Do you dream, awake?

Sometimes, I do.

It must have been love but it's over now
It must have been good but I lost it somehow
It must have been love but it's over now
From the moment we touched, 'til the time had run out.
~Roxette~

My laptop died last Thursday, a wonderful person who has love & respect for my Veteran experience, bought a new one for me.

Not knowing of the rapes, the harassment, all that I went through during my time, serving the country that I love. A new laptop, so I can continue document translation, selling online. Doing everything possible, to keep going, keep on keeping on.

Although the ex huzz screwed me over, although I wrestle daily with depression, although I feel 200% alone, still, keeping going is essential. Oh, the Sunday conversations with my baby girl bolster me, make me feel less alone. My dear friend, Janice, is a wonderful cheerleader to help me through, coaching, if you will, through the tough times.

I'm a very physical person. A very sensitive one, needing hugs kind of girl. Going 2 - 3 weeks without so much as a hug is so so so very very difficult for one so sensitive such as I am.

In my perfect world, I would be deeply cherished by one strong man, giving birth to his babies with night after night after night of hot, steamy sex to produce such wonderful babies. Like a cherished Queen Bee.

Meh.

Although I am still highly sexual, highly fertile, I know, those days are over. It's difficult to trust any male enough to even kiss him.

I'm a Trekkie, watching "The Perfect Mate" episode, it triggers the metamorph attitude in me.

Maybe, just maybe, you may need to watch the episode to understand why this episode makes me identify with Kamala as I do. I really do identify with her so closely.

Maybe you'll watch it.

Maybe you won't.

Up to you.

Namaste.