What did you expect?

Today has been a day full of surprises.

A good workout this morning when I didn't think I would have the energy for it! That's always good!

The OSB singles were helping celebrate a birthday, so, we went to a steak house instead of Pizza Hut.

Surprise!

I left early. Stress & anxiety are striking at odd times. I was feeling a bit claustrophobic.

Arriving home, the stress was mounting in my home where it's all in pieces. I felt anxious, even a bit of a panic attack coming on. Elevated heart rate, deep fear, jumpy in reaction to every little noise. 

Usually, my youngest daughter and I speak on the phone every Sunday. I texted her, letting her know I had to get out, go back to the gym to relieve some anxiety. Moving may be necessary, not fun.

I rarely talk on my cell. Yes, I have a landline for that. On the way to the gym, my daughter called me on my cell. For her? I will answer, just have to be mindful of my surroundings, who is listening!

It was nice, she has a place in my heart, all hers!

My awesome Landlord needed to show the house to someone. EEEEEEEKKKKK! 

He needed to, I understand that. He's courteous.

Arriving home from the gym, the "For Rent" sign was gone from the yard, so, it's official!

I was feeling a bit MORE anxiety. Brilliant.

Texted a GF, she came over a bit later, put some of my fear to rest. She let me know she would help me get the rest of the "stuff" out of here to the other house.

Right after she left, my landline rang. I vaguely remembered the phone number on caller ID. Doing something out of the norm for me, I answered it!

The voice of the caller was vaguely familiar. A guy I had not heard from in a little over 3 years. He's a cool guy, not a friend, more like an acquaintance. 

We began talking, catching up as I packed boxes.

Then, a pause.

He told me of a girl he had just broken up with. They had met, then began dating at the time I stopped hearing from him. Such a shock. *_*

It seemed that he needed to talk. I listened.

They met, had a lot in common, had some great times together, met each others families. Families liked them and liked each other. Things were great. She was great. Beautiful, smart, funny, educated, financially responsible, great career!

Everything he was, everything he wanted in a girl. Yes, everything he wanted in a future wife.

He wanted kids, eventually, so did she, not right now, yet, eventually. Sounds good.

So what was the problem?

He had been burned badly before, yet, not by her.

She had been burned badly, too, yet, not by him.

They were both in their mid 30s. At that point, in life, if you haven't been burned at least once, you are indeed fortunate, my friend!

So, what was the problem.

The problem, according to him is that he loved her, was in love with her, she was great, he simply became "scared".

I call BS on this, I don't accept this childish excuse. If a guy doesn't know if he wants to put a ring on her finger after 3 years, he needs to stop wasting her precious time 

AND

her precious eggs.

He went on and on about how she loves him, was in love with him, treated him with respect, courtesy, bla bla bla. 

He stated how much he loved so much about her.

She let him know that she wanted something more committed, more permanent.

He let her know he couldn't marry her. Not sure when, if ever.

O boy.

She didn't cry, didn't make a scene. She simply said, thank you for letting me know, stood up from the table where they had been having dinner, as if getting up from a job interview.

That was almost it.

He went for a walk after that. When he got home (they lived apart) there was a box on his door step with all of his things, every gift he had ever given her.

That was it.

He was quite upset.

I asked him, "What did you expect her to do?"

Him: I don't know, cry, scream, call me an a-hole.

Me: Do you mean, the drama guys say they hate?

Him: Yeahhhh. Maybe.

Me: Why?

Him: Because I love her, she loves me.

Me: That's a confusing way to say, "I love you."

Him I thought she would call me or text me once.

Me: WHY? You rejected her in the worst way.

Him: I didn't think she would accept it.

Me: WTH would make you think that?

She loved you, she gave you 3 years of her life. She had been badly hurt, then, your actions made her believe in love again, then, you tell her that you can't step up to the plate? 

Him: I want to buy a ring and propose to her.

Me: It better be a freaking awesome ring! A dozen of her favorite flower, chocolate, Enrique Iglesias crooning to her as you propose!

Him: I didn't think I would be single ever again.

Me: What did you expect from her, actually?

****************************************************************************

This scenario boggles my mind. Everything is really good, he loves her, she loves him, 3 years later he gets "scared". She accepts his rejection, then, dumps his stuff on his doorstep.

All of a sudden, he has overcome his fear.

I had to get stuff done, I wished him well.

This scenario plays out all over the world in different variations. 

When everything is so good, so right, 

OF COURSE she or he will want to make it permanent.

When a girl has been hurt badly a few times before, then the guy comes into her life. He tells her he is falling in love with her, that he loves her, he is triggering emotions in her that are very powerful.

I am speaking from a female pov since I'm a girl. Also speaking from experience. Ex huzz was deeply selfish, everything HAD to be about him or he would pout, freezing me out for 2 days to 2 weeks at a time, sleeping on the sofa or with one of our children. The lies, the married males messing around on their wives, the would be players who I called out immediatly. 
Too much drama.

Playing with those feelings is dangerous.

Dangerous to both people.

It heightens the ante, the ante of emotions, emotional investment. It enters a spiritual realm.

It is my wish that the guys out there who get gain from playing with the emotions of girls would be more mindful of the damage they inflict.

Every time a girls heart is broken, she is less and less willing to trust any male in any situation. Then, something magical happens that many girls wish for.

She simply refuses to give a #2 what any male says, does, promises, it no longer matters.

She was taught by having her heart broken too many times that her heart is only safe without a guy in her life to play with it, hurt it, break it.

She's sexy as hell & doesn't give a rats rear.

What did you expect?