The truth is -
(drumroll!)
The opportunity to go to college eluded me every time I tried.
In somewhat of a contradiction of this...….....people have also said I am a natural healer.
In truth, suffering disturbs me to my very soul!
When I see the suffering of any being, if it's within my capabilities to alleviate that suffering, whatever "it" is will be rectified immediately!
The solution may be financial, emotional, physical, spiritual.
When it's within my scope of control, a compelling desire arises within my spirit to do whatever I can, to alleviate that suffering.
Could it be that I have endured much suffering & this is cathartic?
Possibly
A family whom I have gotten to know has a cat who is spayed (thus, a female). Originally, the cat was "adopted" as a kitten, a gift for the family's 8 year old girl. When the cat had been spayed, the family turned her out to survive on her own.
This is so very sad, to me, as one who loves animals of most types.
Many times I have sat on my front porch, luring the cat to me. I have wet, canned cat food. The feline was obviously hungry to take such a risk as to advance so near me for food.
It saddens this heart of mine.
The "sent away" cat is becoming increasingly feral.
Several times the cat was on my front porch. She was crying from hunger, being uncomfortably cold or both. Feeling compassion for the kitten who was taken in, then kicked out to fend for herself, makes for an understanding between us. She yowls a lot.
FYI ~ I only purr. tyvm.
As much as I would want to bring her into my home, my home life is complete as it is. When new acquaintances learn that I'm single & live alone, they try to "give" me a dog or a cat, even a guinea pig, once. These well meaning people feel that I need a pet to keep me company, most can't understand that I have my life the way I like it.
Being self contained, content with my own company is a foreign concept to most people who would be unhappy flying solo as I do.
It took some serious self work to get to this point. Working on my own psyche, spirit, body is a process, one that most people either can't or won't take on.
This is how my life is, for now. It has been different in the past, it may change in the future or it may stay the same, maybe even a mixture of both.
For now, I'll do what I can to help "Ms. Kitty-cat". As long as it's plausible as well as possible, doing good in the world is a way of life that is quite enjoyable.
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In the immortal words of Ms. M ~
I am good, but not an angel
I do sin but I am not the devil
I am just a small girl in a big world
trying to find someone to love
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