Living Proof

Here it is, in blk & wht!

Having divorced a verbally abusive male in 2007, I have remained single since then.

*******It's important to take time to heal after the storms of life have kicked a person around a bit in a painful way.***********

Getting blown can be fun, wait, umm, getting whooshed around in a good way can be fun. The painful whooshing is awful. The fun whooshing is a happy-happy thaang!

People who go from one romantic relationship, to another, to another, to another with no healing time, no "down time" in between are doing themselves a big ol' dis-service.

One of the best life skills a person can have is to learn how to be alone, to be comfortable, to even be happy with their own company. 
It affords them the satiating self knowledge of who they are.

As difficult as this seems, it's important to spend alone time, no sexual interaction with others. Not online, not in person, not on the telephone, no sexting. 
Nada.
Until you feel the sense of being okay, being alone, stay to yourself.

You can do this!

By spending time getting to know yourself, who you are, what you like, your own desires, hopes, thoughts, opinions, life goals ~
you will have a stronger chance to know yourself well enough to know what is healthy. Also, what is unhealthy.

Replacing the time that was spent with a significant other, with fulfilling hobbies, activities, platonic friends is key.

Having repeated a 13 week program, having replaced the SO with exercise & lots of it! I can tell you this, now!

Also, people assume that "single" is a romantic status. 

Nope

Life status was created for legal purposes.

Single ~ Never legally married
Separated ~ Legally separated with legal separation documents filed!
Divorced ~ Legal final dissolution of marriage papers in hand.
Widowed ~ Having been legally married, the SO is permanently deceased to the point of burial or cremation

The terms in today's world due to attempts at deception have to be added such as:

Attached ~ legally married & not willing to be truthful or having a romantic committed partner or baby mama or baby daddy.

Common Law aka shacking up without the legal commitment of legal, lawful marriage.

Unattached ~ Legally unmarried, being 100% romantically/sexually uninvolved with a significant committed or uncommitted other.

Wife, husband, spouse are all LEGAL terms which have no basis in romantic attachment.

Having been legally divorced and therefore, unattached & single since 2007, it has afforded me the luxury of getting to know myself.

It helps to allow one to become their very best authentic version of themselves.
Staying single, unfettered romantically, fosters mental, emotional, spiritual, even physical health in a person whether male or female!

This may seem like something all people know & on some level, maybe, they do! 

However.........

Many people have seen the lines so distorted or have been distorting the lines for so long, themselves, or both, that they live in a world of self deception.

Myself, I am living proof that there is comfort, happiness, fulfillment in being 100% single after a long marriage for long periods of time.
There is a peace in my heart, in my mind, a surety of who I am, self identity that can only "be" when it is real. 
It has to be cultivated like a beautiful pearl in an oyster.

Peace of mind, peace of spirit & peace of heart is a comfort!

Cultivate peace within yourself.

You have this, you can do this.

Living Proof.