So much love, So much pain

Can a person have one without the other? It seems they coexist in a rather sick, twisted symbiotic dance of fools. 

A life without love is, indeed a bland existence, though the heart beats, the other organs function as if only patiently existing until death eventually occurs.

And pain? What is pain to one person could be experienced as pleasure to another. Ya gotcherself quite a can of worms, there!

It seems that there has to be a balance of these elements for life to be enough challenge. It should remain stimulating with enough warm fuzzy to reward rising to the duel of wits or strength or both!

Personally? I like a bit of a challenge. Take notice I didn't say I love a challenge as well as saying a mere bit, as in just a little.

My life has been far too laden with challenge, love, not so much. It's the way life has played out.

Oftentimes, I will make acquaintance with someone who has been showered with love starting with their birth then continuing on for their entire lives. Yet, they simply see it as ordinary.  Unfortunately, this sort of charmed state of being is more rare.

Looking upon these fortunate souls stirs more curiosity in me than anything. Envy, resentment as well as similar common human reactions are a waste of time, energy. Fruitless fodder.

In an attempt at personal growth for self discovery, watching this sort of person is quite fascinating to me. From a safe, respectful distance, of course. Never intruding, never in a stalkerish manner. Giving respectful obedience to laws, privacy, etcetera.

An example?

Sure!

During High School, there was a classmate who seemed to have it all & have it together. I was very shy & quiet, I began watching her. Watching her mannerisms, watching how others reacted to her.

It was so fascinating! Deciding to practice her moves at home in front of a mirror to see what they looked like on me, I varied them slightly to look more natural before I tried the moves in public. 

Mostly, it looked silly, at first.

More practice.

Better!

Variations.

Even better!

Most of it didn't stick with me permanently. The mannerism that stuck was the way she did a kinda bouncy glide when going up stairs.

The first time I did it in public where other students were around, it was a success! One of the popular girls looked back at me, smiled and told me I had a "super cute" way of going up stairs.

My claim to fame! Ha ha!

This began my fascination with people watching. A little more love, a little less pain.