What is one of the first socialization rules taught to a child?
According to a child (mostly 5 years and under), if they want something, they take it. Case closed.
There may be a biting problem.
There may be a hitting problem.
There may be some other reaction to adversity.
The child is instructed to apologize, to say, "I'm sorry."
Oh, Canadian people are so gracious about saying "I'm sorry."
Many British people or English people, as well.
There IS a difference betwixt English or British subjects.
All of the above are known for being polite, for being apologetic.
What is an apology?
An apology, when it is sincere, is an acknowledgment of wrong doing, then, a repentant phrase followed by the offender trying to do better as well as the offended being forgiving of the offence.
When a person apologizes, sincerely, it's an acknowledgment that they breached your personal boundaries.
When someone says "I'm sorry" or "I apologize", if you have self respect, it's best to acknowledge then thank the other person.
This is basic human respect, one to another.
Some cultures don't have a word or phrase to say, "I'm sorry."
The closest literal translation to English for some languages are:
It was your fault
My flaws were showing
Please forgive me
Let's just forget it
Often, an apology is sincerely punctuated with a small gift as well as a short note or even a letter. It almost makes it worth being offended. (JUST KIDDING!)
Although the song by Elton John claims that "sorry seems to be the hardest word", maybe "I forgive you" is even harder.
Many people will hold a grudge, holding back their forgiveness for a very long time.
Personally?
I have learned to forgive quickly whether it's asked for or not.
Having lived on the Earth for a minute, I have only received an unsequestered apology, three times in my life. I wasn't holding my breath, waiting, yet, when it happened, my heart instantly warmed.
If you have healthy boundaries, accepting a sincere apology as a sign of respect for you, as a valued person.
Learning to receive a sincere apology is just as important as learning to give a sincere apology when you know you have erred.
No comments:
Post a Comment