Planning Ahead

As far back in life as I recall, I have been one who plans. As a child, I was taking notes, listening to people around me speaking of what they liked, what they desired. 

What to get for them for Christmas ~ In July!

By 7 years in age, I had known what my mission in life was, for a few years, why I was on the Earth. My personal purpose.

For as long as I was alive it was my mission to do good in the world, to do things that were conducive to the happiness of others. Occasionally, for my own delight.

People can make up their mind to be happy or less than happy. Doing kindnesses for others facilitates being happy. 

Many grains of sand make a beach. 

Many bricks make up a house or building.

Many drops of water make an ocean or a lake.

Many bubbles make a bubble bath.

People must choose to be happy, giving them little reasons can help though it's ultimately up to each person to decide.

In the past 2 decades or so, after the trend of home decor that leaned toward Victorian style. Then, it was Country Victorian. Then, just Country Style. Then, French Cottage/Shabby Chic. Then, some of the styles were merged in different combinations.

After all the different styles, many people felt a sense of being overwhelmed, hemmed in by so much stuff.

Starting out in life, as a girl in late teens - early 20s, my desire was to just be. Since I was living in Hawai'i, I just wanted to be at the beach. Just feel the sun & trade winds on my skin. Just go to Bobby McGees with a group of people who were fun to be around. 

Just go with my boyfriend, Michael, to The Old Spaghetti Factory in Honolulu. Then walk around Waikiki, holding hands, a kiss here & there as we walked around, talking, laughing. People would comment that were a beautiful couple. Both fair skinned, blonde with light colored eyes. 

Plus, the way we looked so happy, together. There is something to be said for a long-term relationship with someone who makes you feel cherished. At that time in life, 6 months was a long-term relationship.

We didn't have "the talk", it wasn't necessary, we were both exclusively dating each other, it was a mutual understanding for us.

Just being with someone who made me feel safe. From his haircut & confident demeanor it was obvious that he was in the USAF. People were surprised that I was, too & we were the same rank. 

Time moves us all forward. For some people, who remain stuck, they self-stagnate then turn to unhealthy practices. Substance abuse, hoarding, overeating, miring for so long that they are unable to climb up out of the abyss. If nothing happens to propel them to change or no person helps them, they will eventually pass on that way.

Here is where the climactic truth begins. The chlamydial life pain.

Many stories that are said to be true, of experiences with visitations by spirits. As often as the identity of the spirit is known to the living observer, sometimes it's someone they didn't know. 

Haunting, just the same.

Often the entity is attached to certain items, certain places. Sometimes attached to a living person who may or may not be able to help them.

Contrary to the many paranormal stories, You Tube videos, ghost tours, etc, most encounters are benign. Most encounters are harmless.

A personal belief I hold is that the earlier centuries of people who were tortured or executed or ostracized at the least left behind a residue of fear. In 2026, people might be scorned or laughed at or yes, ostracized. 

The undertone of it is still fear.

Ostracized for even associating with someone who has strong ESP.

Also known as intuition.

One camp says intuition is hogwash, just lucky guesses.

One camp says to trust your gut feeling or trust your intuition.

My camp is full of bowers of flowers, laughter, beautiful music, smiles. It has become more so since I began listening to my intuition, my gut feeling, if you will.

Please dig through the word salad to the meat of this idea.

Mmm, meat, good, mmm, potatoes, good.

There is one current running through encounters of my own as well as those described by others. It's that many entities can't or won't move on because they are still strongly attached to a place, prior possessions or even people. They can't or won't let go of it.

If you have ever had a feng shui attack, a few rounds of decluttering, letting go of that which once served you which no longer does.

You may know the deep relief of letting go.

AKA less is more.

Letting go while being alive is far easier for those who are among the living than it is for those who have passed away from living in a body.

It seems like an earth life principle though it goes far deeper into a spiritual principle. Letting go of things that no longer serve you, letting go of living people who are unhealthy to be around.

Letting go while still in living form is by far, easier than when a person passes into spiritual form still clinging to people, things, places that they didn't or couldn't let go of in life.

This directly addresses the directives of life, of home decor that is going on right now. The movement of minimalism, at different levels. Also known as clearing, downsizing, adopting feng shui principles. 

Peeps, it's more difficult than that. 

Things are only things, you might think.

Those things hold memories that many people are emotionally attached to. The memories of happy times, people we love, places we have been, the essence of a time when life was so good. It's really the memories & loved ones that are cherished. The things are tangible representations of that person, place or happy time. Sellers of trinkets at touristy locations thrive on this desire to have something tangible.

Letting go can feel like a betrayal of that which we hold dear.

In truth?

Most of letting go digs deep into the very base of these. 

Letting go is actually a way to honor them.

This is why it frees us emotionally, spiritually.

Yes, it even frees us of the feeling of being hemmed in by clutter.

The tricky part is to be ready to let things go. In the past when I helped other people to declutter, if they were willing to do it yet not quite ready, they would start accumulating all over again afterward.

The change begins internally then the change can be external. A person must be ready to let go, make internal changes after letting go, revel in the freedom to breath a bit easier.

WARNING

Change can be unsettling. Even a baby being born must struggle to adjust to its new environment after the struggle of being born. Many people may even cry like a baby as they adjust to their new reality.

I did.

In present day, going through a decluttering is an emotional roller coaster. Sorting through items from different stages in my life. Just as I think it will get easier, a time bomb appears. It's then that I used to stop for that day which sometimes turned into a week or more.

With my pup who is very curious about everything, it adds a slight delay. 

The difference is that after uncovering the spiritual principles of attachment & detaching, it makes letting go more meaningful.

As much fun as it would be to come back in spirit form to haunt & scare the crap out of some people who might deserve the scare.

I just say - "nah".

Moving on is more precious than any of that could ever be.

There's a plus!

Plus, if I can move forward in life, I can only imagine the richness of moving forward without the trappings of earthly thingamabobs.

For Love

People run hither dither getting ready for what is touted as the most romantic day of the year. Up front it looks like chocolate candy, roses, hearts, promises that will most likely be ignored by the promiser within hours.

With that said it may seem the meaning of the day is lost on me.

Untrue.

For many years I did celebrate it in a way that was more meaningful to me than what is good sense to most people. Two months ahead of the actual day, I ordered 1 dozen each of red, white, pink, long-stemmed roses. The evening before February 14 was spent tying a length or two of curling ribbon at the base of the rose. Securing a large vase with water on the front passenger seat of my car, it was a delight to me to hand the roses out to people who it might bring happiness to, to have one. Gender, age, race, relationship status, it was for everyone.

On that day, everyone was my boo.

If you have ever been in a school where the student council, cheerleaders, etc. delivered things to students in their classes on certain occasions, that was what it felt like. Though I was the one delivering them, it gave me the same thrills as though I was the recipient. Seeing the surprise & joy it created for others that was actually a bonus. 

Spreading pixie dust.

This year, deciding to do something differently, shake things up, make it feel fresh, new.

On the night before - Friday the 13th - turning off all electronics before 6 pm. Phone, laptop, iPad, smart TV.

The only electronic device I left on was a stereo with pre-recorded ocean sounds. The ocean waves, gurgles of dolphins, whale song. Sea birds calling out in the distance.

It was magic.

As a gift to my dog, PJ, giving him a deep cleaned crate & new blankey made him happy. He gently took the new blankey from me, unfurled it, jumping then waving it through the air like a flag of victory. Taking his new blankey into his crate, he sniffed around it with his tail wiggling fervently. Yeah, it made him happy.

On February 13, I had prepared my Caeser Salad. A personal recipe that I like. Iceberg lettuce, arugula, goat cheese, kalamata olives, a sprinkle of fresh chopped basil & my home-made creamy Caesar dressing. Just 1/2 tablespoon to accentuate the flavors. Having made 2 loaves of keto cloud bread, just 1 slice was enough.

Of course, I did the usual for PJ. Rising from bed, brushed my teeth, washed my face, changed from night clothes to day clothes. Took my supplements, downed 8 oz of water. Fed PJ his morning meal, we went out the door to the park for him to have fun running & sniffing.

PJ is still energetic after an hour at the park. We arrived home; in repose on my bed to drink in the richness of ocean song.

Closing my eyes to a light flutter, pondering on what the people of the ocean might be saying. Letting the richness of whale song engulf me. With imaginings of being there. Communicating with fascinating creatures in their own languages. As a polyglot 5, languages fascinate me. The pitch, cadence, little pauses in slight breath.

Whipping up feelings, emotions of what they might be feeling. What they might be communicating. The sub-text.

Hey Fred, watch out for the sharks today, they're cranky.

Did you see those big boats! I could drench every person on them.

Hmm, after those bulls got done, I might be expecting a calf.

That cutie I was with was as big as a whale, oh, she is a whale.

The wave of krill looks promising today. Time to breech.

Those female dolphins are cute, too small, still cute.

How deep should I swim today, trying to beat the record.

Maybe I ought to tell the calves to stick close, today. The current is getting strong.

Thanks be to Triton who protects us all, who preserves us all from whale killers.

I'm a whale, I'm so majestic. Orcas are pretty. Dolphins are the comedians of the ocean. Tuna is the chicken of the sea. Charlie.

Closing my eyes, intending it to be just for an instant. I worked until the wee morning hours. A bit of a relaxing nap is good.

Softly drifting into a dream.

I'm a mermaid. Long flowing hair, emerald, green eyes that match the shimmer of my powerful fins, wide tail for speed. The current is strong as I swim along, feeling it as it smooths over my body.

Fully enjoying the sensations of my surroundings. 

Escaping the day to day can feel like I pressed a reset button.

It was so enjoyable I might start doing this for every Valentines Day.

Essences

Shades of green of gold of blue

Nuanced within my mind

As memories often will do

Feelings of profound surprise

First time first love first look

Into a loved ones very eyes

The essence of a soul so soft

It can buoy a heartbeat

To such a clamor aloft

All it takes is a song a scent a touch

Yeets one back in time in an instant

To one once loved so much

The loved one is gone is missed is still there

In the place carved out just for them

Gone from this life still is everywhere

An intricate balance of here of gone away

Eye catching ear catching a scent or sound

In an audio pareidolia attention grabbing way

Imagination can run loose for a while

Until it becomes crystal clear

Then brings forth such a sheepish smile

Is it real was it real for others to hear to see

Then comes the touchdown back to earth

Imagining was only running away with me

 

Talking Dog

Get me started talking about the fascinating world of dogs. How they think, what they do, how to train them, how to solve behavior issues. Although it's fascinating for me, it might bore others.

In a better world people would be required to take classes & pass a test so they would be a caring, responsible dog owner. Then, the pet & owner would be checked in on 4X yearly for 5 years to see how things were going. The lives of dogs would greatly improve. 

Maybe the evils forced upon dogs would lessen or even cease. 

I can hope. 

The horrendous practice of forced mating that is perpetrated on dogs by evil people who care more about money than they care about the harm they cause helpless animals.

Often the male is placed on top of the female, his instinct is so overwhelming, it takes over. Many of these evil people zip tie the male on top of the female. The zip tie is across the male dogs back where the skin is thicker, covered in fur. 

The zip ties are tight, across the females' belly where the skin is very sensitive, with much less fur or none at all. 

The zip ties cut into her thin skin on her belly, red welts are vividly forming.

Just as evil, some of the horrible people will turn the dogs once a coital tie happens. Then, the two dogs are butt to butt, the dogs are zip tied or tied with ropes or rags by their back legs.

The female dogs are more traumatized than the males, mostly.

Often the female dog is too small or too young to breed with a male dog 2 - 4 times her size. She is held down, tied up, her mouth is often tied closed with a rag or she is muzzled. Sometimes she is held down, squeezing her ears forcing her to endure the assault.

Foam is forming around her mouth as she screams in terror, maybe discomfort or actual pain.

Holding a female down to be raped, forcibly impregnated, is wrong.

IT IS rape by definition. An action sexual in nature, forced upon victim(s) who are helpless, unable to escape or defend themselves.

It's usually male humans doing this. Usually in Pakistan, India, The Philippines, Thailand, Vietnam, Russia, Ukraine.

Only a few are in the US, Canada, Great Britain. They seem to catch thrills, doing this. Often handling the animals' genitals, laughing about the females screams. Some of these creeps even have small children helping them.

It's completely unnecessary to force the dogs. They know what to do, they do it naturally. It's the people who are so evil, so stupid, so cruel.

How many dog abusers does it take to force dogs to mate. Usually, 10. 1 person to hold the female down as she is immobilized. 

1 person to muzzle the female, often has her mouth tied shut with rags, often her front legs are tied together. 1 person to take over for the forced mating. The person immobilizing her is often too tired because the female fought back so hard. 

1 person to wrangle the male dog. The male is often on a leash, lunging & fighting to get to the female who emits powerful pheromones during her reproductive cycle.

1 person to help hoist the male dog up by his neck to forcibly place him on top of the female dog who is often heavily squirming & crying out in terror.

1 person to video the disgusting scene, laughing at it all.

5 people ranging in age from 7 years up to watch it & laugh, make lewd comments.

Then there are the dog fights. Usually male humans, revving 2 dogs up, knowing the dogs will dually aggress. They turn the dogs loose on each other, video the fight, post it on You Tube. The male humans sound demonic when they laugh at the pain, chaos, eventual death of the weaker dog. 

Truly, I understand that many people need an income. Abusing animals is the wrong way to do it. It's simple to let dogs breed, naturally. 

When a female is having her "heat" cycle, which is a female dogs menstrual time, she knows when she is the most fertile. She has it 2 times yearly. When she is not ready or doesn't like the male dog chosen for her, she won't accept him. When he tries to engage with her, he will usually lick her all over. Yes, all over, there, too. He may whine a little. 

If she isn't ready or doesn't like the male dog, she will sit or lay down, denying access to her private parts. When the male dog is too persistent, irritating her, she will snap, growl, sometimes even attack the male.

He seems to get the hint. If not, he suffers.

When mating is forced, it can traumatize the female. If she is not "ready" as in not aroused enough to have a naturally lubed hoo-ha, it can damage her internally. She instinctively knows the right time. Her vaginal walls are delicate, almost as thin as tissue paper. When that is respected, she will tease the male dog, putting her backside in sniffing range, playfully bowing. Skipping close to the male, then moving away.

This is doing more than just playing hard to get. When the female is teasing the male, it sexually arouses him, yes, he gets an erection to facilitate successful mating. It also makes her lubed, ready to mate.

Some male dogs will only play & court the female for as short as 3 minutes. Some male dogs will play along, courting her for as long as it takes. She will cooperate with his attempts to mate. Then, mounting her he penetrates what looks like a little pudding cup. 

Sometimes, if the male won't court her to make her comfortable with mating with him. She may walk or run away. 

(If only more human women were this way.)

 

If the male dog won't court the female to her liking, she will find another male who will. Human females can learn from this.

Mating can range from very uncomfortable to searing pain as many females cry out, scream, try to get away, the male dog seems to enjoy it, he keeps going no matter what. 

He shivers, shakes, pants heavily.

His organ swells up inside the female's vagina. They are stuck together until one or both dogs become relaxed after as short as 10 - 15 minutes, sometimes much longer. Then, when mating is complete, when both dogs are relaxed, the swelling subsides, they separate naturally.

It's often easier for the female if her owner pets her, comforts her. Eases her anxiety, her discomfort. Most male dogs just go for it, enjoying the act. Disregarding the terrified yelps of the female. The male dogs often have as little choice as the female.

Just as the order of biology is in humans, the male is done. Off to copulate with other females. The female dog is left with the enormous burden of enduring pregnancy, the pain of whelping the puppies. Then, she is the food source for her puppies for almost 2 months.

You Tube allows forced mating videos even when the female is screaming in agony. You Tube allows the content to be posted. 

Even years after I have reported it.

It's still up. 

Since YT allows it, more & more of the abusive videos get posted.

As it was causing so much depression, sadness, even anxiety in me, I had to begin steering clear of such videos. Especially as it was realized that You Tube doesn't care that these abusive videos are on their site. As long as the $$$$ rolls in.

In place of actually caring about the horrendous abuse to the dogs. people (usually guys) will video the truckloads of dogs. Most often crammed into a net in an open-air truck bed, bound for the butcher, to process them for their meat.

Now that that's out there.

Many people have expressed concerns to me about issues with their dogs. As there are just a few things I have natural talent with.

I must be a real bi--h as there is an understanding of dogs as part of a deeper nature in me.

Here are a few free tips

#1 My dog won't eat, doesn't like their food.  If a person or people in the household are slipping the dog(s) people food, of course the dog(s) won't eat their specific dog food.

It neither smells as good nor is as tasty as that which humans have. 

Two points, here. A dog's strongest sense is their sense of smell. It's how a puppy finds its way to their mother's teat for their first meal right after birth. Puppies are whelped with their eyes sealed closed. They are guided to their mothers' teats by their keen sense of smell. The pup's eyes only open after 10 - 15 days. Then, their vision is a bit blurry until they are around 1 month in age. 

*Anything warmed up has a stronger scent*

When a dog's food is warmed, the scent intensifies, makes it irresistible to dogs. For my dog, I buy a large cut of ribeye every month, dice the meat, portion it into individual containers. Every time I feed my dog, I lightly cook it in a little water in a small saucepan that is ONLY used for my dogs food prep. Measuring & pouring my dogs dry kibble into the small saucepan, on top of the cooked meat, making sure to turn the heat off so that the food is slightly warmed not cooked or burned.

It only takes a little bit of meat. One ribeye lasts a little over a month, doing this.

*NOTE*

Warm your dogs food in a saucepan on the stove.

Never in a microwave oven.

Although it takes a little more time, a microwave oven will degrade the nutrient in dog food.

My dog eats all of it, even licking the dish for a minute afterward.

#2. My dog won't listen to me.

Dogs, even very smart dogs, do better with one-word commands. Names with one syllable

One or 2 max personal or affectionate names. 

Of course, you can give them one or 2 or three or four or more names or commands.

That's fine for humans.

It makes less sense for dogs.

Simplify, for their sake.

One syllable for their sake, two as a maximum.

Dogs understand it more, respond better, enjoy life a bit more with their hoomans. 

Catch your dog doing something right. Lavish praise on them, saying their name over & over, in happy, soothing tones.

It will help the dog to associate praise, attention, affection with acceptable behavior. Often, when a dog has done something that is an unwanted behavior, many people say the dog's name in a sharp, angry voice. When the dog's name is said, they will associate it with being in trouble.

Dogs are smart, they know, mostly, how to avoid trouble.

Practice, saying your dog's name in a soft, soothing voice, lavishing praise, affection when the dog responds by coming to you.

#3. Dogs are natural foragers. 

Instead of repeatedly handing over a treat, break it into small pieces. Scatter the pieces in a small trail as long as 25 feet on a smooth surface such as linoleum or tile. Let them follow the trail, nibbling as they go. Also, taking a long length of fabric, put one or two morsels such as dry kibble or anything the dog can eat, every inch or 2, rolling the fabric after adding a morsel.

You can also use small, fun toys instead of food.

#4. Personal pets live at the mercy of humans. They can easily become anxious, fearful. More. This looks like aggression in a dog. 

Giving your dog a set routine so they know what to expect, shows so much love & care. It may take some adjusting for you & your dog. The dog will be happier because of it. They usually become calmer, happier, less prone to excessive barking or redesigning your furniture or favorite shoes.

Here's a bonus tip of that ilk.

**Canned air that is used to clean computer keyboards, has a very bitter taste. After shutting my laptop down, I clean the keyboard with an alcohol wipe & spraying it with canned air.

The next day when I was using my laptop, at lunch, I was eating from a bowl of blueberries. The taste was very bitter. It was from the canned air.

Getting an idea, I sprayed a piece of furniture that my dog had tried to sneak over & chew. 

Canned air is safe for dogs; it just tastes terribly bitter. It might make sense to the dog that chewing on the furniture is not a choice.

There was no scent, there's an absence of color or discoloration. The next time my dog inched over to the sofa, I let him go for it. Immediately, when he put his mouth on the sofa. He backed away so fast he fell over. He kept letting his tongue hang out & sloshed in his water dish. He stopped after a few minutes, so, it was certain it was temporary. He was fine after that, so was my sofa.

Although I might get some criticism for this, my dog isn't allowed on my furniture or on my bed. Or even in my bedroom. Dobermans are notorious bed hogs. He's a big love bug. He would force me out of my own bed. Also, a less endearing trait is the farts that could kill a tiger.

With my sensitive nose, I can't let him sleep in my bed.

He has his own places to lay on, to sleep on.

Investing in a co-sleep bed has been wonderful It's comfortable for humans & their pets. 

Since deciding to stop using stimulants to keep me focused on overnight work at home, taking a 3 - 4-hour nap works. I will admit, I took naps on the floor with a pillow & blanket. Before, I felt a bit sad, napping in my bedroom as PJ whined outside my closed bedroom door. Before, I left the door opened so he could see me, hear me, smell me.

No joy.

The door was opened, so, he saw it as an invitation.

Being awakened by the foul stench of Dobie-farts was so disgusting.

Co-Sleep bed it is!

PJ is now a bit over 2 years in age. So happy to have him.

If you are a dog owner, please be kind, be patient with your pup(s).

Sweetie Pie

When I take road trips it's always there, a gift from my second daughter. A holder for my cellie, voice navigation. Such a useful modern invention. My second daughter gave the cellie holder to me, even installed it on my dash for me. Every time I see it, I think of her.

When my daughter was very small, she was very shy. She would burrow her face into my chest to avoid attention from strangers. It was so sweet. She was born with straight brown hair. As she grew, her hair naturally curled into beautiful little ringlets around her sweet face. Soft red streaks began to emerge in her hair. My mother had the same curly hair, curly, beautiful bright red.

As time went on, my daughter showed signs of being very intelligent while also being a sensitive little soul. 

My little apple, close to my tree.

Constantly, I worked hard on myself to be kind, to be mindful of my sensitive little sweetie pie. Because I had a childhood where my boundaries & my feelings were constantly breeched, I had to be so mindful of her feelings though I know I failed more than a few times. 

I was not a perfect mother, though I tried so hard to be. To give my children warm fuzzies even as their dad undermined my efforts.

As my sweetie pie grew, she struggled with sensitivity, self-esteem, confidence. I did whatever I could think of to help her. When I received a large amount of money, I gave it up so she could go to a special camp, dedicated to showing love & care to teenagers.

She loved it! Came home just glowing, happy, it was worth the money, to me. Expensive, $1200. Worth it, to me. To see her glow.

There was a song I had heard on a streaming service. 

"She Don't Know She's Beautiful"

To help my sweetie pie feel loved, I bought the CD. When she came home from anywhere, I'd put that song on, dance her around the kitchen & living room. It made her smile & laugh.

Now, when I'm in my car or out in public, when that song plays, I try to stop the bittersweet tears. I fail every time.

When my sweetie pie was turning 3 (?) we were on an airplane. She fell asleep, I decorated her seat. Tried to wake her up in time to hear the captain leading the whole plane in the "Happy Birthday" song. It took some work on my part. I don't know if she remembers it or not.

When she was about to be 11, we were a USAF military family living in Kaiserslautern, Germany. She had loved lambs since before she was born. She did summersaults in my womb whenever a sound of a lamb played. Although, our house was all packed up, prepping for a move to Howard AFB, Canal Zone, Republica de Panama.

I borrowed some lamb; personal size cake pans. Borrowed a baby bathtub for a "treasure" dig. Borrowed a lamb, yes, a real lamb for the day. I couldn't give her a lamb as a pet as we were military, constantly moving. I could give her a lamb birthday party, including the lamb. 

I went to a German store to buy 4 lbs of viola seeds, aka johnny jump ups. Portioning them out, each party guest had a turn walking the lamb & scattering flower seeds through the forest. People who have gone to that spot have told me that it looks like a little fairy land. That the little flowers line the path through the forest behind the place where we had lived at the time. It's a legacy of my sweetie pie & my love for her.

When she was close to her 16th birthday, I wanted to give her a celebration. She & her older sister had gone to hula class to learn the beautiful art of hula. Hawai'ian Dance.

One of our neighbors let us use her huge backyard. We invited every one of her friends from school, everyone in the neighborhood, everyone from church & the hula group. 

My eldest created really nice invitations to pass out.

I counted over 300 people at the birthday party.

We had 100 lbs BBQ ribs, 100 lbs BBQ chicken, 15 sliced pineapples, 40 cups of cooked rice, 35 loaves of homemade bread. Sams biggest cake wasn't big enough, so, I bought 2. Plus 6 gallons of ice cream. My eldest & my sweetie pie put on a beautiful show, dancing for the crowd. It was so much work; it was so worth it! Afterward, I was exhausted, got a really nasty case of flu. 

I would still do it all again, to me, it's the fun part of being a mother.

When my sweetie pie left to go into the USAF, I cried so hard. Her father put all of her stuffed animals in the trash. I picked them out, saved them for her. Those stuffed animals were treasured momentos of her childhood. Treasured memories from those who loved her.

Now, my sensitive sweetie pie is all grown up. She has accomplished so much, I get a feeling that she is just getting started.

 

Him

There's something in the way he speaks. The way he carries himself. It's as if he knows himself very well. Knows who he is, what his mission in life is plus exactly what to do to fulfill it.

Confidence in spades.

Well mannered.

Articulate.

Intelligent.

When I spend time with him, I say to myself over & over:

"Hold onto those thick walls around your heart. Don't fall for him".

Then, I see his car advancing toward me. A nice, rugged looking car. A manly sort. 

He's just the right height, just the right build, a killer smile, always smells clean. That's important for my sensitive nose.

He's just right for hundreds of women.

We only talk.

About everything.

Not knowing if he is married or has a shack up honey or a steady girlfriend. It doesn't matter to me. 

In 2012 after having my trust deeply betrayed, I wrote a promise on my heart to be single & celibate.

It has worked well for me.

Spending my time helping others, working a lot, of course PJ is there for all of it. Have not traveled with PJ as of yet. 

Mr Wonderful even admires my dog.

Indulging in hobbies I'm passionate about. Yes! 

Every time he and I speak, I make my exit when he's about to ask me out for anything.

Hurting his feelings or his pride is far from what I would do. Knowing so well how it feels to be emotionally wounded, it would hurt me deeply to do that to him. This magnificent man.

Keeping our interactions casual is akin to being in very deep water, laboring to stay afloat, sinking or drowning is a no-fly zone. 

Falling in love is completely off the table.

Many people believe they have fallen in love when really, they have fallen in BS, unable to realize it.

Staying objective, living realistically, keeping my heart safe. The peace, happiness, even a bit of excitement that my 2012 decision has given me is worth more than anything.

If I could tell any single person as in unmarried, no bf/gf, no shack up, playing house. Someone who is suffering greatly from longing for a bf/gf, husband or wife, feeling the pain of loneliness.

I would tell you this.

The pain of loneliness is caused by fighting the adjustment to being alone. Fighting the contentment in your own company.

When a person learns to be happy being single, being content on their own, they won't be trapped by gravitating to the wrong person out of:

Fear

Loneliness

Peer pressure

Societal pressure

Offers of material things

Financial security

Being seen as valuable

Liaison with a narcissist

These are all the traps that people often fall into. One of them is just as damaging as being trapped by more than one.

When a person is content as they are, there is an absence of trapability by romance scammers. 

A new sort of trap has started to gain traction as it has become more refined, more realistic. 

AI "friends".

Yep, I'm going to go there.

These AI traps have become so sophisticated, seem so real. When something catches my attention, it seems to me that it caught my attention for a reason. Time to check it out.

The AI is a customizable online companion. Everything that ticks every box a person could choose is available. I do mean everything.

Yeah

I gave it a spin.

One week, having already decided that I would try it out for one week. So as to stay out of the trap, deleting after one week is necessary.

What was my experience?

Stay tuned.

Is it really okay?

It's okay to hate your mom hate your dad

Hate yourself too

Tell others of it you testify it to be true

Take all of that pain rolled in breadcrumbs of rage

Feed yourself made up truths

Shizz you invented page by page

Forget what your mother did for you for so many years

Her sacrifice in giving her all

The many times she cried for you in anguish and in tears

Easy to forget that she gave her all

With love to benefit others

Only to have to accept the fall

It only lasts as it's so often said

Until it's realized by so many

After she is declared dead

It continues on in deep motherly care

The love echoes in time forever more

It's forever for always it stays there

My Baby

Dobie butts are so cute, Can you see the heart shape?

How much does he love me

Something I often ponder

As we go on silent walks

Through the trails we wander

Does he feel how much I love him

As we share our watermelon & steak

That's real love right there folks

Something that is tough to fake

Eyes are the windows to the soul

So often though many have said

If the nether eye of his were

He would smell as if he were dead

He wakes then sleeps at random

Or when he hears the sound

Of a crackling snack wrapper bag

He can cross the house in 1 bound

Growing so fast as I watch

Cannot stand for us to be apart

With him I'll never pee alone

This dog has burrowed into my heart