O Wealth, Where arte thou?

If I had unlimited lucre for just one day
It would be used to send many cares away

A visit to the closest military installation to me
To bestow some Ben Franklin on all those I see

The warriors defending freedom at duty's call
Deserve so much more for giving their all

Transferring a million to my sweet sons bankroll 
He's such a good man with a heart of gold

Next stops would be a few restaurants in my town
Hard workin' servers 1K tips all around 

Animal shelter would be next to receive 5K
To brighten fur babies lives on that day

Feeling like Santa if only for that one day
To help keep the wolf at the door far far away 

At the end of a full day of such giving
It would add wondrous joy to this life I'm living 

Being filled with love, peace, joy is enough 
All I need is love, joy, peace, way less stuff

Hugs are always good much better than cash
Warm sweet hugs in a New York flash

These are the deep desires of my heart
To spread happiness to many whose lives fell apart 

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

This would be such a wonderful day, to be the good news fairy.

Namaste

PEOPLE....today,right here & now

There's a change in people.

Maybe it's me who has changed, matured, grown. Maybe. I reserve the right to be wrong. People seem to be less loyal & faithful to spouses, less happy in life, less willing to be kind.

Here's an FYI.

I'm as loyal as others are to me. Very happy.

Being kind is my natural personality.

Dare to be your authentic self.

Namaste 

Got Prevarication?

Sadly prevarication practices are far too common,in today's USA. Using the USA as a reference since it's where I currently reside.

The USA, land I love.

So, as a single girl, alone in the world, the high incidence of male prevaricators is sad. Became sufficient to cause me, a girl who loves men & nearly everything about men, to decide in 2012 that weeding through the liars, players, cheating lying married males was no longer worth the possibility of finding someone genuinely decent. The odds of winning a mult-million lottery are higher.

Yes, the same can be said about girls yet, I have never dated a girl.

No, never.

Common lies guys have told,such as.

I told her I was married 

(A lie told by the perp to defend himself from self guilt. He's already married, it gives him a valid out from committing while reaping benefits,also a feeble attempt to assuage his conscience while devastating the girl emotionally)

I told her I didn't want a relationship 

(See above, add cowardice to the mix. This is usually said right after obtaining his objective. Use your discernment)

Vanishing Act

Vanishing then reappearance for 1 - 52 weeks 

As an honest person I have not pulled any of these emotionally hurtful acts on a guy.

Dishonesty seems to be so prevalent. Little or no conscience among these with narcissistic, sociopathic behavior.

Do you do this?

Well....

Stop, drop, roll!

No, that's fire safety. :)

Learn not to get burned. Maybe similar.

Just stop doing this!

Since 2012, no prevaricators for moi.

Avoiding manthrax.

Living in peace.

Happiness.

Single  :D

Some Things

Some things I just know
In my heart 
Are so

Some things in this tender soul
Which I guard 
To stay whole

Loving caring listening giving 
Is a sweet way
Of living 

Simple joys quiet and small 
Feed my spirit to keep giving 
My all

No complete angel am I
I fail over & over although 
I try

This stubborn heart loves though battered 
To be healed and reborn as though nothing
Else mattered

Disappointment shame an embarrassed fool
So enraged 
So uncool

Triumphs successes such glorious pain
Fall down many times only to
RISE AGAIN!

Another Improvement, Another Milestone!

Woo hooooo!

Okay, so, it may seem small, yet, to me, it's HUGE!

As someone who was in phenomenal physical condition starting out as a military cop. At 18 I could run faster than anyone in my training unit out of 25 girls. I could run 8 miles faster AND feel great afterward, very short recovery time required before my breathing & heartbeats returned to a normal rate for me. 

After marrying, separating from the USAF, then, giving birth to 4 sweet babies, I slowed down drastically! Had to slow down to take care of the hubbs career demands, housework, children, no time or energy for exercise. 

Slowly the pounds piled on. With every sweet baby, I felt my metabolism slow a bit more. Having "fat genetics" was yet another factor. It was an excuse, a free pass, I gave myself for weight gain.

Finally, I reached a point where I was fat as hell & wanted my healthy, slim body back! Against the odds stacked up to deter me, I decided it was time.

What were the hurdles to overcome?

- Learned behaviors in bad eating habits from childhood 

- Sabotage by the huzz

- Discouragement at how hard it was going to be

- Slow metabolism 

Still, I was going to do it!

In previous BLOG posts, I wrote of many experiences in my fitness journey. Some of it has been left out. Partly because it's too personal or too emotionally painful or would be very tedious reading.

I've spared you some tedium on that. :)

Having been on this journey for a long time, I have received some very hurtful body shaming. Even as I'm working so hard every day, making strides, the discounting of all the hard work & struggles, it hurt deeply. Mainly because it came from people who were supposed to love me, who should have been supportive.

It's an imperfect world, my friends.

The ex huzz constantly made disparaging remarks

A longtime friend who told me how selfish it was for me to 

take 1 - 2 hours for my daily workouts (no longer a friend).

My own daughter who saw me at my heaviest weight 

A guy who I dated briefly for good reasons 

It's easier to believe the bad things.

Recently I have been making greater progress with planking, using my juicer 2-3  days per week. Also snacking on walnuts, raw cauliflower, celery bites. 

From the strictness of childhood then the restriction of clothing when I was a practicing member of the LDS Church, I never felt I could wear sleeveless tops.

As my body changes, developing more muscle, becoming more lean, I LIKE IT! I LIKE IT A LOT!

Yesterday, I decided to just try on the new workout tops designed to cover the shape of a sports bra. WOW! It looked so good!

My shoulders have so much more definition.

I bought 2. A dark blue & a bright pink, cuz, you know, I'm still a girl, I like things to match. :P

Wearing the blue one to the gym, instead of all covered up by a Tshirt! 

A year ago or even 6 months ago, I would have felt uncomfortable being out in public wearing sleeveless clothing.

Now?

Although I'm a conservative girl, I love the way this looks & feels!

The good changes are here to stay.

I think I will believe the good things, now!

Off to the gym.

Y'all have a beautiful day!!

Feeling Sweet & Sexy!

There! I said it!

Today started out really excellent. Happy, exciting energy charged dreaming all 

night, woke up feeling so alive!


Of course, as is my habit, woke up, 100 leg raises, into gym duds, head to gym 

with serious intent! Love the feeling of my clothes brushing against bare skin, 

nerve endings tingling from the sensation. A couple months ago, I started 

holding plank for 3 minutes before starting cardio. 1 mile on elliptical, 3 minute 

plank. Back to 1 mile on elliptical then a 45 minute strength training class, 

then, either 1 more mile on elliptical or 20 minutes on the Stairmaster. 

The body is the boss!

Am very tuned in to what my body is telling me it needs, wants. 



For this reason, it feels good to be super sensitive to the sensations of muscle 

movement, of new muscle development! 2 - 3 days per week I go back to the 

gym for additional cardio. Have to burn off fat to reveal the abs!

The initial sweat with each workout then, the burn setting in as I begin to push 

hard, Harder, HARDER! After a very intense cardio session, it feels like I could 

fly! Yupp! It feels that good! 

I'm average in looks, no supermodel, here. Ha ha! Yet, my workouts make me 

feel so frkn ALIVE! So sexy. Isn't that what self confidence is made of? Yes,it is.


So, with the exhilaration of my workouts, it makes me feel like being a 

sweetheart to other people. Not a doormat, yet, kind to myself, kind to others.

It's October, which means a new year is coming up. Could 2016 be the year 

you decide to change your life for a more fit, happier, more healthy one? If you 

aren't active & into fitness already, now, would be a good time.

I started this 11 years ago.

It feels as if I'm growing younger. In body, in mind, in spirit.

There are still up days & down days. More up days because I make them so!

Fitness & Happiness!

Getcha some!

Changes!


Do you enjoy changes in your life? 

or

Do you fear them, dread them, have anxiety over changes?

As a child, I lived in a very small town in lower Michigan from the time I was a couple months of age until I was 18 years of age. 
Being constantly surrounded by everyone & everything that was familiar was comforting. Many of the same classmates I knew in Kindergarten were also the ones I knew in elementary school, then Junior HS, then High School and on to graduation. Most of the same classmates were there plus a few more. 
Having a mother and father who both came from large families, I was surrounded by family members all the time, even went to school with a few cousins plus a few of the same people I went to church with......when I DID go to church. 
Our church attendance was usually based upon whether someone had offended my mother the last time we went. It was also based on whether my father was drinking heavier or not. So many variables, what a wonderful life (sarcasm).

There were very few really drastic changes in my life up until the age of 18. Michigan is known for its fierce winters ~ very true! The seasons changed, the scenery changed, everything else pretty much stayed the same.

Looking into, then entering into the US Air Force, I didn't anticipate the rapid rate at which life would begin to constantly change. Living a mundane country life, it was something that took a lot of getting used to. Just during Basic Training aka Boot Camp, there were so many changes. Arriving at Lackland AFB in San Antonio, Texas the first change was huge! I had never been friends with or really known any black or Hispanic people, I also had never been yelled at by anyone besides close family members. 
I arrived at Lackland AFB in a light blue summer blouse and a mid-calf dark blue skirt & open toe heels.
wth was I thinking? Ha ha!
Probably wasn't thinking. I didn't do much of that up to that point. That was about to change in a really big way!

So, to fast forward, I learned military law, military dress code, military marching & maneuvers, how to salute as well as who to salute, when to do it. I learned that I could not be shy, had to speak up, yet, only when to do so.
Up to that point, I was quite shy, mainly keeping quiet to avoid a beating from my parents belts, coffee pot cord, tree switches or any other torture device they could grab.
I learned to get along, participate in team work with the other trainees. Other trainees from all different circumstances. All different ethnic backgrounds, socio economic backgrounds, religions & points of view.

It was definitely different!

Graduating from Basic Training brought more change. Moving from Basic Training open bay dorms to a barracks with 2 -3 women in the room, communal bathrooms & showers. Still, I was a bit reserved, a bit shy, other trainees perceived it as being snobbish. With my humble beginnings?
HAH! Far from being a snob.
Because I kept quiet most of the time, I was blamed for things I didn't do, I was too intimidated, too afraid to speak up, even, on my own behalf. Too afraid to defend myself.

That began to change (there's that word) when we entered the self defense classes during training. When entering the USAF I was a skinny, shy girl. Now, after rigorous months of running, marching every where, daily calisthenics, I was stronger, more confident, more bold when approached.

Training time was over, time to move on to my first duty station. Hickam AFB, Honolulu, Hawai'i!!
Big changes ahead!
Moving from dorm to dorm, different room mates, moving off of Hickam AFB when it was too dangerous for me to live there, more training. WOW! Rotating work schedules. Lots of change.

My time in Hawai'i was up, I moved to Edwards AFB. Only 2 dormitory changes. Slightly easier.

Then, came some of the biggest changes of all. Marriage, separating from the USAF, babies. WOW! Enough to make my head spin.

Having married a military guy, I was still in that military environment that felt so comfortable to me. We moved 22 times in 18 years. Sometimes to another town, sometimes to another part of the town or base, sometimes to another country ~ with 4 kiddos. 
Since I was the one who had to make sure the kiddos, the hubbs, the meals & furniture were taken care of - even if it's only 2 miles down the road - it's definitely a move!

Through it all, hubbs loved moving, he seemed to relish change as much as I feared it. This is a valuable lesson I learned from him, to feel the excitement from change, to fearlessly embrace it!

When things became too difficult to salvage a difficult marriage gone sour, I began to actually look forward to the change. The divorce went smoothly, although, he screwed me over on many counts, unbeknownst to me at the time.

Getting out on my own was scary at first. The nightmares, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, feeling such a gamut of emotions until I began to adjust, to normalize. I began to feel that freedom that I felt when I left my parents oppression at 18. Having experienced the same caliber of control & oppression in marriage, the new freedom was joyful, liberating, scintillating! 
The ex hubbs had taught me to embrace change....well...I was definitely embracing the bejewels out of this change!

My 4 kiddos didn't want much to do with me, which was a bit sad. They had learned from their father that his uber controlling of me, his deep insults he hurled at me, his lying to me in order to manipulate me and his kiddos, they had seen this as normal. It's NOT normal, it's unhealthy, unkind.

So, I was back to where I started before. Free of an oppressive hubbs, no responsibility toward children. He had made it clear that he would fight me for 100% custody. I didn't want to put my kiddos through a custody battle.
Many people faulted me for not fighting, I had been fighting for 10 years. I was done fighting.

So.....here was some big ol change! I moved from one town home to a second one. Then into a duplex in The Broadmoor Area. That was an awesome change!

Through many traumatic events, I found it neccessary to move to Texas. The morning I left, I thanked the place I had called "home" for 4 years for sheltering me. Called my 2 sweet yorkies who happily jumped up on the front seat of the 17 foot U-Haul truck. I dollied my car behind the big truck. Getting the map out, headed toward the interstate, started the drive @ 1000 hrs, arrived in Texas @ 2300 hrs!!
It was a bit scary. 
It's what I like to refer to as "deliciously scary"!

The first home, didn't feel right so I moved again, then to a third home until I moved into the home I presently live in.

It feels like home.

A new remodel, a fantastic Landlord. Feels good.

Learning to embrace change, I know there's more up ahead!

Know what I say???

BRING IT!