Wishing Them Well

There's a feeling of moving on in the corners of my heart. 

While moving on seems to come easily to many, it's more of a challenge for me. That memo passed me by.

Struggling to keep moving forward, embracing the new, it's a personal struggle for me. I gravitate toward whatever is new. New music, new technology, new ways of thinking & doing things. Meeting new people, going new places. 
Many people, of all ages, I noticed, try to stay slightly in the past & sometimes will invite me to go back with them.
I fight against reliving the past, have had to fight harder with time, especially when it's hard for others to "get it."

Here's the tricky part.

Letting go of the past. 
Asserting to others that I have let go.
As I struggle to let go of my attachment to people of my past, especially people I was more attached to than I should have been.
It's difficult, yet, becoming easier.

Recently, I have sat, with a photo of each of them, told them, one by one, what I loved about him, told him I was happy for him, only want him to be happy, said goodbye.
It was bittersweet for me.
It was a release, as I felt the essence of each wonderful man who had been dear to my heart.

Interestingly, my heart, now, feels more whole, like a virgin heart which has only ever been treated kindly.

It's a process, this healing!

Feeling a small amount of residual longing, feeling a shadow of their essences, which will fade completely with time.
Also, I do feel a slight bit of sadness in missing them.
A slight wistfulness.
I'm sentimental. *sigh* Some aspects of my persona remain!

Knowing that I did the right thing is a comfort.

It constantly niggles at my thought processes that as my body is changing, my mind is also changing as is my heart.
Change the mind, change the body!

Although I didn't realize that my skin & body were changing so much, when I went to the dentist who I have not seen since Feb 1, 2017, the dental assistants made such comments that it made me realize the change.
Their comments?

"Wow! What are you doing? You look fantastic!"
"Are you still juicing carrots & beets? You look more lean!"
"I didn't recognize you, Brenda, keep doing what you're doing!"
"You look like you're glowing, are you dating someone?"

Working harder at the gym than ever, applying essential oils to my skin & practicing peace in my life. Finding every little thing to be happy about.
I'm generally a positive, happy person, yet, I do deal with depression from time to time.

These wonderful guys from the past might contact me or they might not. I would welcome him as a friend if he did.

I have released them, for now or forever, wishing them every happiness in life.  
Living in the moment while feeling hopeful & excited as I move with the flow of time into the future.