Aquatic Flavor

Although I mostly avoid thinking about the long ago, too long, amount of time I lived in Colorado...

Colorado is a good place to live, according to a lot of people, my preference is for other places to make a home for me, myself and I. While its an okay place to live, it definitely was not my place to live. 

When 1 out of twenty experiences is positive with the other 19 being pain filled, bordering on nightmarish, its a safe bet that living in Colorado can be good for some people. Less so for me. In the spirit of remaining positive, here are some of the best aspects of living in Colorado. Having lived all over the world, I realized that water that is from each area of the world has different properties, slight variations in flavor. 

There are the 8 captured free flowing fountains in Manitou Springs that have been bubbling up from the earth for over 10,000 years.

Colorado tap water is the best I have ever tasted! It has a very earthy flavor. Its slightly sweet. 

In Steamboat Springs, Sterling & Rifle the water has a very slight birchy scent with an even less perceptible birchy flavor, to me. You know, as I am the drinking, skinny dipping water connoisseur.

#militarylife #yaymilitarylife

As a child, living in Michigan, there was little else to drink besides water. Dad had his beer & whiskey. Mom had her Pepsi which she occasionally shared. Mom & Dad had their substance addiction to coffee. As most people in the world, do. 

Other than that it was water most of the time.  As a child, as I still am, one who hates to drink milk. Most of the drinking water that was available came out of the garden hose. 

Turn it on, wait a minute or so for the water to flush the dirt & critters out. If it was a very warm late spring or early summer day, it was necessary to let the water run until it came out of the hose, ice cold coming up from underground. Yum.

The tap water in Hawai'i had a heavily fluoridated taste, I could even smell the fluoride. I became a bit concerned about it when I brought my first & second precious daughters into the world. Born in paradise, it was a wonderful start in life. Still, I went full on Tigress when it concerned my babies, the water I drank or used to bathe them.

Moving from Hawai'i to Nebraska (Offutt AFB, Omaha, NE), the Nebraska tap water tasted like mud & mold to me. Even after it went through a filter, the traces of the flavor was still there.

As a military family, we moved to Europe from Nebraska. Some parts of Europe had never recovered from the damage done in WWII. The water that was served in public was never out of the tap. It was always bottled water. Often it was fizzy mineral water from a bottle.

The equivalent of $2. per bottle. $.50 extra if ice was ordered with it.

At first, it was a bit tricky, figuring out what the price would be in USD to decide if a cost was worth it in DM or FF or BF. Traveling from one European country to another was like crossing from Colorado into Wyoming or Georgia into Florida except the language of signs changed. Many aspects of the culture changed. Germany was free of roadside litter. When crossing into France, there was a bit more road litter, yet, each country had its' own charming aspects.

When I lived in Germany, I did half of my grocery shopping in France. My 4 darlings were age 1 year of age to 9 years, in a Dodge Caravan going 130 kph (80 mph) on the autobahn. 

With the average exchange rate at FF 5.65 to USD $1.00,  I could buy $500. worth of groceries for USD $100. to feed our family of 6 people. My darlings were promised French eclairs until the eclairs were gone on the trip home as a reward for their patience on the drive to the shopping area in France. As we neared the area of the shopping Usually a 45 minute drive. We knew we were close to the exit we needed to take when we saw this.

Many Americans thought this indicated a town named Ausfahrt, a very LARGE town because the sign is a constant on the autobahn. It's actually the German word for "Exit".

Then, when we saw this sign, we knew we were 10 minutes away from CORA, one in a chain of large one stop shopping areas.

Not the bicyclist, the sign. The signs are posted to mark the border of the different European countries. Their version of :

I had lived in Texas during my USAF BMT & schools. It was a very eye opening time. My first time to actually live outside my parents home, to progress into new adulthood

My first taste of actual Texas water on Lackland AFB in San Antonio, Texas tasted a lot like FREEDOM! 

So much was new, fun, a bit scary at times. I paid very scant attention to the flavor of the water.

When I moved to Texas in 2012, I moved to a very small almost rural area. Yupp, ha ha. 

Small Town USA. Pop: 800. It seemed to me that it must include horses, cows & 4 chihuahuas per family or 1 pit bull or cattle dog.

There couldn't possibly have been 800 people walking around.

It seemed that the water filtration was an ongoing issue in the small town where I lived. I knew to let the water from the tap sit in a clear glass for a bit. If brown sediment or white flakes or both were visible I knew I had to do something. I bought a water filtration system as well as a 3 gallon Brita water filter container for the fridge.

I drink a lot of water every day, a good habit. When I was able to taste the higher quality water flavor from a Brita dispenser even better than the more pricey bottled water for sale, I knew I had the best drinking water possible.

Does water quality truly matter so much?

YES!

Availability of clean water for washing clothing, bathing, growing crops, cooking is a bare essential. Also, providing clean healthy water for livestock is crucial to the health & prosperity for the population of people everywhere.

The progressiveness along with prosperity of countries worldwide directly correlates to the availability of clean water free from debris, chemicals, whether natural or otherwise.

Every morning, after washing my face & brushing my teeth, I take a container of 16 oz water then, chug it down. For my own personal reasons I have never had to depend on the chemical substance in coffee to help me wake up. 

My morning water feels so clean, so fresh as I feel the infusion of ice cold freshness brings my senses to a tingle. 

The best part of waking up is water in my....

Giving, Receiving, it's mostly the same

I can create beauty wherever I go

For myself for loved ones 

For those I do not know

So I shall

I can lift spirits or wipe a tear

Of those who might need it

Whether they be far or near

Because I want to

The milk of human kindness

Is in short supply I fear

With selfishness comes blindness

It's my mission to see

Though there is less joy

In the holidays for me now

My heart can still employ

To give to others

It's said often it's ever better to give

So this I shall do for myself

Sometimes a girl has to live

Making my own happiness. Merry whatever to me.  💖

Sweet Single Life ~ USA

In this space where my body lives

With the sheltering peace it gives

A place of excitement though not a home

For a space allowing my mind to roam

Walls around me with a sturdy roof above

As I toil in the work I can't get enough of

So fortunate am I to enjoy the work I do

With passionate energy all the way through

It was quite unplanned in the way it came to be

Call it happenstance of serendipity 

It's the love of my life in the karma coming back to me

In my element for setting my mind so free

God given talent so loved is this deep passion

Appreciating this gift of the tongue after a fashion

Gift of mercy when it was given to do what I love

Endowing me with a life I had long dreamed of

Lucre is said to be so far from happiness

It will give to me a place where I can build my nest

Many hours in solitude crafting works of oral perfection 

Taking me ever forward in the right direction

As the days melt into weeks into months with years to pass

Cows teach us that in time cream can be made from grass

A Prayer For The Soul From The Soul

 Please

If you can 

If you will

Try to understand that this is a beautiful word for a beautiful practice for the heart, for the mind, for the soul. For all of us who have broken the hearts of others or had your heart broken.

For those of us who are perfect in our imperfection.

I said, please.

Ho'o'ponopono is a long word for a simple practice. The sadness trapped inside you whether you put it there or it was put there by others can be touched. Possibly a simple by product of life.

It can be spoken to, then, released.

You can release it, finally, by giving yourself permission.

WTF?

Do I actually NEED permission?

Sometimes......well......you might not know

For peace of mind, peace of heart, maybe. You will only know when you try. You are a beautiful work of spirit & flesh, be thelemic.

An Easier Life

Life has been challenging at the least in the past 2 years. There is a song that could apply to the chaotic mess the world was thrown into in late 2019. Hmm. Lockdown for COVID19 began in 2019.

Hmm.  

Coincidence or manipulated serendipity?

Hmm.

Back to the song by Rodney Atkins, it's his property, I could have written it, Rodney wrote it. This is the chorus.

"If you're goin' through hell, keep on going

Don't slow down if you're scared don't show it

You might get out before the devil even knows you're there"

It makes me wonder, though the song came out in 2015, if he had to deal with the TP shortage, because, he's a celebrity.

As one who self describes as a creative thinker, there are many things that I think of, put the idea to the test. If it gives good results, it's a keeper. If it's unsuccessful, oh well, I tried. These life hacks make my life more pleasant. Others might know about them, already.

Now to the meat of the topic.

(Mmm, meat, good!)

1. If you have ever "lost" your vehicle in a parking lot, you might activate the alarm on a key fob, then, follow the music. 😎

If you are fobless or prefer to wander the parking lot, hoping that your vehicle will magically appear, good luck. Most large parking lots have a firetruck lane. A long red line, often, it will be yellow.

I park up against the red line. NOT IN FIRE LANE. Against it.

When you exit the store, follow the red or yellow line to your vehicle.

It will look something like this.

2. Battery operated devices are nice to have in a power outage or if you are somewhere, outside of a building, where there is no electricity. Maybe you have been binge watching your favorite shows, a lot!

You trundle on down to the store, park against the red line of course, to re-stock your batteries. 

Do you need AA size batteries or AAA? Flip a coin. AAA it is! You go home, get ready to change the batteries on your device. Whatever you may be thinking while reading this. Just to be clear, I'm talking about remote controls for lights, TV, DVD Player.

Leave BOB out of this!  😇😇😇😇

(My cheeky side surfaced)

It's then that you discover you actually needed size AA. 

If you have aluminum foil (hope you do), tear off a small piece. Put your batteries in their proper order, the batteries are too small.

What the french, toast?

Crumple a bit of the aluminum foil, push it into the gap between the battery, on + or - side so the battery is in contact with the foil.

Pop the popcorn, fire up the boob tube, continue binge watching!

3. This next one involves bugs, insects, whatever, a double header!

Most stinging, biting insects are repelled by lavender oil. It's a common oil that is widely available, inexpensive. The quality is less important. If you can smell the scent of lavender, the bugs can, too! When I need to step outside, either close to or after sundown, I have a 10 ml bottle with a roller ball. It only takes a little. One dot of it on each wrist, then, one dot on each ankle.

4 dots at night, the buggies won't bite. 

I keep one bottle in my purse, one in my home.

Peppermint oil works, also, if you prefer that.

So, you're out of lavender oil, peppermint oil or never had it to begin with.

tsk - tsk

Do you have a metal spoon?

A bunch of biter - stingers decided you would be a great snack! The itching is horrible, making you irritable. If you have a metal spoon, heat it with hot water. Test it for temperature. Lightly press the back or convex side of the spoon on the bite. It will disperse the venom which will alleviate itching.

You can also run a bath of water as hot as you can stand it. Lay in the tub of hot water for 5 - 10 minutes. The heat of the water has the same effect. For an enhancement to the experience, put some soft music on, fantasize about whoever or whatever tickles your fancy.

4. If you have children or are going to spend time with one (or more), cooking or baking is a great way to have fun while spending time with children. It can be tricky, messy. It's best to keep it simple.

Make certain that the child or children don't have allergies to ingredients before you cook or bake with them. It's important to make happy memories without injuring or killing cookie crunchers!

It's best to keep it as simple as possible, to hold the child's interest plus makes clean up easier as you will most likely be doing it solo.

This is a simple recipe that seems like it won't work, but it does.

Not this! Unless you really want to. Report back if it works!

This!

1 cup of sugar

1 cup of peanut butter (or any nut butter)

1 egg

Heat the oven to 375, coat a cookie sheet with shortening or butter.

Use a tablespoon of the dough, rolled into spheres. Place the spheres on the cookie sheet, flatten ever so slightly with a dinner fork, bake for 8 - 10 minutes. Remove from oven, using an oven mit, it will be HOT!

Let the cookies cool for 10 - 15 minutes as they will be similar consistency to softened butter. They become firm when cooled.

If you or the little one has nut allergies, here is an alternate recipe.

2 - 4 cups white or wheat flour

2 sticks or 1 cup of butter

1 cup table or white granulated sugar

Heat oven to 375 c

Start with 1 stick (1/2 cup) of butter, 1/2 cup of sugar. With a stand or hand mixer, beat the butter & sugar together until it's creamy. Add the flour a tablespoon at a time, using the mixer until the dough becomes thick enough to be made into a firm ball or rolled flat then cut into shapes. If you only want a small batch such as 1 or 2 dozen cookies, stop adding flour, butter or sugar. If the dough is too thick, a few drops of warm water will soften it. Sprinkle some flour on a cutting board, roll the dough flat, use cookie cutters or your imagination for different shapes. Bake on a buttered cookie sheet for 8 - 10 minutes. Let them cool for at least 10 minutes as they will be fragile until cooled.

I hope the power of 4 will make your life more enjoyable, easier.

If you're so inclined leave a comment if any or all of these worked for you or you just feel like saying something silly!

Life Making

As the somewhat cliche' colloquialism goes: 

"Some people believe in life after death without ever truly living" 

Living life to the fullest sounds like such a simple concept. How does a person go about living life to the fullest? One way to do it, to put yourself  on the proverbial path, is to ask yourself questions.

What do I like?

Do I like this item so much or would it add to clutter?

How does this feel to me?

Is this a person whom it feels good to have in my life?

This is something I used to like, do I still like it?

What can I do to make the world a better place?

When I left a long marriage I realized that I had lost my identity. The needs of others had taken priority over mine for so long, it felt normal for my needs to go unmet. At times when I expressed a need, it was ignored. Sometimes I was referred to as selfish or being self centered for asking for a birthday cake & ice cream.

When I gained my freedom it felt a bit strange at first. Whilst going shopping for such day to day necessities, I thought to buy those items that the ex huzz & children liked. When I bought then brought the items to my new home, there they would sit, untouched. When one of my kiddos had a birthday coming up I would see something that I thought would delight them. Often, I didn't even have their mailing address to send it to them as they were on a military deployment or away at college, I had no way to even contact them. 

There would be weeks, sometimes even months when I didn't hear from any of them. 

It's often said that in a divorce the children & others will polarize toward one person, leaving the other out in the cold. 

Can you guess which was my fate? It was REALLY cold.

I tried to keep the relationships going until I realized that I was the only one trying. Telling myself that this was how it was for now, it might be different later, was a comfort. 

Small comfort, better than nothing.

The ex huzz had taught my children that I was of little value, unworthy of respect, by the way he had treated me. When, I finally did have contact with my children, I spent years, putting the respect for me, in place. It's there, now, to varying degrees among them though I doubt they realize it.

At the point when I moved to a 3 BR, 2 BA duplex, I began realizing that I had to start living my life for me. I started by cleaning out my pantry, fridge & freezer. The unhealthy processed foods that I had bought that had gone untouched were far from their expiration dates.

Those were donated to the local food bank.

Also, I made a mental note to myself to only buy healthy foods.

When an acquaintance asked me to get out & go shopping with her, it was nice to get out of the house to go somewhere other than work. As she and I browsed, I found myself doing it again. A memory would flood my thoughts as naturally as breathing. I would see something that reminded me of one of my children, that their birthday or Christmas was near. 

I was doing it, again.

At first it felt so foreign, to think of myself or what I would like. Then, I started catching myself, realizing that they were living their lives for themselves or their dad, I had to live my life for myself.

Painful to realize, yes, a healthy realization. It was necessary to, now, focus on myself, on what would bring me happiness.

One day, my attention was drawn to a program that was designed to help people adjust to life after a long marriage or relationship ended. I had noticed that many people quickly jump from one marriage to another. Some people will get into another romantic relationship within days or weeks or sometimes just months after the previous one ends. Sometimes even before the previous one has ended. 

Many people have never learned how to be content with their own company or have forgotten how to be single. 

They fear it as if it were a death sentence. There are many ways to live that are much worse than being single & living alone.

This program helps a lot after the end of a long relationship. Also, if there was the death of a spouse.

www.divorcecare.org

It's a 13 week program, free of charge, to ease the adjustment. It was a scary thought to me. Speaking of such personal subjects among strangers. I decided to give it a try. 

Two surprising things happened:

1. I realized that I was on the right track to think of my own needs.

2. Although the divorce was more recent for me than the other people's, I was more "recovered" than the others in the program.

Possibly because the ex huzz had been doing so many damaging things over and over. He had been saying such hurtful things. He had been lying to me, using manipulation instead of having an adult conversation. He had killed my love for him slowly, over time. The deep love I had felt for him, he had killed it 5 years prior to my decision to leave.

Most of the people in the classes were struggling mostly because they still deeply loved their spouses. 

I didn't have that problem.

Slowly, I began ridding myself of household items that were not my taste in furniture, decor. The process of self discovery, all over again, was invigorating. Finding that my taste was more simple than it had been before was a nice discovery! I even went so far as to buy new silverware that was more to my liking. 

That felt good, with every bite!

From time to time I would come across something that belonged to one of my children. Even if it was a school paper or a bedraggled little doll or stuffed animal. It might have been precious to them, not something easily bought. It was theirs, not mine, it felt important to give it to them to do with it as they wished. I kept 4 boxes, labeled with each ones name. When I found something that had been one of my childrens' posessions, I placed it in their box. When the box was full, I took it to its' original owner or mailed it if that was what needed to be done. 

Even with all of these changes, it was so easy to regress back into my former habits, my former trains of thought. The classes I was taking helped a lot to move me further along on the road to recovery.

I went through the 13 week course 5 times for further healing. 

Three times in Colorado, thinking I was healed enough.

Then?

In 2012, my heart was broken, shattered really, when a man from the past came back to hurt me so badly, I made the decision to never allow it again. 

I allowed it. 

He knew exactly what he was doing, he knew he was lying to me, he knew he was using the "fake a future" method to hook me.   

I allowed it for the last time I would ever allow it. I went through the 13 week course 2 more times in 2012 to get over the heartbreak.  

This may sound horrible because it was.

The many nights I cried myself to sleep, the self persecution for being so gullible as to fall for his manipulations? These gave way to more self discovery, more determination to guard my heart so as to never be shattered like that ever again. It took me a little over 2 years to recover. This may sound over dramatic, such was the heartbreak I suffered along with a very valuable lesson learned.

One tenet that helped me more than anything was something so small that it seemed implausible. In the course I took, I had an "aha" moment. The realization that if I stopped dating at all, allow myself to adjust to living alone, being alone, it would make me far less vulnerable to the players, liars, cheaters. It also made me far less vulnerable to the romance scammers online as well as the ones in real life. Mm Hm. There were a few guys, in real life, who tried to get money from me. Tried to use me as their personal ATM.  However long it might take, it was worth it to take the time to adjust to being single & celibate, to have peace in my heart.

With the new empowerment of being content with my own company, my efforts gained new focus on beautifying my surroundings.

Donating, gifting or selling furniture or anything from my former life gave a deeper perspective. Anything that had too strong of a memory attached to it, had to go!

I had more freedom than I had ever known, before. It felt good! Really - really good!

The one aspect of my personality which I have wrestled with the most since gaining my freedom is still a tough one for me. When I find or experience something good, a strong desire to share my good fortune takes over. This is a gem for predatory people to find.

They will lap up everything they can until the the person becomes depleted or discovers they are dealing with a resource succubus or incubus in human form.

That's some heavily damaging juju!!!!

It was necessary to resist or at least rein in the desire to share with others.

This next lesson is the most recent one that I had to learn. 

My heart is a loving one, a very giving one. I used to make hand made or bought gifts to give to others. If I could give it in person, I did so. If the intended lived far away, I would take the time to very carefully, lovingly packaging it then mailing it, feeling the pleasure of giving to those whom I love.

While a few people did let me know they had received their gifts, called, texted or emailed their words of gratitude, most did not. If it were not for tracking numbers, I would have never known if the gifts were received or not.

One recipient was taking their family out of town for Christmas. I busted my butt to put a Christmas package together to mail to get their gifts to them in plenty of  time before they left. The box arrived 4 days before they were to leave. The tracking number showed it. I didn't hear from the recipient. Finally, at the end of January,I placed a call to them.

It was a pain filled stab to my heart when the recipient told me that it was too hard to put the box in their car so it was left in their home. They finally opened it several days after Christmas. I decided that it would be the last time I would waste my time or money on them.

A tough lesson to learn, as well as a valuable lesson to learn.

Personal growth.

Having a loving heart is to also have a heart that wishes to help others, to feel happiness from giving of my time to others.

The lesson learned is to let myself feel the same happiness from giving to myself.

It was a bit difficult at first. It felt like I was being too selfish, feeling tinges of guilt in fulfilling my own needs, wants, wishes, pleasures.

It was necessary to learn to let myself feel the same happiness, pleasure, satisfaction from giving to myself.

Often, I do feel tinges of guilt in giving to myself, still. 

I'm a work in progress.

As long as I am in this body, living & breathing, it's a wondrous life to live, change, grow, learn, improve.

Prior habits can be changed, improved upon.

Continuing in personal growth is a sweet way for me to live as I move through time, getting old is optional.

Precious

 

How precious those people and objects become

When we know they are soon to be missed

How we long to hold on a bit tighter than ever

Holding onto them with a tight fist

Those who are here today gone tomorrow 

With no warning of what was yet to be

A yearning heart a silent prayer

Whispers of love come back to me

Someone Very Special

Have you ever had such strong connection that it fills your heart to the point that you know it will forever change you?

Animals can do this for their hoo-mans.

I'm speaking of actual animals, although there have been a few Marines (USMC) that I loved who also loved me!

Animals seem to go together with children. They are both so vulnerable, at the mercy of adults who are supposed to protect them from dangers in the world. Animals along with children seem to love me. It's possible that they sense my love for them. 

Having known as well as loved so many animals of many different sorts, animals that were not dependent on me for food & shelter, as well as some who were.

Horses (my ultimate favorites)

Dogs (of course!)

Cats (of course, again)

Gorillas (The gorilla his dreams)

Elephants (extraordinary encounters)

Birds (mainly cockatiels)

Fish (I had a pet oscar as a child)

I may have missed a species or two so, sending some animal love to the ones not mentioned. If you are a child with fur, reading this, I probably love you, too! Also, I love the one who taught you to read!

One certain dog touched my heart & has remained there ever since. He was completely helpless, so small, just a puppy. He was a big boy for his age. The owners of his parents said he was almost 11 weeks.

There was no way he was more than 8 weeks!

I had to bottle feed him at first, the beginning of our bonding time. He picked me out to be his person. 

If you have ever had a family dog, you might notice that the dog spends more time with one particular person. The dog will become more distressed if their "person" is not around, will become a bit more excited when the person returns. I was Sammy's person. He and I went through a learning time when I obedience trained him, he was very smart, he learned very quick.

As part of his training, I taught him to sniff out chocolate. The day after Halloween, my kiddos would hide their candy before leaving the house for their daily activities. As cleverly as the candy would be hidden, Sammy could find it then he and I both knew where it was. Anyone who has ever had a Doberman or has been around one very much, knows that they can be elegant goof-balls! They can be master contortionists. Dang! Those big scary Dobies!

He grew to be 120 lbs, with his back becoming level with my hips. I'm only 5'3", yet, that's still quite large, even for a Doberman. A few

times people even speculated that he might even have some Great Dane heritage. 

He never barked in Danish, though he was great!

His name was Sammy, a one in a million dog who was loved by myself & my children. The ex huzz constantly threatened to BBQ Sammy, complained about him. Go figure. He's gone, the love for Sammy has remained with me as well as with my kiddos.

Often, I dream about Sammy. He lived to be 12 years of age, had a good life. My dreams of him always leave me with a happy heart, thinking about him through the next day. 

He was a one in a million dog.

**********************************************************************************

My Dobie had a first name

Ess a em em why

My dobie had nick-name

My bee a bee bee why

He filled my heart with love for him

His alarm bark was like thunder

Except when he heard the vacuum cleaner

He ran for anything to hide under

So smart was he at learning so quick

As a dogs life goes by so much faster

The memories of him will live on

Of the short time when he was my master

Hold your children with fur so close

Cherish them even when they raid your fridge

The time will arrive far too soon

When you say good bye at the rainbow bridge

Losing my "O"

 

It happened gradually, almost without notice. I knew things were getting old, would become less functional in time.

In my optimism, in time, even grass turns into milk and cream! It can then be turned into butter, ice cream,  cheese! Even cheese cake.

Yup - Yup.

However, I don't own a cow, I can still choose optimism.

Because I work from home, online, long hours, socially isolated, it's crucial to my income to have that "O" as often as it's needed. 

O's matter!

It's pretty much common knowledge that O's are essential. They are needed frequently, not having them at a frequency that's needed?

Life will seem a bit dull, will, at times make most information cease to makes as much sense.

Sometimes O's are a simple construct, they can be as simple or complex as they are needed to be.

O's can be a straight black and white or they can be as colorful, complex, mildly stimulating or as multi layered as one wishes.

When my O stopped functioning, I had to very carefully extract it, do a bit of "doctoring" to get it back into its' proper place. It gave me new appreciation for something so simple, so necessary.

If ne tries t d withut them, it might lk smething like this.

It might be time for a new laptop since the "O" on my keyboard became less functional.

Yes, I was referring to the "O" key on my laptop. 

What did you think I was referring to?  😏

All The Love

When I think of sunshine it may seem only logical that my thought traces would gear toward a warm sugar sand beach, an ice cold glass of lemon water.

When I think of sunshine it might conjure up images in my memory of the summer I rode a beautiful palomino nearly every day. To some degree, it does.

When you think of sunshine, what is the first idea or image that you can conjure up or recall?

Is it the warmth of the sun shining on your face?

Is it a secret delight in your own happy place?

Is it a memory of sweet recall from your childhood?

The ice cream you were promised if you would be good?

(Had to let my inner poet out to play)

When I think of sunshine, what I think of, is a pet cockatiel I had for several years. She was a beautiful yellow with bright orange darling little cheeks.

She loved me.

I know, like I know, like I know, she loved me. 

Her name was Sunshine.

She loved me, she trusted me. When she and I would sit on the sofa and watch a movie together, she would eat the popcorn along with me. When I yawned, she would put her entire head in my mouth, investigating, poking around a little, then go back to our popcorn.

Often, I took her on car rides, she would perch on my shoulder as I drove, then, into the store as I did my grocery shopping.

She was such a sweet bird. 

This is an actual photo that a friend took of us. It seemed a bit silly, at the time. 

I'm so happy to have the photo, now. Birds, as pets, mostly, live a shorter life than most dogs or cats. Angel pets with wings that pass on to be real angels. Gone too soon.

When I hit a rough patch in life, I remember the times in life that I received that much love. Whether it was from a pet or a human or even from a very happy experience.

In my life, for the past 2 years, I have been feeling so much happiness, so much contentment. It's nice to be in this blissful state of mind. So happy that I feel less need to recall those blissed out days.

It's as though all the pain from abuse as a child is neutralized. The anger, resentment, the bitterness of having to end a marriage that had become too abusive for me to be able to stay in it. The dark clouds are gone, the happiness is here, hopefully to stay. 

All of the love in my heart that was put there by friends, family & dear children with wings or fur, is so constant. In the place of having to dip into memories, it's there, with me, a permanent part of my hourly countenance. This is the best way to convey how it feels. Darling readers, forgive me, please, if I fall short in my description. I'm doing my very best.

Why?

You might ask, so, ask away.

The answer is that I hope that every person can arrive at the state of being that is described here.

I have enough to share.

Love is put in our hearts to share with others. Here is some of mine. Close your eyes, face the sun, feel the warmth. Feel the love.

Doing The Mending

As cliche' as this sounds, here I go!

Several years ago there was a falling out with someone I dearly loved, someone I STILL dearly love. We had a parting, almost zero knowledge of each other since then. 

We are family. Blood related family. Places reserved in our hearts.

I was unsure what to do, so, I waited. Waited for a text or call or something so that I could clearly see what to do.

Then?

BANG!

Just like that, it happened.

It came to me as a long text, then, a phone conversation. You know, when people actually converse with their voices. I was invited to visit, to meet 2 sweet children I had never seen before. To stay in a beautiful home in Colorado. Reconnecting, taking time, doing fun things, cooking, playing with her children. 

It was so surreal.

Dreams coming true, for me, maybe for her, too.

We both put aside hurts of the past, replacing it with hugs, kisses, sweet words, smiles, jokes, laughter, gift giving. Renewing the ties that bind, smoothing the heart-strings into beautiful melodies.

Any one can hold onto a grudge. Holding onto the slights, the things of the past that hurt you. Protecting your wounded dignity.

It takes someone who is holding onto their pain, real or perceived, to hold a grudge. It sounds easy, it looks easier than forgiveness.

In reality it can cause insomnia, heartburn, layers of emotional pain that is self imposed.

Extending a proverbial olive branch has it's risks, the fear of rejection that many experience is strong.That strong fear can create weakness. In the mind, the body, the spirit.

The alternative?

For the very best outcome, that which is often the hardest to do is also the best course of action.

It was a sweet release to let it go then take in the love that was freely offered to me. 

Mending that which is from the past to keep moving forward.

Sweet release.

If you have a chance to heal hurts of the past, just do it! 

Just like Nike.