5 Things No One Told Me About

News Flash ~

This life is the only one you get!
There are  a few merciful do-overs in life.

^
That's the good news!

For the fortunate ones, childhood is the best part of life. Needs are met, sometimes before the need is actually felt. Those fortunate children are born with everything they need to start life as a whole, fully formed person. Born into a 2 parent family, planned for, prayed for, wanted & bathed in love from the start. Often it continues on through adolescence into adulthood. This is the ideal, anyway!
It's a great start in life!

Now, to the "meat" in this post. 

Things no one told me about, or maybe I was told & heard yet it went unheeded.

~ No one told me that sugar & dairy foods were so very bad for my health! Ice cream was nearly a dietary staple in my parents home. Candy was everywhere, all the time. Even when actual food was in short supply.
Dairy foods & sugar contribute to belly fat as well as many other maladies. Most often, dairy products & sugar are served together. Such as ice cream, puddings, cheese cake, etcetera.
As a result, continuing to indulge the same as I had in my childhood, led to my struggle with obesity.
BTW ~ I overcame the struggle to become a gymfox! Ha ha!

~ People will lie to you, use you or worse to get what they want from you.
Living in a small town from early childhood to the age of 18, from a large family. Family members surrounded me for the most part. Of course, it was a less than ideal family life & there were members of the family to be wary of, yet, relatively safe. Or, unsafe, relatively. Pun intended!
Nothing prepared me for just how much evil is out there in the world. Leaving my parents home, I thought that most people were basically good, a hug, as a greeting was just standard.
Oh buddy! I had to curb that!

~ Guys will do just about anything to get laid. 
Lie constantly, spend money. "Fake a relationship" tactics are very common.  Learning this, then re-learning after divorce was such a difficult, painful lesson. 
P.S. Am still learning, always learning. Players are quite skilled!

~  Breaking a sweat is good for you!
Remembering things I was told from as far back in life as I can remember, I was told that it was bad to sweat. 
No. 
I was told that it was bad for a girl to be seen sweating!
As a result, strenuous exercise that would keep me strong, healthy & fit with a toned body was something I avoided. It was later in life that I began to got to the gym on a daily basis. Sweating, grunting, leaving the gym looking like a hot lil mess! :)
Going forward is best, happy I dispelled that destructive myth. 

~ People do NOT get what they deserve.
People DO get what they negotiate for. This is why attorneys can make a living. Many, though not all, are masterfully trained negotiators. 
Of course, with cameras placed everywhere in today's world, people are less able to lie, abscond, burgle, rape, murder, cheat on spouses, without being discovered. Accountability is more likely.

******************************************************

These are just the top 5.  There is so much more to learn, then re-learn in this increasingly complex world.
 

Do you love it or not so much?

As it's been a minute since I started living the health & fitness lifestyle, it's a bit puzzling to hear this around the gym & gym people.

People who are in the gym are giving their all. Grunting, sweating, sometimes even screaming or swearing. Sounds like sex! Ha ha! Yeah! Made you smile!

For all the time, energy & kalla people put into working out it's surprising to hear people exclaim~ 

* I got it done
* Glad it's done for the day
* I got through it
* Glad it's over

Perplexing to this chik!

When my workout is finished, it's more like ~

* Daaaang I feel good!
* I'm HUNGRY!
* Whew, I stink
* Now watch me whip, now watch me nae-nae

Working out makes me feel good. It's my cure-all for many maladies. Sadness, happiness, restlessness, boredom, hangover.

I L-O-V-E LOVE my workouts!

When finishing my workouts, I feel a slight disappointment in myself for becoming tired. I stop when I'm done. Being tired is a reason to keep going so the rest will be enjoyable, deserved, deep & satisfying. Like sex. lol.
There IS a correlation between the two.

Some days, I hit my workout harder, some days less vigor is involved, yet, I love doing it. I get excited when I step in the door to the gym & my body actually reacts with an elevated heart rate. The bright colors & lights alone are stimulating!

Now, this is the disclaimer.

The truth is, I am STILL striving toward my fitness goal. I don't have 6 pk abs, my BMI is not at 18. However, I'm going to continue to work at it.

I love my workouts, age is nearly irrelevant when you're in excellent health & excellent physical condition. 

Personally, most days I feel like I'm 25!

Exercise, lift, run, swim, train!

Be good to your body, it will make you a happier, healthier 

YOU!

Lack and/or The Feeling of Lack

Lack, in the dictionary is defined as:

The state of being without or the feeling of not having enough of something.

Some people in the world, sadly, lack enough food while others may have enough food, yet, lack love or the feeling of being loved whether they are or are not.

Must love yourself, first if you wish to be loved by others.

Seeing the demonstrata ( I made that word up just for fun!) of lack, lately, it gave me pause. In a restaurant, I saw a male of around 30 years of age, emptying the sugar & salt packets, into his pants pockets.

Witnessing a woman of around 25 years of age, grabbing 2 handfuls of ketchup packets, then 2 more as she dropped them into a shopping bag to take home, presumably. 

There's a difference between actually needing these staples, vs taking them out of a feeling of lack.
Maybe their mindset is, "Can always use more ketchup!"
or
"Love me some sugar-sugar!" 

Often, I will observe someone gathering up everything they possibly can at yard sales or anywhere they can. Possibly trying to fill up the empty places in their heart, in their mind. 

Anywhere there's a hollow spot that aches to be filled. The emptiness tells them, 
"I don't have enough" or 
"I'm not enough" 
or even sadly, 
"I will never be enough & I'm terrified that others can see this about me."

Some people try to fill the emptiness with having lots of sex with one person or having lots of sex with multiple people. It leaves them feeling just as empty.

There's a difference between accepting or buying something the person actually has a need for as in food, shoes or something they will actually use within a matter of hours or days.

The feeling of lack fuels the worldwide obesity epidemic. Don't believe me?
Watch a few interviews with people in the media who struggle with obesity. They struggle with a parallel mindset of worthlessness. 

When a person has a "gimmie - gimmie" attitude, wanting so much which is not a need, asking, demanding or just taking, it shows their lack of self love. 
This may seem harsh, yet, it's still true. 

The de-cluttering wave which I see sweeping the country tells me that many people might be waking up from feelings of worthlessness, turning away from the cancer of materialistic attitudes.

Maybe people will get a life away from electronic devices such as THEIR PHONES!, iPads, laptop, desk top, video gaming, online gaming.

Maybe, people will begin again to love people while only using things vs the reverse.

I can hope!

The Disappearance of the "the"

Here we go, peeps.

As one who is acutely aware, deeply curious, even a bit analytical, I have noticed this phenomenon for awhile.

Let's see if it has also captured your notice.

Music is essential to my world. Most music. The nasty, what I term as, "bitches & hoes" non-music, is less desirable to my ears. The ears are the window to my heart, I'm a girl! So, when I hear something that is out of harmony with what appeals to me, yes, it's just plain garbage to me.

Listening to music is a mood setting experience. It can rock me, it can soothe me, make me sad, nostalgic or energy charged! Listening to the words, vocals, the beat, the back-beat, the different instruments, the rhythm, it affects my mood.

Funny thing, time, it keeps moving forward. ;)

As time moves forward, the names of musical groups as well as performers have changed, evolved, maybe? devolved, maybe?

Musical groups names used to begin with "The" ala The Jacksons then The Jackson 5. The Bee Gees. Sometime in the 1990s, the "The" was dropped.
It became, Boyz 2 Men vs The Boyz 2 Men. 
Also see Backstreet Boys, sometimes referred to as "The Backstreet Boys. They are no longer "Boys", so, will they change to Backstreet Men? 

Also, performers started using pseudonyms that had nothing of a resemblance to their name on their birth certificates. While many performers use their given names, as hard as it is to believe, ala Prince, yup, ha ha! His real, given name. 

Then there's David Guetta aka Pierre David Guetta

Have you heard of Marshall Mathers? of course not. He WAS Slim Shady until he became Eminem.

Samuel Timothy Smith? He's Tim McGraw.

Even John Denver was not John born as Denver. He was born with the name John Henry Deutschendorf. Rolls off the tongue a bit differently, hmm?

Destiny Hope Cyrus? Nope. Miley Cyrus!

Reginald Kenneth Dwight? He's Elton John when he's on stage!

Gordon Sumner is simply ~ Sting!

John Frances Bongiovi is less sexy than Jon Bon Jovi!

Ellen Regina Edwards? nope. She's Shania Twain!

Brian Hugh Warner = Marilyn Manson!

Stevlan Hardaway Judkins = Stevie Wonder!

Anna Mae Bullock? Ha ha. Tina Turner!

If you wish to re-invent yourself, change your name to something fabulous. If you're happy with the name you were born with, consider yourself blessed.

When an online poll was taken, a surprising 63% of respondents said that, if given the chance, they would change their birth name.

The evolving of names groups & people has been changing for a few decades, it seems fascinating to me. Just a little narcissistic, maybe. There's a lot that comes to bear in words, in names. In "The" names, if you will.

Why not?
(That's rhetorical)

Have some fun with it! Be who you are at whatever name you have or whatever name you choose to have.

Are you a giver?

Yeah, you know what this is about. If you don't know, then, most likely, you're less of a giver.
No worries!
No shame, this is a guilt free zone.

The anatomy of the mindset which makes a person more of a giving person seems to be more complex than it appears to be on the surface.

Many people who give to get will say that doing something for others is like pissing in a pair of black pants. You get a warm feeling, yet, no one notices. It can also begin to stink after awhile if you're doing it for all the wrong reasons.
Others give out of a need to feel wanted, needed.
Sometimes there is the "super friend" approach. Someone wants to be a friend or more to someone, so, they buy gifts, do enormous favors, shower the other person with compliments.
All of this they do, to gain approval.

Sometimes this works. Most often, it leaves the one who is giving for all the wrong reasons, with nothing, plus the feeling of being drained of energy, hope. Leaves them with cold pricklesvs warm fuzzes.

Their umwelt is skewed.
aka
They're mentally/emotionally screwed! 
Many of these poor unfortunate souls (ala Ursula!)blame others when, in reality, they do it to themselves.

The healthy approach, is to give to yourself, first. Even the air travel industry tells people the simple principle of putting your own oxygen mask on FIRST during an emergency before trying to help others.

Fill your own well before you offer water to others.

For these very reasons, it is very healthy to have constructive hobbies.
Hobbies are for the pure pleasure of doing something for the self. It gives back as it's own raison d'etre.

For givers?

Hobbies can be crucial to mental health, personal happiness, replenishing the mind, body, even the spirit.
This strikes a balance between giving to the self as well as to others.
Balance is key.

This is a tough lesson to learn for us, givers.

Yup, I'm a giver and I know it. :)

I have a few hobbies that replenish my soul, make me feel good. People will receive anything and everything you want to give them, they may give back occasionally. Don't count on them, don't hold your breath!
Give to others only as much as you can give without stripping yourself down to depletion.

My hobbies give me a head rush, a feeling of satisfaction, a feeling of happiness. Giving to myself vs expecting others to give to me. They may or may not. It isn't their job to insure your happiness! It's YOUR job!

While I DO write poetry, it's more of an outlet for emotions than anything. Having always been a writer since the age of 4 years, it's stuck with me.

Needlework came along in my very early 20s, it's a passion for me. As an unschooled giver, I gave some beautiful needlework pieces to many people. 
Probably, 75% of the recipients didn't appreciate the time, the care & artistic expression I gave to them. Most of them probably didn't understand the many hours of love I had put into them.
To give mention, there are several people who DO appreciate the needlework gifts I gave, they still cherish it, to this day.

FITNESS! Not the "fitness pizza in mah mouf!" Ha ha! Fitness & living the healthy, fitness lifestyle does a lot of good for me. It gives back to me as its' own reward.

It was up to me to grow, gain understanding, then, learn to either not give at all or only give selectively.
Blaming others for their lack of appreciation is futile.
Taking personal responsibility for actions of giving or not giving is key.
Personal power, Skippy!
Healthy boundaries, Sparky!

Happy life, heroes!

Tschuss!

Do you know who you are? Do you know what you want?

 Do you know who you are?

Yes. 
First, a confident woman who chooses to be kind as often as possible. A lover of peace, a mischievous elf, a vulnerable girl deep inside of herself.

Do you know what you want?

Yes.
To love & be loved. The rest is just cream.

Do you know who you are & what you want?

The Library is a Noisy Place!

Correction ~ The Graham, Texas library is a noisy place!

When, I wonder, did people start having loud conversations, letting their children run, scream & howl in the library?
More specifically, the Graham, Texas Library.

Having gone to many libraries, I have never encountered this level of noise in those. Even Barnes & Noble is more silent.

When the children aren't screaming, crying, howling, running & playing in this library, the people over the age of 10 are just as loud.
Oh, don't you dare talk on your cell phone, too loud! Better use headphones if you want to listen to something online! It might drown out the loud conversations the staff are having. They might not be able to hear each other over your noise!

You only get 2 hours, per day, NO EXCEPTIONS! So, ya better make it as best you can. No emergency is dire, no exceptions made. PERIOD!

When did this library become such a noisy place?

When did adults, patrons as well as staff, begin to believe that talking with their "outside voice" was okay in this library?

If you have an emergency & need to print anything, if you have used up your allotted 2 hours, forget it! 
The Graham library manager is a rigid, no exceptions, EVER, type of manager. Seems to believe in absolute rule!

If you have loud children, if you enjoy talking loudly & your kids are cranky & loud? You will fit right in at the Graham, Texas library. 

Just keep your cell phone & your computer speakers QUIET!!! If you don't, you'll be asked to keep it quiet or leave. It's a shame that the patrons who come to this library can't enforce the same standard upon the library manager & staff.

Someday, Maybe

This may not be the answer for anyone else but me
Not standing on a soapbox saying how we all should be

Because my heart is tender with nerve endings so tangled
Because my heart has been so hurt that it could appear mangled

Maybe you can tell my baby who died in 2007
Maybe I hung on too long after he went to heaven

It's now my life focus to keep my heart, mind & body pure
Many people see this as a lifestyle beyond obscure

Knowing this is the only way to preserve my peace of mind
Had to leave that part of myself behind

Working on myself to build a better body with a clear spirit
Every day I'm closer as I work hard to draw near it

Dreaming of the day when I can walk through that door
To hold and be held as close as I was held before

A man worthy or trust of the risk that accompanies caring
Worth the time it takes for loving, laughing & sharing

Are guys less attracted to smart women?

This is probably going to seem a bit inflammatory, hence the red lettering.

Keep reading!

From my personal experience, I would sway toward, a yes. As in, YES. It seems that guys are less attracted to smart girls, chix, women, etc.
Maybe, it's not so much that they are not attracted to a smart woman. Maybe, it's the guys who let their insecurity rule them, who are not attracted to smart girls. :)
Afterall, a more intelligent woman will call him on BS that a less intelligent woman might not notice or she might let him slide more often.
Sounds like a lose-lose situation to me, 2 losers, there.

I digress.

Interestingly, a prior BF pointed out to me that a smart girl or woman is more difficult to control. He said it, not me!

Guys, as much as you may loathe hearing this, most guys have the need to control, to a lesser or greater degree. 
Most military guys, guys in more male dominated professions have more guys who have the need to control their woman and their world.
This doesn't make them bad, as long as it's not too excessive, it just makes them human. Guy type humans, who I love!

A woman who is in charge of herself, her finances, her career. A woman who has an intelligent mind with sharp thought processing capability scares the helloutta most guys.
If she is sharp enough & confident enough to call him out on his crap, it will make him squirm a bit which, let's face it, isn't very comfortable for anyone unless you're a worm!

Guys, I get it. 
Girls/Women can be very intimidating to a guy/man.
The more you're attracted to her, the more intimidating she is.

A smart girl?
Terrifying!
Forget trying to control her.
She has you by the short hairs just by looking back at you when YOU look at her.

A guy with confidence might still feel intimidated, yet, hallelujah! 
He will STILL approach her, talk to her, compliment her.

A single guy with enough confidence to overcome this intimidation is the best kind of guy. They are actually very rare.

Why?

Because the guys with confidence usually get married younger & most often, tend to stay married or stay married the longest.

I don't consider myself to be threatening, intimidating or even a highly intelligent person, however......................
Yeahhhhhhh, you felt this comin' up the tracks, hmm?

Having been told by many guys that they find me a bit intimidating due to my abilities & experiences:

Speaking multiple languages
World travel experience
Life experience
Self Confidence

It seems like those factors would make someone more attractive, not less appealing?

Guys!

The world would be a bland place to live without you.

Can't live without the men in the world.

Take heart, be confident! Often, the ladies are just as intimidated by you!

XOXO

This is why I won't go for a quick workout.

Actually, anything quick is unappealing to me.

I do mean ANYTHING QUICK.

If it's quick, it usually feels artificial, unsatisfying, therefore, no.
Just, no thank you.
*smile*

Some people are less jazzed about getting a workout in. They sometimes do it, just to get through it. This tells me that they have not found a workout that they enjoy.
Think of it this way.
If there is a food you're less than happy to eat, you won't get motivated to eat dinner or lunch or breakfast if something unappealing is on le menu.
Truth?
Truth!
Having gone through the fitness fire, I know less than I want to about fitness. Knowing more than I did a few weeks ago is thrilling! Being a constant student for life is how I live! 

Of course, feeling less motivated some days, more motivated on other days is par for the fitness life. It's a life choice.
Do you want to be healthy?
Strong?
Fit to fight?
Do you want to have better sleep? Better sex?
Rocking those clothes that make you feel confident is a bennie!

Of course, there are alternatives, there always are.
Although most people know the alternatives, learning to live a fit, healthy, active life is just that. A learning process. 
In this age of information where all information is available, I challenge you!
Yup!
I challenge you, if you have always had "get into better shape" or "lose 50 lbs" on your mind or to-do list?
Be like Nike!
Just...well.....you know!

Do you like cream puffs?

This could be referring to the dessert, a light, flaky pastry, filled with whipped cream or other yumminess. Definitely not the infamous *cream pie*. Keep it clean, now!

People can only be who they are. Durrr! It's called being thelemic.
So, just git down witcher bad thelf! Be who you are. The practice of being true to oneself as well as a live & let live of realizing that all people have to do the same to be happy, healthy, wise, silly, sexy, mysterious.....otay, you got it. :)

I CAN be a cream puff, a bottle of bubbles, a sweet lil hott thang.
I can also be a total bitch.
Then, there's the happy medium.
Sweet, sassy, kind when needed, tough as nails the next moment.

Have been told that I'm a strong woman, yet, I CAN lean on others when necessary. I'm a "get shiizz done" girl, I form a plan & execute the plan. I can sway into plan "B", also C, D, E, then, so on, yet, sticking to Plan "A" is most comfortable.
Sometimes, I hop right out of my comfort zone, just because! 
No real reason, just to keep life fresh & interesting.

So, mon cherie, if you want a boring little cream puff 25/8, keep looking. 
With me? 
It can get a bit plot twistie, yet, always entertaining in a good way!

Remembering vs Forgetting

Do you struggle to remember or do you struggle to forget? Maybe a little bit of both.
Having a sharp mind with great recall can be a challenge. 
Although there are small bits missing here & there, they slowly fill in over time.
No more details, forthcoming. *smile*
Maybe having an excellent memory is genetics? Maybe, in part, due to the massive amounts of fish oil I take every day?
Whatever it is, I remember everything, in living color, BABY!

If I forget anything, it's most often likely because of a traumatic event associated with that which blissfully slipped out of my memory. A tender emotional & spiritual mercy.

When something momentarily slips from memory, I simply relax my mind, knowing it will come to me if I wish it. Chasing something will only cause it to elude me.

While going through USAF BMT, my T.I. (training instructor) identified my learning & memory process. He told me that I had to become a "List maker". Have made lists to help me remember, ever since then.
The need to write information down to remember important data is often connected to the elderly by ignorant ageists who fail to understand psychology & learning styles.

Find your learning style whether you are in the single digits of life, double digits or even nearing triple. 

Age is only a number, I'm living proof
 

Private World

What is a home to you? What does it mean? A temporary place to lay your head? A place that you buy to keep forever?
Home is what you make it, what you want it to be.

Personally, my home is a sanctuary. I never feel so safe that I can completely relax.
The world is a dangerous place, filled with predators of all sorts. Deceivers, cold & callous users of others. Having seen more than a fair share for one person in one lifetime, it's definitely made me more wary, jumpy, even. 
Being more of a domestic goddess, I love my home, love to stay there, curled up with an audio book or a relaxing concerto CD. A soft warm blanket & a steaming cup of tea. Heavenly!

Love to stay at home. 

It would make sense, then, that I love to beautify my home in simple, peaceful ways. 
The home that I moved into as of April 1, has character, charm and ......a built in dining table!

I had bought a bistro table at Pier 1 Imports for a suh-weet 75% off deal. It was different from anything I had previously owned. I was tempted to sell it when the big auction took place. Anita told me I should keep it.
Thanks, gurlie! 
The front, enclosed porch, is a beautiful spot to have lunch or breakfast with a guest. The table is just right for that area!

Different, hmm?

This window between the porch & the main part of the house was fun to arrange! When I had my catering service, I scoured the second hand shops in the Broadmoor area of Colorado Springs for wedding cake top pieces. At one time, I had almost 200! When catering a wedding reception, I would bring 10 wedding cake toppers for the happy couple to choose from, giving their choice to them as a gift. I also have some alabaster from Italy which is quite lovely. Middle right is a "sisters" figurine given to me by my dear friend, Cheryl. We go way back to 10th grade!

There is a window that I especially enjoyed boutiqing in a zen spirit!

I love these little glass stones, how they reflect the light.

Living with the beauty I create in my home gives me happiness. Even better?
It grounds me in the present moment.

namaste

The Month of May

Here we are.

It's the month of May.

The month of ~ yep ~ Mother's Day!

Recently, there was a conversation, which I heard, where 2 women were speaking of the condition of being a parent of adult children. One of them said something that rung very true!

She said:

"The way that you know if you truly had the love of your children is how well they keep in touch with you when they have moved out, away from parents, to start their adult lives.
If they REALLY loved their mother, they would be in contact. Their mother would not receive the hurtful silences for weeks, months & even years at a time."

This is true.

Myself?

I have had to endure this pain of adult children who don't call, nor email nor contact me unless they need something or want something from me. This has stretched into weeks, months, even years at a time. It's very telling. It hurts so much that I have had to refrain from having photos of my children on the walls of my home or in frames sitting on furniture. As much as my eldest daughter expressed desire for me to be a part of HER children's lives? It's impossible for me to be a part of her children's lives when she only comes around at her convenience.
I will maintain my dignity by only accepting the love & respect which is due for a mother, refusing to be treated as a convenience item to be picked up at leisure. 


Only 1 of my 4 offspring keeps in touch. Although her life is very busy, she still calls me every Sunday, visits when she can. 
She doesn't HAVE the time, she MAKES the time.

This principle can be applied to any relationship. A romantic relationship, parent - child, friendship.

No one is so busy that they don't have the time to maintain a relationship. How much they put into a relationship for you tells you where you are in importance to their list of priorities.

I only make someone a priority commensurate with how they treat me as a priority. As painful as it is, it's settling from searing pain, to a dull ache that 3 of my children disregard their mother.
Soon?
The love I pour into the one child who does care will be my focus.

In  time, the ones who don't care will fade from my heart.

It's their choice.

As hard as it is, for me, the choice is out of my hands in that aspect of life.

What is in my arena is to choose to be happy, no matter what!

Happy Mother's Day!

Choose happiness!

The Right One, The Left One

Have you heard this said before? The phrase is regarding who one is attracted to & whom a person will pass up.

"I don't have a type who I'm attracted to"
"I will know it when I meet them"
"Only a certain type of person does it for me"
"I'm not looking for a relationship"
(translation: I don't want to have YOU in a relationship)

Having heard derivatives of this, there is also:

I like it when a (girl or guy) knows what he/she wants.

This one is most often said by guys, yet, for the sake of being fair to both genders, well.....yeah. You probably get it!
What this generally means is that the person likes it when the other person knows what they want. As long as who & what they want is the other person & all they have to offer.

When the desired person knows what they want, yet, it isn't what the "desirer" has to offer, it's a bit disappointing.
The sting of rejection no matter how mild is still a sting. Sometimes it's a 'skeeter, sometimes it's a snake bite!!!!!

Personally? There are a few must haves for me to be attracted to someone. 
I will save the tedium of my oh so short list. 
One item which seems to be a constant is that I am most often yet not always, attracted to Military or prior Military guys. Most often, yet, am stressing, not always.

Having spent a time working on myself, I have come to a realization. Remaining single as an option which I have chosen is because I have not met the right guy. 
Sometimes I only think I have met the right guy only to be disappointed by finding he was no Mr. Right ~ 
he was Mr.Rightnow!
Sometimes he was someone else's Mr. Right ~ that's a no go.
Other times, he would seem right for me, then I would find one of my deal breakers hidden at first, revealed later.
Cuing you in ~
He was a cigarette smoker or user of tobacco & lied about it.
He was actually married & was lying about it.
He voted Obama ~ once or even worse, TWICE! zzzzt. gone.
He was a gentleman at first, then, started the sex talk & pressure. buzz kill, red flag. He is the left one when I left. :)

So, being the right one is far from being perfect, however, being just right for me is important.

Settling is a poor choice, working on myself. Mind, body, spirit is a better way to live. Refraining from looking for someone to complete me (that was a wee joke!) is more like, being myself & loving life. 

What ever is meant to be might not happen, yet, it might!

Being happy, either way is a sweet life. 💓