Confession

               As hard as it was to admit at the time, I know I was in love with you, I know I loved you then, I know I will always love you. I know you loved me. You spoke the words, you backed them up with actions. Will always remember fondly, kindly, wistfully, it makes me happy to feel these all too strong associations with a time in my life that was still quite innocent. Still had a trusting heart, perhaps a bit too trusting, yet, it was, it is no more. This is a comfort.

In the early morning light, I'm stirring in my warm satin sheets, still feeling the sweetness of a beautiful dream of me, of you. You don't know this, you won't read this, so, this is a safe place to let it out.

Before you, I felt unattractive, unwanted, a bit hopeless, lost. When you entered my life, I felt more alive than I had felt in many years.
The feelings of hope, of love, of a warm deep sensuality that I had believed was no longer alive in me, had died long ago.
It took a long time, yet, you were patient until you had won my trust as I had won yours. I say "won" because it is, indeed a prize.
Trust not easily given, yet, we had both given ours to each other.

The sheets in my bed had your scent, I almost couldn't bear to wash them. Wash them, I did, knowing you were going to be back soon. The sheets & pillow cases are easily washed. The hair from your head, left behind, I carefully collected, it was all I had to hold onto.
Hearts are a bit more of a challenge to cleanse.
There is still a place in my heart where you live. Always will live.

Love is like that when it's real love.

I know where you are, I refuse to be a chaser. I refuse to be a stalker, it's not in my personality to be like that. If you came back into my life, which may happen, I would have to fight to hold my composure. I would have to fight to keep my hands to myself and to keep my self respect or maybe turn to teasing and playing with your mind. You like that. I like it that you like it. :)

Life goes forward as it always does. You're in your own world.

Lucid dreaming is a wonderful thing. So, I'll see you later tonight.

You're so hot, can't wait!

Stay tuned. :)