How real is reality?

As real as a blade of grass?

As real as the dream or nightmare you had last night?

As real as the newborn baby you hold in your arms?

As real as the shirt you're wearing brushing against your skin?

As real as the photo-shopped Beyoncé photos?

As real as a kiss from the one you love?

As real as the promises of a campaigning politician?

As real as the words of a lover or potential lover?

As real as your heart pounding in your chest?

Are you still with me?
OH! There you are, we're good!
In todays world there are so many opportunities to be fake. Also, so many opportunities to be oh so vulnerably your true self.
Warts, lumps, shortcomings and all.
Being your authentic self comes with risks. It makes a person vulnerable. It opens us up to scrutiny, self scrutiny as well. UGH!

It's tough to face yourself, yet, it makes a person more real when they choose to be real. To resist temptation to hide behind online chat, online messaging, excessive social media, Skype, even texting.
Many people engage in phone conversations with another person they have never met in real life nor have the intent to do so.

It seems to take some personal power, personal integrity away from those who hide behind technology. They think they are gaining an edge by hiding while giving the other person just enough to keep them coming back for more. So very sad that one person could use others for their own gratification while giving so little.

In truth? Both people lose their authentic selves in the insidious lie that they present to each other. People should be good to each other.
People used to love other people and use things. A sad fact of todays world is that most people use other people while they love things.

Don't believe me?

Take a look at an Apple Store just releasing a new iPhone. People are pushing, shoving, sometimes even fighting just to get a phone.

You don't have to look that far, either.

Take a look at a group of people at a restaurant or even just sitting together. Most are using their phones. The people who matter are sitting right there, yet, they ignore each other to pay attention to their phones instead of those right there with them.

I'm a single girl.

Often, guys, online will send photos to me without my request, I don't ask them to. I won't send a photo of myself to someone I don't know and most likely won't meet in person. It's pointless to me.

Whether the guy is on a ski slope, a tropical beach, with friends or just chilling with his pet. 19 times out of 20, he has his phone in his hand. He doesn't even put it down to have the photo taken.
Will reserve judgment, however, this tells me that he is overly attached to his technology & is caught up in the pervasive attitude of loving things, while using people.
Forget looking for the telltale tan line from a wedding ring. Even if he SAYS he's single, separated or "misunderstood" a married guy will not set his phone down for a second if he is a constant cheater on his wife & kids.
One member of his harem might sext, call or a potential might send a naked photo. Then, he'd be busted. Can't let that happen!

Being real, being your authentic self means you not only care enough about yourself to keep your integrity & peace of mind. It also means that you truly care about others enough to be honest, to be truthful.

Truthful = Facts, todays date, your physical address, etc.
Honesty = Emotions, do you like the other person, do you feel sad or happy.

Being authentic is about being truthful and honest.

*So, you might be thinking, Who is this chick???*

This chick?

Very real, very honest, very truthful. Authentic.

Oh, I was not so much honest & truthful in the distant past. It's a learning process, it's a maturing process. Sometimes it takes self examination, sometimes it takes some very uncomfortable & downright painful life lessons to become your authentic best.

A few years ago, I went on a vacation with someone I didn't know extremely well, yet, I was up for an adventure. We had talked on the phone and skyped extensively. It seemed like a safe adventure!

OMG, it was anything but!

I have taken good care of myself aside from gaining a large amount of weight then losing it, I'm in very good health. Many people think I am around 35 although I am not.
This girl and I were around the same age except, she had been a cigarette smoker up until 2 years earlier and had also struggled with excessive clubbing and alcoholism up until 2 years prior to our meeting in person.
It seemed to make her feel threatened that I had no lines or wrinkles on my face, that I got up every morning to work out for a couple hours even on vacation.
She had difficulty believing that she and I were the same age.
Instead of admitting her own insecurities, she nit picked at everything I did and everything I said. Everything I did and everything I said irritated her.

In reality, it was her, venting her insecurities upon me as a scape goat. I could see this very clearly, so, I called her out on it as kindly as I knew how to do. I wanted to be kind, yet, from the abuse of my long marriage I had learned to NEVER allow anyone to abuse me again whether verbally, physically or otherwise.

She was very quiet, then, the hounds of hell came out of her mouth!

I sat for the first minute, then, I put my gym clothes on and went to the hotel gym for a workout.

When I returned, she was simply sitting, staring out the window. She had gone and bought a pack of 5 of those long thin cigarettes and was smoking the 4th one with a fervor.

I felt sorry for her at that point. The years of smoking, drinking and partying regularly, well past the age of  25 had aged her prematurely, she took her frustration out on herself instead of being real and vowing to take better care of herself.

Being real is hard. I know this from experience. Yet, the feeling of real self confidence vs faking it, is so worth it.
Being authentic with yourself as well as with others takes courage, not the liquid kind!

Be good to yourself.

Be authentic.

Be real!