Minor Miracle

Minor miracles, tender mercies, surprising events, whatever you would like to call it. 
I'm simply grateful for these events in my life which happen from time to time, surprising, delightful events.

The ex huzz was very verbally & emotionally abusive throughout most of our long marriage. 
Having never been one to zone out in front of the idiot box commonly known as a television or TV, he was, I wasn't. This created a bit of conflict between us. 
In particular, he would not only try to suck our children into sitting there with him for HOURS. Sports, movies, sitcoms. He was malcontent to sit there by himself, he wanted the whole family to be there, with him. 
With my belief that children should be physically active, I would encourage them to be outside riding bicycles, swimming, hiking, going on a walk, exploring.
This irked him so much, he would target his verbal displeasure at me. Berating me for any little thing he could drum up in his mind. Any flaw he perceived, in me, whether real or imagined, he would direct his insults at me.
Is it any wonder that I began withdrawing from him?

This is the classic tale of the crumbling of a marriage where one spouse abuses the other, killing the love that once drew them together. Forcing the victim to withdraw from the perpetrator.

FFWD ~ 2013

The divorce was in 2007. Having moved to another state, no family except a deranged cousin (better to sever an unhealthy alliance) as well as no friends close enough to spend holidays with. Only a deeply jealous guy who was deployed around the holidays, so, basically, alone for the holidays.

I decided to go to Las Vegas, to spend time with some friends who I have known for most of my life. Familiarity, friendship, closeness, in a fun city to be around the holidays, sounds good, right?
It was, at first.

I arrived to be picked up at McCarran IAP, excited to be with people I knew well and loved as well as beloved by them. They had a house with a spare room, bathroom, 2 adorable dogs, a couple cats. Nice, family environment. It was also very close to Nellis AFB, so, I could work out every day, as is my habit, at the NAFB Fitness Center. Also, I could shop in the NAFB BX, commisary, go to the USAF Thunderbird Museum Shop while my hosts were busy during the day.
She was an AD Major USAF, he was busy, managing a remodeling project as well as various other business activities as a USAF Retired MSGT. As a bonus, they had an extra car I could use.
Cool.
I enjoyed cooking breakfast for him, he enjoyed taking me out for island style eats at some of the restaurants, he was very generous. Part of what I like about him, he is a very generous person, generous with his time, his viewpoints, his business knowledge & has a great sense of humor!
She is basically the same, with a bonus, we share the same birthday! The same family backgrounds, love them both!

The problem with loving someone is that it makes me vulnerable to hurts, slights, sharing confidences.

I admit, I am a sensitive girl.

Rut roh!

Things went quite well for awhile. They needed to go to Arizona for a few days, so, I stayed behind, keeping watch over their dogs & cats.
In particular? Buddy.

Buddy was a 19 year old cat, missing most of his teeth. The veterinarian had prescribed a very pricey food for him.  Buddy would lick the gravy off of it, couldn't eat it. He would cry constantly. He was in very good health, he was just skinny from not being able to eat.
I love animals!
Animals love me, always, all animals. Dogs, cats, horses, rabbits, squirrels, animals always love me wherever I go. Maybe they sense that I love them, too. 
We, humans, often love others because they love us first.
I thought about what I could do for Buddy. I wanted to help him.
Going to the dollar store after my daily workout, I saw that there was some chicken baby food, finely strained, 4 / $1.00.
I picked up 4, paid, then went back to my friends home to test my theory.
Buddy ate 1 entire 6 oz jar, then, looked for more! He ate all 3 jars, at first, then, the next morning, he cried for more. I gave him the 1 jar I had left, then, left for the gym. I stopped off at the dollar store, bought all 20 jars, they had, left. It was only $5. bucks to give the cat some comfort.
I was so happy when I told my hosts, what I had done. They noticed that Buddy, who had not purred in a few years, was actually purring, a definite sign of contentment! He, also, had stopped the crying that had been somewhat annoying to my hosts, though, they both loved this cat!

Thanksgiving at her daughters house was so much fun! 

Of course there was lots of new people to meet, her daughter is a Las Vegas Hostess at the hottest club in Vegas, so, yeah, the perfect hostess did an incredible Thanksgiving celebration!

Things were going well, I thought.

My hosts left for Arizona, came back & then..........things went a bit south. I worked out with her, at the Fitness Center on NAFB, attended a fitness class which she conducted to help some of the AD USAF people to pass their fitness tests. 
I can still pass a USAF Fitness test, no problem. 
He was very sullen, when they got back, I didn't know what the problem was,so, I tried to stay out of his way. He became so snarky, bitching about everything. I didn't know what to do, so, I just stayed quiet.
I wanted to cook breakfast for him, he told me he didn't want whatever I cooked, so, I left for the gym.
I had no idea what had set him off, he was acting in the same manner as the ex huzz, it was triggering the same fear, the same resentment from the same type of fault-finding.

His wife told him he needed to cool it, to lay off the snappiness toward me, it only made matters, worse!

2 days to go before my flight back. Only had to stay out of his way for 2 more days and then, I could feel safe, again. I had never, in the long history of our friendship, seen him act like this. All I could do is lay low, spend time feeding Buddy, work out with her.

Finally, the day came, to leave. He was taking me to the airport. Would I survive? 
That's a semi joke. 
My guy friend is a muscular guy, looks downright scary when he is angry or in a bad mood. I had never seen him like this.
He wanted to take me out for lunch, I declined, just wanted to get to the airport, get on the plane & go home.

It started as soon as I was out of his car, at the airport.

Tears of relief? Maybe.
Tears of emotional pain at the end of a long friendship? Yes
I loved him & his wife as friends.
I cried on the flight back to Texas, all the way. Not wracking sobs, just a deep sadness, a steady stream of tears, rolling down my face.

Getting home, I was all cried out. I went in, leaving my luggage in the car, laid on my bed, fell asleep still in my coat & clothes.

FFWD: 1/17/2017

I had been in contact with her on social media. She & he love my youngest daughter, who is close to getting married. Although I wasn't close to them, any longer, I know my daughter loves them and they love her. She would want them at her wedding reception.
I let her know that my daughter was getting married.
She and I exchanged messages. It seemed so impersonal, so, I gave her my cell number & physical address, told her to call, any time.

On 1/17, she did.

I could tell we were on speaker phone and that she was in a car. They are married, a package deal! I knew he was probably hearing our conversation and I was just fine with that.

Holding a grudge is useless, to me. A self destructive practice. 
I prefer forgiveness of others, forgiveness of self.

As our conversation progressed, she told me, as I already suspected, that he was listening and would like to speak to me. 
Of course I would talk to him!
I had missed both of them being in my life, had missed his and my long conversations!
Had wished for this day to happen, it was here!

Most people are very selfish, will do wrong yet not admit to it.

Mostly, apologies are non-existent in today's world.

I was crying tears of relief, happiness, heart felt joy as my lost friend, apologized to me for his actions.
He was humbling himself, he was the friend I loved and had missed, once again. Back in my life.
I love him, love his wife, like family, more than blood family.

I was so impressed by him, at that moment, so grateful to her, for contacting me by phone. I felt the warmth of her sincerity, felt the familiar warmth of the friendship which I had felt so sad at ending.

He wanted to give me a monetary gift, to help me, to make my life a bit easier. There he was. My generous, giving, kind ~  hearted friend. His wife, had me text the info to her. Within 10 minutes of our conversation, they sent $200. to me. I was so touched!!!!!!

Words, then actions to back up the words.

Our friendship, restored, we will most likely see each other, soon.

A minor miracle for which I am so grateful for.

These things happen less seldom, yet, they do happen.

I'm grateful for my friends, for his kindness, to be able to be friends with both of them, again. Him, his wife, their friendship.

Pure love.