Did you cry?

I used to cry more than I do, currently, today. May 26, 2015.

Maybe it's because I have been through waaay more than my fair share of deep, searing pain, betrayals, disappointments, beatings (YES actual physical beatings), rejection, emotional devastation, abandonment, humiliation.

Ya know what? I'm still here. Still sweet, still smiling.

Made up my mind a long time ago to be happy, so, I am happy.

Yesterday, as y'all know (I say "y'all", now!) was Memorial Day. It's also known by many people as a reason to BBQ, party, drink, do whatever.

That's all fine, it's all good. Just, while you enjoy the day, next time, please, take a few moments to think of those who are no longer here, who gave the ultimate for your freedom.

If you live in Graham, Texas, a great place to do just that is the Young County Veterans Memorial in front of the Court House. They are just names to many who would take my suggestion. They were real people who had real lives, families, babies they never saw grow up. Women, waiting at home, whose lives were felt to crumble around them with a visit from a military chaplain. Mothers & fathers whose sons went willing or unwilling, still they went, to defend their country. The American way of life, all that it meant to them.

I am a Veteran, I served during peace time. Leaving the safety of the small town in Michigan where I lived as a child, I volunteered.

Went willingly, full of fear of the unknown, hope for where it would take me, excitement at the idea of seeing the rest of the world!

Although it was peace time, there was still sacrifice involved. I missed Christmases, Birthdays, Mothers Days, Weddings, Graduations, Funerals, Births of new babies. I have a huge extended family. The career field I chose was a 24 hour occupation. Every day was the same. It was extremely rare to have a holiday off work. The chow hall served some pretty good Thanksgiving dinners, that's what I heard. I was usually on a post, guarding Government property, too far from the chow hall to make it there and back to my post in enough time.

Still, I wouldn't change anything about that.

It was easy, compared to the 8 -12 month "Sand-Box" rotations that many military people have as mandatory duty.

Yesterday, my thoughts turned to my lost love, Michael. Shot down at the age of 27, doing what he loved. What a wonderful man he was. Am greatful for the time he and I had together. My thoughts turned to the sacrifice so many women endured, waiting for those who returned, mourning those who did not. Generally, I prefer a good kick ass action movie, sci fi or comedy. ANYTHING except a sappy love story.

I watched a movie, on YouTube:

The Lost Valentine

It made me a little bit emotional, touched my heart. Going to the Young County Veterans memorial, purty much, was overwhelming.

So, yes, for the first time in a long time, I cried. Cried for the bravery of the men & women whose lives were snuffed out in their prime. Some were barely out of high school. Many were still teenagers!

I cried at how the families must have felt, the new brides made widows when they were barely old enough to vote or drive. The memorialized ones themselves for what they may have endured, the pain, agony, heartache, knowing they would be absent from their loved ones lives.

Yesterday, I read the names out loud, saying their names so they were not totally forgotten.

Yes, on Memorial Day, I cried.