Moving forward!

Change is the spice in life, for me! Living in a very small town in Michigan where I went to school with most of the same people from K - 12, living in the same house, change was disconcerting to me at that time.

US Air Force

When I left my parents home to serve my country, change was a constant presence, almost daily, in my life. People would enter my work/social sphere to leave quickly, some stayed, most of them left as suddenly as they arrived.
Very little advance notice.
There's no Change of Command Ceremony when one commands little to nothing, even in their own lives.

Single Life

It was a fast paced tumultuous time. Sometimes marred by sexual harassment, assault. Sometimes another male would intervene to give me some shelter from the abuse. Through it all, I learned who I was, what my capabilities are, as well as my own personal weaknesses. 
Coping, as best I could, rolling with the punches, the changes.

Married Life

99% work! Had to learn to organize, re-organize. Tear a home apart then put it all together in a new location, often a new country or state. Adapt. Adjust. Try to keep my sanity. Maybe it was the selfish male I was married to, maybe we were incompatible. Maybe a bit of both. Being married was a bad experience for me. I gave birth to 4 children, add in a selfish spouse, it was like having 5. UGH!

Single Again!

It was my choice, I filed, I even paid the $385. filing fee. I would have cut my right arm off to break free if I had to. Thankfully, I only had to pay the fee to become free from an abusive male.
It was a tough yet, necessary adjustment, for sure!
It was good that I had added being flexible, versatile & mentally/emotionally strong to my repertoire of skills.  Surviving a divorce takes more fortitude than anyone can imagine.
I learned to cook for one. Learned to keep noise in my domicile at all times to quash the ring of silence in the air.
The anger & absence of my children from my life was debilitating, so, I put photos of them away to ease the pain of missing them. I still missed them, yet, they were most certainly, dealing with their own pain as best they could. The 2 youngest lived with their father who poisoned their minds with his self pity & lies about me.
Que sera sera.

Living in Texas!!!!

Moving to Texas took a great deal of courage, it was a lot of work with a modicum of help from 2 friends who stuck by me. The UHaul truck was loaded up with 1/2 of the possessions I owned. 1/2 was sold in yard sales or donated or given away. The last of which, I put a "Curb Alert" on Craigslist, filling the yard with the last of the items I decided I could do without. Thank you to all the Mexicans in Colorado Springs, CO for carting it off!
With my car dollied behind the UHaul truck, my 2 Yorkies, Jake & Jefferson on the front passenger seat beside me, enough "healthy food" to keep me out of the truck stop diners, we drove on down!
It took 10 hours with only 2 stops for the boys to run around & to fill the fuel tank.
We were on an adventure.
I was in a lot of pain at times, I did experience a bit of anxiety at times, yet, we made it!
Texas has a lower cost of living than Colorado. The people are definitely nicer. At least on the surface whereas the people of Colorado, in my experience, were colder, even snobby.

Life Since Moving to Texas

Life has been, I would say, different. It's tough to make friends in a small town where people are, mostly,  very suspicious & closed off to anyone they didn't go to High School with or are not related to.
There are enough exceptions to this rule to make life a bit more pleasant.
The owner of an antiques, odds & ends shop who is just kind hearted! She opens her heart, opens her mind to those in need. Even if it's just a friendly conversation when things are slow in her shop.

The guy who's in charge of many charitable organizations in this town. He gives of his time and the resources of which he is a steward, to Veterans as well as others in need of counsel.

Last, yet, certainly, not least, the fellow Veteran who has opened her home & offered her friendship to me! She's one of the kindest people I have met since moving here. She's also very clever & a lot of fun to be around! 


Still, I have had to adapt to many changes, since moving to Texas. I have moved out of choice or necessity, 5 times since 2012. I'm looking to move a 6th time in 2017. Being happy is paramount for me. Deciding to be happy was one of the best decisions I have ever made.
I want to be happy, therefore, I will be. 
A funny thing, the human mind. It has power beyond comprehension!

Other changes, happily is that my weight is steadily dropping! My weight is at the lowest it has been in a long long time. Muscle tone is increasing, my mind is more clear than ever. 
Since moving to Texas, in May of 2012, I have dropped 30 lbs. Oh, I still want to drop another 30, while increasing muscle tone, to be more fit than ever.
It feels good.

Maybe, it's due to living in a smaller, more quiet city, yet, the ability to focus, to concentrate has returned. This ability left me in the turmoil of divorce. It's not at the level that it once was, yet, I'm grateful to say, it's quite close & improving steadily! Whereas I could not focus enough to read even one paragraph in a book, I can, now speed read through a book in one afternoon. 
Progress!

Spirituality as well as faith in a higher power has also returned to me. This is a deeply personal struggle, which I won't provide details on, yet, it has also steadily come back to me.

Whereas, being single & alone, without a man in my life, at first, used to scare me into depression, deeply painful loneliness setting in. 
Having learned how to be single, again, has taught me that I can be just as happy with a man in my life as I can be, without one. I will always love & appreciate men & the masculine traits which are so appealing to me. 
Knowing that I have so much to give, so much that is desirable to offer, used to make me feel that it was all so wasted. It isn't wasted. It's preserved within me.
If the right man comes into my life, great, if he doesn't, I'll be fine.
Having a man in my life is less important than having happiness, peace, flashes of excitement & FUN!
I have had several opportunities to date, even marry, none of which felt right, so, I declined to move it forward. Very good decisions.
Many women seem to need a man in their lives in order to feel whole, complete, as if they are somehow, more worthy as a woman simply because another person of the male gender desires to share a life with them. If this is how they feel, I say, GO FOR IT! :)
I feel complete, worthy & whole, a man in my life would be a bonus vs being the whole raison de etre. (reason to exist or to be).

Life is quite good for me, right now. My VA saga is drawing to a conclusion, weight is dropping, concentration has returned.

Happiness is under-rated.

Are you happy, dear reader? I hope so!

Find your inspiration & happiness, it's everywhere!

Peace