I'm sorry. I apologize.

What is one of the first socialization rules taught to a child?

According to a child (mostly 5 years and under), if they want something, they take it. Case closed. 
There may be a biting problem.
There may be a hitting problem.
There may be some other reaction to adversity.

The child is instructed to apologize, to say, "I'm sorry."

Oh, Canadian people are so gracious about saying "I'm sorry."
Many British people or English people, as well. 
There IS a difference betwixt English or British subjects.
All of the above are known for being polite, for being apologetic.

What is an apology?

An apology, when it is sincere, is an acknowledgment of wrong doing, then, a repentant phrase followed by the offender trying to do better as well as the offended being forgiving of the offence.

When a person apologizes, sincerely, it's an acknowledgment that they breached your personal boundaries.

When someone says "I'm sorry" or "I apologize", if you have self respect, it's best to acknowledge then thank the other person.
This is basic human respect, one to another.

Some cultures don't have a word or phrase to say, "I'm sorry."

The closest literal translation to English for some languages are:

It was your fault
My flaws were showing
Please forgive me
Let's just forget it

Often, an apology is sincerely punctuated with a small gift as well as a short note or even a letter. It almost makes it worth being offended. (JUST KIDDING!)

Although the song by Elton John claims that "sorry seems to be the hardest word", maybe "I forgive you" is even harder.
Many people will hold a grudge, holding back their forgiveness for a very long time.

Personally?

I have learned to forgive quickly whether it's asked for or not.

Having lived on the Earth for a minute, I have only received an unsequestered apology, three times in my life. I wasn't holding my breath, waiting, yet, when it happened, my heart instantly warmed.

If you have healthy boundaries, accepting a sincere apology as a sign of respect for you, as a valued person.
Learning to receive a sincere apology is just as important as learning to give a sincere apology when you know you have erred.

Golden Uterus Syndrome?

Once more, a phrase to downplay one of the central figures of the family unit, has been invented.

The mother.

This phrase has been tossed around for awhile. 

Why? 

Mainly because it allows some people, male and female, to chip away at the very status of the mother in the home. Society has already been tearing away at the crucial roles of fathers in the home for a decade or more. Many groups try, I say, "try" to emasculate men who are good, kind, loving fathers doing their best to profess, provide, protect. 

It's my guess that this phrase:

"The Golden Uterus Syndrome"

This phrase is a way to fire back at the attempts to downplay the role that fathers have, in the sacred family unit.

Golden Uterus Syndrome: The situation in which a woman, who has voluntarily birthed children then voluntarily leaves a marriage, believes she is entitled to every dollar she can squeeze out of the father of her children.

This is quite crude while also NOT depicting every woman who divorces a man then receives court ordered child support. Many attorneys, ex husbands or current baby daddy's will use the term.

What is the flip side of this?

"The Golden Penis Syndrome"

The mindset that if a human female has already had one human male penis inside her vagina, she has less value. As if the proverbial golden penis has that much power that it could devalue her in an instant.
This attitude is mostly held by guys, yet some girls also embrace it.

If said girl has had 5 or more different golden penises inside her va-jay-jay & people know about it. 
OMGoodness. She's now worthless. 
That's the attitude of too many people.

The truth?

Good, loving fathers are essential.
Good, loving mothers are essential.
Penises are not magic wands.
(News flash, guys!)

Mutual respect, taking care of personal responsibility.

*POOF*

Problems are solved.

Ever True

First it's important to be more true
As to whom I really am inside
Than it ever is to be pleasing to you
It's very tiring trying to hide

Letting the inner voices have their power
To speak freely with all that they are
Growing into such beauty in it's eternal hour
A life well lived as a shining star

When we live in truth we feel it as beauty
Practicing it daily lest we ever forget
A life well lived in such wisdom with duty
Is a life that is sweetly free of regret

Your fathers wife

What is a father? a daddy? a paternal parent?
What is a mother? a mama? a maternal parent?

Families are wonderful units of togetherness. Heaven when it all works out, when people treat each other with courtesy, respect. 

When there is loving kindness despite differences of opinion, it can be an early heaven on earth. I have seen this in many families.

What about the other side of the spectrum?

One spouse is very unappreciative of the other. There is contention, lies, manipulation, deceit. In place of sitting down like 2 people who vowed to love each other, there is only the hiding of indiscretions, high dollar purchases to hide. Marital break down.

Both husband & wife sometimes wait until the children they created together, are older, to separate. Sometimes, hanging on until betrayals have become too heavy to bear. Until the heart that once loved completely is shattered from the pain of it all.

It has been pointed out to me many times, that, the spouse who inflicted the most pain, dealing it more feeling it less, will move on to another marriage first. Long before the other.

The other?

The one who was lied to, not appreciated, cheated on, accused of doing what the accuser was actually doing in secret, will remain single. Single & free to enjoy being able to live as they wish instead of the way they were forced to live for so long. Free to enjoy the liberation from anxiety, suspicion, misery, that was foisted upon them.

The new "family" that is formed causes a bit of upheaval. The daddy's new wife was never the mother of his children. No matter how much money she spends on HIS children, on HIS grandchildren, no matter how much time or how much desire.

In reality?

She is not the step mother. 

She never mothered the children, she has no tie to his children's children. 

Not a mother in any way, shape or form.

She never grew the babies inside her body nor went through the pain of childbirth. 

She never potty trained the children. She didn't go through the tempestuous teenage years. She didn't teach the children table manners or calm their fears when a bad dream woke them.
Not their mother, not their step mother, not a mother of any sort.

The father's 2nd can lie to herself that she is a step mother. 
The relatives can placate her by giving her the fantasy she wishes so much to believe.
It's all a placating fantasy with sycophant's, everywhere.

A dear friend of mine is facing this dilemma. Having gone through it, I can console her, listen to her cry, listen to her pain, validating her, calming her fears. 
Her indignation at such betrayal is palpable. Her pain is my pain, it cuts me, hurts me, chills me all the way into my bones.

It's pain I bear for her.

I am that sort of friend.

She waited until their six children were grown adults, living on their own, to leave a marriage that had descended into misery. Her husband had treated her very unkindly for many years. Love that she felt for him had been eroded long since when he failed to appreciate her or cherish her as he should have.

His many indiscretions of financial nature, sexual nature, loyalty nature, had shattered her heart to the point of irreparable damage. The love, the passion which had been between them had died.

Some people are simply married, bound together legally. 

Some people are married as well as committed to each other. Sadly, in some marriages, one person is all in, completely committed to the marriage, the family, come what may.

This imbalance is gut wrenching to see, so obvious to the world.

When both people are married AND committed they both make the others happiness their first priority.
Unfortunately for my dear friend, she made his happiness her first priority whilst he, also, made his own happiness his first priority.

Now that the dust has settled on their divorce, he has moved on. Married to a woman who never had children, never wanted children, wanting HIS children to call her "Mom". Wanting his children's children to call her "Grandma."

She never did the work to earn the title.

She is just their fathers wife, she is just their grandfather's wife.

A toad can be called as a prince,(or princess) may delude themselves to even believe they are more than a toad. 

Alas, the toad is still a toad.

.

I dedicate this blog entry to my dear friend as well as others who might be having this sad experience.

Okay?

How often do you hear this?
How often do you do this, yourself?

Most often speaking to a child in your care:

"You have to eat your lunch, okay?"
or
"Stop poking the dog in the nose, okay?"
or
"You have to pick your toys up then put them away, okay?"
or
"It's bed time, okay?"

I see that at least at Huff Post, someone else gets this!
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/is-it-ok-to-use-ok-the-di_b_9736782

Are you following? Are you tracking? Are you getting the gist?

Ending any request of another person whether child or adult or any age, with "okay?" is asking the other person for permission to instruct them in what to do.

The one in charge has just undermined their own authority.

Is it any wonder that many children have grown into adulthood with a lack of respect for authority?

You will never hear a court judge say:

"I sentence you to 20 years of confinement, okay?"

You will never hear a police officer say:

"I'm going to arrest you, okay?"

If an authority figure does do this, they are woefully inadequately trained.

Doing so is to remove their own authority or at least make themselves look weak in the presence of another person in their charge.

It makes sense that many children grow into adulthood in confusion. Many are unable to make complete sense of a world already floundering in the muck of gender confusion, multiples of divisions, hate, fear, frustration.

Authority, respect, courtesy are only three of the elements needed for a firm mental/emotional foundation to be able to survive as an adult out there in a big wild world.

When authority figures such as parents, law enforcement professionals, teachers, supervisors, undermine their own authority, they are setting themselves up for failure. 
One "okay" at a time.
In conjunction with that, their underlings have less respect for them, add to that the confusion of exactly who is in charge.

My, oh, my.

Seeds of chaos are being planted that will, in time, grow into multiple divisions in society.

Racial
Religious
Genders
Class
Socio Economic Status
Education
Ethnicity
Country of Origin
Physical ability

"Okay" is but one brick in the walls that spring up to cause division.

When one unhealthy habit is eliminated it's expedient to replace it with a healthy one.
A more healthy ending to a request to replace "okay" would be:

Do you understand?
or 
Can you please repeat back to me what I just said?
or
Were you listening?
or even
Understood?

When one of these replacement phrases is uttered then met with the "deer in the headlights" look, it might be useful to have the other person repeat back to you, what you just said.

With an adult, "Is this clear to you?" might suffice.

They might reply with "Yes" or even "Crystal".

Communicating clearly is so under rated. Clear communication is vital to a society to become or remain healthy as well as well functioning.
To sponsor confusion with manipulation, lack of clear communication, attempts to control others in place of having a conversation?
Yeah, buddy. 
It's the guillotining of a well functioning world. 

Here's a cool little experiment.

The next time you are in a position of authority, especially with a child, catch yourself before you say, "okay."
Replace "okay" with one of the above phrases.

Just roll it around in your mind, you'll be okay. 

Blood Messages

Blood messages?
maybe
Blood letters?

Lin Zhao was one of the very few who dared to challenge the Chinese government. She was a poet, a journalist. Most of all?
She was a rebel!
She criticized the Chinese government often by writing poetry, opinion posts, in her own blood. She clung to her Christian faith in outright defiance of the pressure to abandon it.
She paid for these deeds with her life! 
Arrested in 1960, executed in 1968.
She was one bold babe!

The following topic is less morbid

That which flows through human bodies is a life giver. It's also a message carrier. By the sheer presence of its chemical properties, it carries some very powerful messages.

It can tell a man if a child is his offspring, or not. This is not fool proof, it is, however, very accurate most of the time.

Testing a persons blood can tell medical doctors if a person has certain medical conditions or if they have certain diseases or not.

Criminals can be snared if some of their blood is left at a crime scene or if a victim has met their unfortunate end in their presence, leaving even small traces of blood behind.

The Rh factor can make the difference between carrying a child to full term or, sadly, losing the precious baby or the baby having problems develop at the very least.

The messages passed down through history can tell us so much! These natural biological codes can reveal a person's genetic relationship to royalty or even their spouse. Whoops!
It HAS happened!

Something that many of you good folks probably know is that coconut water can be used in an emergency, when blood is unavailable. Combat medics, search & rescue workers as well as when doctors are in a very remote locations, have used coconut water to keep an injured person hydrated when they have lost a lot of blood. 
It's unrecommended as a regular practice! Real blood is best, coconut water can hydrate someone short term. That's it!

Caveat ~ I am just a regular Susie. No medical training.

Also?

I have passed out a few times when having my blood drawn. People who know me, know that I'm a passionate needleworker. I can create beauty with needlework. As long as the needle stays outside my skin, all is right in my world. I can't even watch another person getting the needle. I'm sure this is very common, my phobia simply takes it up a notch or 20. *smile*

The messages contained in a persons blood, combined with some similarities, have somewhat dubiously linked some people to Jesus Christ, himself. That's still up for debate, probably will always be.

If you happen to be British or English (there IS a difference) or you simply want to sound as though you are, just start using the term "bloody" in place of your usual colorful metaphors.
It could work!

The origin is somewhat obscure, yet, it's used in the place of a certain "F" word to mean very or extremely. It can also mean something is covered in blood. Choose the usage carefully. 😊

In a time when there was far less enlightenment, far less education, it was believed that people of royal birth actually had blue blood! Personally, I would rather have green blood like a Vulcan or a Romulan. It just seems way more cool!

Ignore his hot mess factor. Just look at his cool green blood if you can!

One last item before I go, here is a tip that might help some people out there, I have used this many times. If you, yourself, have a cut or what have you, then, some of your own blood drips onto a porous surface such as clothing, carpet, etc. Your own saliva can be used to remove the blood. Just your own saliva on your own blood
✨Magic! ✨

Body Language

After a full day of work, working out, still more work to whip my house into the retreat from the world, I want it to be.

WHEW!

By 1800, I sat down to work on a challenging needlework design. 

By 1900, I was sah-lee-py!

Too early to go to bed, too late for a nap. Or, was it?

So, I went to my bed, my luscious bed, newly washed linens, smelling so clean, so inviting. Just for a respite.
At 2355, I awoke. I had set an alarm for 00:30, anyway.
It wasn't a noise within nor without. It wasn't the recollection that tomorrow is recycling day & I had yet to set it out to the curb.

My body woke me, parched, crying out for water. My skin was thirsty, my body was telling me that it needed water.
The body can be the boss, sometimes. Pouring some water into a 12 oz. glass, I began to chug!
It was down the hatch in less than 3 minutes, then, I poured another!
I stepped into the shower to drench my skin, it might have been a less than prudent move at 0100. 
Just one of the many perks of adulting, lol! Doing as you need or wish (within reason) at just about any hour of the day or night!

After indulging the body, a delicious indulgence! The body tried to pull a sneak attack, mm hm. Wanting something sweet to eat.

No
No
No
No

Instead, I realized the body only though it wanted sugar. 
I keep my nuts in the freezer, so, I grabbed a handful of crunchy, cold walnuts. Extra cold = Extra crunch!
Mm Hm. 
Keeping my nuts in the freezer has its perks.

What does all this mean?

I'm babbling with purpose!

We have gotten so far into artificial everything, that many of us have stopped listening to our bodies. When the body may need rest, many will pour another cup or 3 of coffee. When the body is depleted of protein, many will reach for ice cream. 

(You can even download these guides & print them to post on your fridge)

Ghrelin, the hunger hormone, is often misunderstood. 

When ghrelin is telling us it needs protein, it really needs something such as walnuts or a bit of natural beef (sorry, chicken fried steak is not it!). The same goes for late night sugar craving.

What you're craving could be a product of sneaky advertising or learned behaviors that should be nipped in the bud, usually. When you listen to your body, tuning out the clever marketing ploys, the learned behaviors of childhood up to now, it may surprise you.