel. I wanted to die, too. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, it was so severe. I turned to social media sites to fill the lonely hours. I researched ways to commit suicide. 

That's when Peter and I found each other.

I felt a connection to him immediately. He and I messaged each other, traded photos, talked on the phone, on Skype. He wasn't Michael, Peter was his own person. A very genuine, smart, funny, intuitive person. 

The anxiety & depression was still with me until one night, I decided on my suicide method. It seemed that Peter sensed this, the phone rang, it was him. He had seen my last message as a sort of goodbye. The phone stopped ringing, then, it started again. This went on for 20 minutes when, finally I picked the phone up. Peter and I talked for almost 5 hours that night. He talked me out of killing myself.

Peter saved my life.

He and I have never met in person, in real life. He is still a constant presence. We text, sometimes we talk. He wrote a screenplay, even acted in the movie he directed from the script he wrote. I love watching the movie, online! 

Check it out!

Junction - Directed by Peter Garrett 

https://youtu.be/ZPE47ZMYS5w

(you might have to copy & paste)

Maybe, someday, we will meet in person, talk for hours. Solve the worlds problems. Bring about world peace, cure cancer.

Just kidding, yet, I'm sure he and I would always have something interesting to discuss!

In a world of fakes, people will use the "fake a future" method to accomplish their agenda with other people. This insidious practice is so painful for the victims. So much is so artificial, in the world that nearly everyone as well as everything has to be regarded as suspect until it's proven to be otherwise.

It restores a bit of my faith in humanity to meet someone genuine.

Falling in Love

The title of this blog entry can refer to so much!

My aunt May says "People don't fall in love, they fall in horse crap. Most people don't know the difference."

There is so much out there in the world, a person could live in excellent health for a thousand years with still more to discover! Equally true of this, is that there are millions of needlework patterns, designs, colors plus oh! So much more!!!

When life hurts me, I retreat into a respite, taking time to heal. Once I have gotten to the point where the pain has diminished to somewhat of a dull ache? At that point, I know just what it is that can pull me up out of that dark place. Something, not someone. I got myself into that mess, it's my sole responsibility to get myself out.

It's a learning, growing, lessons learned kinda thaaang.

At this stage of healing, I spy a needlework design that pings me.

(In a good way)

Some people will hop from relationship to relationship over and over, hoping to make themselves feel better. Hoping the other person will make them feel whole again. Finding it hard to be alone.

For you people out there, who can't stand to be alone? 

Here's a big warm hug for you. 

I get it, truly, I understand. 

The whole world is 98% set up for twosies. It drives the knife into the hearts of those who have not found their person. Also people who have found their person, yet, still feeling a void. Also, those who thought they found their person only to end up being hurt, disappointed, miserable. Ditto for those who had that person whom they lost into the cruelty of losing them to death.

I get that, too!

The solace for me, is to start a new needlework project. When I see a new design. When I see just the pattern or the completed one, it speaks to my heart. I have to stitch it!

Starting a new project evokes, within me, the exact same feelings of falling in love, in a good way. 

In a safe way.

The beautiful linens are a clean canvas that whispers to me of things yet to be. Endless possibilities of impending beauty. The colors that range from a bright white to a deep rich ebony black. With every hue, every shade of every color you could think of plus a million more that swirl in my mind in a dancing, magical kaleidoscope.

There are sparkling fibers, textured fibers, soft flat colors, shiny colors for a bit of glitz without being bawdy. There are even fibers that glow in the dark in 6 different colors. There are fuzzy fibers to add to Santa's beard or the fluffiness of a sheep or other animals.

There are beads in multiple sizes, colors, shapes. There are even beads that have stripes or tiny flowers painstakingly painted on them.

There are little charms of every shape, color, subject, size, patina, material you could ever imagine. Then?

A million or more in addition to that.

When I begin a project, the serotonin goes way up. The dopamine turns me into a mass of bliss. Steady hands, heart aquiver! As I work, the feeling stays steady. As the design forms, it spurs me on!

Sleep? What's that?

Food? Nah, I'm good.

Water? Maybe a little!

Time? It stands still as I stitch whilst the world marches on.

Having fallen in love with a design, it feels impossible to stop. Many passionate stitchers of that ilk will know the meaning of:

"Just one more stitch!"

turns into

"Just one more row."

turns into

"I'll just finish this section."

turns into

"There's so much of this color, I'll finish the stitches in this color."

turns into

"Wow, 8 pm? NOPE! 8 am!"

Passionate needleworkers everywhere, even passionate crafters can most likely attest to the consuming passion of a creative buzz.

To me?

It feels like I've passionately, safely, fallen in love!

Hey, it's much better than turning to ONS's, drugs, overspending, alcohol or adding one more cat when you already have 20!

It's better to be chartlady than it is to be the catlady.

Unless you're this catlady!

It's all about passion

One aspect of life, for me, that has been consistent is needlework. It's less as a hobby, more of a passion, even an obsession. It's been a joy giving, peace giving, comforting constant presence. The love of needlework has stayed. Friends, lovers, children, family. They have all flitted in then out of my life at different times, different stages.

Love for needlework has remained. 

At times, when the pain of living in the world has stolen my peace, my ability to focus, my albondigas. It was necessary to go on hiatus from needlework. People who know me well, know that if I have taken a break from doing needlework, something in my life has hurt me. 

When I have attempted to stitch whilst in a state of unrest, I screw it up 100 ways til Tuesday! It takes focus, concentration. Believe or disbelieve, those two aspects can be different.

Doing self analysis has been lifelong for me. Constantly having to adjust, then readjust as life swirled around me. Forces of grief at the hands of abusive parents, losing my dear grandfather, losing a younger sister, a brother. The horrors of the dating world when I found myself single again after a long marriage. Like a weeble toy, sometimes I may wobble, might even fall down. 

I GET BACK UP!!

There has to be something to grab onto to pull myself out of whatever rabbit hole has snared me. Can you guess what it is?

Mmm Hmm.

My love, my passion for needlework. The beauty that slowly materializes before my eyes. Like a picture that is so blurred that it's impossible to be able to see exactly what it is. As I stitch, the design begins to appear in colors, patterns, flowers, stars, trees, butterflies.

Little buzzy bees develop wings.

Birdies appear before my eyes with little beaks, graceful wings, brightly colored feathers. Sometimes, a majestic eagle. Sometimes, a beautiful face or a studly figure of a man.

Maybe, it's the satisfaction of stabbing something a thousand times in one day. idk.

Again, people who really know me, also know that though I finish projects, I probably have over 100 in different stages of completion at any given time. Guilty of loving needlework, as charged!

People will also ask me that somewhat annoying question, 

"Do you really need that?"

(Need has zip zero nada to do with it!)

"Why don't you just finish all of them?"

"Why do you have so many?"

"What are you going to do with it?"

"Why do you start so many, then stop?"

The answer to these questions is simple for me. For, I know myself very well. Knowing what drives me, what delights me, what I love!

There are so many extraordinary needlework designers out there, busy people! These people who design the beautiful patterns I love are producing their patterns faster than I can stitch.

BUT I WANT TO!!!!!

Having met two celebrities in the needlework world ~ Alma Lynne ~ a self made needlework designer who was so gracious, so kind! When I went to Myrtle Beach, SC for a needleworkers retreat, I met her. It was the last day of the retreat, I had to pack up to leave my hotel room. I had a late night, the night before, walking on the beach for several hours. I listened to the ocean, felt the cool salt air and spray on my face. I went to bed late, so, I woke up late! I packed quickly, lugged my suitcase into the ball room, found a side room to re-pack in a more orderly manner. Alma Lynne saw me slip into the side room, she entered the room to check on me. 

I COULD NOT BELIEVE MY EYES!

She had the impact of Marilyn Monroe walking through the door!

She was so sweet, so kind, so warm. She helped me re-pack my suitcase, gave me a few tips. I will always remember that magical moment!

When I learned of a Mirabilia Minions Retreat in San Antonio, TX, in May 2018, I felt the same electrical excitement. There is quite a bit more to this, yet, for the sake of brevity, I will say, I went! Meeting Nora Corbett was definitely a dream come true for me. She is an introverted, somewhat quiet person who produces legendary, beautiful designs. Again, Nora Corbett was so warm, friendly, gave her undivided attention to so many people who wanted to talk to her, have photos taken with her. Although the other stitchers were very cliquish, with a snobbish element akin to Junior High? It was still such a joy to be there. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

My favorite design from Nora, which I have personally stitched, is one that reminds me of my son, when he was a baby. I held him, time seemed to stand still. 

Those precious moments are frozen in my heart.

When a gorgeous, intricate design is so fresh from the printers, the needlework community goes into buzz mode. Posting pictures on social media, sending my brain into overdrive!!!!!

The most riveting, the most important part?

Stay tuned.

Accusations & Small Minds in a Small Town

 It's a curious world we live in. Even more curious whilst living in a fish bowl aka a small town. Mmm Hmm.

People have told me many times that I'm far from the usual, that I'm multi faceted, that I'm different from most people. I hope that's good!

The true statement is that I'm curious about everything. My post humous apologies to my parents & school teachers! It must have driven them nuts! I was a shy child so I didn't ask the somewhat annoying "Why?" over & over. Often, I would set upon finding out why, instead of asking others.

Being the sort of child who put my little tongue on a battery to see what would happen. The sort of child who would flit from dandelion to dandelion, placing my thumb along with my forefinger on the sides of a bee to feel it buzz, pulling my hand back quick when the bee seemed like it was about to sting me!

Catching a "buzz", yup, ha ha! A buzz gone bad.

As I grew into an adolescent, then, an adult or at least of adult age, that burning sense of curiosity has stayed with me.

In present day, I am still curious about everything, adventurous, loving exploring. Taking calculated risks can be risky business! 

In a small town, if you are not from there or married to someone who is, if you don't have family here, if you are not married with or without children or fabulously wealthy?

You're toast!

Unless you're nearly the same as most people, you're going to stand out as a proverbial pariah. People will exclude you, ignore you, slap labels on you, make up stories about you so that you are safely figured out. In the minds of the small minded, they have you pegged for their own comfort. Many might also fear you.

Sadly, my own experience has been tinged by all of the above.

1. I am single & celibate by choice. I don't date, definitely don't sleep around, nor do I have any children living with me.

Small town explanation: She's a lesbian.

2. I have limited knowledge of illegal substances such as marijuana, meth amphetamine, cocaine, ecstasy. I had a roomie, a few years back, when I lived in Colorado. The roomie, unbeknownst to me, prior to him moving in, got his income from selling weed. When he moved out, he left behind, a beautiful bright green glass weed pipe. I didn't know what it was, it was clean, pretty, sparkled in the sun. It was packed away when I moved to Texas. When I unpacked, I found it. It was still so pretty. I placed it in the front window which was south facing, it sparkled in the sun. People who saw it, knew what it was, they began to talk about me. Hmm. I wonder how it is that I didn't know what it was, yet, the gossip mongers did. A few people even had the cojones to tell me that, that pronouncement, below, is what I'm pegged as, in this town.

Small town explanation: She's a weed smoking lesbian.

3. Having a burning curiosity about everything, even as an adult can be fun! It can also get a sub label slapped across your forehead. Being less of a religious one, more of a spiritually sensitive person, I don't go to any of the churches in this town. I have my own reasons, one of them being that I believe that organized religion is a more of a construct created to control the masses. It works!

As a spiritual person, I enjoy gathering information about spiritual practices. Practices such as speaking in tongues, LOA, natural ways of being. In this, I use essential oils, exploring whilst not being a practitioner of a metaphysical lifestyle. It's interesting to me.

I know I'm living in the bible belt where you're perceived as somewhat of a bad person if you don't have a home church that you attend. You might also be perceived as Pagan, a Witch, a slut. 

Four people in this town have brought this to my attention.

Explanation: She's a witch as well as a weed smoking lesbian.

Yupp. Ha Ha! I'm toast!

If this were Salem Massachusetts in 1692, I would actually BE toast, as in being burned alive at the stake simply because someone THOUGHT I was a witch. 

Small minds, lol, bless their hearts. 

So, if you will excuse me, I'm going to go make out with my girlfriend while we smoke our weed with my beautiful weed pipe. Then, we might dance in the moonlight, nekkid, casting spells all 

night. (JOKING!)

I Fear For My Country

I have never felt as abandoned & alone as I do, right now

In light of recent events, I truly fear for what the next four years brings. The USA is bound to change in many detrimental ways. For many people, life has become hard. Many people have lost their income, their loved ones, their homes were foreclosed on.

The fabric of their very existence has been unraveled or is becoming unraveled. People have lost many of the pleasures of life that they once had in abundance. Travel is restricted, life celebrations such as weddings, births,  graduations, even funerals.

Many people who provide a service such as hair care, manicure/pedicure, home cleaning, cosmetic procedures. Life saving medical procedures have been delayed. People who have become ill must stay at home until a hospital bed becomes available.

As a minor, I never watched a TV series, "The Twilight Zone" until hearing that the way life has changed, worldwide resembles some episodes of the The Twilight Zone.

Scary!

Scary!

Scary!

Then there is the mask shaming. People who will wear one shame those who won't. Of course this happens mostly on social media.

Chicken-shits

For these reasons plus so much more, I fear for my country, especially the next four years. The only way it could become worse is if the elected president dies. His vice president would, then, live up to the very title endowed by the office she will hold. A vice.

Vice (noun) Immoral or wicked behavior. 

eg - "an open sewer of vice and crime"

For all these reasons plus many more, I fear for my country.

When I have given voice to these concerns, people who are a bit fanatical about their religion will tell me that God has this, there's no need to fear.

If that were true, those same people would not be wearing masks because God will protect them, right?

If this were true, the same people would be more reliant on the powers of heaven to cure them of their illnesses instead of taking multiple medicines.

They live fear motivated lives, then double back to tell others that there is nothing to fear.

When I say, I fear for my country, it's genuine dread of the changes to come. 

It's fear for my many friends & family on active duty military. It's fear for the children, both born as well as unborn who will have to live in "the new normal". 

They, most likely, will not experience the abundance of life, the freedoms their parents did.

With this, said, I will live, finding the silver lining in my day. Listening to beautiful & uplifting music, indulging in my passion for needlework. Continue working long hours to earn the money to eventually live my dream of what I have always wanted for my life.

I have felt a new level of feeling all alone in the world.

Bloggerette Problems

 

People, the struggle is, well, a bit of a struggle. In the uncertain times people are facing in todays world, my problems are simply smaller, more of an annoyance.

It's probably known by most people, as I have been transparent about it. I'm a paid blogger. A very grateful paid blogger!

(Smiling & waving to my sponsors!)

Many people have asked me if I ever have any difficulty thinking of a subject to write about. Often, people will try to be "helpful" in suggesting topics for me to write about whether I ask them or, as often is the case, if it's simply brought up in conversation.

"You should write about this."

"Hey, I have a good idea for your blog.'

"If you can't think of anything to write about, how about this _____."

"If I were a writer, this is what I would write about."

PEEPS!

I believe that I was born to be a writer. I still have notebooks that I kept, starting when I was only 9 years old. My little hand with, as of then, undeveloped handwriting of short statements, poetry, even a few little drawings. 

The point is, I can always think of something to say, in person, in writing, in text, in phone conversations. Even in hand written notes.

Yep, some people still do that.

In an effort to get my blog readership up, I post links to it all over the internet. It IS a bit of a side gig after all!

I post links on You Tube videos when my blog entry is relative to the video or when the video has inspired me.

Although I have asked people to make their comments below the blog entry, you know, like, in the comments section? That area below each blog entry that says, "Comments". Yep, that one. 

They still write  their comments on my Facebook page or on You Tube as well as other sites where the link is posted. It used to REALLY ANNOY me.

Hey! There are bigger problems in the world, in life. Ri i i i g h t?

Now? It's just a slight irritation, I stopped reminding people. Being thelemic is how I roll. It's better for the mind, the spirit..............the blood pressure. Some people don't understand directions or choose to ignore the directions completely. 

Whatever is nether.

Recently, I have been getting a wee bit of pressure to record podcasts either in addition to or in place of my blogs.

In truth?

People have told me that my voice is sexy or sweet, or soothing, or just very pleasant to listen to. I just talk, the sound is there. 

My voice.

Whilst many people take lots of photos of themselves, their family, their food, their newest whatever. Then, said people will sit back to soak up the attention of the likes, loves etc.

Having had 4 stalkers, I neither want nor need that much attention.

It felt like an act of bravery for me to start writing this blog as it was.

Will I begin podcasting? I'm still on the fence about it.

Stay tuned.

A Prize Winning Recipe

True story ~ I had very few domestic skills when I went out on my own from my parents home. I learned a lot from serving on active duty in the USAF. 

Adding to those skills, the classes & other women whom I attended church with, taught me so much! I went from making food that my dog wouldn't eat, to becoming a great cook. 

During a bleak time when money was low, I put items from the pantry, fridge & freezer together. VOILA! It was so delicious! Everyone loved it. I entered it in a recipe contest, won a prize plus $300. 

That was quite decent, I thought! I continued to make this recipe over & over. Every person it was served to, raved about it. 

Polish Sausage Casserole was born!

The recipe was shared with the entire reader base of the magazine where it was published. I shared the recipe with many other people who asked for it. Thus, it will bear zero resemblance to the humor filled articles of a recipe being written on a grave stone. Ha ha!

Here it is!

Polish Sausage Casserole - My own recipe

1 large broccoli crown or 1 12 oz bag of frozen broccoli

4 medium red potatoes (I leave the peel on)

1 package of Hillshire Farms Polish Sausage

(I have used other brands, it tastes better with this brand)

1 - 15 oz can Campbells cream of mushroom soup

Slice the Polish Sausage into bite size slices. (often I cut these in half or even quartered them as some family members tended to pick the sausage pieces out to get more sausage). If you are using the frozen broccoli, it's most likely cut into small enough pieces. If you are using fresh broccoli crowns, cut the broccoli into bite sized pieces. Leave the peel on the potatoes or or peel them, it's really personal preference. Slice the potatoes into bite sized pieces, boil the potatoes in water (no salt)  just until slightly tender. Drain the potatoes well. Combine the veggies & sausage in a large casserole dish. Preferably with a lid. If you have one that is without a lid, you can cover it with aluminum foil. Open, then spoon the cream of mushroom soup onto the mixture. Very lightly combine the soup with the other ingredients.

Bake in the oven at 375 for 30 - 45 minutes. It should be bubbling hot. Let the casserole set for 15 minutes, slightly uncovered, after taking it out of the oven. Feel free to adjust the bake time as well as the temperature to achieve the delicious results! Some people will serve this with rice or over noodles to make it more filling.

If there is any left the next day, it's also really yummy if you heat it slightly, then crack a few eggs into the pan. Scramble the eggs, cook until eggs are slightly firm.

This recipe can be doubled or even quadrupled if you wish.

I hope that if/when you make this that you enjoy it!

Bon apetit!

Demanding reparations? Get in line!

 

In 1608 the first British women were brought to what is now the USA.

In 1619 the first Irish indentured servants were brought over.

In 1619 the first African slaves were brought  to Jamestown.

In 1636 the Caucasian colonists enslaved Native Americans.

 

In 1865 slavery in the USA was abolished. The 13th Amendment was passed by congress on January 31, 1865, it was ratified on December 6, 1865. Not all states in the USA accepted or adopted enslavement or indentured servitude. It took several years to replace slaves with paid laborers. It happened in a gradual process.

In 1865, Chinese people began to be brought to the USA to fill the demands for laborers after Abolition of Slavery. They were paid low wages, treated badly. In a clandestine practice, they were even bought and sold in a fashion similar to prior slave markets.

Women & children were still considered property by husbands & fathers as early as 1960. 

Re: Coverture Laws.

African American people legally gained their freedom by law nearly a century before Caucasian or White women along with their children.

Something that many people don't realize is that Irish, Scottish, Asian people were indentured servants for many years after the abolishment of slavery. Many indentured servants had a weaker constitution, many died before their indentured time expired. 

They lived in worse dwellings, were only given a minimum of food to keep them alive. 

Many slave owners "bred" their indentured servants, usually an Asian, Sottish or Irish woman with an African American man to try to produce stronger slaves with lighter skin color. 

The indentured servants would serve until the time for them to serve had ended. Their children remained as the property of the slave master.

Many of the smaller women died during childbirth due to the larger size of the infant. Also due to a lack of medical expertise, unsanitary conditions.

Indentured servants were seen as having less value than African slaves. When indenturement was expired, the servant could walk away as a free person. The African slaves were seen as more valuable since they were property, very scant chance to be freed.

Native American people were taken from their villages or tribal encampment, by Caucasians, to be used as laborers. Most often, the Native American was a baby or a small child as they were more easily taken. It was easier to raise them, speaking English with little to no knowledge of their origin. Many of these abductions sparked uprisings of the Native American people against those that had stolen their children.

Keep in mind that the Caucasian people who were committing these acts of barbarism, were European, British, some were Africans. Most people of today would not do such things. Partly because of the insight gained as to the detrimental effects on people. Also partly because it is strictly prohibited by law.......in the USA.

Slavery practices still exist in some parts of the world. Although the circumstances differ from the practices of a century ago, some cultures in the middle east still practice a form of slavery. People in poorer countries are brought to the middle east under false pretenses. Their passport, any money they have, any possessions they have, is taken. 

They work long hours for little money. Often, they are given just a floor to sleep on, are often expected to provide sexual services to the male head of the household. Often, along with other males as requested by the man who he or she is employed by.

When I see or hear of people spouting how unfair life is that they descended from African slaves. When I see or hear the cry out to be paid reparations? What goes through my mind is this:

Life is unfair, yet, it's our struggles that make us strong.

The white people alive today, are not responsible for your trouble.

Each individual who gives up responsibility for their failures, will never learn how to succeed in life.

Many people of all races have done quite well, you can, too!

If a person listens to words/ideals of hate toward individuals based on race, ethnicity, culture, the person deprives themselves of a richer life experience.

Throughout the history of the world, there have been many horrible atrocities of racially motivated wrong doing. It would be impossible to pay financial reparations to the descendants of  indentured servants, slaves, those who were killed in German work camps. The millions of women & children who were abused, tormented, murdered during a time they were considered property.

If you want to be paid? 

Become the master/mistress of your own fate, your own destiny. 

Pay yourself!