It's a boy!

At the risk of sounding cliché, there are so many different aspects in a mother to son relationship. 

From my own experience, nearly everything was different from my other 3 "with child" times with my daughters. My hormone levels were very different, he was not my largest baby, yet, he was definitely the most active. I felt his tiny body moving beginning with 4 months gestation. It felt like a soccer game with just one player.

It was a happy time, an easier time. When I received a positive pregnancy test, it was merely a formality to receive insurance coverage for pre-natal care, delivery plus post natal care. It was such an easy time, at 7.5 months, that, on a family road trip, driving from Omaha, Nebraska to Claremont, California? 

I drove all the way from Omaha, Nebraska to St. George, Utah, while the rest of the family slept.

When I was asked if I was going to have a baby, at 6 months, during that time when I just looked like I had been hitting the ice cream too hard? My reply, as I knew who this little person was going to be. "Nope, this is my Nolan."

Please excuse me for refraining from a litany of aerie faerie talk in regards to how I knew. I knew with complete certainty that this was not just any boy baby. This was my son who visited me in spirit form years before his entrance into the world, in the flesh.

A wee bit of aerie faerie, there.

When my son was born, I was officially off the hook.

Mm Hm, many women might identify with this. Most men want a son so much. When a blessed union produces all daughters, of course the father loves as well as cherishes his daughters. Openly or sometimes secretly, most men want a son. 

This puts a lot of pressure on a woman to give the love of their lives, the desired baby boy. There seems to be such a feeling of relief in the mother, accompanied by the complete joy of the father, when a healthy baby boy is born.

Many people may speculate that the desire for a son is to fulfill the need to continue the family line, the family name. It seems there is much more to this innate desire than simply carrying the family line forward.

Even the royal family of the UK used to have a strong rule that a son, as well as ONLY a son, for the most part, could ascend the throne as a ruling monarch.

That rule has changed from only males to being next in line by birth order.

Queen Mary, Queen Elizabeth I as well as Queen Victoria faced some difficult hurdles to rule as Queen of the UK.

As it stands in 2021, there is less of a need to produce a male heir, yet, the pressure is mostly on, to give a man the son he desires. It puts a lot of pressure on the mother with circumstances she has very scant control over.

Sincerely, I hope, that if a man is reading this, he will have his heart touched. That he will refrain from putting that pressure on his wife.

Having felt the pressure, I can say that it's very uncomfortable.

My son was different, very distinctly male immediately following his birth. He was a breast fed baby, so were his sisters, yet, even as an infant, he was thrilled at the sight of cleavage. He was a nursing mothers dream! He was the only one who knew right where his next meal was, how to get it, taking only as much as he needed. He would fall directly into a milk coma after burping himself. This is a redundant statement, it was a nursing mothers delight.

Whereas his sisters, when given a small toy that made noise, would shake it, delight in the rattling noise, shake it a few more times, cooing followed by sweet baby laughter.

My son?

He would shake it, shake it like a polaroid picture, give a slightly throaty laugh, throw it against the wall, then fuss until I retrieved it for him. He was more active, foregoing naps at around 8 months of age. That was so much fun! 

My son was a very easy, very happy baby. This was a fortuitous circumstance as he & his younger sister were very close in age. There is a lack of preference within me as to whether baby boys are easier or baby girls.

The love in my heart for my daughters & son is equal.

Casual Sex

The phrase, alone, seems titillating with visions of dance clubs filled with a hundred or more beautiful people. The app, Tinder, in the UK, Dates 25. Various illicit web sites where males have lured women in to film a casual sexual act to post online.

In truth, the very phrase is a myth, a misleading misnomer for something so insidious, so damaging to the human psyche. It's damaging equally to guys and girls no matter how willing or unwilling the people are. 

All a person has to do is tune in to the multiple genealogy videos & real life descriptions of the pain from the children who were the result of so called "casual sex." 

At the least?

The act of using another person to satisfy an urge or an itch can skew a males view of women as disposable, lacking in value. Simply an object . 

A casual diversion with potential catastrophic events to follow.

The difference is that it's more complicated for a teen age girl or sometimes one in her 20s or more. With every male that lures  her with flattering words , lies, excessive liquor, her fear & hatred of males starts to grow stronger with each negative experience.

Often she is left with an unexpected pregnancy, no way to contact the biological father, low money or no money. Her fear of what has happened with the shame she might feel, having nowhere to turn, no one to turn to.

Not so casual for her.

Does she try to make herself miscarry the baby, seek out an abortion clinic. Lots of fear, anger, depression, shame. As her hormones surge through her body, it's one more complication she didn't realize that she might have to face.

Even less casual. 

As the male who impregnated her goes about his life, on the lookout for his next sexual encounter. He's thinking that he's quite the stud, seeing girls & women as just for fun.

What he's actually doing is creating the scars on his own psyche, on his own view of 49% of the worlds population. He's shaping the view of 49% of the world population. 

Do you still believe it's casual?

With the readily available DNA testing, many truths have begun to surface. Like the scum in a pond or lake, that which people believe is safely buried will eventually rise to the surface. Because DNA is easier to trace to the mother of a child, again, it's the mother, the woman who was so carelessly used then discarded, who most often bears the pain. It's the pain she will bear from her lapse in judgment. Being so naïve as to believe that the one who uttered such flattery actually meant what was said. In her inexperience, is somewhat convinced that the person seducing her might actually care about her. The start of something meaningful, something good.

In reality, the person said anything they believed was what she wanted to hear. 

SCORE!

Another notch on belt or bed post. She was only a fun diversion.

It's probably sounding less & less casual.

It's easier to trace the mother of a child as there is often a circumstantial trail as well as a paper trail. When a girl/woman checks into a hospital, her fingerprint is taken most of the time that I'm aware of. I could be wrong, I am fine with owning up to a mistake if it's found that I have made one.

Sounding less & less casual.

All it would take is for just one man to be a decent human being to her.

Another route that a pregnancy can take is something I have so much pain even imagining. It's my own personal belief. It may be fine with some people, it's something I know I could never do.

It's obvious that what is being described is termination of the life of the growing fetus.

The most vulnerable people in the world. 

YES!

The growing baby is not a giraffe or a puppy. He or she is a person.

Even this act has severe repercussions for a potential mother. If she terminates a pregnancy, most will remember what would have been milestones in a childs life had she chosen to carry the baby to full term. The torment is felt in varying degrees. Often, if more than one or two terminations are done? The human body in all of it's miraculous functions, can learn how to rid the body, naturally, of the developing baby.

A very famous example is the beloved, late, Marilyn Monroe. She was said by a close friend to have had as many as seven fetal terminations early in her career. Her body had learned how to miscarry the baby. She never was able to carry a baby to full term to live her deep desire to become a mother.

Definitely not casual.

So, now, I hope you're still reading. I hope that my blog entry has made you think, given more realization of how sacred the act should be.

Less secret, more sacred.

Age of Wonder

 

(cue in the voice of the Star Trek announcer) 

Age

The final socially acceptable form of discrimination. These are the attitudes of the human race. 

My mission: 

To examine the outdated attitudes toward people of all different ages whether older or younger. To seek out an understanding of others older or younger. To boldly assist you, who are reading this, to  reconcile within yourself, the value of other humans based on who they are. Not on their age, car they drive, phone they use or any box you previously tried to put them into. To realize that people should only be put in a box after death.

Challenge your preconceptions or they will challenge you.

To a child of 5 years or so, in age, 21 seems quite aged. 30? Ancient! When a person reaches those apex positions, it seems so young. If it doesn't then maybe it's time for a check up!

The same can be said of reaching the age of 40. Age 40 may sound quite old to someone who is still in single digits or as a teenage person. In reality, 40 is a wonderful age to be. 

At age 50, many people are taking on the challenge of their first marathon or even a triathlon. When a person has taken care of their body, their mind, their spirit, age 50 is still quite youthful

At age 60, many people are still running, seeking higher education, some have even become mothers or fathers. Good health is all that is required to be able to continue a happy, fulfilling life.

At age 70, many people might re-unite with a past love or someone totally new. They might have started a second career or even a third one. A septuagenarian could have also been running marathons for many years or might be just starting.

An octogenarian can, quite often, be as active or more physically fit than a person in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s or more.

Scientific studies have proved that, barring any catastrophic disease or injury, what a person does to take care of their body makes the difference. What a person does in their teens will affect them in their 20s. What a person does in their 20s will affect them in their 30s, then, so on. 

People who decide, in their 40s or 50s, to get all of their teeth pulled, seeking a dentist to be fitted with dentures, get a doctor to order a walking cane for them? No bueno.

If a person takes care of themselves, age is mostly irrelevant. The stereotypes that held true for many years, apply less now than ever.

Whether a person runs every day or works out at home or at a commercial gym, exercise is extremely important!

A person who has abused their body with excessive tobacco usage, alcohol, junk food (it's called junk for a very good reason). A person who dabbles in illegal substances or even succumbs to the pressure of big pharma. 

Instead of looking into things they could do to improve their health, they allow a medical doctor to prescribe multiple pharmaceuticals.

It makes a huge difference between a person who takes care of their body like a temple or lets it run down like a crack house.

There are far too many crack houses walking around.  😏

My main point is this, take care of your body, it will take care of you!