Things Are Making Sense

It's often referred to as the law of attraction or LOA in metaphysical schools of thought, however, it is also scriptural in theological schools of thought.

KJV Proverbs 23:7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.

In LOA it is stated differently with the same meaning. As in, "That which is like unto itself is drawn."

Ask and it is given.

Your actions follow your thoughts.

A persons world goes to where their mind flows.

AKA - Serendipity

A good "vibe"

So, having dug deep into my daily life practices to make the necessary changes, I realized that the way I was living was self betrayal. I was attracting the calamitous events which led up to my life flashing before my eyes in 2011.

In that earth shattering moment, I was sure I was going to die. Was sure that death was so imminent, I remember that feeling of peace coming over me. I knew that I had lived a good life, knew that I had done much good in the world.

Please understand, I was no angel, I made mistakes, did things I should not have. However, I believed, at the time that I had done more unselfish, kind, pay it forward acts than anything.

Yet, my negative thoughts were attracting the painful calamity to me. So negative that it's amazing that I survived without permanent injury. Only my memories have been erased. I got off easy!

I realize this - NOW!

Since moving to Texas, I feel that being in a small town with such a quiet life has been a time of respite to reflect, to change, to grow.

Oh, boy, have I learned, changed, grown so much! I am not the same person I was even a month ago let alone a few years ago!

Moving to this small community has been very beneficial in this journey of refining, self discovery, personal development. It has also given me time to rid myself of more possessions & concentrate on becoming more lean, stronger, more physically fit. As my body turns back into the healthy, strong, fit body I had at 19, my mind is way ahead in its' thought process, in maturation.

In earlier blog entries, I spoke of my horribly abusive childhood. Abusing a child causes a delay in their maturity. While individuals with lesser abuse mature sooner, those with a greater degree of abuse have to catch up. Some only catch up slightly. Prisons, psychiatric institutions as well as psychiatric counselors offices are filled to overflowing with those who are trying to catch up as well as those who never did.

This does not excuse my actions nor anyone else, however, it does provide some explanation. Each individual child is born with their own unique set of challenges. It's a parents job to identify those challenges and to help each individual child to magnify their own strengths while also conquering their own individual set of challenges.

Many people who did not have parents who nurtured the child enough, were too caught up in their own weaknesses and did not have their strengths magnified, cause the social problems that are so evident in today's world. As a young mother, I sought out a full year of intense counseling to help me to be a better mother.

It was time consuming, deeply painful, ultimately rewarding.

Breaking the cycle of extreme abuse that had been on both sides of my original family for many generations.

I broke the cycle.

Now, my children will speak of all the things I did wrong, yet, of the things I did right? Not so much. My kiddos also have the mind poisoning of their fathers narcissistic thinking. His attitude toward me seeps into their attitude toward me without them realizing it. 

However, the proof of good parenting, while not perfect, is in the way all 4 of my kiddos have grown into successful, happy adults.

All 4 are making good contributions to the world while refraining from the pitfalls of a life of alcoholism, drug usage, crime, extreme obesity, institutionalized mental illness. All of which plagued the members of my original family. 

When I say original family, I refer to the family I was born into, not the family I created when I married. Although, the ex huzz has some pretty messed up family members, thankfully, my kiddos inherited the benevolent traits with a little detriment mixed in.

Dammit! I had so much to conquer! Yet, I have done it.

The latest battle I have won?

While this may seem small, it's very powerful.

Self talk. For many years, I heard the negative talk from my parents and the ex huzz echoing in my brain. Twisting and turning around and around.

From my parents:

You should hike up your skirts & make some money to help the family, that's all women are good for anyway. (dad)

I never loved you, I never even wanted you. (mom)

From the ex huzz:

You're all used up after 2 babies. (this was only after 2, it became worse after our 4th baby was born)

He, later shortened it, whenever I wasn't allowing him to control me: Hmph, yep, all used up.

You're so fat!

So lazy!

So ugly!

So stupid!

It's been almost 10 years and has taken me this long to recover, to find myself, to correct ALL of the self talk that were the painful words of others.

I made it!

Secondary victory?

Conquering obesity. During the time I was married, the constant fight against ex huzz controlling me, constant catering to the unhealthy food he liked, being too drained on all levels caused me to, yes, become very overweight just as my original family is.

Now? It's under control. Through hours upon hours of research, I have found what works. Everyone has unique chemistry, unique physiology. The task is for each person to find what works for them while still enjoying life.

Sounds simple, right? If it were so simple, there would be more people enjoying strong, lean bodies infused with health. 

Discovering what works for me in theory, then, putting it into action has been a challenge, yet, I have done it!

This brings me full circle to the Law of Attraction.

With positive, motivating self talk, daily grueling workouts, multiple changes to promote physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual health. Now, I see the joy, the strength to all these aspects that I'm attracting into my life.

Happier

Stronger

Balanced

Namaste  :)