Daddy's Girl - Photos, too!

Poetry free day, peepsies! 

*awwwwww*

I know, riiight?

My father was Native American along with a bit of English ancestry, according to my mothers genealogy research. Honestly, I doubt the English ancestry.

In my DNA analysis, the results said my DNA is 52% NA.

He appeared to be more Native American than anything. His physical characteristics, his mannerisms, his vices. He had a 3rd grade education, didn't learn to read until he was well past 50. 

Daddy also could get any plant to grow better than anyone I have ever seen. His vegetable garden was huge & it fed our family of 6 children very well. He also planted a raspberry patch as well as 2 rows of strawberries that stretched for, I would guestimate, a full acre.

My mother loved strawberries & raspberries. He also planted a cherry tree because my mother loved to make cherry pies. Daddy loved to eat cherry pie! 

Daddy was a rather harsh man of very few words, yet, his words were often more harsh than anything. He smoked a lot, was an alcoholic for most of his life.

He used his leather belt liberally as a form of communication. I had exactly *ONE* conversation with him that went well, the rest ended in a beating that left welts & bruises.

There is a STARK difference between a spanking vs a beating.

People who I have told these things to, marvel that I turned out sane & mentally tough after a childhood such as this.

Entering into military service, the assaults & sexual harassment were such an undoing of that mental toughness, I, myself, sometimes wonder how I have kept my sanity. Turning to fitness, healthy life practices, expressing love and kindness at every opportunity.

Being better instead of bitter is healthier.

For whatever reasons he had, when my daddy passed on in 2002, he cut me out of receiving anything of the money he had left which was quite substantial. It was only the graciousness of my 4 remaining siblings (1 sister was deceased in 2000) to split the money equally between 5 of us, that I received anything.

Ex huzz proved that he is a deceiver and a liar once again. I gave him half of the money from my fathers estate on his vow that he would split the money from his parents estate when they passed on. He never honored that promise.

No shock. He is a liar and practices deceitful financial practices. Partly his Filipino culture, partly his bad character.

So, I poured the money I received into the house he and I bought. He walked away from that house, after getting his share, breaking his promise, leaving me with nothing. 

No shock!

My maternal Grandfather told me that a person who is untruthful about money is also dishonest about everything. Wise words, Grandpa. 

When my father passed on, approximately 7 years after my mother, my eldest brother wanted me there, he paid for my round trip air fare from Colorado to Michigan & back. After the viewing & funeral service, for daddy, we all went back to the family home. 

My brother, who has a heart of gold, had all of us go through the house, take whatever items we wanted, as he was donating the rest to charity, the charity organization was going to come in & clear everything out within the next few days.

It was the place where we had lived as a family from the time I was 4 years of age until I left, at 18, to serve my country. Mom, Dad, my 2 sisters, 3 brothers.......and me.

I went into the room that had been my parents bedroom. What I saw shocked me. There on the nightstand that had been at my daddy's bedside, was a gold pocket watch I had given him, as a gift, when I went back to Michigan from my first duty station in Hawai'i. Propped up behind the pocket watch was a photo, free standing, no frame. My brother told me that it was his favorite photo of me.

It made me wonder, did he lay in bed and curse at me, looking at the photo? Did it torment him in the torment of a father missing his daughter? Did he simply, just, like the photo!!

I will never know.

From the house where I had lived my childhood, I took the pocket watch and his favorite photo of me.