What happened at the COS?

OKAY

Beloved darling, my youngest loin fruit was coming home from serving as a missionary, that was one of the purposes of the trip back to a place I swore I would never want to go back to.

Well, the desire was there! For a multiple of reasons, sufficient to propel me to drop the dollars on a ticket.

Still have a few friends, there. Got in on time. Although the luggage arrived 5 hours after the flight. Ha ha.

Next day, a trip to Hobby Lobby for welcome home poster supplies! This was a new experience. When the oldest one served in Scotland, I went to Edinburgh to bring her home. So, arriving back in COS, there was no poster, just a bunch of hungry people at the end of the journey back, which is a story in itself, another time, perhaps.

Spending time talking with my dear friend, catching up, the poster making waited a day. She took priority.

That's what I do. Make those dear ones a priority who make me a priority. Seems healthy, fair, right.

When there was an "event" in Dallas,a couple months ago, wearing a hot pink shirt, with hot pink/ yellow/green/tan kaleidoscope yoga pants, 3 different hotties asked me out. Although I don't consider myself a "cougar", it was in that ilk. So 3 hotties in mid 30s range, perfect! Going to the event was simply a fun change of pace for me, I wasn't actually looking.

Am never looking. They look for me.

Sperm chases the egg or there is no party.

I wore the hot pinks for confidence, in truth, it was a nerve wracking event.

So, hot pink confidence rags. CHECK

Light up Welcome Poster. CHECK

Friend for support. CHECK

She got in about 30 minutes before we even got there! It was still wonderful. My friend found her before I did! She was wandering the airport. There were still sighs of surprise, delight, tight hugs and whispers of "I love you."

Imperfectly perfect.

It doesn't always go the way ya think it will, however it goes the way it's supposed to go!

Then....the ex huzz showed up. The look on his face was priceless. Had not seen him in 65 lbs. lol

Having known someone as long as I had known him, as well as I knew him, although he tried to mask his expression, it was painfully obvious to me. He had gained the 65 lbs I lost.

He used to tell me I was so fat, ugly, repulsive, ha ha. KARMA!

Daddy had to go back to sleep so he could work a killer mid shift,so, I got the girl!

Took her out to Bonefish Grille for dinner, gave her the beautiful birth stone ring I bought for her, she said it felt like Christmas.

In truth, it was Christmas for me, having my darling back was the sweetest gift I could ever have!

Back to working 2 jobs! Awesome! Love it!

Here I go!

The Value of squats!

More fitness talk!

More

More

More

Well, okay, then, since you asked!

Have been an elliptical addict, cardio freak, believer in yoga, lover of Pilates, learned more about correct form in strength training. Through it all, I have always done my squats. 50 per day, stretched out throughout the day. Had heard that they are good for a beauty to give her a great booty!

Yet

I never fully understood exactly WHAT effect squats had on the gluteus. Today, I talked with a girl at the gym, who showed me her before & after pics of her bare booty before doing squats then after a year of doing her squats every day.
Hmm, a girl I didn't know showing me pics of her bare booty.

No girl on girl action, not even hittin on me or her. This is about 2 fitness foxes, sharing info, motivation, knowledge.
If you're a guy who gets a woodie from the girl on girl idea, no joy for ya, here! Ha Ha!
It's fitness action.

This chick was very fit, pre-squats. Slender, toned, slightly muscled.

Pre-squats, the muscles right below her butt were somewhat lightly flab, her booty had a slight sag to it.

After squats!

ZOWIE!

The muscles were toned, pulled in, her booty was very round, firm, on their way to buns of steel!

The understanding of squat value happened after the practice of it. Now, the difference is, I will be squatting like I mean it!

Squat like it's hot, baby, squat like it's HAWT!

Cold-orado

Yup

So, the flight was easy, connections on time, no annoying seat mates. Met some cool, friendly people while waiting during my brief layovers. Hit up the USO for a decent lunch, free Girl Scout cookies for my friend. They have gotten a bit more reserved as to what they give out. They do, however, recognize me when I come in (been there a lot! lol!) I always ask for 2 frozen cheeseburgers. I heat them, take the meat patty out, scrape the cheese off, toss the bread. A bit of protein & an avocado that I bring from home is all I need. BOOM!
They offered a free box of Girl Scout cookies, so, I texted my friend asking her fave cookies.
She's a tall slender Swede, she can eat cookies.

This trip will be interesting, exciting. The night before, I knew I wouldn't sleep, so, I didn't waste the effort. Yup, ha ha. Didn't go to sleep. Got by on it, slept good last night.
Woke up this morning to a wet pillow!
Blood!
Welcome to altitude living.
Had at least 1 nose-bleed per day, when living here, I got up, rinsed the pillow case. My friend was rushing to get to work on time.
Tomorrow is day 2 in Cold-orado.
It's the big day.

Stay tuned!

*smiling*

I LOVE MEN!

This morning started like any other morning. Up @ 5, head to the gym by 0510.

On my way there, I drove past a day care facility, saw 3 guys walking their little ones in. It might seem ordinary, yet, it struck me as sweet, touching, the care these men were showing to their little children tugged on my heart. Yep, I know, I'm too sensitive.

Got to the gym, walked in, there were 4 guys working out like usual. They are usually there in the mornings. On my way back to the big exercise room, I heard them talking about how awesome their wives are. Their deep voices, praise for spouses, while still pumping iron, sweating, grunting, smelling like sweat.........and testosterone! My favorite scent!

These  observances of these men doing every day activities touched me,made me happy!

It's going to be a great day!!!

Continuation

End of the day.It really WAS a great day! I have a new BBQ grill! The guy at the register helped me get the grill to the car. Texas men are chivalrous gents. Love it!

While at work, 2 of the other employees were having trouble with their glasses giving them discomfort. Whenever I have passed them in the aisles there were brief smiles, greetings. Today, they each came into the vision center at different times to let me help them with adjusting their specs. They spoke briefly as time allowed, about their lives, families, children. It was sweet. Made me see these 2 gentlemen in a different light.

I LOVE MEN! ESPECIALLY GENTLEMEN!

Ciao

EXCITEMENT in the air!

Almost go time!

Today, tomorrow, working full days, then I take off! It's not that I'm excited to go to Cold-orado. I'm excited to see the people there! A change of scenery, a change of pace. it all sounds good, like something I need right now.
Used to fear change, now, embracing change is a way of life for moi.

Change is one of the few constants in life.

Changing attitude with new information. Going different places, meeting new people. Learning that what seemed to apply to life as I know it today,won't apply, tomorrow. Embracing it, reveling in it is the way to live. 
Fighting change is akin to hating the hill you know you must climb, so, enjoy the scenery, feel the wind in your face. Grow,change, love life, the alternative will cause one to never have the enriching experiences to grow, to develop into a better person.

Speaking of growing! I discovered what I doing that is causing my fingernails to grow, my hair to start growing faster.
Cucumber juice.
Yup, ha ha!
Cucumbers have a high concentration of silica, which causes hair & nails to grow faster, stronger, healthier.
Yup, lol, I'm growing!

Juicy!

Juices!

Juicing!

I'm lovin' it!

The phrase  has new meaning, a new sort of RING to it for me! Now.

Yeah, I admit, there was a time when I took way too many hits from the Big Mac! The whopper slugged me around, too! Not to mention the supremely unhealthy burrito supreme. Maybe that's a new twist on the name?

Big Mac = Big Gut

Whopper = The lie you tell yourself that the calories won't count it you wash it down with a diet soda!

Burrito Supreme = Burrito that is supremely unhealthy!

Dairy Queen = Guaranteed to help you grow to the size of a Queen size mattress!

Red Lobster = Red Monster with everything fried, gooey, enough to make you look like a monster when you keep eating there too much.

I remember getting a queasy feeling when carrot juice was mentioned. Something seemed very unnatural about putting the words "carrot" + "juice" together.

Just as disgusting sounding as "cucumber" + "juice"! Ew. Ew. Ew!

I am now eating those words. No. I am drinking them ! Ha ha! Since getting my power juicer, I am absolutely loving this!

My obesity genetics are very strong. Very prevalent. My mother struggled with obesity for most of her life. My younger sister, Julie, was 4'11", 685 lbs when she passed on before her 33rd Birthday. She died on my 40th. Happy Birthday to me. :(

My 3 brothers struggle with obesity, my older sister has slightly different genetics so her struggle is somewhat easier. 

Family members say, "Brenda is skinny, she's lucky." Bullshit. Brenda isn't THAT lucky, ha ha! 

Working out every day into a stinky, sweat drenched, quivering mess isn't about luck. It's hard work! Motivation, dedication, determination to beat the obesity genetics. I'm doing it!

Over the past 11 years, I have done a ton of research to find what works to preserve my health, to sculpt my body back to where I know I can be. Finding not just what works, finding what works for my body, my own unique physiology. A real challenge!

It's not so much about being skinny. It's about being healthy, strong, lean, fit, active!

A sexy beast!

A fox in fox clothing!

A lean machine!

A gym angel!

A cutie with a booty!

A lass with a great....

I think I should stop! You get the picture!

When a co-worker told me about the benefits she received from juicing, I was inspired, intrigued. When something catches my attention, I believe it caught my attention for a reason.

That reason is, I must investigate! Sometimes it gets me in a bit of trouble. So what. :)

So, I started juicing. Some of my favorite combinations are:

4 Cucumbers, 1" ginger root

or 

1 lb carrots, 1" ginger root

or

1 package baby spinach, 1 bell pepper, 1 apple

A few years ago this sounded nasty, yukkie gross to me!

Now?

YUM!!!

Today, I was at work when one of my favorite people came by. I had not seen Sarah in 3 months. She was really excited about beginning to juice! She told me that from our phone conversations, she became inspired to start juicing.

Then, she stepped back, took a look at me, asked me if I was dating someone. That I definitely looked different.

She told me I had more "glow" in my skin, that I looked as if I had taken off 20 lbs. She knows how to thrill me!

I told her I had been on a juice fast for 2 weeks. On my 5'3" frame, losing 10 lbs makes a big difference. I had felt different, stronger, more energetic, more focused. Wasn't aware that I looked different. Ahhhh, Sarah. So good for me!

Feeling physically good does not always amount to feeling emotionally and/or spiritually good.

As much as things are going right in my life, I battle with depression. A pervasive feeling of deep sadness. A feeling of being completely alone in the world. Isolated. It's my personal demon.

Sarah is a wonderful person, gives great hugs! I needed those hugs, being beaten down a lot lately. Anxiety over my upcoming trip. Cold-orado is my least favorite place, yet, it's important to go.

Sarah's hugs brightened my whole day. I hope she starts to love juicing as much as I'm loving it. Depression is tough to conquer, however, it's better to not have to conquer depression AND obesity.

More Juicing = No Obesity

More Hugs = No Depression

I'll keep juicing, maybe one cure will take care of both, eventually!

When did people start being so fake?

Just be genuine.

It happens all day, every day. All night, every night. Maybe it became more prevalent when social media came into existence? There have always been fakers, posers, impersonators. There was even a movie made about it, "Catch me if you can". 

Why are so many people so fake without much to gain? Saying they care, when they don't. Tossing "I love you" out there as casually as they would order a burger at the drive through speakers in auto lane of a fast food restaurant. People will often seem to be on board, committed to plans with another person or a group, then.......they flake. Maybe they forgot, maybe they felt they couldn't say, "no". Maybe they are just one of millions of people who have never learned how to just be real.

This pervasive practice has caused me to lose a lot of trust, a lot of faith in the goodness of people.

Seems, to me, that people used to be more trustworthy, more faithful to their spouses, their commitments. Integrity was more common, flakes, not so much.

In today's world, most people only give first names, aren't willing to help another person, say things they don't mean to people they should care about, yet their own selfishness keeps them from following through.

When a woman who seems to me to be a flake, recently asked me to come to an event I told her I would be working. She knew I would be working during that time, I always work during that time frame, she comes to my workplace to do business. This woman just irks me with her lack of sincerity. So,when she invited me, then, I told her I would be working, she said, "I'll miss you." Bullshit!
I shot back at her, "I don't believe you, thank you, anyway."
She wasn't even shocked. No reply at all.
Maybe, facing the result of her repeated lack of being genuine no longer phases her.

People cannot be changed until they recognise, then, wish to change. People can only change themselves.

Personally, I will stay genuine, in a world of fakes. I will cherish those who are valuable to me, those who I love, who love me in return.
This morning, I deleted 20 contacts from my cell, permanently. Just another step toward being more real.

Getting SERIOUS!!

Finally...

Now, I see it!

Have been feeling it for a few months, now. Finally, I see it! Have not seen my obliques for a long ass time. Now, not only can I feel the shift in the muscles on the sides of my body from right below my breasts to the top of my hip bones, I see them!!!

From the fit, strong slender girl I was after  finishing USAF training to the flabby, miserable, obese person I became after giving birth to 4 sweet babies, married to a hyper critical, verbally abusive male. Now, have come full circle. It feels good to not say that, it feels good to be that!

Talk the talk, walk the walk. Be the bee. Feeling like the Queen BEE!

This morning, I could feel a shift in mind, body, intent, focus. Didn't feel the need to take even 5 minutes to prep my hair or even a smidge of make up before leaving for the gym! Rinse the face, brush the teeth, brush hair back into a low pony tail. BOOM! Out the door. Don't give a #2, what matters most is getting there,pumped up to start another hard, painful, sweaty workout!

Today is a job #2 day, so, don't have to be at work until 10 am! An hour later is 1 extra hour to work on sculpting my body into a higher level of fit/strong, lower BMI.

I want it.

Want it so bad!

Gonna get it!

I want to be that woman who looks skinny in street clothes, looks like a beast, naked, nothing but a smile!

The LBN movement fascinates me. Oh, I'm a very feminine girly girl. Perfume, not much makeup, lingerie, not one for lace but lots of soft silky clothes. Beauty, sweetness, softness and strong, tough survivor mentality.

LBN = Look Better Naked

NOT better than others, no,it's not a prideful, arrogant attitude. It's looking better than before starting a rigorous, self improvement regimen for mind & body!

Stay humble.

Stay sweet.

Love deeply, loving yourself enough to take care of the body you were given. I see it as an expression of gratitude to the creator who gave this miraculous machine of female human body to a spirit in trust

It's about love, trust, work and uttering profanities occasionally, just a little, it's the angel/devil balance. ha ha!

Today, I seek balance.

*smile*
.

Mele of my Heart

Can you feel it? 

This heart, born with me at birth is a sensitive, sweet and caring one. It can also be a strong, fierce heart of a warrior woman, fighter, a lover, a true heart.

Hearts can be very wild, that's why ribs are cages.

Malama na koa!

I'm a lover, not a fighter, I will still fight for what I love. Have to add to this, I will give my time, love, my caring to those who give theirs to me.

Having lived in Hawai'i for a total of 7 years plus going back numerous times after that, the islands live in my heart, even if I can't live in the islands. One very popular person in the islands is Keali'i Reichel. He is undefinable. So many facets to this wonderful man!
He is a professor of Hawai'ian History, A Kumu Hula, A Comedian, A song writer, Entertainer, Performance Artist, Cultural Ambassador plus so much more!
His music touches the souls of so many around the world. His music is, simply, born from his heart to reach out to connect with the others in the world in need of the sweet caresses which wash over like warm trickles of water on a chilly day.

His music is made to be danced to in Hula movements. Sometimes seductively slow with a serious pout on the dancers lips as in E' O' Mai. Sometimes in painstakingly precise floor movement as in Mauna Leo. Sometimes very slow sexy movement with teasing hips, bright, mischievous smiles as in E Ho'i I Ka Pili.

His music is sometimes baby-making music. You know what I mean!

Quite often, it's just sweet to lay back, pick up every nuance of the slack key guitar, the trill of the Ukulele tenor key, the rattle of the Uli Uli, the soft beat of the Ipu heke.

Then......there's his voice! Like no other voice, ever! Not even Izrael Kamakawiwo'ole.
Also known as Bradda Iz. Mostly famous for his song at the opening of a hit T.V. show. Somewhere Over The Rainbow.

Keali'i has such personality. He's a very joyful, fun filled, emotional, hot bodied Hawai'ian. His first language was Hawai'ian during his childhood on Maui.
His music is most often in Hawai'an, sometimes in Hawai'ian with some English. A few songs, such as Fields of Gold are in English with his soulful voice rendering music as only he can. The road that never ends. Beautiful.

Here we are
In this holy place together
Bearing witness 
As the two of you become man and wife
On this day as you join in heart and spirit
You begin another chapter in the book of life

Love
Is a circle that surrounds you
You can find it on the faces of your family and friends
Love
Let it wrap its' arms around you
And guide you on your journey down the road that never ends

There's a song in your heart
You can hear it if you listen
As it whispers through the branches
High above the family tree
And as time
Plays its' melody upon you
You can rest assured in knowing
That you're right where you should be

There's more. You can look him up on You Tube to experience for yourself the beauty of his music. Revel in his humor, his wit, maybe even find yourself swaying, humming along! It's a sweet experience of ohana.


I have danced hula to his music both in public as well as in private. Am not as precise as I would like, however, it feels good to lose myself in the movements.

My favorite Keali'i Reichel song is Mailes Song. Also known as Hawai'ian Lullaby. It features a section by Robert Cazimero: 

I can smile when it's raining
And touch the warmth of the sun
I hear children laughing
In this place that I love


Beautiful! I told my daughter I want her to have this song with her dancing a hula to it at my funeral. Life is part of living. In living we run the risk of dying each day.

If the link below is un-clickable, copy & paste into your address bar. Listen to this song with your eyes closed. With headphones. With eyes opened if you wish. Listen with your ears, feel it trickle into your heart.
Mahalo for letting me share with you.

Aloha!




https://youtu.be/xejiWC4EAls

Rehab Time!

Let's go!

After my morning workout, there was a bit too much traffic congested around the school zone, so, I took an alternate route. The route chosen took me through a neighborhood that was slightly upscale. 

Let me just say that I'm not a dumpster diver kinda gal. Not dogging those who are, it simply is not my way. I prefer new, unique items. Yeah, just like many aspects of my life, I'm quite picky. I know what I prefer, generally stick to it.

There was a large, white house with a beautifully landscaped yard. Set out to the road was an upholstered chair that had seen better days. Next to it, was a small oval table.All wood, real wood! It has an inset thick glass top. The wood is beautiful. Just needs a bit of filler in a couple spots. The dove tail joints snapped together when I pressed on them. I put it in my car, took it home. It was surprisingly heavy! 
The first thought was GUEST ROOM!!!
My daughter may be coming down here to visit me. In the past 8 years of being on my own, I have always kept a guest room. Time to get it together!

My buds are always asking me how they can help me. How they can do something for me. Being a very independent person who is not used to that, all I needed was for them to change some light bulbs for me, I don't have a ladder...yet. So, rung them up to ask of their experience in painting. Told them about my table find with all of it's potential, they agreed to take a look at it. YAY!

I took before pix. Maybe, I'll post before & after versions!

Stay tuned!

Hello Buddies! 

Meet Jack!

Last night was, umm, interesting. Kinda fun, revealing.

My 3 buddies arrived at 5 pm. 2 buds, 1 new guy. They arrived to my door at 5 pm to the aroma of fresh baked bread, garlic & chicken, mmm!

Since I have gone up a level in my quest for greater health, my Jack LaLanne power juicer is sitting on the butcher block table in my kitchen where there used to be a bamboo arrangement. When Jesse stepped in, he looked at the juicer, asked what the heck it was! 

OMGoodness! he asked so he durn well was gonna find out, ha ha! I grabbed some ginger root plus a 1 lb. container of carrots from the fridgie. Cut the carrots plus a 1.5 " section of ginger, powered ol' Jack up & juiced those babies! The guys were looking at the carrot & ginger juice pouring out of the juicer in a steady stream with combined 'tudes of amazement mixed with what looked like, O Lord! hope she won't ask me to try that shizz! ROFLMOO!!

Too late.

Asking them who's going first, there were no volunteers. I poured a little into a demi crystal taster cup, the first one took it. The look on his face was priceless! A total eww yuck moment!
I busted up laughing as I poured & handed the second cup to Cali guy! His reaction was masked quite well, yet, I could see right through him. Next, was Jesse. He threw it back like a tequila shot then smiled. HAH! he was such a champ!

Slowly I let the guys off the hook.

We sat down, Cali guy said the blessing on the food then one poured the lemon water into wine glasses. Each took a turn spooning the pesto chicken & tortellini Alfredo onto their plates. I sliced the warm bread, only an hour old. As they dug into the grub they gathered, I heard their murmurs of extreme culinary pleasure. Jesse looked at me, "OMG! How did you make this! How did you become such a great cook?" I told him, I had a catering service for 5 years. Cali guy smiled, "Ah, that explains it. The food not only looks good, it has presentation appeal!" 
WOWZERZ!
Now, that was an ah-may-zing  compliment!
These 3 guys, sitting around my Pier 1 bistro table, laughing, talking, joking, sharing stories, were a little slice of heaven on Earth, last night.
Doing nice things for others feels so good, so natural to me. Cooking to please others is an extreme pleasure for me! 
Since I'm mainly juicing, I boxed up the chicken tortellini for Jesse to take home, then the bread for the other 2 guys. They were such great company, loved having them over.

The evening was almost perfect!

All good things.....