Success!!!!!!!!!

Or at minimum

MINOR VICTORY!!!!!

Or, Umm

IMPROVEMENT!

There, I said it.

I Google my name & personal details, reverse image search photos of myself from time to time. From what I know about internet security, it's less secure than most people believe. From having 4 stalkers, being a tad more vigilant of what's out there is wise. For these reasons plus a few more, I don't allow people to snap photos of me, I put very few out there in public view. Have to self protect. I'm alone in the world. Am all that I have. There is no one who will help me if things go wrong. Just me.

There's also not going to be a call to 911 if someone breaks into my home, so, no one will arrive to save them from me. :)

Yeah, I get protests & complaints from people who try, I say, try, to snap a pic of me. There's the declarations of:

- This is just for me, no one else will see it
- You're so beautiful you should let people take your pic
- I promise I won't post it on the internet, FaceBook, etc.
- I just want to have a pic to remember you by
- A beautiful girl like you should let people take pics of her

So, you see, I have heard many reasons.
The answer is still - Nnnnnnnnnooooooooooooo!

Recently, I did a Google search only to find that people who swore they would not post photos of me, online, without my permission, had done it. Just because you might be reading this, you were very courteous about asking me if you could post pics of us at Wildcatter, I appreciate you!
You know who you are!
So, while Googling, I found some photos posted that I had been assured would be kept private, not posted on the internet.
Yupp.

This tells me that people are less principled than they represent.

There are 2 lessons learned from this.
#1 Don't ever let someone take your photo for any reason unless you want it plastered all over social media, they will.
#2 I was a lot more porkie than I thought I was in 2012.

Yupp.

From working to get into better physical condition, starting in 2004, I thought I had made phenomenal strides in progress by January 2012.
Welllllllllllll..........
Nope.

When I saw these photos from January 2012, I crumbled inward and cried. I also had no appetite for 3 days after that. It hurt like hell!
Going into detail isn't necessary, seems like you understand.

Seeing the photos spurred me into hitting my workouts, training harder, eating more clean than ever before. Since the unfortunate event.
People who know me, have known me since then have reassured me with -

-You had been through a lot of trauma
-You look so much better, now!
- You're trying, that's what matters.

What matters?

What matters to me is that I have progressed so much, made so many great strides, overcome numerous obstacles. Yet, seeing those photos felt like none of my hard work matters.
Temporarily, at least.

Like Rocky, who was beaten, yet bounces back, I get back to it again. Just for my own desire for health. Well being.

I know I have made great progress since January  2012. Had to give up a favorite pair of jeans twice when they became too baggy on my bum. Since 2004, have had to find a smaller favorite pair of jeans 8 times. It's a happy, willing sacrifice!

Today, before starting my workout, another girl who is also a regular, stopped to talk to me, gave me some encouragement to keep going.

Staying humble is good. Still, encouragement is appreciated.

She asked me if I had kept a record of my progress. Truthfully, I have kept a mental record. Noticing how clothes fit my body shows progress. Have not kept a fitness log or anything.
She was kind enough to point out the changes she noticed. Pointing out that:

- Legs are much smaller (especially thighs)
- Abs are smaller, flatter
- Arms have more muscle
- Tush - she said she can tell I take my squats seriously
- Ankles are more slender


Yayyyyyyy! Go, me! Go, me!

I gave her encouragement in turn, telling her the changes I noticed from her consistent workouts.

Her encouragement meant more than she realizes! Let alone the fact that I wore a dress to church on Sunday, that didn't fit me 4 years ago. It was way too small, too tight.
Now? It fits perfect with room to spare.

This led me to the thought that many people who are said to lie about what they look like online, may not be purposely misleading others. Maybe they have a different self image than reality.
Maybe.
I know that, I, myself would not intentionally try to visually deceive others, yet, when finding the 1/2012 photos, I didn't realize how I appeared.
When showing these disgusting photos to someone who is an acquaintance, so, would be honest, yet neutral in their assessment. The person said, -
"NO! Those don't even look like you, now, so, no worries!"

A bit of consolation there. Coming home, I have a "goal dress".
AKA - A dress I have from when I was 20 years of age, before marriage & babies. I tried it on. Ya know? I could almost zip it up. Almost. A year ago, I could not get the dress up over my hips. Now? I can pull it up over my hips, arms through sleeves, zip up almost to the top.
More work to do!

In time, in time.

In time, even grass turns into milk.