Secret or Private?

A new-ish playground to create or sponsor narcissism or narcissistic traits has been going strong for many years, now. People that would have remained relatively unknown or simply lesser known have become celebrities or "influencers." There are also the up & emerging as well as the wannabe's. With such a broad canvas on which to self promote, people who wish to reach out to touch the world can do so!

After taking photos of:

Their face

Their body

Their eyes

Their food

Their legs

Their artwork

Their pet(s)

Their children

Their flowers

Their clothes

Their jewelry

Did I leave anything out? 

The person will zoom or crop or enhance or edit out whatever it is that they might feel would make the photo less appealing. Then, the perfect photos will be shared online either with everyone online or sometimes certain people or groups.

This is fine, for many people. It's a new normal. Show it all, tell it all, hear it all, eat it up, blow it up. Look out for the trolls.

For people who enjoy sharing their lives with the world, they are free to do so! 

As for other people like me? I'm a more private person. When I make comments on a story, video or what have you? People will ask me to post pictures.

UGH!

As if my words or pictures matter to someone who I don't know. Some random person online who doesn't know me nor ever will.

Someone who either doubts the words or even enjoys the challenge of  getting a stranger to give them a 2 second thrill. They nearly demand photos from, again, someone they don't know at all

If I say my eyes are a light translucent green, they are.

If I say that I have lived in Europe & vacationed in Hawai'i, I have.

If I say that my hair has started growing faster because of a technique I started using, it has.

This list could become cah-razy long, I have zero proof of that, ha ha, it just could.

The need to provide proof to anyone & everyone of whatever I say, online, will exist as an unmet need! 

First, because I'm a lousy photographer, second because I hate taking photos of anything. Even photos of myself. That's my least favorite, though I do it or let others take my photo when they insist.

I REALLY hate having my photo taken very often. 1 or 2 is okay.

Part of the reason is that I have had 4 stalkers. 

When someone snaps a photo of me the control over where that photo will go or who will see it it's out of mine or anyone elses control. It's a fear, rational or not that a prior stalker or even a potential stalker will perchance see a photo of me online.

Then?

Possibly they will track me down, whatever the intent is, the potential for stalker #5 is there.

That's my fear, a legit fear as it has happened 4 times, before.

Another aspect?

While some people need or want that much attention, that's fine, if that's what they want.

Getting positive attention feels good. It gets the serotonin firing from neuron to neuron. It gives a warm, happy fuzzy to them.

They are welcome to it if it makes them happy.

Personally?

I need much less attention. The thrills that give me a boost are accomplishing translation of a 500 page document. The thrills that get the serotonin firing is working out or creating beautiful art with my hands.

I have a good life with all of my needs more than provided for. My need is far greater for privacy than it is for attention.

Just an average, single by choice, girl next door. Average in looks. Above average in compassion, intelligence, creativity, high energy & mostly positive in attitude. Most days. I have my highs with occasional lows.

If someone is hoping to catch thrills by demanding photo proof?

They can search for those seekers of attention. I'm long past a need for approval from John Q Public or Jane Q Public.

If anyone wishes to bring up who I was in the past? They will still be clutching air, I live in the present, now.

Ring your bell, find some wood, build a bridge then just get the bell over it. 

Some Enchanted Evenings

Having left my parents home at age 18, I had nearly zero life skills. No knowledge of cooking, cleaning, putting gas in a car, paying bills, managing time & money (sometimes they are the same thing). I didn't know that if you don't pay your phone bill that the phone company would terminate your phone service. 

The doctor who delivered my first baby, at age 23,  realized that I didn't know how babies are born. I knew how the baby got in there, my husband put her there. I had no foggy clue how the baby was going to get out. I was naïve to the point of embarrassment.

I didn't know how to cook. As a result? My dog wouldn't touch the food I cooked. He would smell it, groan, give me a look that said:

"I think I will pass, hooman."

Then, the dog would walk away, stick his head in the dog food bag, crunch-crunching away. Happily, my cooking skills have improved!

For this reason, I did my very best to teach my four darlings, in the time I had with them, as many life skills as I could. I was not a perfect mother, if you ask any of them, ha ha! They will tell you! They will tell you of the mistakes I made, all 4 different versions!😁

Along with life skills, I taught my progeny to be independent. Three lovely daughters & one handsome son. 💙

(Many times I told my kiddos that they got their looks from their father, they got their sharp minds from me!)

Teaching children from day 1 seems like an obvious principle. It seems like they will be forever in your care, that they will listen to their parents with wide eyed acceptance, even wonder, for life!

Umm, nope!

It usually starts out that way, most of the time it changes for a period of time. Sometimes they begin to listen to their parents, again. Most often, not. It's a normal, natural, mode of healthy development.

A phrase I used to hear a lot, from parents, usually when their children were, 12 - 21:

"The perfect child would be one that was buried at 10, dug up at 30."

The phrase is extreme, if you are a parent, I bet you just smiled, you might have also nodded your head in jesting agreement. 

If not?

Lighten up!

Of course, this is something that should NEVER be done, it's kinda fun to think about if only to preserve sanity during the teen years.

I wish that my children as well as many others of adult age would listen to me, to their parents. Those days are gone.

My second born, is a lovely daughter who dealt surprises constantly. I thought she was going to favor my side of the family, physically. In some ways she does. My mother was born with bright red curly hair. At 3 months of age, as the hair on my baby girls head grew, it began to fall in the prettiest, perfect ringlets all over her head! Little brown ringlets with small streaks of red from my mother.

Her hair looked like a halo. It was (still is!) so beautiful. 

To add to the beauty of it, she had natural red streaks in her hair. My mother had the same curl to her hair, except my mothers hair was a bright red which mellowed to auburn as time went on.

I remember holding my daughter for the first time. I was so amazed at how physically strong she was, how she could grasp my thumbs & pull herself up at less than 48 hours after being born.

So, it began. 

She was a strong willed, determined child with a dance she did to her own music. I was determined to teach her all that I possibly could in the time I had her, to help her when she got out in the world on her own.

She was born at Kapi'olani Medical Center, Honolulu, HI. 

If a person is born on an island, it's good for them to learn how to swim!

I knew that it was important for her, as well as whatever children I had, to know how to be a strong swimmer! The family theme seemed to be that we all loved being around water. A pool, the ocean, etc. 

When our military family was living in Kaiserslautern, Germany the Schwim Bads (Public swimming pool) were fantastic! Tiffany was only 6 years old, she was a very proficient swimmer. I had no problems with throwing coins into the 16 ft section of the pool for her to dive in to retrieve the coins.

Everyone else was horrified!!!!

They had no foggy clue how strong my girl was! She had learned to swim at around the same time she learned to walk at around 1 year old. She was a great swimmer, she was determined to get the coins. She believed she could, so, she did.

These events probably give you a good idea of who she is.

Of course she is more than just a beautiful young woman with curly hair, a strong will, sharp wit, an intelligent mind, kind heart, a successful USAF - NCO with a gorgeous singing voice. 

So much more.

Another theme in the family is that we loved to watch Star Trek, starting with ST: The Next Generation! This love for ST was definitely fostered by dear family friends, who recorded all 7 seasons of STNG then, sent them to us! It was a real treat to pop the popcorn & sit, together, watching the story unfold. We were "Engaged".

In present day, I still love Star Trek.

I divorced in 2007, moved on. Still love the stories of Star Trek.

The newest franchise in the series is Star Trek: Discovery. I was a bit unsure of it at first. 

Then?

The magic began to happen.

Michael Burnham is African American, my Tiffany is what is referred to in Hawai'i as hapa haole. Half caucasian, half of one of the people of Asian races that have made their home in Hawai'i.

That's one of the few major differences!

Someone once referred to Tiffany as a beautiful Hawai'ian princess.

The character of Michael Burnham (a female named Michael, yep!) could easily be my daughter, Tiffany. Michael Burnham is fierce! She was raised as a Vulcan as the daughter of Sarek & Amanda. Also? The unofficial sister of Spock. Yes, THEE Spock! Michael excelled at Suus Mahna. Vulcan martial arts. Tiffany loves Jiu Jitsiu!

The character is just as kind hearted as she is fierce, she's whip smart with a very quick wit. Having never heard Michael Burnham sing, it's undetermined if she has a pleasant singing voice.

OMGoodness!

The first time I heard Tiffany sing the national anthem at a sporting event at her high school..............I was completely blown away! She definitely got that from her father. I sing best when I sing tenor.

Ten or twenty miles from the nearest life form!

As I outlined in the experiences & descriptions above? I raised my children to be independent, free spirits. I raised them with life skills to get out there to make their positive contribution to the world. I raised them to forge a full, beautiful life for themselves.

As a result?

I don't see any of my children even once per year, which was very hard to get used to as well as sometimes is still painful. My youngest phones  me every Sunday which I love & cherish. She makes the strongest as well as most successful attempts to get together in person. If I reach out to my son, he is always there, reaching right back! My eldest is married to a man who dislikes me, is very possessive of my daughter along with their children, thwarts attempts I make to stay connected to my daughter & their 4 children, another painful situation I had to adjust to.

When I sit down to watch ST: Discovery, it feels like I'm spending time with my fiercely beautiful daughter, Tiffany. Especially, in Season 3, okay mostly Season 3. In it the character of Michael Burnham is more developed, more mature with deeper understanding of life. What it means to be alive, to love, to suffer loss.

Also, to rise up!

This is more about the meaning of my daughter, to my heart. I have a good life! As one of those people who prefers to live at a slower pace, always have, I still have a full life that allows me to take time to enjoy! My work schedule could consume my entire existence if I allowed it.

After a 12 - 20 hour stretch in a work assignment, I like to relax with working on a needlework project. 

Firing up the smart TV goes along with that. 

When I have Star Trek: Discovery playing, it feels like my daughter, Tiffany, is sitting right there with me. It's far from the same as spending actual time with her irl. It is what I have, it helps me to miss her a tiny bit less.

Spending an evening with Tiffany.

Queen of France or ultimate victim of circumstances?

Have you ever.....

~ said something that was repeated out of context?

~ done something really stupid, then, felt remorse

~ felt trapped by circumstance

~ been sheltered by someone close to you

~ lost a pet or a person you loved 

~ been embarrassed by a "wardrobe malfunction"

~ given up your very identity to please others

(Gee, I think that's called becoming a wife & mother!)

If you have had any or all of these daunting, almost dangerous, life situations, you might empathize with the last queen of France.

As I have been ignorant of the tragedy of her life, it seems I should own up to my own personal culpability, my personal faux pas. 

Since I was born on July 14, which is a national holiday in France, it felt like I was born on a special day. 

In truth? I had always wished that I had been born on July 4. If I was born on a day other than July 4th, I can fantasize that I was! The rationale was that I could, at least, claim the French equivalent of July 4th which is Bastille Day. The French equivalent.

Oh, the ignorance which I, now, must claim.

The thought processes were that I love The United States of America! I love the color combo of red, white & blue, the national colors of my beloved homeland! 

Love for those colors prompted me to paint my son's bedroom in red & white stripes 3/4 up. Then, the rest in blue, extending up to the ceiling onto the ceiling. Glow in the dark stars were placed on the ceiling for my son's delight. He and I had assembled fighter jets for fun. Those jets were suspended on clear cable thread from the ceiling.

I hope he felt the love I put into his bedroom decor.

As my Grandfather wished for a close relationship with me, he encouraged me to choose an important figure from history that he and I could study together. It became a bonding point.

Had I chosen La Reine Marie Antoinette, my ignorance of her tragic life might have been less. Less is more? 😎

The figure chosen was Queen Victoria, queen of the UK for 63 years. No queen had used the name, Victoria, before. She was, most definitely an original. There has not been another like her, since her reign of 63 years, starting at age 18. She accomplished so much!

As my beloved Grandfather had numerous genetic ties to the UK, this choice seemed to be favorably logical.

In place of that, had I chosen Marie Antoinette there would have been less personal gloating, mild gloating is still gloating. Gloating in ignorance is still gloating. 

Je m'excuse, madame, je voulais ne pas faire.

(A re-phrase of some of Marie Antoinette's last words)

When someone or something crosses my path, enters my orbit, catches my attention, it piques my curiosity. The deeply curious facet of my nature spurs me to investigate whomever or whatever is there. 

The French language appeals to me along with French fashion. French chocolate, French culture, French art, French music. Does French kissing figure in there? Maybe. 💞💞💞💞

The movie about Marie Antoinette's life, starring Kirsten Dunst, was bought for a friend as a birthday gift. Sadly, my friend passed on before it could be given. I left the DVD in its wrapped & sealed condition for several years even as I moved from Colorado to Texas. The feeling was that if I opened it, it was the last tie to my beloved friend, would be permanently broken. 

As irrational as this sounds, being a sentimental plus very feeling person, it was how I truly felt. When I had a day of difficulties, a trifle to shift my focus became necessary. It was time.

The movie was just what I needed! It was fascinating, opulent, funny, romantic, beautiful! With the oh so sexy Jamie Dornan (50 Shades of Grey) playing the very celebrated Swedish Diplomat, Count Axel von Fersen. There was a definitive eye candy factor.

Along with the "pick me up" being sought, it awakened a curiosity about La Reina Marie Antoinette, the last Queen of France. 

It has been almost 230 years since her untimely death. She is more beloved, now, just as revered. Her enigma is a fascinating one.

The movie's whetting of my appetite, led me to explore on several levels. The French tea, created by Nina's of Paris can still be bought, today.

La the' de Marie Antoinette

The parfum created for Marie Antoinette by Lubin de Paris

Originally named The Queen's Secret Garden, recreated by The House of Lubin following the original formula, as Black Jade. The queen had the scent in a small black jade vial with her at all times.

The luxurious chocolates created just for Marie Antoinette.

The Queens Chocolates by Debauve et Gallais still around today.

As a voracious reader, I began to read as much as possible about the enigmatic Queen. Her ancestry, her childhood, her life experiences.

Some very interesting facts that were discovered? Like the petals of a rose that unfold to reveal the heart, her tragic life unfolded before me.

1.Just as Queen Victoria never said "Let them eat cake", Queen Marie Antoinette never said, "We are not amused". See what I did?

2. She was born in Austria as an Austrian Archduchess. Her name at birth was Maria Antonia Josepha Johanna Archduchess of Austria. 

3. She was taken to France to be the bride of the dauphin Louis XVI when she was still 14 years of age, soon after she celebrated her 15th year of age. Louis XVI was only 15, the marriage ceremony was done by proxy, in Austria, on April 19, 1770 with her brother standing in as the groom. The deal needed to be sealed soon to allay the prospect of more warring on both sides between the 2 countries.

(DANG! That was normal at the time, it does seem like it's a tad odd)

4. The ceremonial wedding took place at The Palace of Versailles on May 16, 1770. The wedding gown was too small for Marie Antoinette, so, she had to walk toward the altar, to meet her actual husband to be, with the dress being opened at the back, showing her undergarments to the entire court. Awkward first impression.

5. The celebration after the marriage ceremony in Versailles had 5,000 guests on the guest list, lasted for 2 weeks. They partied in opulent fashion, completely oblivious that the French people were starving to death outside the heavy gates of the palace.

6. Marie Antoinette & Louis XVI knew nothing of the relations that were supposed to occur betwixt husbands & wives. Their marriage was not consummated until they had been married for 7 years.

7. When she married, Marie Antoinette had lived in wealth, in abundance of everything from the time she was born. She was a teenage girl who had the world laid at her feet. She had the green light to party like Rock-ette Star! She did what most teenage girls (or guys) would do if they found themselves in a similar situation.

8. Marie Antoinette was a sort of pioneer. She searched for ways to connect with Louis XVI, horseback riding was the chosen venue.

She was told that riding horses was too dangerous, so, she rode donkeys at first.

Later, she wanted to ride horses. It was thought that aristocratic ladies should only ride on a side saddle. The long dresses, multiple layers of petticoats etc, made it very cumbersome. She had breeches made that were similar to a man's. Wearing these breeches with fewer & lighter petticoats, she rode astride,  with her legs on both sides of the horse. This was breaking new ground, it was also a bit scandalous as most ladies would be stopped from doing this.

 

Now, you see, just a petite glimpse into Marie Antoinette's life, her world. It's a personal belief of mine that she was a victim of a tragic life. The wheels had been set into motion before she was born.

Bastille Day, celebrated on July 14, every year, in France, marks the celebration of the French people being freed from the excesses of their Monarchy. It freed them from heavy taxes, sky rocketing costs of food, mainly meat and bread.

The French Resolution also caused the arrests of the monarchy. They were certainly judged as guilty before they had even went to trial. First, Louis XVI was tried, convicted, beheaded in public via the new invention of the guillotine which was a fast death, thought to be more humane. Marie Antoinette's children were taken from her, months later, living in captivity, she, also was tried, convicted, publicly executed. A guilty verdict was certain, the trial was a formality.

After learning as much as I have of these unfortunate monarchs who were secluded away from common people in Versailles? It has caused a change in my attitude toward sharing my birthday with the bloody French Revolution outcome of Bastille Day, July 14.