How do you do it?

   

                                                                                                Tonight, I received a shocking bit of information. A guy told me that my lack of trust in males was obvious in my social media posts.
Hmm.
Although I won't discount an observation that was said out of love, friendship, concern it was a bit of a shock.

When a child is beaten as well as treated with cruelty by adults, they learn to be suspicious of adults. 

When a person only receives injustice from a corrupt justice system, it's understandable that they would mistrust authority figures.

It would be moot to continue.

The picture is crystal.

Nearly every male I have ever allowed to get close to me has either hurt me physically or emotionally or both. 

So, how does a girl who has experienced the level of betrayal, lies, pain, plus worse, from males, how can she trust males?

In the horror of the dating climate that is today's world where married males think it's okay to go outside of their marriage whether their wife consents or not, it's terribly painful.

With online dating sites as well as apps where guys troll for sex, record it then pass it around, even sometimes post it online, it's difficult to trust.

In the social climate where many males have no problem with a steady diet of casual sex, hook ups, using girls for their bodies, it's a dangerous minefield.

It's a very selfish, destructive way to treat fellow human beings.

For the first 5 years after my long marriage to an abusive male ended in a divorce that I wanted, even paid for (financially as well as other ways, I really believed that there would be at least ONE decent single guy who I would be able to find some connection, commonalities with.

After 5 years of the above mentioned predators trying to fool me with their methods of deception, bait & switch, charming lies, I had nearly had it.

In 2012, giving it one more chance,  I really thought I had found him. He asked, so, I told him that I felt he was worth the risk, one last time.

The one who seemed to be a knight in shining armor, turned out to be an idiot in cheap tinfoil.

The emotional pain left me crying and hurting badly, wishing to die for almost 2 years.

An intelligent person learns that if you stick your hand in fire, it only causes pain, causes harm.

Risking your heart, your vulnerability, then getting burned, over then over again. Risk. Repeat. Risk. Repeat.

A person learns that trusting those similar to the ones who only brought pain, disappointment plus much worse, repeatedly, trusting them is self inflicted damage.

I gave it 5 years before deciding it was no longer worth the risk. It was then that I turned to fitness, something that works while delivering greater health, fulfillment, success!
I can trust my workouts to make me feel good, make me feel happy, fulfilled, healthy, safe.

Having stopped dating much at all while I still feel that there are good men in the world who see girls as fellow human beings, yet, I'm still cautious around guys. Having learned that the way to keep myself safe, mind, body & spirit, is to keep my guard up, I guard my heart closely. Guarding my heart includes those overly needy, predatory girls who use others ~ male & female ~ for whatever they can get.

Guys ~ I'm aware that there are females that hurt guys without caring, however, I'm completely straight, so, I stay on one team. Can only speak from the heart of a girl who had such faith that there are more decent guys out there than there actually are.

There are truly wonderful single guys out there.

It was my misfortune to only meet players, liars, cheaters.

(Sorry! Copy & paste this link for some great advice!)
https://www.hookingupsmart.com/2010/04/30/hookinguprealities/how-to-make-sure-you-dont-fall-for-a-player/

I stopped dating while I still love guys, while I still believe there are good ones in the world.

How does someone who has been hurt so many times that they lose the ability to trust, learn to trust again?
How do you do it?

The answer eludes me.