Have you ever lost control?

This could apply to anyone, anything, any time, anywhere. Was it scary, in your experience? Going into a tail-spin as though driving in cold weather where the roads are icy, as careful as you are, the tires aren't gripping the road sufficiently, it's beyond your control to keep the car on the road.

Here's another scenario.

Although your relationship with your spouse started out great, one event after another, after another, then, still more. It's tough to figure out how to fix it. They are spending way too much money, they don't want sex with you, they care more about a "new" person in their life, just as they used to care about you. It's out of your control. Irretrievably broken. Nothing you do or say makes a difference.

Yet another instance is when you thought you knew what would kill the weeds in your garden. Using pesticides may kill the weeds, yet, may also kill your plants and put chemicals you don't want in it.

As much as you pull the weeds out, daily, they continue to grow back. Life takes over, then, it becomes 1 day since pulling out weeds, then it turns into 3 days, then a week, when you realize the weeds have taken over, it feels like such a monumental task, it causes one to just give up.

These are three different scenarios, yet, they exude the same feeling of hopelessness, defeat, sometimes even depression.

This was the best way I could describe for you, how it felt when I began gaining weight and it was beyond my control to stop it. There were many factors, yet, the responsibility for my own health, well being, for the care of my body, is ultimately, my own. 

It's personal responsibility AKA owning my own shizz. :)

When a person has never experienced the hopelessness of having their weight pile on beyond their control, it's hard to explain to someone who has never had it happen to them. Possibly the prior scenarios will evoke a recognition from someone who HAS had the scary experience of sliding on ice. Maybe facing a divorce (UGH!) or trying to succeed at gardening only to fail miserably enough to make them give up in despair. 

For awhile, I did give up in despair, allowed myself to become quite porky.

Double & even triple UGH!

It was very frightening, however, nothing I tried seemed to work. I was also very very busy. When I wasn't busy, I was exhausted. The "ME" time I got was at night when everyone else went to bed. I devoted that time to relieve some stress by creating beautiful hand sewn clothing for my 4 kiddos. Sometimes creating beautiful needlework pieces to adorn our home, make gifts for others or anything, really.

Anything except exercise.

I was quite sedentary. Some would see it as fat, dumb & happy! Ha ha! 

Not dumb, yet the others apply quite well. I was content, as the weight piled on. When my younger sister died from complications of obesity, it should have been a wake-up call. It wasn't.

I still enjoyed daily sex with my husband (ex-huzz, now! YAY!)

My home was clean, my kiddos were happy.

What was the problem?

The problem was that my health was suffering & would most likely fail if I continued to live a sedentary life without cleaning up my diet, beginning to exercise regularly.

So, I began. At first, it was grueling, painful, I hated it. I kept pushing myself.

As my weight dropped off, my marriage crumbled. He was a very jealous person, although he put me down for gaining weight, he, now found fault with everything else to assuage his deep insecurities.

I pushed on.

It was a slow process.

I kept pushing myself.

The divorce finalized.

I used the happiness of being free to push myself harder.

Slowly, I began changing what I was eating. Doing research, finding what worked. Changing everything up to get to my goal of getting control of my weight. Changing up my workouts when I went to a plateau.

Oh yeah!

The formerly dreaded ~ PLATEAU!

I say, formerly dreaded because, now, I actually like it when I hit a plateau. For anyone who doesn't know what a plateau is. It's when your workout becomes so easy that it no longer feels like work. It's when you don't see any more new muscle development. Sometimes, it can be as simple as not losing any weight for a long period of time such as 1 month. I don't wait a month. Just sayin'! Ha ha!

After having been back into fitness for almost 12 years, now, I can feel a plateau right around within 48 hours of it happening. When I feel it, I know I have to change everything up. Change the foods I'm eating, change my workout. Do it different. 

Recently, I started using free weights to build strength, to build muscle. The feeling of strength is so empowering!

The feeling in my body which I felt at the age of 19 has come back. tight arms, tight butt, tight legs, tight chest. My abs are not at the tightness yet, but, they will be. I will push until they are.

I haven't weighed myself since October. Stepping on the scale, today, I have lost 10 lbs. WOW! That makes me a happy happy happy girl!

In the past month I have concentrated on veggies & protein. Now, I am a very easy to please, girl. I could eat the same thing every day, wear the same clothes, every day. I would be content with that. For awhile I would use 2 - 5.5 oz cans of tuna & chop up whatever veggies happened to be in my fridge. Even some fruit if I wanted it.

PLATEAU!

So, I changed it up. 

1 big handful of baby spinach + 1 roma tomato + 1 avocado + 1/2 bell pepper + 2 chopped boiled eggs. 1 salmon fillet, pan seared.

It worked!

Bye bye plateau!

Also, on 1 November, I started juicing 1 whole lemon, peel et al! First thing in the morning, brush teeth, 16 oz water, drink the lemon, brush teeth again, out the door to the gym.

It's working!

Oh, and, in 2004, I was in a size 24 jeans, now? My size 8s are loose on me. I have European & Native American genetics. I would have to starve to be a size 0. Not going there! Being healthy, first & foremost while getting down to a healthy, comfortable weight is most important.

Hope this has inspired people out there.

I have a kind, loving heart, always happy to help others.

Have a great day!

(I know I will! :)  )