Why is it so hard for others to understand?

Why?

The subject is mentioned frequently. Lately, it has seemed pointless to engage in the discussion. For this reason, the decision I have made is to keep my marital status off the discussion agenda. It's a position non gratis.

There was a period of time after my divorce in 2007 in which I wanted to find a wonderful man to share the rest of my life with. Maybe even get married, then help him finish raising his children or have a baby with him, or 2, if he wished.

The disappointment with the male population, erased that desire. 

Cheating married males, horn dog males who just wanted a warm wet hole with a pulse, weak & insecure males who were too flaky & indecisive. 

Then, the icing on the cake in 2012. UGH~!

Too much emotional pain, too much frustration & disappointment have killed my desire to be physically and/or emotionally touched by a male. (NOT turning to lezbetarianism either!ha ha!)

Less drama, no more pain, only peace, happiness, fulfillment through physical fitness, driving my career to bring the financial success I have worked so long to find!

Work outs bring so much satisfaction to me. Such feelings of accomplishment.

Such as, today! Working out in a strength training class, similar to the training Emily Blunt had to adhere to when getting in shape for the role as Rita Vrataski. I was just wearing a black sport bra & black yoga pants. At the end of the class, everyone holds plank for 45 seconds. I cheat a little. while they go into child's pose, I go into plank, then hold it for a full 3 minutes to the end of class. 

Have actually been doing this since October, 2014. 

It simply feels GOOD!

Today, after class ended, Lindsay, one of the girls who works out at the gym asked me if I had looked at my back in the mirror recently.

Looking in a mirror is something I try to avoid.

She told me that, having not seen me in 3 months, the difference was amazing! More muscle definition in my traps & delts, slimmer waist, etc.

So, I took a wee peek. WOW! She was right. I saw the proof of my progress! Working out hard core, every day is paying off.
Fitness is a HUGE focus in my every day life. When anyone or anything even starts to interfere with my daily workouts, that's it. They or it are history. Am THAT committed to my fitness goals.

The energy which would have been going into a dating relationship has been going into workouts. Workouts are waaaayy more rewarding, have greater, positive impact upon health, upon well being than having a male in my life has ever brought.

When female acquaintances ask me, "Don't you miss being touched? Don't you miss being held, being kissed?"

The answer is, YES! ABSOLUTELY!

However, I don't miss the d-bags who lied to me, the cheating scummy married males. Dating is no longer worth the deep, searing, devastating emotional pain that the a-holes dish out so heartlessly, then walk away like a woman's feelings are nothing more than a temporary play thing to amuse themselves with for a time.

No longer worth the risk. I would have loved to have had an amazing, wonderful man in my life, however, it didn't happen.

Have to be happy, no matter what. So, I have stopped telling others that I am very happily single by choice. Before, the gasps of, "How could you possibly be single???" were complimentary. 

Now?

It just annoys the crap-outta-me!

There are many many wonderful, good, single men out there, in the world, I know this. I have simply lost patience from dealing with "the other variety"

Whenever someone says,"OH! Someday your prince will come!"

I don't say this, yet I think, inside my head~

"Mm hmm, someday my prince will come. From his watching too much porn, it will most likely be, all over my face."

HAH!

Sometimes, when I hear that corny "Prince" crap, I think of the puppy I had for a short time, whose name was "Prince".

In my head, I'm thinking, "Yeah, I had my "Prince", he crapped all over the house, cried all night, chewed up an expensive pair of shoes, then puked on the front seat of my car on the way to drop him off to live with someone else!

Since getting over the "urge to merge" I have traveled more, gotten into my own passions, bought a few high quality BOBs, been infinitely more happy, career focused & driven. 

Doing volunteer work is so satisfying. It quenches my desire to exercise compassion & kindness toward others. 

Self respect, peaceful mind, peaceful heart, keeping order amid the sometimes chaotic world. Showing love & compassion to those in need are my basic character traits.

It feels normal, natural, stable, to be who I really am.

Git down witchyour bad thelf!