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Does it have to have a title? A heading? A sub heading. Nope. ha ha. In my BLOG, I can make the rules up as I go.

Seems to be a theme in my life.

The rules are that there are very few hard & fast rules. Those rules change continually as I grow, evolve.

Maybe the best rule is that there are no permanent rules, only temp rules which can be modified & changed as needed. The only rule that I have learned to keep as permanent is to love myself first before any others. 

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Write a promise on your heart

To be true to who you were born to be

Love deeply with kindness 

Toward who you were from the start

Love others with compassion every day

Yet know when to hold back in giving

Fill your own well with the water of joy

That your strength and peace will stay

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Yup, ha ha, I do tend to wax poetic at times. 

So, tonight, at my evening work out, a guy I was casually seeing for awhile, someone who helped me tremendously, was at the gym. GAWD. He is so hot, I can't give him what he needs, so, we parted as friends.

He goes by "Trick". He hates his given name & I cannot blame him. If I were a guy, I would hate it, too! Such a girlie name. I will never understand how any self respecting man would allow his wife to give his son such a disgustingly feminine name.

It escapes me as to how any woman could do that to a baby boy. Seems like man -hate, to me.

Anyway, his name is, UGH ~ Tristen! Sounds like Kristen, Krissy, Kristina. YUCK! Such a masculine guy, I would legally change it if it was me.

He is a really good guy. Has taught me a lot about life. For instance, when I was kinda vulnerable, he had his high school buddy, who he could trust, move in as my room-dawg. Have had male roomies before, no big deal. Actually like a porcelain salute! ha ha!

Trick is a very jealous man, he trusted his buddy implicitly.

One night,on FB, I noticed a guy who kept appearing as someone I might know. Had no clue who he was. Thought maybe he was put in my path for a reason. So, we started messaging. Seemed harmless enough. My roommate told Trick about it. He wasn't happy with it, yet, told me, don't receive pictures from him and definitely don't send any and he would be cool with it.

Well, as much as I tried to discourage him, he sent a pic anyway. Trick hit the roof! GAWD. So, he wanted to see the guys pic.UGH!!! 

DRAMA is no bueno!

Turns out, he knew the guy, hated him, actually. That, although I didn't remember him, he was responsible for fucking me up when his wife or and GFs attacked me. I didn't remember him at all, yet, knowing Tricks concern for me, I knew he only had my best interest at heart. I tried to tell Trick that there was no way I would ever meet the guy in person, that he was married, etc etc. Trick said he knew the guy was scum, that he could never keep his dick in his pants, a legend in his own mind.

So, Trick told me to test the dudes character. He told me to do something nice for the guy, then see if he even sends a message to say "Thank you" within 2 weeks. If he does, then, maybe he is a better guy than Trick thinks of him. If the dude doesn't even say "Thank you", then it shows his colors as a narcissistic creep. 

Ya know, I really wanted to believe the guy was decent, yet, he never said "Thank you", not within 2 weeks, not even within 2 months. Believing in the good in people, I wanted to believe. 

It never happened.

*heavy sigh*

Trick taught me many more life lessons. Tonight, when I saw him, again, a little bit of longing surfaced in me. Just a little. He is too jealous, too possessive for my free spirit & independent nature. Yet, still, he is a good man!

We enjoyed a workout, together, he always challenges me, in every way, I like that. Although we were both drenched in sweat, he gave me one of his wonderful, anaconda tight hugs. He wrapped his arms around me so tight then started this very subtle sway that gets me every time.! I love the T-scent of man sweat!

Appt with the V.A. rep tomorrow, possible $$$$ in reparations, coming my way. 

Go getcho money,money, money, yo money, money, money! Shawty, go handle yo biz! Ha! Ha!

I'll sleep well, tonight!