Aloha! E komo mai!

Today, I found that I have over 100 viewers in Hawai'i! 

This thrills me, as it's one of my favorite places in the world. It's probably a favorite for so many people as a vacation spot as well as a deep desire to live there.

For me, it's more than that. So much more.

Hawai'i was a place I daydreamed about as a child, living in a small town in Michigan. Life was hard for me. When my situation was so bad after a beating from my father or not having enough to eat or being bullied & teased at school. Retreating, in my mind, to Hawai'i.

Click yo slippahs togeddah tree times. I was there!

Relatives plus family got a thrill from taunting me, playfully teasing me. Telling me to keep dreaming ~ so I did! In my heart I was determined to find a way. When the opportunity came to me I would be ready, so much determination to fulfill a dream.

The ticket to move to Hawai'i came to me via the United States Air Force ~ Hallelujah! 

I had done it!

It truly was a paradise for me, the home of my soul. Aside from the causes of PTSD/MST, I loved it, there. The local people were mostly very sweet. Nicer than people I had known, up to that point in my life, anyway.

It was so easy to leave behind my prior life. The dumpy little girl who was bullied and teased K - 12, referred to as "Vampire" in reference to my light green eyes that turned yellow in the sun. Leave behind a home filled with cigarette smoke 24/7. Leave behind the bitterly cold winters of Michigan. Leave behind, start anew.

It was also good fun to rub my relatives noses in the fact that even after all of their teasing, I had done it!

There was magic in the ocean water, I was sure of it. Hanauma Bay was postcard pretty. The beautiful, brightly colored fish that swam around the coral, nibbling on my skin. It was so surreal.

From a few chance meetings while sunning myself at Hickam Harbor, I met some of the local people who had access to Hickam AFB. After going to a couple of their family luaus, I met more of the people who called the islands home. 

A few of them talked to me about learning to surf. I was so naive! They wanted me to bring the beer & KFC! Ha ha!

I learned to surf on some of the roughest waves on the North Shore of O'a'hu! Banzai pipeline, baby! Sunset Beach, Mokapu!

I had my hot pink bikini top blown off once, okay, a few times! Even lost the bottoms, quite a few times! There was more to learning to surf than knowing when to lay, when to crouch, paddle or stand.

The way the local people spoke ~ Pidgin English ~ it was beautiful to me. It sounded like water flowing, sometimes crashing, all good!

An opportunity I took when I was invited to go to Ni'ihau, was the chance of a lifetime. I was unaware of what a rare gift this was. I might go back, someday.

The island foods, music, flowers, weather, kind people, I loved it!

I spent some exciting times as a single girl, in Hawai'i. When that time was up as I got military orders to relocate to Edwards AFB in the Mojave Desert, California. I went through some major depression, culture shock. From paradise to a desert. Oh, joy!

I married, then, as a married woman, I moved back to Hawai'i. My first 2 precious babies were born at Kapiolani Women's & Children's Medical Center. It was mostly a very happy time. Ya have to have some rain along with the sunshine for the flowers to grow!

When the time came to leave the islands again, due to military orders, it was just as hard to leave. A Honolulu City Lights feeling.

From time to time I still go back, as the song says. Each time Honolulu City Lights will bring me back again.

https://youtu.be/KNewAa64dnE

I love the whole malasada, in da islands. Later, I took my children to hula class to dance in a halau to keep them connected to the culture. My 2 eldest daughters have hula in their hearts. They danced so beautifully, even teaching others. I loved making some of their dance costumes. The kumu hula (teacher) taught the movements of another beautiful song to me that speaks volumes to me. 

One on one, just for me.

Na Leo ~ I miss you, My Hawai'i

https://youtu.be/TiWG

Na Leo - Hana ho!

This one makes me cry bittersweet as I remember the days each of my 4 sweet babies were born. Moments etched on my heart forever.

https://youtu.be/tRCoAATmDJ0

The love for the music is still with me. I listen to Ke'ali'i Reichel, Na Leo. Also some of the older music from Braddah Noland, Kalapana, The Beamers, etc.

Love this Brother Noland tune the best. It holds sweet memories for me.

https://youtu.be/Zx6mR05RMJ8

Brother Noland, the inspiration for the name of my only son, Nolan.

If you are living in Hawai'i or born & raised there, or born & raised there now living somewhere else, or have the same love in your heart for it, we are Ohana!

Thank you for taking time to read my blog. I am truly humbled by the many views, comments & private messages I receive.

To the ohana I have yet to meet.

Me Spoiling Me

Who spoils you?

Who is going to spoil you? 

Have you ever been spoiled by someone who doted on you, lavished attention along with delightful gifts upon you? 

If you have not had this, would you accept it or, if offered would you even deign to want it?

The answer to all of these is ~ YES!

The one who spoils me as is the only one who knows my tastes most intimately, the desires of my heart. The one who knows what I like, how I like it, when I would want it, for how long I would want it?

My secret lover. Shhh!

(just playing)

The truth is,

It's..............

It's best for me to take care of myself. So - I - do.

Recently, after getting a bonus from work in a very tidy sum, I jumped on the Omnilux Contour wagon. It's a nice ride. 

Skin care, healthy practices. Lotions, serums, meditation music to calm the mind, soothe the soul. Yes. I'm a firm believer that taking care of myself, mind, body, spirit in each infinitesimal facet is very important.

Most of what I do is low cost with a huge impact. In place of pricey facial cleansers? I use honey. 

Yep. 

Honey is an all natural, antibacterial cleanser with nutrient for the skin without robbing it of crucial natural oils in the skin. It's been used for thousands of years. It can also be used to wash the hair. I use a sulfate free shampoo on my baby fine hair, with a honey wash every 3rd or so shampoo.

In place of pricey exfoliators?

Table sugar.

The meat, particularly beef & pork, that is served in many Asian restaurants that is so buttery soft? It's softened with sugar. 

If you want a super duper facial combined with exfoliation?

In the shower or the bath, squeeze some honey into the palm of your hand, sprinkle some table sugar on it, lightly massage your face with the honey & table sugar mixture.

I keep a jar of honey in reach of my shower, next to that is a sealable container of table sugar. 

FYI for you little sugar monsters - sugar does the same thing to your inner organs. 

Sorry to deliver that news. Not sorry.

Table sugar, used in the shower is like getting a massage in a medi -spa.

It does its job, then *poof*, it's gone.

Honey & table sugar quickly dissolve, then, wash down the drain, all natural, no residue.

Back to the Omnilux Contour. Every skin care maven, every beauty blogger is chattering about it. There is a soft bendable LED mask for the face, one for the neck & décolleté. 

Heck!

There's even a separate one for the hands!

I have to give the caveat, it's pricey! I did save $50. per item with a coupon code. Thank you, Kim!

https://youtu.be/IPZs7mox8W0

As most ladies & some guys know, the backs of the hands are just as important to take care of as the face, neck, décolleté (chest area for guys as in male people, since all people are getting lumped together regardless of gender). As important as preserving the health of the body, health of the spirit.

By choice, I'm all I have, so, it's important to me to take care of me.

The Omnilux Contour is so popular right now that they are all on backorder. I received my work bonus, I ordered it on April 20, 2021. It was delivered on May 11. 

PEEPS!

I was so excited!

I was also exhausted from pulling an all nighter with work. Determined to stay awake, I sat up, following the progress of the UPS truck. Meeting the driver ASAP. Out on the street. 

The excitement gave me enough adrenaline to go to the gym for a quick workout. Then, I came home to crash in bed after brushing my teeth & nightly skin care, of course. 😍

The next day, I used it for the first time. I was hooked! The mask is really comfortable, super easy to use.

Connect to charger, let it charge, put it on with the Velcro straps.

(This seemed like a fitting drag & drop. Thank you, your highness!)

It goes through a 10 minute cycle, on auto turn off. Fudging a little is okay, riiiiight? I went for another cycle, or two. 😈

Today is May 19. Not only do I see a difference, someone I saw who I haven't seen in awhile noticed the difference, too. I worked for several years to get my skin so healthy that I didn't need to wear foundation or concealment cream. Now? My skin looks even better. The person asked me if I had started wearing makeup to the gym.

Ha ha. Nope.

Before I became a convert, I spent a lot of fun in the sun. Going to the beach, doing some shake & bake. 

Now? 

I'm a convert to sunscreen. 50 SPF baby!

There were 3 sun damaged spots on my face ~ gone! Like they were never there. A little melasma from prego hormones ~ gone, too. From my experience. It's not Mickey D's, I sure am loving it.

Of course, inner beauty is of utmost importance. Being kind, being happy, treating others with courtesy, with compassion. Still, looking in the mirror, seeing nicer skin? It's very suh-weet. 

Heartbroken

This may be hard to understand, it may seem trivial. That's okay, all people have the right to feel as they do. It's a kind, compassionate action to be thelemic toward fellow human beings.

When I received the news, the tears began to flow. Have you ever heard the song or phrase, "Cry Me a River"?

It felt like I had a river, flowing down my face. Sadness overwhelmed me in an instant. 

A deep desire I had was crushed just like that!

Dreams of all that we would do together, taking care of him, giving him a happy life. Discovering all the parts of his personality.

It all evaporated.

Just   Like   That

People who know me, know that I have always loved animals. All animals. Birds, dogs, cats..............Horses!

Animals love me, too! Possibly they sense my care & love for them!

In 2018 I went to Colorado for 2 months to house sit for someone I have known for a long time. When I lived in Colorado, I loved to go to the USAFA Equestrian Center. 

I'm a very experienced rider, I love to be with a very cheeky horse. Horses that are a bit sassy, energetic. Yes, please!

When I went to the USAFA, they had a relatively new gelding. I think he was proud cut because he had a lot of energy, he was very vocal. He was only 8 years of age, so, yeah, his name fit him, well.

✨ Spirit ✨

The USAFA Stable staff takes very good care of their horses. It shows. The horses are happy, healthy, they even get every Monday off, turned out into the pasture.

When I signed in, to ride, I asked the staff person if they had a horse that had some energy, that needed an experienced rider to handle their personality.

That's when I met Spirit.

He was just the sort of horse that does it for me. When I climbed onto his back, the position of his ears showed that he was listening, he was checking out who this hooman was. I leaned forward to whisper to him.

"Hey there, horse guy! Thank you for letting me onto your back"

He nickered then shook his head, which, in  horse language means "Can we get going, already?"

All I did was to relax the reins & made a light clucking noise. He was ready to go!

The rule at the stables, to ride, is to only go as fast as a quick walk. Just below a trotting gait, faster than a leisurely walk.

This is a great rule, as there are some people who care more about their own enjoyment even to the detriment of the horse. Part of why I love to go to the stables is that the horses ARE well cared for.

Spirit took me through the trails of the mountainous acreage of the USAFA, he was looking around, nickering in reply as I talked to him.

I felt something I hadn't felt in a very long time.

Falling hopelessly in love with this magnificent equine. 

I felt a connection to him, so much about him to love. He had a scent that was a mixture of light sweat, stream water, the liniment that is put on horses to repel flies. 

He smelled so good to me!

The dream I have for my life is to pay cash for a horse, a house & a dog (maybe 2 dogs).

When I choose to buy an animal, I have to connect with the animal. It's an aspect that is difficult to explain, when you feel it, you will definitely know it.

It's that feeling people have when they meet another person who they feel, right away, they know they will marry that person.

Connection.

I knew that Spirit was the horse I wanted to buy.

While I was in Colorado, I spent as much time as I could with him. Riding through the mountains, brushing him, (with permission from the stable hands) feeding him little treats, talking to him. Most horses love to be brushed. It makes them feel good, kinda like most people like to be hugged or to get a massage. Horses make friends with each other by lightly scratching each other. That itchy spot they can't reach on their backs or their necks. Horses carry a lot of weight in their necks. Brushing or scritching that spot feels really good to them.

Oh yeah.

I fell in love with him!

I planned to buy Spirit once I was in a position to be able to care for him. Something a person who is acting responsibly, does. There is an equestrian trail that spans the miles between Colorado & Florida. My plan was to move to Florida, to have a place for him whether it was a horse property or a boarding stable. I would buy a 1 way ticket to Colorado, then, ride him to our new home in Florida. The equestrian trail possibly starts in Washington state or maybe Montana. There are bunk houses with corrals & pasture for the horses along the way on the trail. There is also an on call veterinarian just in case.

 

To reach that goal I had been working 80 hours per week. Adhering strictly to a budget I set for myself, saving, scrimping, preparing to be in a position to care for him. 

Horses are expensive, time consuming, to take care of properly. Their teeth continue to grow, the teeth have to be trimmed from time to time. If the teeth go untrimmed, the horse will develop sores from biting themselves. If it's let go long enough, the horse will stop eating, eventually starving to death. Hooves have to be trimmed, cleaned out. Hay, grain plus other foods are expensive. Horses need these to be healthy. Many Veterinarians require the horse to be brought to them. Like people doctors, most of them no longer make "house calls". For this, I will need to buy a truck to pull the trailer I will need to transport my horse to the Vet if needed. 

I won't even go into sheath cleaning for a stallion or gelding!!!! Use your imagination on that one. 

Some people were a bit alarmed when I told of my plan to ride Spirit from Colorado to Florida. People do this all the time, it's why the trail with accommodations was created. There was concern about my safety being on the trail, alone, with Spirit.

HAH!

I can definitely take care of myself. Having just enough fear to be cautious, confident in my self defense skills. Military training goes deep into the brain. When I have been in serious jeopardy, in the past, I felt the skills kick in. If someone attacks me, I won't call 911, so there won't be anyone coming to save them from me. 

Too late to apologize.

When I received the news that he had been sold, went to someone who fell in love with him just as I had. 

I was happy for him, so deeply sad for me. I cried all night that night, cried all day the next day. The tears kept flowing. The loss I felt was so deep, letting myself FEEL the loss.

All I have, now, are memories of him, pictures, a lock of his mane.

I will be okay, eventually.

Go Slow

The words echo within my mind in the voice of each person who I have ever heard, saying them.

Go slow.

It's a lesson I had to learn, still, it's progress. 

As the world moves at such a frenzied pace around me, I learned to go slow. As I see people who are going, going, going. Forgetting how to just be.

They are more human doings than they are human beings. Constantly doing, doing, doing. Rush here, go there. 24/7.

People who rush around without enough rest are aging faster, noticing less, hurry, hurry, hurry. Their frenzied past with inadequate rest is more harmful to health than tobacco use, alcohol or any other substance abuse.

I learned to slow down at an age when many people are revving up. Perhaps I was initially attracted to needlework as I saw its beauty. As I began, teaching myself as there was no one to teach me. Really, needlework taught me more than I had initially imagined it would. It taught me to live life at a slower pace. Simply having a desire to create such beauty with an art form that was within my reach was the motivation.

It was clean (I hate to get my hands dirty), it was very portable. Initially, it was inexpensive, within 1 week of starting a first project, I was mesmerized at seeing the design appear before my eyes.

My crack was a needle, beautiful fabric, the DMC Floss plus the sparkling fibers that I discovered. 

Then?

The beads, the charms of little buzzy bees, charms that were painted in a porcelain medium. As I corresponded with a penpal who became my mentor in converting from Aida fabric to beautiful linens in a myriad of sizes, colors, textures. 

If I was only hooked in my pre-linen stitching? I was obsessed, now, with stitching. I am forever grateful to Lee O'Neil of Chalk Hill, Pennsylvania who taught me so much with her letters.

When I moved to Kaiserslautern, Germany to the village of Rodenbach, I walked through the village with my children. Many German homes had their large front windows decorated as such beautiful showcases. Many of them had Hardanger valances hanging above a beautiful window ledge arrangement. 

I didn't know what it was, yet!

Lee O'Neil did!

She put together a wonderful package for me, with such care & love.

She gathered small pieces as swatches of each type of linen. Different sizes, textures, colors. 

She wrote a long letter to me describing what each one could be used for, their names. There was Lugana, Floba, Heatherfield, Dublin, Cashel, Belfast, Edinburgh, Newcastle. All are made as a natural color as well as many different colors they are dyed & sometimes custom dyed with beautiful backgrounds.

My wonderful penpal, Lee, also gifted me such a beautiful heart shaped Christmas ornament that drove me nuts in a good way! Just as I taught myself to begin stitching, there was no one around to teach me to do this breathtaking beautiful form of needlework known as Hardanger.

Every time I take the beautiful ornament out, that Lee gifted me, I say a heartfelt thank you to her for her kind & beautiful gift along with the tutelage. The initial inspiration to learn Hardanger stitching to create my own beautiful works.

Lee also introduced me to the beautiful designs by Judith Kirby, Nan Caldera of Just Nan designs. So much more! Wherever she is in the world, I am deeply grateful to her.

The ornament that Lee sent to me was one in a series of 14. I have stitched 10, eventually, I hope to have stitched all 14. The ornaments are stitched on cream Belfast 32 (32 squares to the inch). So pretty!

Even better?

It was my pleasure to meet the designer. 

Emie Bishop of Cross n Patch designs. It has been my pleasure to go to one of the "Mecca" of needlework shops, Shepherds Bush, in Ogden Utah. Emie Bishop lived close by. 

She very gracefully entered the shop on one of the times I was there. She seemed to be a very quiet, humble, elegant woman who spoke barely above a whisper. 

When she walked in, I knew exactly who she was, immediately! 

She had some of her new designs in a wicker basket, bringing them in to be sold by the shop, Shepherds Bush.

It's a moment I remember fondly, happy that I didn't act like an idiot as my heart was beating so hard, so fast, at meeting her.

I have been so fortunate to have met some of these power houses behind the beautiful designs I love! As much as I admire the designs of Janice Love, I have most of her design books, have not stitched her designs, yet, I definitely could! After teaching myself the Hardanger method of stitching, it helped me to overcome being intimidated by the way it looks so complex. It's 4 different basic stitches repeated over & over. Sometimes other stitches are also used. So beautiful!

I have met: 

Alma Lynne Hayden of Alma Lynne Designs. She was just as fun, sweet, kind & was so generous with her time. I went to my first needlework retreat in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Alma Lynne's home as well as the place where cross stitch was reborn on St Pawleys Island spurred by Ginnie Thompson!

Pat Carson of Gloria & Pat Designs. An elegant lady who spends her time doing good works in the world with needlework.

Susan Greening Davis whose Quaker inspired needlework is the epitome of simple elegance.

Emie Bishop ~ Already mentioned.

Nora Corbett who is the designer of a few different lines of designs. Mirabilia, Little Stitches, Nora Corbett Designs. She was as kind, gracious & generous with her time. An elegant, artistic designer with a quiet voice & great sense of humor!

Paula & Dan Minkbinge of Crossed Wing designs. This wife & husband team create such beautiful designs of birds along with some insects interacting with birds. These 2, like so many other designers, were very down to earth, very kind, very personable. It was a thrill to meet them after having admired their beautiful designs.

Frances Johnson, whom I spoke with on the phone, didn't meet in person. Her Hawai'ian designs are well known by stitchers who love Hawai'i. The way in which Frances uses her art to capture the spirit of Hula, traditions, natural beauty of the islands is very heartfelt.

It's an honor, to me, to have met these designers. It elevates stitching their designs to a whole new level of enjoyment.

It has been said, in my presence, that it must take so much patience to do the stitching, I do. 

In reality?

Even if you have very little patience, stitching teaches patience. 

The greatest teacher of "Go Slow."