Say What???

From the time I was a very small child (I was really small for my age, go figure!) my Grandpa Kendall (maternal) taught me to say what I meant, mean what I say. Say what I would do, then, do what I had verbally committed to. (Whew! That was long.)

Yup! Ha ha! Another Grandpa Kendall experience!

What can I say? He was an influence for the good for me.

He would "test me" occasionally, I never knew when, it was at random times.
When I said I was going to do something, such as, clean my bedroom, help daddy weed the garden, Grandpa would say, 
"Make sure that you do it!" He said this in a loving way.
After the time of the task that I had said I was going to do had passed, upon the next visit to his home, he would sometimes ask me, sometimes not, if I had done what I said I would do.

I loved him so very much that if I had not done it, it hurt to tell him I had not done it. He never scolded me, or shamed me, he would simply wrap his arms around me and tell me to do better next time.
When I DID follow through, he and I would sometimes go out for ice cream or he would let me type on his manual type writer.

That was Grandpa Kendall's way.

His lessons mostly instilled in me to be a better person.

FFWD

When I was living in Hawai'i, with 2 small children, under the age of 4, I was friends with a very extraordinary woman. She had great skills! Too many to list, here. She was multi-talented. She also had a bit of a temper which would burst out of her without warning.

Her creative genius was worth it to me to weather her storms.

My Grandpa had passed on several years earlier. The "be more steadfast" lessons he instilled in me were still in the back of my mind. Sadly I put them into practice less than I should have.
This female friend had, as one of her strongest pet peeves ~
can you guess? 🙂
It was, people who say they will do or give something or be somewhere, then, flaking out of it. No reason, no warning, just not keeping their word without telling anyone. 

Keep in mind, I had 2 small children (yes, I know I said that). This woman had never had children, clearly didn't know how demanding on time it was. She didn't comprehend the emotional energy needed.
Still, I was fascinated with her many talents.
I marveled at how she created beauty from almost nothing.
Every rose has it's thorns. LOL!
The first time I encountered her temper, it was devastating. My younger child had an ear infection, my first-born was very active, it was necessary to clean up any messes she made or face an insect invasion.

Pick your excuses, carefully!

Although she was of a different generation than  myself or my Grandfather, she still held up the same standard.
Her ways caused me to recall my Grandfathers teaching, then, draw up that which he had instilled in my character, to cement it firmly in place. It stayed at the forefront of my consciousness, is still there, today. 
Be steadfast! 
Say what you mean, mean what you say.
Say what you will do, then DO IT! 
Unless you're lying in a hospital or a ditch somewhere, if you can't do it, let the other parties know.
Say where you will be, then, be there. If you can't be there at the appointed time which you agreed to or if you will be a little late, let the other person(s) know that you'll be a bit late.

Long explain, lol, excellent practice.

Having kept in touch with this wonderfully gifted woman for many years, over time, her temper tantrums became too much for me. Over time, I let the contact lapse until we lost contact completely.

The life lessons?
Taught to me as a child, resurrected in me as an adult. From that friendship that lasted a very long time, the good that I take from it is to be steadfast.

There is a slight down side to this lesson.

When other people act as flakes, wishy - washy which is now referred to as "ghosting" it irks me. When done repeatedly or sometimes only once if the connection with them is weak, I lose interest in any contact with them.

Here's a hypothetical supposition:

If all people who are just plain flaky were ignored by those they ghosted on, when the flake wants to resume contact, would there be more reluctance to ghost on others?
If the bar were set higher in courtesy, would there be more follow through in others?
Same concept, different ways of stating it!
There are so many ways to communicate with all of the great technology in the world, today, there's a double edged sword!

If one person does a no-show or doesn't honor their commitment, it will, very often, show up, online. Mm Hm.

With alllllllllllll of that said........

My Grandfather's teaching, plus a female friend's reinforcement is with me, today. Not only is it with me, I can see it in my children, the youngest one more strongly than the others.
These teachings may even echo through generations yet to be.

Thank you, Grandpa Kendall, thank you to the reinforcing female friend.

Both people are absent from my life, the lesson lives on.