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I hear the same concern repeated in different phrasing, same story, different words.
In this heart of mine, one that only wishes to help with clarity, I try. Sometimes it is well received, comprehended, often it goes as the colloquialism says:
In one ear, then, out of the other.
Many people hear it, acknowledge it, forget it quickly
*sigh*
Many people who wish to be coupled up, feeling the urge to merge, are a bit lonely, feel the pressure from society to be in a couple, a romantic pairing. The pressure is real!
Most sources to include, music, movies, restaurants, are designed or repeatedly reference 2 people.
Have you ever gone to a cinema or a restaurant alone?
You may have wanted to see a movie or go to a restaurant and other people were busy or unavailable or the movie or the restaurant was your taste, theirs - less than yours.
Happily, you trot on down to a cinema or a restaurant. When you arrive at the restaurant, wait to be seated. The host/hostess looks at you, then, speaks the words every single person (as in uncoupled) just loves to hear, "How many?" or "Is this just for one?"
When you answer, "Yes" the response, from the host/hostess, will often be a slight hesitation, it doesn't compute, so they must get it in their brain that this poor person is alone, is single.
Awww!
The appearance of pity on their face is automatic.
I have seen this reaction so many times! If it weren't for the discomfort from the host/hostess, it would actually be funny!
It's copacetic.
For those people who are lonely or very vigilant of the fact that they are somewhat of a pariah in a world which is mostly geared toward couples & families, this can be irksome.
Myself? I got this! I'm more entertained than anything at this. 😀
With the many romantic heartaches in my life, it would be understandable that I would be one of those repulsive man haters.
Except ~
Home girl is a man LOVER!
In the decade or so, since divorcing, there have been 4 marriage proposals, yet, in fairness to the gentlemen, they were fine, manly
people. My feelings for them were platonic. I was truthful with these suitors. Better to disappoint them with the truth than to mislead with a lie.
Having said that, this is why I say I'm single by choice.
Choosing to remain single instead of being with someone who is Mr. Wrong, is choosing to remain single. Redundant.
Being mostly happy, with the occasional speed bumps, is pretty sweet! Some people who need to be in a couple, are with someone who is more of an opposite sex roommate. Often, the other person is less than suitable yet better than not having someone, they have a bit of difficulty understanding this & that is A - O - K.
These dear souls desire to fit into what the world tells them they should be. Some people fear being alone. That's okay, we are all only human.
This may work for many people, okay, the majority of people. I need a healthy, passionate connection with a person who treats me well who I can spoil as I love to do with trust that my heart is safe with them.
Often, I hear the disdain in my single acquaintances sadness's at seeing someone who doesn't have as much going for them, as they do, get married, or enter into a romantic coupling.
It blows their mind, often, it ticks them off!
Myself? I'm happy for the couple! In fact, I'm just happy.
I hope for them, that they get married & invite me to the wedding!
PAR-TAY!
For people like me, who can be happy, single for the rest of my life, or finding someone to be with. I will be happy either way.
Once you know how to take care of yourself, company becomes an option, not a necessity. ~ Keanu Reeves
Another common mindset is when someone thinks that they are treated in an unkind way by a spouse or S.O. because they are:
Too skinny
Too fat
Too young
Too old
Don't have enough money
Lacking an education
A single parent
Have a physical aspect which alters their appearance
All of these are true for the wrong people who would turn someone away because of a perceived flaw whether it's there or not.
For the right one who will love someone just as they are? The flaws are only endearing traits which endears the person to them.
When you truly love someone, you love them as they are.
Caveat: WITHIN REASON
When someone loves you, they love you as you are.
Caveat: WITHIN REASON
Also, when someone cheats on their "loved one", the guilt mostly rests on the cheater, male or female.
When one person abuses another, the guilt mostly rests upon the abuser, male or female.
There is, however a somewhat skewed balance of guilt. The perp, of course, yet, within reason, the other person who is accepting such harmful behavior.
Having experienced this firsthand, I know how hard it is to leave, I left. It was hard at first, became more pleasant, more stable in time!
Somehow, I feel that there are eyes out there which needed to read this, ears that needed to hear these words.
It DOES require soul searching, thought, brutal truthfulness with self.
Been there, did that, loving myself, got the T Shirt! 😜
