Someone Very Special

Have you ever had such strong connection that it fills your heart to the point that you know it will forever change you?

Animals can do this for their hoo-mans.

I'm speaking of actual animals, although there have been a few Marines (USMC) that I loved who also loved me!

Animals seem to go together with children. They are both so vulnerable, at the mercy of adults who are supposed to protect them from dangers in the world. Animals along with children seem to love me. It's possible that they sense my love for them. 

Having known as well as loved so many animals of many different sorts, animals that were not dependent on me for food & shelter, as well as some who were.

Horses (my ultimate favorites)

Dogs (of course!)

Cats (of course, again)

Gorillas (The gorilla his dreams)

Elephants (extraordinary encounters)

Birds (mainly cockatiels)

Fish (I had a pet oscar as a child)

I may have missed a species or two so, sending some animal love to the ones not mentioned. If you are a child with fur, reading this, I probably love you, too! Also, I love the one who taught you to read!

One certain dog touched my heart & has remained there ever since. He was completely helpless, so small, just a puppy. He was a big boy for his age. The owners of his parents said he was almost 11 weeks.

There was no way he was more than 8 weeks!

I had to bottle feed him at first, the beginning of our bonding time. He picked me out to be his person. 

If you have ever had a family dog, you might notice that the dog spends more time with one particular person. The dog will become more distressed if their "person" is not around, will become a bit more excited when the person returns. I was Sammy's person. He and I went through a learning time when I obedience trained him, he was very smart, he learned very quick.

As part of his training, I taught him to sniff out chocolate. The day after Halloween, my kiddos would hide their candy before leaving the house for their daily activities. As cleverly as the candy would be hidden, Sammy could find it then he and I both knew where it was. Anyone who has ever had a Doberman or has been around one very much, knows that they can be elegant goof-balls! They can be master contortionists. Dang! Those big scary Dobies!

He grew to be 120 lbs, with his back becoming level with my hips. I'm only 5'3", yet, that's still quite large, even for a Doberman. A few

times people even speculated that he might even have some Great Dane heritage. 

He never barked in Danish, though he was great!

His name was Sammy, a one in a million dog who was loved by myself & my children. The ex huzz constantly threatened to BBQ Sammy, complained about him. Go figure. He's gone, the love for Sammy has remained with me as well as with my kiddos.

Often, I dream about Sammy. He lived to be 12 years of age, had a good life. My dreams of him always leave me with a happy heart, thinking about him through the next day. 

He was a one in a million dog.

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My Dobie had a first name

Ess a em em why

My dobie had nick-name

My bee a bee bee why

He filled my heart with love for him

His alarm bark was like thunder

Except when he heard the vacuum cleaner

He ran for anything to hide under

So smart was he at learning so quick

As a dogs life goes by so much faster

The memories of him will live on

Of the short time when he was my master

Hold your children with fur so close

Cherish them even when they raid your fridge

The time will arrive far too soon

When you say good bye at the rainbow bridge

Losing my "O"

 

It happened gradually, almost without notice. I knew things were getting old, would become less functional in time.

In my optimism, in time, even grass turns into milk and cream! It can then be turned into butter, ice cream,  cheese! Even cheese cake.

Yup - Yup.

However, I don't own a cow, I can still choose optimism.

Because I work from home, online, long hours, socially isolated, it's crucial to my income to have that "O" as often as it's needed. 

O's matter!

It's pretty much common knowledge that O's are essential. They are needed frequently, not having them at a frequency that's needed?

Life will seem a bit dull, will, at times make most information cease to makes as much sense.

Sometimes O's are a simple construct, they can be as simple or complex as they are needed to be.

O's can be a straight black and white or they can be as colorful, complex, mildly stimulating or as multi layered as one wishes.

When my O stopped functioning, I had to very carefully extract it, do a bit of "doctoring" to get it back into its' proper place. It gave me new appreciation for something so simple, so necessary.

If ne tries t d withut them, it might lk smething like this.

It might be time for a new laptop since the "O" on my keyboard became less functional.

Yes, I was referring to the "O" key on my laptop. 

What did you think I was referring to?  😏

All The Love

When I think of sunshine it may seem only logical that my thought traces would gear toward a warm sugar sand beach, an ice cold glass of lemon water.

When I think of sunshine it might conjure up images in my memory of the summer I rode a beautiful palomino nearly every day. To some degree, it does.

When you think of sunshine, what is the first idea or image that you can conjure up or recall?

Is it the warmth of the sun shining on your face?

Is it a secret delight in your own happy place?

Is it a memory of sweet recall from your childhood?

The ice cream you were promised if you would be good?

(Had to let my inner poet out to play)

When I think of sunshine, what I think of, is a pet cockatiel I had for several years. She was a beautiful yellow with bright orange darling little cheeks.

She loved me.

I know, like I know, like I know, she loved me. 

Her name was Sunshine.

She loved me, she trusted me. When she and I would sit on the sofa and watch a movie together, she would eat the popcorn along with me. When I yawned, she would put her entire head in my mouth, investigating, poking around a little, then go back to our popcorn.

Often, I took her on car rides, she would perch on my shoulder as I drove, then, into the store as I did my grocery shopping.

She was such a sweet bird. 

This is an actual photo that a friend took of us. It seemed a bit silly, at the time. 

I'm so happy to have the photo, now. Birds, as pets, mostly, live a shorter life than most dogs or cats. Angel pets with wings that pass on to be real angels. Gone too soon.

When I hit a rough patch in life, I remember the times in life that I received that much love. Whether it was from a pet or a human or even from a very happy experience.

In my life, for the past 2 years, I have been feeling so much happiness, so much contentment. It's nice to be in this blissful state of mind. So happy that I feel less need to recall those blissed out days.

It's as though all the pain from abuse as a child is neutralized. The anger, resentment, the bitterness of having to end a marriage that had become too abusive for me to be able to stay in it. The dark clouds are gone, the happiness is here, hopefully to stay. 

All of the love in my heart that was put there by friends, family & dear children with wings or fur, is so constant. In the place of having to dip into memories, it's there, with me, a permanent part of my hourly countenance. This is the best way to convey how it feels. Darling readers, forgive me, please, if I fall short in my description. I'm doing my very best.

Why?

You might ask, so, ask away.

The answer is that I hope that every person can arrive at the state of being that is described here.

I have enough to share.

Love is put in our hearts to share with others. Here is some of mine. Close your eyes, face the sun, feel the warmth. Feel the love.

Doing The Mending

As cliche' as this sounds, here I go!

Several years ago there was a falling out with someone I dearly loved, someone I STILL dearly love. We had a parting, almost zero knowledge of each other since then. 

We are family. Blood related family. Places reserved in our hearts.

I was unsure what to do, so, I waited. Waited for a text or call or something so that I could clearly see what to do.

Then?

BANG!

Just like that, it happened.

It came to me as a long text, then, a phone conversation. You know, when people actually converse with their voices. I was invited to visit, to meet 2 sweet children I had never seen before. To stay in a beautiful home in Colorado. Reconnecting, taking time, doing fun things, cooking, playing with her children. 

It was so surreal.

Dreams coming true, for me, maybe for her, too.

We both put aside hurts of the past, replacing it with hugs, kisses, sweet words, smiles, jokes, laughter, gift giving. Renewing the ties that bind, smoothing the heart-strings into beautiful melodies.

Any one can hold onto a grudge. Holding onto the slights, the things of the past that hurt you. Protecting your wounded dignity.

It takes someone who is holding onto their pain, real or perceived, to hold a grudge. It sounds easy, it looks easier than forgiveness.

In reality it can cause insomnia, heartburn, layers of emotional pain that is self imposed.

Extending a proverbial olive branch has it's risks, the fear of rejection that many experience is strong.That strong fear can create weakness. In the mind, the body, the spirit.

The alternative?

For the very best outcome, that which is often the hardest to do is also the best course of action.

It was a sweet release to let it go then take in the love that was freely offered to me. 

Mending that which is from the past to keep moving forward.

Sweet release.

If you have a chance to heal hurts of the past, just do it! 

Just like Nike.