Heart on My Sleeve

Yes, it's true.

It seemed to start when I was a wee lass. My maternal Grandfather taught me to tell the truth from the time I was in the low single digits.
By contrast, I HAD to lie to escape beatings from my father. Then, when I was in the USAF, I was taught to lie in the course of enforcing military law. 
Was also forced to lie to protect the males who assaulted me when serving in n the USAF. The Good Ole Boy network was firmly in place.  :(
Special Forces/ Special Operations guys are taught to lie convincingly in their profession. They do it well. In their professional lives. Sadly, they lie just as expertly, just as frequently in their personal lives. It's a cancerous practice.

Where do I fit in there & why do I mention that?
I WISH I could lie as convincingly & without conscience as these guys do.
Having heard it said that people who are very trusting are that way because they, themselves are very worthy of the trust of others.

I'm that rare person who is self compelled to be honest, to be truthful.

Honesty relates to feelings & emotions.
Truth relates to facts such as today's date, relationship status etc

If someone has taken the time to get to know me, they will see exactly what's what with me in my eyes & facial expressions. They will see the pain, the happiness, the fleeting trepidation.
It's tough if not impossible to hide, for me.

As a result, I'm a bit too tender hearted for dating. Guys can be so mean. I'm a bit too sensitive to be in a crowd of people. I think this is part of PTSD/MST.
It messes up my relationships a lot, unless someone is understanding of PTSD, they won't understand. Durr.

Being an intuitive/sensitive person has it's pluses. I can discern when someone has bad intent toward me. Even online. Their charisma may sway my judgment at times. Generally, I have lived & learned.
No T-shirt.
:(

People are who they are. 

Have to be my most authentic self.

Peace out!