The Power of The Story

So... what's your story?

Have you ever heard that - asked that - been asked that?

What do you say?

Um, I came down from heaven on a moon beam & the rest is history. lol.

Seriously, when someone asks that, it leaves the chasm so wide open, it gives a person enough rope to hang themselves. Say too little, it makes ya look closed up, too tight lipped. 
Sounds good to me!
Say too much and you've said too much! 

Everyone has a unique story of their life. Different experiences that shape us, that make us who we are. Some experiences are better forgotten, some experiences are so moving that the impact is felt for a lifetime.

The power of your own unique story can change your life, can change the lives of others simply by the telling of it.

The power of your story creates the energy around you, it can be felt by others whether you realize it or not.

Have you ever ~

Jumped from an aircraft?
Given birth to a child or twins or triplets?
Been in a car wreck?
Become addicted to a chemical substance?
Been arrested?
Did you have a good childhood or a traumatic one?
Do you struggle with weight issues? (losing or gaining)
Met a celebrity whom you admired?
Become a father?
Experienced the pain and trauma of a divorce?
Fallen in love?

If you have experienced one of many of these events, it has the power to change you, sometimes for the better.

PLOT TWIST!

If your "story" is dragging you down, making you feel emotional pain, why not re-write it solely for your own benefit.

It's a very healing activity.

This means, telling yourself a happier version of events that were so painful it gave you depression, anxiety, even nightmares.

Just for yourself, for your own healing, NOT for job applications or college exams or entrance!

Just for you!

So, in a happier version, "What's your story?"

Poking the scorpion with a stick

He's so real though he's made mistakes
Repenting then repairing
Doing all that it takes

He's a good man, as many would say
Holding himself accountable
For those times he went astray

Setting a good example for his sons
Looking to their dad
Becoming good godly ones

In an alternate universe:

His deeds are covert in cyber space
Lying and cheating
Make his pulse race

Selfishness in thoughts and needs
Blaming others for his pain
Slandering them for his misdeeds

H thinks his sons know nothing of this
As they watch and pray
Then follow in his steps

 
  

To be loved, respected, desired, lusted after.

Would you rather?

Let's play!

The easiest of these levels of being wanted is to be lusted after. It goes on all day, every day. Us humans are sexual, sensual creatures. 
Guys and YES! Girls, too!

Being desired is almost as easy peezy. Being lusted after is more carnal in nature, neither bad nor good, it just is. Both of these can be done in person, the more common ~ online, through media as in movies, internet sites, apps, even telephone chat lines. Umm, how do I know about those? Shh!

The main point is this. Being desired or lusted after is more of a male gratifying action.

Yeah, sounds a bit sexist, yet, it's true. Deal.

It's science, peeps, biologically proven science. While it stops short of covering every persons outlook, agenda & such, it garners 
merit!

Heterosexual guys are hard wired to get the ba-zing in the lowers when he sees an attractive female. Yeah, I SAID IT!

Most heterosexual girls are hard wired to seek the security of a relationship with a guy who demonstrates the 3 P's.

~ Profess
~Provide
~ Protect

So, being desired aka being lusted after is false flattery. It's actually dangerous to a girls personal safety, her emotional well being, the future of her life as well as possibly her present & future children.

For this reason, an immature guy will indulge in the practice of deception for the purpose of sperm spreading. Unbeknownst to him, this practice is just as emotional/psychological growth stunting & damaging to him as it is to the girls.
When I say, "An immature guy" this can apply to any guy who still has not matured beyond sperm spreader, it can be, chronologically birth - 90 years of age if his plumbing is still functional.

Danger - danger.

To be first, respected, is beneficial to guys and girls, yet, they must first have self respect. Enough respect to be sparingly cautious with their sexual appetites. Get a grip on it, lol. Take that as you wish. :)

To be respected AND loved is crucial. 

Especially to girls.

When a girl is first, respected & second loved by a guy who treats her well, it can change her entire world. It can change her attitudes toward a multitude of topics.

Most importantly?

It will show her, by just one good, decent, respectful mans' actions that, yep, you guessed it ~

All guys are NOT the same.

All it takes is one.

It's okay........

It's okay to be single in a coupled up 
World
It's okay to remain alone until you are
Sure

It's okay to see the lives that other
Posess
It's okay to want that for yourself or even to
Obsess

It's okay to want to lick your fingers when you
Should
You may get a scolding though the reason is very
Good

It's okay to build the thickest walls around your
Heart
Preventing the romantic predators from ripping it
Apart

It's okay to sit and cry for almost no reason at
All
Though we all know sometimes it's hard to stand
Tall 

Comfort yourself with chocolate or with
Exercise
You know all about you and you know what is
Wise

Whatever you do wherever you
Are
It's still okay to wish for romance on a falling
Star

Just be real?

Oh yeah, it's heard a lot in present day.

Why?

People want others to be "real" aka "down to earth" aka "genuine" aka "sincere".

So many want to see it, so few willing to be it.

Myself, I find it so disturbing to see that fewer & fewer are willing to actually communicate with  others. 
Hiding behind technology to ~ 

Slam other people
Cheat on your spouse
Pass the time

Has become far too common. 
It's as common as dirt & just as dirty.

They use avoidance, ignoring as well as the infamous "ghosting" in place of actual communication.

What is the motivator? Possibly fear? Possibly they have no cojones?  Possibly they were never taught to have manners.

How much decency does it take to have a simple conversation?
A simple conversation such as ~ 

"Hey, I didn't like what you said (or did) around my kid."
"What you said (or did) really hurt me in the feels."
"You have offensive __(breath, body odor, language)." fill it in! 

There are more situations, am sure you can deduce.

Having a conversation with another person takes courage, confidence, even a bit of your time! *gasp*

Striving everyday to be a kinder person in an unkind world is where my effort is. Striving every day to be a very genuine person in an increasingly fake world is where I put in effort.

Be real, peeps, please, just be real.

TRX Suspension Training vs Cross Fit

Having given both TRX and Cross Fit a good ripping shot, the winner is ~

(Drum -roll please!)

TRX!

I participated in Cross Fit for 90 days. 

HATED IT!

After 3 days I was so sore I could barely walk. After 15 days, the soreness was my buddy, I had accepted it. After 60 days, I was beginning to hate working out, dreading it, actually!

Yup.

I was hating the very lifestyle I had begun to love. I stuck with it for the 90 days I had paid for. It was painful and expensive in so many ways.
Cross Fit was stealing my joy.
Sucking my fun until I had to admit.

To me? Cross Fit just plain sucked!

I went back to my regular work outs, started attending Yoga classes to relieve the muscle pain that had erupted while I was trying to love Cross Fit.

FFWD to February 2017.

The awesome PT who was helping me to up my fitness game, change it up, introduced me to TRX. 
Whilst watching the TRX class at the gym, I was intimidated.
It looked too challenging, difficult, strenuous. The awesome PT took me through my first TRX workout.

I was hooked!

TRX was invented by a Navy Seal to help him keep in shape while deployed with no gym available. 

While the Cross Fit injuries list of sufferers grows longer, TRX is taking off!
TRX is a lifelong sustainable workout while Cross Fit is NOT.

Having gained more muscle while my abs are reducing & firming up, I see the positive results. There's new muscle in my legs, arms & back developing more definition, I feel it! Even my "girls" are lifted from the multiple chest presses & I-Fly/Y-Fly!

Disclaimer:
I am still a work in progress. I weenie out sometimes, am still challenged, still working on improving yet I AM improving!!!

TRX is here to stay for me. If you like Cross Fit, you can have it! I'll keep my TRX workouts with my awesome TRX teacher, Amy. She rocks!

The "man bun" & "beard lube".

The "man bun". Yup. It's a thing. Less "my thing", yet, still, a thing in this world of metro-sexuals, the murse, etc.

The man bun was worn by Japanese Samurai soldiers, Yoga masters, some quite attractive, masculine guys. A guy can still be hella sexy while sporting a man bun.

Still?

NO!

Just, NO!

Just my opinion, it seems emasculating for a guy to style the hair on his head this way.

The "eww" factor goes up when I see it. It makes me want to offer him a scrunchie......and a tampon!

As sexist as this sounds, I Love Love LOVE a masculine guy.

I won't try to tell a guy how to wear his hair, however, I definitely find a guy with a man bun unattractive.

A masculine guy? yes, please! Minus the man bun.

Many women love a beard on a guy, some, not so much. Just as I would resent a guy trying, I say, TRYING to tell me how to wear my hair.

A persons hair is so, well, personal!

Long, short, curly straight, up, down, half up, half down. Head hair is even more of a statement with girls.

Many guys take their facial hair or the lack of it, very personal. The physical ability to grow a mustache and/or beard is such a masculine trait that it SHOULD be a guys personal decision to grow a beard or mustache.

Some guys simply hate to shave their face, some guys just like the feeling. 

A certain "special" guy friend who shall remain nameless, was getting some crap for growing out his beard for the first time in his life. He wanted to try something new.

He's a hot guy, no doubt, a bit of facial hair would be sexy, I thought. In support of his desire to try out growing a beard, I gave him some really nice beard washing "stuff". lol.

It smells good, very clean & masculine. Mmm.

The beard lube can be used to wash & soften his whiskers or shave it off or even soften the hair so he can trim it.

Yupp. lol. Beard Lube! it's a thing! My guy friend appreciated my support.

Do you believe in magic?

Well, sparky, do you believe in magic?

Ciara does, as in her hit song, "Love, Sex, Magic!"

I believe in the magical surreal quality feeling of connecting with another person on a deeper level than usual. 
It IS a surreal feeling as that level of connection is less common than it used to be, I believe.

The magic I speak of is when a lover, old flame, whatever you wish to call it, comes back into my life for a second chance at something meaningful.
As long as the 2 people have changed in positive, healthy ways, YES! I believe in second chances. 

Also, there is the beauty of re-connecting with  a true friend. It may have been months or it may have been years, it will feel as if it was yesterday when the two were together, last.

I have experienced both, several times.

If you are fortunate to be given a second chance or have the courage to give a second chance.
Take it or give it, cautiously. 

Ya neva know!
 

When you will die

Will you die in the hope of Spring
Maybe in the hope of a summer day
Perhaps in the crisp air of Autumn
Will you die that way?

Having died over a hundred times
Each time my heart was broken
There was absence of a eulogy
Flowery phrases went unspoken

The ones who did their damage
Most often it was a man
The axe chops then forgets
While the tree bears scars so never can

Death takes so many creative forms
Each day each time you cry
Every breath you breathe you never know
The next time in small ways you will die

Be Kind

Have you noticed changes in the world in, oh, maybe, the last decade (2007 - 2017) or maybe the last 5 years? Maybe, even in the last year (July 2016 - July 2017). 
Have you?
Maybe, maybe less -so.

Personally?

I notice these events in the world. People have become desensitized to violence, rudeness, mean actions, even the simple courtesy of holding a door for another person or staying on their phone, ignoring those right in front of them.

It's become very common for people to be in a movie theater, at a restaurant with others, even at family dinner tables, on their phones, tablets, laptops.

It's rude. 

No matter how acceptable it has become, it's still rude.

Sometimes, out of a fight 'em or join 'em attitude, I join 'em. This would be my very last choice, yet, what's a girl to do?

Natural preference, for me, is to be in person, face to face, in person with those people I spend time with. Hugs, smiles, laughter, much of this has been replaced by technological interaction. 

Another natural preference is to be kind.

Better to be kind & feel good about it than to be cruel.

Oh mah goodness, the life lessons I have learned from being more kind than is required as well as, I'm nearly ashamed to say, being cruel for whatever reasons.

Yupp, ha ha. I have been cruel in the past. Having lived with the agony of a guilty conscience, I have learned the power of being kind.

Kindness is more of a form of strength than anything. There's a HUGE difference between being a doormat or too kind and simply acting in kind ways.

Equally important?

~ Empathy
~ Compassion
~ Understanding
~ Refrain from judgment

More than anything, if you can choose to be anything, be kind.

Aroha!

T D T R

Tender memories
Tender words said
Tender thoughts
Inside my head

Dreams of good times
Dreams of "that" too
Dreams of passion
All about you 

Too close to the surface
Too filled with doubt
Too much time or too little
Until time ran out

Real feeling caring
Real people so sincere
Real depth of attachment
It's all right here

Do one thing each day that scares you OR It's fun to mess with people's minds!

Yeah - Yeah. I CAN be a little bit of a fire-starter.
aka a button pusher
aka a trouble maker
aka a brat

Just a little, just enough. It's law abiding, 99%. ;) 

It was Eleanor Roosevelt who made the quote a bit more famous.

"Do one thing each day that scares you."

So, there it is. 

Doing one thing each day that scares me keeps the blood pumping a bit harder, makes me feel a little bit more alive, even fulfills a desire to be a little bit naughty. Just a little.  🙈🙉🙊😈😊😇

Today is a HOTT day in North Texas. At the gym, there was a guy who I have talked to, several times, started doing cardio behind the tread I was on. I could see his reflection, could see that he was watching me.
Baby! Even with AC, it was so hot, I was dyin'!
Usually, I keep my T shirt on over my sports bra, when working out, only removing it in the enclosed classroom during Yoga.
I started thinking. 
Rut-roh, raggy!

I thought ~

"My back looks good enough to take my shirt off."
"Working hard to improve traps, delts, lats, they look good!"
"It's so frkn hot. I'm burning up!"
" OMG. It scares me a little to go without a T Shirt!"
BINGO!

I paused the tread, took my shirt off, watching the facial expression on the dude behind  me. Heh - Heh!

His jaw dropped, then he grinned. Then, he dropped what he was doing, grabbed his stuff from the storage cubbie & left!
REALLY FAST!
Guess it pushed a button. :)

Made my heart pitter a bit, patter a bit. Just a bit scary for me.

Funny shizz today.

Hugh Jackman wisdom

Hugh Jackman.

Even if his name is even mentioned, it gets the talk going. The man has it going on!

He's talented, educated, attractive. 
Did you know his wife of over 20 years is also 15 years older?

He is 46, she is 61.

At 26, Hugh Jackman knew something that many guys, even in today's world are  mystified by, sometimes totally against or even won't even consider.

The older woman/younger guy relationship works! Or, at least, it CAN work. Like any romantic coupling, it can also fail.

When both people go about a romantic relationship with more of an open mind, leaving behind the prejudices against age ~ 

The guy can GREATLY benefit!

Mostly because, when the female half of the relationship is older, she is usually waaaayyyy past the BS of girls in their 20s & 30s.
She is more confident, shuns drama, I say USUALLY. There's the disclaimer!
A single older woman in today's world, more often than not has a gym membership, is more financially secure, more body confident & can take or leave having a guy in her life.

Gone is the neediness of a 20s - 30s chikkie. This older woman can take care of herself in more ways than not.
Usually, she knows how to cook, how to change her own oil and is secure enough to refrain from piling the makeup on her face & skin.

Most single guys 20 - 40 would  greatly benefit from dating & marrying an older woman.

Happy Birthday?

It's that time of year.

🎂
🎉

PARTAYYYY!

I wish.

It started a long, long time ago. Some things from childhood stick with a girl, some are merely hiccups.
I wish I could say that Birthdays are more of a hiccup. Whiskey or vodka ones, preferably, well, that sometimes happens!

😀

For whatever reason, my mother expressed, both vocally as well as in actions that she didn't like me.
She, single handed, ruined Birthdays for me, even now.
Key in the BM song, "Even Now".  

😿

Dear ole mom would usually start, around 2 weeks before my Birthday, which is ~

July 14th (Bastille Day en France').

She started this when I was around 4 or 5 years of age, start telling me that she regretted having me, that I was worthless, didn't deserve a Birthday or a Birthday cake.

Thanks, mom! Love you, too!!!

She would put together a Birthday celebration only when strongly pressured to do it by her sister or sisters if they needed to call in more re-enforcement to get the job done.

She made it clear to me that she loathed celebrating another year of my life.

When I returned from Basic Training & Tech School for a brief visit, I had, with me, some rather compromising pictures of a guy I had spent time with during my USAF Technical School.

She found them while snooping through the room I had been sleeping in. She rarely respected my boundaries or my privacy.
Mother of the year!!!!!

She, then, made a Birthday cake for me which was in the shape of a lamb. On the cake, she wrote:

"The lamb of God takes away the sins of the harlots of the world".
It was the only Birthday cake she willingly made for me.

Is it any wonder that I begin to feel sadness, anxiety and real emotional pain, starting round 2 weeks before July 14?

To compound this, aside from the Birthday party my youngest daughter gave for me on the anniversary of my 21st 
Birthday 😇, my Birthday, each year, has never been much of a celebration.
Although ex huzz fully expected a celebration for HIS birthday, he rarely made much of an acknowledgement of mine. This was less than helpful.

So....here it is, THAT infamous time of year.

Although I'm trying to refrain from sliding into depression, going emo chik is soooo unattractive, it's really tough for me.

I will try, I will try, I will try.....shaddup, Yoda! (inside yoke).

The Hope

Just a few years ago
Was an intelligent mind
A heart full of love aglow

An attractive clean face
Smiling most of the time
In a happier place

Most days in spirit prayer
A whispering soul
At home at work everywhere

There was promise as well as hope
There were also conquests
Notches on a rope

The masculine kindness began to disapper
Replaced with a calloused heart
With self hatred with fear

Dreams had shriveled up then died
From the pain he caused
It was all so justified

Now there exists a small chance at least
When he learns to love again
A modern day version of beauty with beast
The interaction between ladies with men

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

Push through the pain to VICTORY!

A favorite phrase that occurred to me & keeps entering my thoughts when I need to motivate & encourage myself goes like this:

"You broke through, though you don't know you broke through, you made it when you didn't know you made it. You're so far ahead, you wonder if you're behind."
~ Brenda M. Bautista ~

You can quote me. :)

Does this ever enter your scope of experience?

The last instance was when I drove the 993 mile drive, alone, to Utah. My eldest daughter & her family were SUPPOSED to meet up with me & we were to caravan to Utah. 
When they blew me off, I started out on my own.
Yupp.
Me, a full gas tank, a charged Taser, enough food & water to last for the whole trip to Utah.

I was a bit scared, starting out. The drive, alone, was daunting. The long hours, the excruciating pain in my right arm. It was a bit intimidating. I was popping Aleve gel caps like M & Ms!

I kept repeating my mantra.

No "ooooohhhhmmmms". Just saying to myself,
"C'mon girl! You can do this. You have this, keep going!"

I was on my own, had to do this. I had a wedding to attend!

Pushing myself, I left North Texas at 12 midnight on a Monday night, arrived in Provo, Utah at 2300 on Tuesday night. Only stopping for fuel.

Yes, I had to push myself.

Sleep?

Who needs sleep!

Chow? Had plenty of that!

Water? 7 gallons!

When I arrived in Provo, Utah, I had trouble finding the apartment where the Bride lives. She had to guide me there. I was also starting to feel tired, delirious, actually. When I arrived, I know I looked like hell, yet, I MADE IT!

After a hot shower, I was ready to crash!

I made it. I broke through, persevered. 

VICTORY!
******************************************************************************