It's My Life, My Life experiences

In Amerikanische or commonly called English in the USA, my life is one of the very few things that are truly my own.
My experiences are mine, only shared with others if I wish to share.

It takes a huge amount of trust for me to share anything at all with others. I'm careful because life & the people I have encountered while living, have taught me to be discerning as to who I let in as well as who I choose to turn away from letting in.

A child is usually taught about boundaries by parents, I missed that memo. It seems that my parents never got it, either.

Bravely going out into the world, having learned a bit about boundaries, those boundaries were brutally breached over and over while serving my country.

This is a thumbnail sketch of learning or the lack of learning boundaries in my own personal experience.

Something else I have learned is that most people will disregard the boundaries of another person when the person allows it. They will trample physical boundaries, sexual boundaries as well as emotional, even spiritual boundaries if that is their goal.

Whatever you allow is what will continue.

Conversely
Whatever you stand up against will diminish or cease.

When I divorced an abusive male, my children didn't understand and truthfully, I didn't expect them to, not then, not now, not ever.

The truth is, it was my marriage, my sanity, my decision.

I wasn't divorcing my children, I never did. I loved them then, I love them still, always have, always will.

It was something that belonged to me, not to them. 

What belonged to them and still does, is that sweet spot in my heart. The beautiful love that I feel every time I look at one of them or even think about them. That belongs to each of them.

When a family is together, it is still together even when there is a divorce, even when there is a death, an argument, a marriage, a re-marriage.
The family is still together, it has simply changed shape. The DNA that passes to children stays intact, doesn't it? 
The undeniable truth of the eye color, hair color, the sound of a persons voice or the shape of their head, their nose their ears, stays the same. The musical talent, the developed intellect of parents and their children, stays the same, unaffected by divorce or death.
The DNA continues in the same form in each family member. Linked by love as we are linked by DNA stays the same.
Family ties remain though they might be in a different form.

Each person has their own thoughts, their own bodies, their own version of themselves that is theirs. As offspring have their own life experiences, that belong to them, mostly, not to their parents.

Eventually, hopefully while parents are living, the offspring will come to realize that, their parents have the same possession of their own thoughts feelings, ideas & beliefs just as every individual person has the right to have.
Long sentence!
In this vein, I hope my children will come to the realization that I, as their mother, have the right to feel as I do about the marriage I dissolved because it is my right as an individual, whether they like it or not. Whether they agree with it or not. 
It wasn't their marriage.
They got a voice yet, not a vote.
Just as, when each of them chose to marry, I could say what I wished, yet, ultimately, it was not my decision to make.
It was theirs.
I never even met 2 of my children's spouses before they married and in one case, not at all. No boo-hoos here. 
Life is like that sometimes.
It's not the way I would have wanted it, yet, it's what they chose.
Did it hurt?
Hell, yes, it hurt very deeply. I cried for days on 3 occasions.
Tears of deep, soul shredding anguish. When a person feels deep the caveat is that the pain will often go as deep as the love.

Every person has the human right to feel as they do, no one has the right to tell someone else how to experience life for themselves.

Oh, they can try.

Many WILL try!

ZZZZZZZZZT!

A waste of precious time.

You might as well try to tell the rain that it should not fall from the sky or tell the sun to shine only on a certain day or where to shine.

Peoples hearts, minds and souls are complicated. 

Hearts are wild things, that's why ribs are called cages!

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