The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same

As a fan of changing it up to keep life fresh & interesting, I realize that I may be repeating past mistakes. Sometimes my own, sometimes a variation of someone else.

Gimme a break.

I'm human. 

I saw my mother gain weight with every up, down, pregnancy, miscarriage as well as my fathers alcoholic "episodes".

Although the ex huzz wasn't an alcoholic, his deep insecurity & pronounced control issues definitely put me on the obesity roller-coaster.

I kick myself, sometimes, for having fallen into a variation of what my mother dealt with. The difference I made was to leave the abusive huzz, divorce his controlling azz, get healthy.

Then, lose the weight!

With every workout, I see the changes in my body, I see my abs grow more flat. I feel the way my clothes fit me differently. Even my hair is growing faster with the use of Biosil.

Expending the time, energy & effort to turn back into who I really am.

I'm still SKYCHIC!
(Honorary call-sign given by USAF Pilot buddies)

Many people ask me how I can possibly be single as well as remain single. 
If they saw what I had to deal with, they would see why.

Being single offers me the freedom to do as I wish, go where I desire to go, whenever I wish, with whomever I choose.
Of course, some girls have that freedom within their marriage or within their primary relationship. 
They are, indeed very fortunate without realizing.

I suppose you could say that I "one upped" my mom by getting away from my abuser while still young. My mother stayed for 30 years before finally dying from cancer at a young age.

I feel fortunate in that I have learned many life lessons relatively early on from what I have seen of others. I'm not better nor worse, simply different. 
Maybe a bit more self aware. Maybe just a bit more aware.

Case in point.

One positive aspect my father instilled in me was to love plants. To love the soil the plants grow in, the plants themselves that produce food, branching off into plants that simply bring beauty into our lives. He gave me a love for growing things. Possibly, it's an aspect of my Native American heritage. Daddy was almost 100% Native American. My DNA analysis revealed that I am 55% Native American. Woot!

The most exciting thing in this tiny town I live in is a 24 hour Walmart. 
Kinda sad, yet, kinda quaint & sweet at the same time.
My practice, since moving to this town in 2013 has been to enter Walmart through the Lawn & Garden entrance. It feels better to me to go in a lesser used entrance, veering away from following a crowd.

For 5 years, this has been my practice.

I made the mistake of telling someone I wanted to get to know them a bit better. This person seemed to need a friend.
As is the danger of being forthright, this person took it all the wrong way. Caveat: Tread carefully when reaching out.
This person works in the lawn & garden section of the store.
So that I don't cause the person to feel uncomfortable at work, I have stopped entering the store through lawn & garden.

A small aberration, a big show of courtesy. It's how I roll.

I recall this happening a few years ago, when I had my catering service, yet, the roles were reversed. 
I had catered 3 parties for the same family & a guy who was part of the family was at all three. He was 20 years younger than me, he was an extra friendly sort, so, I thought nothing of his touchy-feely greetings. 
At the last of the 3 parties, he was a bit more friendly than usual. I was in professional mode! I turned him away, not knowing his intent.
Karma? Maybe!

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

The words to an old song play through my head.

Everybody plays the fool sometime
There's no exception to the rule
It may be factual it may be cruel
Everybody plays the fool