Such is Life

I know who I am
Do you?
All that I am
From all I've been through

I've been hurt too much
I've been lied to and played
Thinking each one was the answer
For all that I'd prayed

I bounced back with a broken spirit
Less trusting each time
Taking pause for healing
This soft heart of mine

I'm still standing still smiling
Also happily single
No longer desire
To couple up or to mingle

My desires are more toward
Exploring the great indoors
Immune to the charms 
Of the many man-whores 

My desires are for peace
Of spirit of mind
Of creating a body
More toned more defined

My desires are toward
Doing kind things for the many
Who have lost hope 
Down to a last penny

I know who I am 
So much more than I seem
Doing good in the world
Living the dream

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Give back, watch the ripple

Though the PIF movement is a few sandwiches short of a picnic, IMHO.
Can you tell that cliche is less than a fave?

Giving to others, expecting little to nothing in return, when receiving a great stroke of fortune, is part of my character.

The generosity without an agenda is a bright spot in the world.

Try it, please report back!

Lifetime of......

Every day, at every opp, learning is a quintessential joy for moi.

As Christian Carter succinctly said:
If you stop growing you're dying.

So, peeps, what does it mean to grow?

Being less of an academic scholar, more of a life scholar, to me, to grow, it's important to embrace change. Change is a beautiful, scary to some, still, a beautiful force that pulls one softly along into what becomes the future!

For this reason, bathing in the constant stream of change keeps excitement, verve, zest, propels me forward.

Sticking to the past. Music of the past, styles of the past, past lovers, past troubles, will put a person into a rut.

What is a rut? 

A rut is a feeling of slow creeping depressing misery that creeps up so stealthily like a boa constrictor squeezing the life out of its' prey.

How do you boil a frog?

S l o w l y.

Most people, like frogs, know enough to jump out of extreme heat. When the heat is turned up slowly, just like, slowly slipping into a rut, many people will stay, comfy, loving the moment. Enjoy, that is, until the depression, the feeling of stale, sets in.

There is still method to jumping into growth & excitement.

Change.

Possibly a wee bit uncomfortable for many.

This is what it's about.

When you begin this practice, it's a feeling of being as if you're growing younger. (Personal experience.)

Been there, doing it, considering designing a T- shirt!!!! 

I know my chrono age. Feeling as if I am 25 years or so is fantastic! 
No meds needed, love whatever is new. It excites my soul!

A lifetime of learning is so very worth it.

A lifetime of continual newness keeps me feeling the electric buzz! 

Keep going, m'loves! 

Continual newness keeps life fresh!

Miracles

 Do you believe in miracles?
Have you witnessed a miracle?
No?
Are you sure?

I hope you have witnessed miracles in your life thus far. Maybe you have witnessed miracles with having a lack of recognition.

What are modern miracles, you may ask? You may ask.

Every time you flip a light switch! The hours upon hours of study, trying & failure until trying & success brought this simple miracle of captured electricity.
If you are paying a utility bill, you are paying for a miracle (vs "praying" for a miracle!) See what I just did?? A miracle! *POOF*

Every blade of grass that pushes its' way out of a small seed, with all its' God given might through the weight of dirt plus gravity. It's fighting to be born.
Like the greatness inside of you!
It HAS potential. You have great potential.
It wants to be born.
Against all odds, against all forces. You were born, so, your potential wants to be born, to touch, to reach, to grow, to be.

To grow into who you can be. The choice is yours.

When I need a miracle, when I want to witness a miracle?
I plant something. Admittedly, it's a part of me, to grow the plant beings of the earth. My daddy had a huge garden most summers.
He showed me the possibilities of seeds, plants.
Astounding! 
He hoed the rows, showed me how to drop the seeds a certain space apart, then, we went back to cover each seed with just enough dirt. A few weeks later, there were rows of hundreds of little green sprouts peeking up out of the earth.
Those sproutings grew into plants that fed our large family, as well as extended family. 
Daddy's garden skills fed us through the GM strikes, lay offs, recession, winter heating bills, threatened financial instability.

It taught me the joy of growing plant beings.

Yes, plants are beings, too. 

Put this miracle producing method to task if you wish, if you are so inclined to need a miracle or to create one for yourself.
It takes desire, time, plus the most important aspect of caring enough to nurture another being from a speck of a seed to a plant.

Other miracles?

Are you here?

Hello?

OH! There you are! 

You 
are
a 
miracle.

A miracle of thousands of years of evolving species. 
Human Species.

In the past couple months, for a reason I know not, I was in a funk.
Some call it a rut, low place, depression (maybe). I felt so sad.
I cried myself to sleep at night, I slept any moment possible. 

Peeps!

My housekeeping suffered. This was a further hindrance to happy.

Yesterday, I awoke with the haze of sadness lifted. The possible cause of chasing the boogeys was that I MADE myself get to the laundromat to wash clothes, bed linens, towels, even rugs! The feeling that the fresh scent of cleanliness gave me, had impact!

https://youtu.be/hjdbXdTt48E 

It took strength + effort to push to do that!

Why couldn't I have done it earlier?

Ah dunno.

This, to my heart, was a miracle. Am so deeply grateful for it.

Overhauling my kitchen was first.
Then my bedroom.
(Several loads of laundry)
Then my bathroom.
If it doesn't seem like a miracle to you, it's okay, it felt like it.

I'll take it!
I'll acknowledge then be grateful for it.
There was help.
What help?
MUSIC!
PRAYER!
SUNSHINE!
CHOCOLATE!

Miracles of electricity, birdsong, instantly available nourishment.
(Ah loves mah lettuce, spinach, carrot & bell pepper beings!)

Peeps, I challenge you to look for your own personal miracles in your life, then cherish that which you find. If you have progeny, there ya go.
If not, then plant something or just sit there, breathe in, breathe out, look at the beautiful green beings singing as they grow around you.

This is the miracle of life. Enjoy it!

Going Back

It's often said you can never go back
I've learned that it's so untrue
Soon I'll be living the dream
Of soaking in the ocean blue

Basking in the warm sunshine
In the company of a good friend
The excitement is starting to build
Starting this very weekend

It's not a Coldplay epic concert
It's not all the millions I've got (☺)
I'll focus on the blessings I have
Instead of those I have not

Reaping in the happiness
Gathering all of the sweet
Letting myself feel joy
With every new day I greet

Here we go ready or not
With our adventurous plans
It's clear to see it's no mystery
I just had to back to the islands

Watching the palm trees sway
Watch the sun set then rise
On golden sands
I just had to go back to the islands

💃💃💃💃💃💃🕺💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃

Touch My Soul ~ Coldplay!

                                                   Yeah.


At times I can be somewhat dense, a bit of a thicker plank. It's important to delve deep, to figger things out. When touched by anything or anyone, it causes pauses. 😁

Dwelling on something until it's figured out why someone or something enters my path, catches my attention. 

Musht Inveshtigate!

Wondering within & without why the music of this boyband touches me like it does.

Oh, the guys are, all four, insanely attractive, multi-talented, yet, there's more to it.

Their sexy British accents help.

They are, all 4, very humble, very honest, open, approachable, reachable. Those traits, being present in all members of a music band is so very rare.
They are so very different in so many good ways.

Good people. Imperfect, good people.

I remember the first time I heard The Scientist, so much truth, raw emotional confession of feeling. Confession that only one man has ever shown me, fully meaning it, with words from his heart. 

He will remain a mystery to all until I see him again.

If you care to listen to this heartfelt, very touching song.

https://youtu.be/gm-Y9idMMQ4

Come out to meet you 
Tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart

How touching is that?
The answer, deeply touching. The heart that this song comes from is, indeed, a beautiful heart. Guy or girl. Few people are so in touch with their feels that they can compose words with music like this. 

Trillions of people, one planet, millions of musicians & composers.

The music of Coldplay (they were almost called Starfish!) is truly as unique as the musicians, themselves. Chris Martin often closes his eyes while performing. He's into it, he's swaying, bobbing his head, rocking to and fro in full hip thrusts working the pedals on the piano as he plays.
He's REALLY expressive.
By contrast, Jonny Buckland, has his moves. He moves slightly to the left, when playing guitar onstage, sometimes he moves very slightly to the right. 
He's focused. 
It's crystal that he and Chris are close friends. When Chris approaches Jonny during a performance, Jonny's smile lights up the stage!!!!! Especially during the song, Heroes, when Chris looks in Jonny's eyes, telling Jonny that if he could be King, Jonny could be Queen!
Akin to one dude asking another dude:
"Hey, how's your wife & my kids?"
Obviously joking. (maybe!)

Guy Berryman is just insanely hott - hott - hott! He is so focused, when onstage. He rarely looks up from his guitar. He's a guitar god! As a very stoic Scotsman, when he looks up, when he smiles, OH! Be still, my heart! Ladies ~ he's married. *sigh* I can still look.

Why does the music of this group touch me so very profoundly?
Easy answer.
Their words & music are as profound as the band members are.

They hold an element that is rare in today's world. Actually, they display many elements that are precious AND rare.

Honesty
Truthfulness
Sincerity
Humility
Kindness
Caring
Generous
Approachable
Music without bitches & ho's references

They sing of genuine feelings in such an original way that very few musicians do. Chris hits high notes, his voice sometimes cracks, he has been known to forget the words to a song.
This is when he stops, apologizes, admits, asks the audience if it's okay with them if he starts the song over.
It's all a part of his infectious charm.

The few times that Will Champion (drummer) has sang in one of Coldplays concerts, he killed it! He did such a great job! It makes  me wonder if he might sing lead vocals more often in the future!
When Will is on drums he is REALLY working it, giving all that he has in his performance. Fascinating to watch.

This, along with so much more, is how Coldplay has touched my soul at a time in my life when I need it more than ever.

No one ever said it was easy. 
No one ever said it would be this hard.

What's it all about?

 Yellow

The ditty by Coldplay.

What's it all about?

Jonny Buckland: Bananas
Chris Martin: I wrote it in 10 minutes, to make my mates giggle.
Will Champion: Um, ask Guy.
Guy Berryman: (silence with a smile)

This is honesty. This is truthfulness.
Guys & Gals ~ This is Coldplay.

As Chris Martin, when asked by Howard Stern said, "The stars are not really yellow, are they?"
Chris Martin: "No, of course stars are not yellow, except, maybe on Christmas cards. Everyone knows that, Howard."

Howard Stern, was, momentarily stumped. VOILA! Voici le fool!

Chris Martin is a self taught musician, he speaks bits of several languages. He is the front man for Coldplay. He explains it like this, with his animated face, irresistible smile, sparkling blue eyes:

"Well, it's like this. When you work with three very intelligent men who are smart enough to remain quiet, I'm a natural loudmouth. So, I'm the loud mouth in the group, I'm rather dim, so, I'm also a loudmouth while the other guys are the good looking ones. They are smart enough to remain quiet & let me loose to look like an idiot!"

Talented, witty, self deprecating, intelligent. Coldplay. 

I would say that Chris Martin, along with the other 3 guys in the band are all fantastically talented, handsome guys. It's pointed out how Guy is the hottest one, Mr. G.Q. Have to admit, he is hott! A true guitar god!
From the  courageous leaps they have all taken, none are yellow.

Guy Berryman, of course he's hot, he's a Scot! Look at that jawline, the great hair! *sigh*

 

Lovely Spirituality

We are spiritual beings having an earthly physical experience.

Exercising arms, legs, back, abs as physical beings, makes a body stronger, more developed. Tuning into the spiritual side, listening to it, will make a person stronger spiritually.

On occasions when I shared this precious part of my life experience with persons in my trust, they were astounded, even a bit envious.

It's something so intimate, I share it with very few.

On a daily basis, I am cradled in the arms of whom can only be the Holy Spirit. The still, small voice who comforts, guides, prompts, instructs. It's been a learning process. Learning to listen.

Being imperfect, a sinner who tries to be a better human ~ yup. Me.

I'm one who subscribes more to spirituality, less to organized religion.

Being guided by the spirit is a daily aspect in my life as it can be in everyone's life. It's everywhere. It exists without the need to go to a church, a synagogue, a mosque, a temple or even a forest. 
Many people believe going to an organized religion affiliated place such as a home or building, will make them a better person.

It's something that many people are conditioned to believe. Socially conditioned, parental conditioned to believe.

Sitting in a church won't make someone a better person any more than sitting in a garage will turn a person into an automobile. Sitting inside a barn won't turn a person into a horse or cow, either.

Was that a news flash for you? You smiled, didn't you? Good!

Many of my spiritual experiences are too personal to share online. I will share my most recent experience which is less intimate.

I was inspired to send a rather large amount of help to someone. The spirit was prompting me over and over. I was a bit reticent. Finally, when I knew I would be out of town, unable to use the resources to send this help I was prompted to send, I sat down, said a prayer, followed the promptings.

A week later, the person I had sent the help, to, contacted me. She had a rather dire medical emergency. The help I sent was the exact amount needed to cover the medical emergency. The HS knew.

People will, at times be untruthful, at times be truthful. The HS is always truthful, can always be trusted. 
It's my role to listen, to obey. 

Having experienced this during my entire life, I know that listening to the HS is more of a privilege which is to be embraced, then reaping the protection the inspiration provides. The HS will only speak to those who are open to the messages given.

Everyone has this privilege, it's up to everyone as to what they do with it.
As to whether each person listens so as to encourage promptings.

Do as thou wilt. 

Know this. 

It's always, always a choice!

Memorable

Precious to me in life:

An Alpha males declaration of love

Kisses & hugs from a child

Sunday conversations with my youngest
Elephant garlic! Mmm!

Apologies

Sincerity

A horse who accepts me as I am

Living in freedom

The scent of testosterone

Friendship

Abundance of nourishment

My high energy level

My country

Sacrifice of Military people (Thank you, so much, from my heart!)

Kind people

This is what comes to my mind in wee hours of the morning, watching wedding videos for my needed dose of romance aka happiness!

There's more.

Bitten

It starts as a gentle breeze subtle to the eyes
Slowly moving as a sunset or sunrise
Softly

It continues as steady as a river as it flows

As steady as the progress in the opening of a rose

Steady

It takes a heart with sureness of form

Giving a feeling of release of warm

Building

It brings such feelings of climbing elation

The hum of a songs melodious vibration

Sensuous

You're losing weight feeling happier than ever

Without realizing you have slowly caught the fever

New love.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Vocal Quality

When I answer my cellie, then hear the greeting:

"Hi Mom!"

I know who it is. My first born, sweet baby who is now an elderly baby. She has a unique perspective, one of a kind, her own way of doing things.

People tell me she looks a lot like me.

WHAA??????

Looking at this gorgeous girl with a deviously creative mind, a heart of gold, if she looks so much like me I'm one hot mama!

She's quite a surprise, starting at birth. You see, I have strawberry blonde hair with light green eyes. When I named her in my heart at the age of 15, I pictured her looking more like me.

She was so beautiful at birth, just as she was. A full head of fine black hair that curled up at the ends, violet eyes.

She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen and she was mine, all mine! That was my first impression of motherhood.

Watching her grow, mature, go through her trial & error, I held my breath, held back from helping her too much. Loving her enough to believe in her that she could handle life as I had taught her to.

When we were making her wedding dress, although she was late or a no show for half of the fitting appointments, I'm still happy that we did it. She looked so beautiful in her Hawai'ian wedding dress!

Married to her prince of choice, she will only live close enough to me to drive for a visit for 2.5 months longer. *sigh*

When I visit her, in San Antonio, at the end of my visit, she stands in the front yard, seeing me off as I prepare to drive away. Her long brown beautiful hair, gleaming eyes, her sweet smile, I see my little girl, again.

I love her so much. 

**************************************************************

FB Forecast

A few trolls with a chance of judgement toward frenemies with some ignorance. Ageist attitude is present yet from personas non-gratis.

Michio Kaku is a brilliant physicist who quoted a few celebs plus a few equally intelligent minds as saying that the internet was going to connect people like never before.(This was 10 - 20 years ago.)

It has done that.

There's another aspect to it, though. As people have lost their civility, stopped teaching kindness & courtesy to their children, the worst side of many proliferates.

You probably know what this refers to.

Mmm hm. 

The ever present internet trolls. Their snarky, inappropriate rudeness toward people who they don't know much about yet passing way harsh judgment upon.

These trolls will cut others to the quick with age shaming, body shaming, social shaming. 

What can be done?

Well, these people who troll the internet on social media, video channels, message boards, are broadcasting their insecurity.

It is only they who can help themselves. It's their responsibility.

The only time one person should change or try to change another is when they are an infant with a dirty nappie. 😁

Again, what can be done?

There are many alternatives, here is one I use. Just as a stray animal will only keep coming 'round when it gets fed or some sort of attention, trolls will only keep trolling on the internet when fed.

When they get the attention they seek, the troll will keep trolling.

As a person who loves people, loves peace, enjoys being kind, I simply block the person. When they show their ignorance, their attention seeking rudeness, I simply walk away. The blocking feature is most helpful in such a circumstance.

Drama is started by an insecure person who's bored with their life. The proverbial troll who lives in a dark basement surviving on Cheetos & Mountain Dew may apply. Often, it's simply a bored, insecure person reaching for whatever attention they can get. Humans are hard wired to only keep doing something when they are getting something in return. Positive attention, negative attention. Both forms of attention are still attention.

It's sad, it's something I truly struggle to understand.

I am the same in person as I am online. 

When someone is rude to me irl, I simply walk away. The person has shown a lack of courtesy, lack of respect, not just toward me, it was also toward themselves.

Whereas many people get a personal thrill from being rude to another, it thrills me to be kind. Whether it's opening a door for someone, helping them do something (clean a house, cook a meal, care for a pet etc.) It makes me feel happy to help others.

Caveat ~ This has to be exercised with caution. Predatory persons are out in the world looking for people who are kind. It's a delicate balance to be kind while guarded against those who would abuse it.

I digress.

Trolls on the internet are a sad fact of life in todays world.

Just today, I blocked 3 trolls who verbally attacked my online post which they did not agree with. 3 trolls ID'ed, 50 million to go. 😇

Drama is for drama queens & drama kings. 

I choose happiness, peace & kindness.

Inspired

It's late in the day. Almost over.

Still, the inspiration is there to write, so, here am I!!!!

This girl has her full potential fully within her grasp. Knowing it's often hard to see, much less grasp.

Having accomplished so much. Much more than her peers have done in the same amount of time.

Being a bit-o-me-ish, this is the way I see her.

She is kind.

She is compassionate.

She is so intelligent.

(love that!)

She's frkn beautiful!

(even without makeup, she's gorgeous!)

She's educated.

She's been burned yet her hope is alive in her heart, also unwilling to trust very much or very extensively, a bruised heart is something I comprehend.

Reiterating, a bruised heart is easy to comprehend for moi.

She is the manager of the gym I go to, yet, so much more than that.

When we have life conversations, I wish, oh peeps! I wish with all my heart that I had a magic wand to wave to grant all of her wishes.
(If there's enough magic left, do a wee bit more for others.)

Being a "I want to fix it" person can be a challenge at times.

I lost my magic wand in my move to Texas!

Ditto for my crystal ball.

If she could see herself as she really is, instead of how she sees herself, see herself for realz vs how she appears in the world, she would rise up, be so different than she has ever been !!!!!

All I can do is all I can do.

She is wonderful just as she is!

She believes that somewhat.

Believing that she is enough, just as she is, is my wish for her!

She

Her birth was inspired by a visit to me by an angel. In your wisdom, you can choose to view it as aerie fairie or you can open your thought processes to understanding.
Much easier to believe when it happens to you, up close, personal.

I remember it, baby oh baby, I remember the vision, the message, as if it was only a day ago. 

The message :

"The timing of the birth of your fourth child is important. She needs to be born, soon. The timing of her birth is important.

My reply:

"Lord, you know I love you. I have not yet delivered my third baby!"

The reply:

"Your fourth child needs to be born soon!"

My commitment:

"Lord, I will do as you have told me to do."

Please bear in mind, being only human, far from being perfect, in that phase of my life, doing the will of the Lord was my strongest desire.

When I was able to speak with the one who was my spouse at the time, he was less than convinced. Once my 3rd child & only son, was born, my spouse was self convinced that our family was complete.

The desire to be obedient to my Lord, my God was strong.

When my son was 10 months old, I found that I was 1 month gestation with my fourth baby.

Obedient to the Lord, fulfilling my role as mother of this child.

The pregnancy was easy, her birth was easy, serene.

She was right on time at 39 weeks. She was born on her daddys birthday, so tiny, perfectly healthy.

FFWD: 2018

She is so sweet so funny so smart

She has my love a place in my heart

Our relationship is so intense so sweet

She telephones me at least once per week

(I know that doesn't perfectly rhyme)

Her life perspective rarely matches with me

We simply have to agree to kindly disagree
(Having a "safety word" helps a lot!)

All in all I see this student of engineering

As wonderful, kind, as most often endearing.

My darling youngest daughter ( she's the youngest of 4 sweet babies) makes so much deliberate effort in all that she does.

Later on, in 2018, she will graduate from BYU with a degree in Mechanical Engineering! WOW!!!!!

The life with her wonderful husband, which she chooses to pursue,

will most likely be one that fulfills her, will positively impact the world.

Keep in mind,  she's 5' nothing.

Dynamite is in small, compact packages.

In The Moment

Hello.

My name is Brenda.

I used to be stuck in the past until breaking free.

Some one, actually a few someone's, cared enough to point out that I was too stuck in the past to enjoy the here and NOW!

Thank you!

Although it hurt my widdo feelings at the time, I had to admit this was accurate.

Truth has it's own special sting.😼

There ARE choices. 

Choice #1 Ignore, deny, deny, deny.

Choice #2 Acknowledge while stubbornly resisting

Choice #3 Truly listen, sift chaff from grain, taking in the useful points of the information, lovingly given, carefully received.

In a world of constant change, everything has more of a shelf life.

Relationships, food, homes lived in, etcetera.

Friendships are often short lived.

Situations are often short lived. This is something deeply personal.

This lesson of life has hit home with ~ *moi*

At first, it was a struggle. It was stretching, growing, becoming more wise, becoming more of a change embracer.

This thought process caused me to believe in the importance of living in the moment.

A lover

A friendship

A place to live

A car

A pet

A locale

A way of doing a multitude of activities.

The weather

Enough!

These may last a day, a week or a lifetime.

Through this journey called life, it has become personally, more important to internalize that most is temporary. It's become essential to allow myself to roll with all changes.

When a person decides ( yup, ha ha it's a choice) to change with the times, they are lulled along with remaining modern, with every breath.

Stay current or be left behind.

After a long explain, this is what has been a mantra of sorts for me.

Living in the moment.

Enjoying the  present moment in all it's glory!

Perpetually moving forward.

The person I was yesterday is different from who I am, today.

Those who support this, remain. Most of those who do not, they last less longer, eventually fizzle away.

Going cliche', now.

Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is unknown, today is a gift, this is why it's called the present.

A Flower is Born

Many people love to grow & keep orchids, which are notoriously difficult to keep alive. Violas are easier along with tulips, hyacinths, the trendy "bamboo" plants seen everywhere. FYI ~ Peeps, those are no more bamboo than I am a pop star!
The plants cleverly marketed as "lucky bamboo" are actually part of the family that corn belongs to. It's working!

Generally, I will only grow anything if I can eat it or if it has flowers with intoxicating scent.

It's still a mystery as to whom sent the 2 gardenia plants, yet, if they don't know me very well, it was a dang lucky guess!

Gardenias are my favorite plant. They can be a bit difficult to even keep alive as an indoor plant much less have it bloom.

Years ago, I had a gardenia plant I kept alive & flowering for 11 years. I did my research, asked a lot of questions. Intel is power!

Are you impressed?

Nah.

Well.

Okay.

The 2 gardenia plants delivered to me on Valentines Day were quite sickly when delivered. Very few leaves, their buds had dropped off. It was such a bittersweet occasion.

Two beautiful gardenias, equally sick in a sad way.

Through diligence, patience, intel gathering, I'm happy to announce that one out of the 5 gardenia plants (I rescued 3 from Walmart!) has bloomed.

Creamy white waxy petals which spiral out from the center.

The best part?

The scent of a freshly bloomed gardenia flower is the closest to being high without actually being high.

Gardenias are legal in every state!

The day before was a tight green bud with promise

Yesterday was green with small stripes of white

I knew that flower bloom was upon us

Opening slowly throughout the warm night

Waking later than planned to the lovely scent

The creamy whiteness a sight to see

The gift for being so caringly diligent

Gardenias reward as her gift to me.

*******************************************

I Tried So Hard

Bear with me, expressing myself through writing & poetry is very healing, very release filled. It chases away many ills. Yes, I am paid to write my blog, that's something that happened as a pleasant surprise to me. Writing gives me great release, great pleasure.
Writegasms. 😇

She was just a little girl

Shy skinny and green eyed

From the age of 10

She thought of suicide

She became a military girl

Reformed by military training

Verbally abused by so many

In her heart it was always raining

Fascination with one superman

Made an impact on her soul

He was strong he was a mystery

He was oblivious to his role

Then, he left as mysteriously as he had appeared

She was searching for meaning

When he entered her life

To make her his own

To make her his wife

So many changes in such a short time

Soon cooking along with cleaning a house

Replaced bikinis, clubbing, perfume

With spit up on her blouse

When marriage ended it was devastating

Completely alone for the first time in life

It was scary it was painful it was hard

The sort of searing pain from a sharp knife

Cut off from family most friends turned their backs

Let me know who was false who was true

Only Janice remained

That's why I love you!

She moved 14 times just trying to survive

Did without friends without food without love

Found strength to keep going

When abandoned even by God above

I tried so hard

Held on so long

One lesson learned

It helps to become strong

*********************************************

The journey has been long, hills & valleys, m'loves. It has been my journey. A journey of pain & joy, heartbreak & heart healing. In all of it, hopefully, I have learned that which I was sent to Earth to learn.

If you can be anything at all ~

Be kind.

What "does it" for you?

Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Am very sure of this.

What is it that gives you a smile?

What gives you a case of the warmies?

Trips your trigger

Floats your canoe

Tips your sippy

Makes your heart do a happy jump

Get it? Got it! Good.  😙

This might have been a poem or soliloquy about Coldplay. Whilst thinking about it,  it turned into a regular blog post.

Well, maybe a pinch of Coldplay!

The music touches me deep, it makes me feel warm & happy whilst listening to it. Singing along gives me sweet chills of pleasure.

(Stay clean! That's how it was meant! Clean.)

The words with the melodies, even the melodies on their own are quite lovely.

Chris Martins vocals are true, imperfect in their perfection. He will stop a performance when he's hit a snafu, to apologize to his audience. He likes the "F" word! Yup. Ha ha! It's all good! 

Pinch time ~ over. (For now)

Do you eat because you are ~

Bored

Tired

Sad

Happy

Obligated

Or

Do you eat because you're genuinely hungry?

Having found the key to reducing weight, slowly, I'm changing my attitude toward food.

Eating, mostly because I HAVE to eat from hunger.

Still, I do love my food. ☹️

A thick, juicy beef filet, tyvm.

Yes, please.

Trying my best to stay away from random eating. A work in progress, for sure. Slow & steady wins the tournament. Whereas giving myself non-food rewards has replaced sweets & treats, I still like them, yet have to turn toward fitness rewards in their place. New TRX Bands, a hula hoop, a walk around the lake, 1 hour on the tread or elliptical machine. It does double duty!

Sewing was a #1 for me for a long time. Designing & constructing clothing, detailed embroidery ~ cross stitch, specifically. Very intricate, detailed cross stitch. Stitching on fine linen with 32 squares per inch. Yeah. It really fascinated me.

Vocals ~ The sound of a persons voice often way-lays concentrating on their words. As a polyglot, the sound of other languages being spoken delights my ears! Eargasms ~ ha ha! Equally delightful are vocal accents from other parts of the USA as well as that from other countries. Love it!

Those are my top 4, I'll leave it to youse readers to come

up with #5.

Have a beautiful spring day!!

Damaged for salmon

Hello, my name is Brenda & I'm a bit of an addict.

Maybe simply OCD, just a little!

The flik ~ The Shape of Water caught my attention. I picked it up at WallyWorld without knowing much about it. The cover of the DVD was magical, sweet, mysterious, even romantic!

It was in my paws not claws for a week before I did the unwrapping.

It was slow to go at first.

Then.

Yeah.

The magic began to flow!

The main female character was vulnerable while still strong.

She was def intriguing!

The first time the aquatic man rose up from the water in full glory in strength, in confidence ~ HALLELUJAH!

(okay, so, I love guys, gimme a break!)

It was a moment.

In confession time ~ I watched this flik thrice before our trip to Germantown, Maryland, on the AC there, then, on the way back!

Gawd, a full dose of aqua man aye did, guv'na!

It was so easy to believe in him as a Prince O' The Sea. A romantic. The elusive "good guy" I have never found. they are either married or were unavailable to me or both. There are plenty of good guys out there, 

There were differences, there were complications to work around.

It was tits on toast bae! They made it work!

He (yes, HE) displayed confidence, he went to her ~ against the odds, he loved her, he claimed her as his woman to love & care for. Ceremony? Maybe. IDK.

Very few guys in todays world will commit to that,

Then,

HONOR IT.

He may have been a "get it on" with other cute fish.

IDK

It was a sweet story to be touched by, to believe in, to feel the sweetness of the romance on the level that comes into my soul.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTnKNkdz-UA

There IS a downside.

As one who loves fish, salmon with skin on (the majority of health benefit is in the oil in the salmon skin)......

Peeps, I loves me some salmon!

After so much exposure to a hot fish-man? N'ant ah. Can't do it!

I tried to eat some salmon with skin on. TUIMM!

The Shape of Water has put me off eating fish. Of. Any. Type.

In life it's become clear that very little is forever.

Someday (hopefully soon) I may be able to eat salmon again.

For now?

Pass the beef, turkey or chicken, PLEASE!

G'day Blokes & Birds.

It has come to my attention that my blog is now being noticed in Australia.
This tells me they've had a Captain Cook, then, given me fair suck. At times I may seem to be a few sandwiches short of a picnic, mostly, I'm full quid!
Most of my blog is simply my own opinion as well as experiences, yet, sometimes it's a bit of the John Dory of the yanks here in USA!

For my awesome Aussie readers ~ I would love to visit your country!

From my up on top perspective, my experience with Australia has been limited to Thunda' from Down Unda'. Am sure, having seen them, I'm sure the blokes are fair dinkum hotties!

There are drawbacks to living anywhere.

Still, as a single Sheila, it's made its way to my ears that Australian guys, mostly, are insanely hot!

My personal theory is that many "bad boys" or male criminals, psychopaths, etc. tend to be very easy on the eyes. Very charismatic, confident, appealing to other people who fall for it! For a long time, criminals were shipped off to Australia from England to get rid of them. They were sent off to put distance between them & England.

(There were many gorgeous ladies shipped to Australia as well!)

This must have infused the Aussie gene pool with some hot-hot genetics.

What do you think?

Whatever the reason is, Aussies seem to be a very good looking people! If they are border-line hot, to many people, their accent is enough to make ya get the warmies.....all over! Um, yeah! 😍

Ta to my readers in Australia.

Toodle-oo.