The Most Beautiful Thing

Is now

Now is what we have in our present day

It's everything we do it's everything we say

It's how we speak our words when we say

I love you I like you hope you have a nice day

It's the feeling you get from being so kind

That the serotonin spins inside your mind

It's making love with the one in your heart

Counting the hours til together when apart

It's the sweetness of babies being as they are

Created from stardust on that wishing star

It's finding the joy in an overplayed song

Easing time in traffic when it's been too long

It's a sweaty workout at the favorite gym

With my hot sweaty thoughts of him only him

It's beautiful to live in this rhyme as I say

I like you I love you have a nice day!!!

**************************************************

Yes, I wrote this.

Brenda M Garten - Bautista

What are you looking for?

The most cliche' phrase in the single world..........and also some of the married world of cheaters.

Also, my least favorite query.

It says, "What are you looking for?"

What it means of the asker, 

"I'm looking for NSA sex, are you?"

Yupp. Ha ha. Pretty much.

Pretty disgusting, to me. I learned the deeply painful lesson that sex outside of marriage will darken my soul. Won't do it again.

The way many people answer it is as varied as there are people. The way I would LIKE to answer it is over-kill, I know this.

The way I would like to answer it is, are ya ready?

Here goes:

What am I looking for? 

I'm not looking. 

I'm living life, taking peace & happiness wherever it finds me. If I WERE looking for anything it would be a decent guy who was truly single, truly available. 

He could be from 19 to whatever. Most older guys can't handle me. (Some, can, most can't.)

A guy who is emotionally available, truly emotionally, mentally, spiritually, psychologically mature. Enough to treat me as a human being and be self confident enough to handle me as a self confident, loving, kind, caring, high energy person.

If I were looking, that is. 
It would take someone who had so much to offer, so much connection, chemistry, mutual respect & resources that I would feel like I was not settling. I settled when I married, I learned to only accept that which was good enough, healthy enough for both myself and the others involved.

Having learned to simply BE, it's a happy, peaceful existence. A life of arriving then leaving whenever it pleases me. A life filled with FITNESS PRACTISES!

Love my long sweaty workouts.

Love living in Texas.

Love blogging!

Hope you enjoy reading.

Peace out!

Skills!

Got 'em?

Good!

No?

Go get some!

Everyone is capable of gaining phenomenal skills. Abilities that will help them in everyday life, sometimes even give some pocket change!

When I was relatively new in my fitness journey, I never thought I would enjoy it as much as I do. Living in Colorado Springs when I began my fitness journey, I was about to find out!

The Peterson AFB Fitness Center in Colorado Springs, CO had a husband & wife team of Yoga & Pilates teachers. They made it look like so much fun! I needed to change it up, so, I gathered information on times & days when the classes were offered. I was about to discover YOGA!

Free Yoga classes, yet another military benefit!

I went to these classes, free of charge, every day that it was offered. If there had been a fee, I would have gone broke! First, I tried Power Yoga. It was a bit much for a beginner, plus, the class started at 0530 hrs. Plus, I didn't "click" with the teacher.

Yeah. 

5:30 aka o'dark thirty!

I know I was hooked when Yoga hooked me! 

The married couple who led the Yoga & Pilates class were so much more instructive. It was a more relaxed pace, it was also that the classes started at usually 1100 hrs to 1300 hrs. 

Yeah, baby! 

It almost felt like family. Yep, it was that good!

I felt myself changing. Changing my mindset, changing my sleeping patterns. Becoming more peaceful inside. I admit, I had a somewhat vengeful nature, before this.

Only when someone hurt me so badly, though, that it would devastate me to my core. Emotional pain is the worst, for me. It disturbs my sleep, interferes with my family relationships. Gives stomach aches, headaches, nausea, loss of appetite.

Turns me upside down!

Yupp. That's what it took for me to want vengeance.

Legal vengeance. 

Even that need for vengeance disappeared. As my body became more lean, I practiced more Yoga. As I did more Yoga, my body became more lean.

A beautiful, ongoing circle.

In present day, I don't know who that vengeful girl was, yet, I'm so glad that I'm no longer her.

Yoga skills have helped me in other ways, too.

On Monday, I went to a GFs home. She wanted to show me her new sewing machine that was way under a coffee table against the wall.

I got down on hands & knees on the floor, slid my left shoulder under my chest, flattened my body out on the floor, grabbed the machine & pulled it out!

She sat up from where she was on the sofa and asked me,
"Good god, girl! How did you just do that? That would put me in pain for a month!"

Not realizing that I just did what feels totally natural to me, I looked at her and replied:

"Oh, it's only because of doing Yoga."

GF is beautiful. Beautiful in face, body, mind, spirit. She's good people. She's also 10 yrs younger than me. :)

Yoga skills benefit me constantly. I'm only 5'3", yet, I can reach my hand quite high & far when needed. I can also balance on 1 foot, right or left for as long as I wish. It's all part of the benefit training muscles & stretching & extending them regularly for flexibility. Another benefit of Yoga is the peacefulness that a person can reach for in times of stress and/or duress.

Enough Yoga preach! Ha ha!

Many people have hidden skills. Abilities that people purposely hide, which are private.

Skills within you that are just waiting to be unlocked! 

Being humble is best.

I have a multitude of very useful skills. Many are very private. Many are those which I only bring out once in awhile, when needed.

When people live up to their full potential, discovering things about themselves, it makes for a much happier life.

Your own personal skills are waiting for you to discover. Whatever your age is, whatever factors are present in your life, they are waiting for you.

The greatness of you is an embryo inside, it wants to be born! Give it life!

Peace out!

Do I Reach You?

Doi-je vous attiens?

Ich griefen sie?

Co'mo llego a usted?

Posso raggiungere voi?

Ha ha! Language skills DO benefit me more than just a profession .

or

Listening when others are talking about me in a language other than English, protesting that they are not.

Careful, peeps.

Some USA citizens, such as myself, do understand every word you say even when you're speaking a language other than English or Amerikanische. HAH!

On occasion, when I'm feeling particularly puckish, I will even respond. It's to the embarrassment of the person who thinks no one can understand what they are saying. All in good humor, though.

The surprised look on the offenders face is enough fun, for me. 

Yeahhhhhhh, it's how I sometimes get my kicks!

There's a statistics feature on my blog, telling me where my viewers are approximately originating from.

So far, my viewers are originating from:

USA (of course)

Germany

Canada

Ireland

Scotland

England

China

Mexico

Japan

Ukraine

Russia
Australia
France
South Africa
Romania

Italy

Spain

Czech Republic

US Virgin Islands

Costa Rica

Venezuela

Pakistan

Thailand

Viet Nam

Poland

Saudi Arabia

Afghanistan

Israel

Samoa

Fiji

Greece

New Zealand

Iceland

Greenland

Phillipine Islands

Tonga

Sweden

Finland

Austria

Belgium

So, peeps, feel free to comment in any language. You are welcome as long as you keep it respectful.

It surprised me the first time I saw what a wide viewing audience I have.

So, no shock that I'm closing on 5,000 views on my blog.

Having lived in or visited several of those countries, it makes me happy to have people from there reading what is written here by "moi".

Reaching a wide audience makes the world feel a bit more connected. Isn't that what the internet is supposed to do?

A resource can only fulfill it's positive purpose when used positively. That's my very common view. Positivism, that's what it bee about!

So, if I reach you, I want to say, I wish you, wherever you are:

Love in your life. Love is the strongest force there is. 

Love yourself. 

Love others, love your family. 

Reach out and show love to your pets.

Love is the strongest influence you can have on yourself and on the world.

Love 

Peace

and Crabs (It's a USA joke!)

L8ers!

Going, Going, Gone & Gone

A continued theme, packing, sorting trashing.

Packing, sorting, trashing, donating

Sorting, packing, trashing, donating

Sorting, trashing, filing, donating

Sorting, filing

Organizing

Organizing

Organizing

Clearing

Organizing

Clearing, donating

This has been my life for the past couple weeks. Also have to fit in some document translation, blogging, a bit of socializing. Just to keep some sanity, some motivation to keep going.

After my marriage ended, I dated ......A LOT! I felt so sure that there was someone out there, looking for someone like me.

They were, alright, yet, most had less than honorable intent.

I rolled with it.

The guys could want what they want, yet, we didn't want the same things. They could want, I could want, it didn't necessarily mean they or I would get what either of us wanted.

Personally, I didn't get what I was seeking, I didn't give them theirs, either.

There were expensive gifts, lunches & dinners in pricey eateries. I can feed myself. It was nice to be treated and sometimes, I treated.

Lots of good conversation, sometimes deep, sometimes just small talk. On phone or in person. Each of these were fun times.

Needless to say, I didn't get what I truly wanted, the guys didn't get what they truly wanted, either. All is fair, ah s'pose.

When sorting through so much "stuff" I had to donate so much!! A lot of it was gifts from that time in my life, after divorce, when I re-entered the dating world. 
Thoughtful gifts of a personal nature.

Several pieces of jewelry, I genuinely love. Although, from certain guys, the feeling for it was a love for the beauty of the jewelry, itself, nothing to do with the one who gave it to me.

Some of it DOES have a connection to the giver.

Am simply not a materialistic person.

At least, not AS materialistic as the average person in the USA. Every time I move from one place to another, I rid myself of "stuff", yet, still end up feeling as if I have too much!

I find myself keeping all of the smaller items, yet, the larger items get donated. The items, themselves, are beautiful. I took good care of them, so, they are in "like new" condition. The person who finds these treasures, will probably wonder.

"How can someone part with something so new, so beautiful!"

My answer is, I loved the person, I kept the memory. The memory is the most beautiful gift of all.

The time spent with each person changed me, what a gift! Having learned to use things & love people is a gift in itself.

The opposite is too often true in todays world.

Not this chik. *smile* 

I will love people with my whole heart always.

Things?

They matter less & less with time.

People are precious.

Peace out.

HE

He started out so different from who he is today

When the changes happened he really couldn't say

The sparkling eyes and his sweet boyish grin

A strong masculine jaw with his clefted chin

His heart of gold with his ever creative mind

Treasures untold for any woman to find

In time it became clear to the loves of his life

His darkening soul that betrayed his lovely wife

Betrayed his children let his whole family down

This small town boy from his beloved small town

He seemed to think his dishonor was hidden well

His pain his deceitfulness his own private hell

One woman was not enough to fill his deep need

He became just a vessel to go out to spread seed

As sure as the sun always sets in the west

He knew that he was no longer living his best

His sleep was disturbed his confidence had failed

His whole existence was becoming so derailed

The love of his wife had turned to cold stone

He knew he should never have left her alone

Those girls who he gave too much of his time

Spread so thin he gave while still in his prime

Now he is alone even with a fun crowd

The silence in his ears is deafening loud

At night he copes as best he can

The legacy of an unfaithful man

*************************************

Yes, I wrote this. If you think it's about you, then it is. If you think it isn't about you, then it isn't. Either way, you're right.
A mystery is a pleasure for the mind. :)

It's a PJ Thing

In the past 10 days, I have been packing, transporting in preparation to move from one house to another. It's grueling, tiring, painful, time consuming, etc etc! Now that everything is in the new place, where do I begin?

I could not have done it without:

Sid

Steven

Derrick

Brantley

Then, on another day

ANNNNIIIIIITTTTTTAAAAA!!!!!!!

Thank you so much, y'all are awesome sauce!!

Also, finding & re-reading quotes I have written down on bits of paper. As a bit of a "quotesmith" vs a "wordsmith", I write quotes down. Quotes that make me laugh, smile, pull out of my head at times when it's needed.

Being part of the military & military association is an integral part of who I am.

HEY!

It did good things for me.

After the commencement speech in 2014 at University of Texas at Austin, I began watching similar videos of Admiral McRaven.  This led to watching combat footage from many Soldiers, Airmen, Marines & Seamen. This led to watching, on You Tube, the whole series of a group of  Pararescue guys as they go through the grueling torture that is the Pararescue Pipeline!

Hello!
My name is Brenda and I'm a You Tube Junkie.

The school is also called "Superman School" and yes, for good reasons!

It's only men of steel who apply, the school turns them very nearly into Superman!

Of course, when I was assigned to Hickam AFB, Hawai'i, I knew nothing of this. Knew nothing of what it takes to even be accepted into the PJ training courses. At 19? I knew nothing at all! I did, however, FEEL the raw male charisma, the deep & strong integrity rolling off of these guys.

I felt it, though, I wasn't sure what it was I felt.

The quote really stirred me. I may or may not get this quote right, yet, here goes.

"The burden of personal responsibility. The burden of personal accountability is every PJs creed of life, for life. Those who shirk this responsibility begin to fail in the worst possible way. They fail themselves as their knowledge surfaces in guilt, insecurity, lowered self confidence. They know who they are, they know what they should be, failing themselves is the most damning shortfall a man can experience."

Okay, take a breath.
Just breathe.

As a girl I wouldn't have qualified for the schooling these guys qualified for. Nor, would I want to. I'm far from a feminazi. Let the guys do a guys job, I will simply sit back & watch in awe of them.
Although, it would have been an honor to try, Norma said it best.

"I don't mind living in a mans' world as long as I can still be a woman in it."

I love being all girl. Watching the PJ school vids didn't tell the whole story, yet, having known of these guys was a breath taking experience for me!

Just to be clear, I never knew them as well as I would have liked. I'm sure they barely thought of me at all.
If any of them did, they probably thought I was just another stupid, drooling idiot. Just another one who admired them, yet, not quite worthy.
That's okay.
What I was?
A somewhat shy girl from a small town, new to the USAF, still trying to figure life out.

But the PJs, they seemed to have it all. Everything I wanted to be. Wanted to be so sure of myself, so sure of my abilities, part of something so much more magnificent than I was at the time.

So close to Superman, yet, so far. 

Until next time, hold a good thought for me.

L8ers.

I Know What I Wanted

Oh I wanted my darlings to see that the world

Could hold such wonderful magical places

Gave them all of my love plus surprises

To see looks of delight on their sweet little faces

We had duck pudding sometimes elephant too

Being so silly made for such a childhood treasure

It made the time and work and daily sacrifices

Turn from exhaustion and pain into pure pleasure

Big and beautiful birthday celebrations always

Lambs, luaus, cowboys, tea party, TP princess

It was the only proper way for this chik to give it

The Queen of follow through went to excess

The adventures we had on 747 birthday parties

The excursions to France to simply do grocery shopping

The daily crossings of El Puente de Diablo were

Mesmerizing exciting sometimes just jaw dropping

Each of my sweet darlings had a different experience

They all remember it differently in so many different ways

Through it all there is one theme they all have in their hearts

The sense of adventure of a magical childhood still stays

Oh the Christmases we had with such glitter and such fun

Oh the joy of the gifts they were delighted with so deep

It was mostly worth the pain after the party I thought

Though I suffered so greatly from so much lack of sleep

For babies have a funny habit of growing into children fast

Then children grow into teenagers as we plead with him above

My only wish is that my sweet babies know that their mother

Did all that she did to preserve sanity while giving all of her love

******************************************************

It's Truly Optional

Many people see it as inevitable, unavoidable, no way out of it.

Au contraire

It's optional.

Many believe it's unnecessary to fight it, dislike it, deny it. To do so, goes against biology, goes against who people are as human beings.

However, the attitudes in most of the world truly stink toward it. The attitudes deny all people of enriching experiences which can better them in so many ways. People have been fed the false attitude toward it by the media and, guess what?

They have been duped into believing it.

Of course, the same can be said for the attitude toward everyone NEEDING sexual intercourse akin to NEEDING water, food, air, etc.

Nope. Ya will still live without sexual interaction.

I'm living proof. 

Wanting sex, needing sex, gave males too much control, too much power over me.

No bueno.

The solution?

Stop wanting it until I am married.
FYI - Am not looking.

Problem solved.

No, the ignorance I speak of is the attitude that people have to become incapacitated as they move on through time. Getting old is optional.

People give up on life for the same reason they fall out of bed. They need to be farther into it.

When a person keeps the burning curiosity alive in themselves, they continue to learn, to grow, to change. When a person continues to seek out experiences that are new, very different to them, they keep their minds sharp, functioning well.

Here's another aspect of it.

Mind-Body connection.

When a person stays physically active, getting a minimum of 1 hour of heart pounding exercise EVERY day, it keeps the mind & body strong.

Yet, another aspect!

You wanted more, right? Admit it! HAH!

When a person keeps themselves thinking positive, finding reasons to laugh to smile, to feel the giggles of the soul, it makes the most impact of all.

When a discomfort arises, as they do, in life, find a way to get back to comfort. Sometimes, it's simply necessary to wait for the discomfort to pass. Similar to getting over a cold or waiting for the pain of a paper cut to cease.

In time, even grass will turn into milk.

Other ways to take care of the body which ultimately supports health in the mind is to get a minimum of 7 hours of sleep, every night.

Body needs rest to repair while sleeping.

Also, water, water, water, water. That's a big key.

People develop brain fog, tooth decay, constantly spit (EW! YUCK!) because they're dehydrated.

Lacking enough water.

The brain, by itself, uses approximately 3 tablespoons per hour to function at its best.

The process of moving on through time can be a fun ride when exercising, eating healthy, refraining mostly from tobacco - pharma - negativity, getting enough sleep, drinking mostly water.

Becoming "old"?

Define "old".

Carefully. LOL!

Define "old", not as the world defines old. The view of advanced age which is so skewed by the media, is false.

My darling, youngest daughter, tried to tell me that getting old is inevitable. Well, she tried. Ha Ha!

I know better.

When divorcing the ex huzz, it felt like I had been sprung from a prison, like I had hit a reset button on life. A new lease, if you will. It felt as if I began the process of growing younger, feeling younger every day. 

I began to put BACK into practise those actions which I, naturally knew to be healthy, which he had stripped me of, slowly as my spirit was trampled upon. Devalued, disrespected, crushed.

I began to eat much more healthy. Also, something else that even surprised me became interesting.

Prior to that, I had never set foot in a gym.

*SURPRISE!*

Beginning the journey back to health, strength, slimness, happiness, turning back to who I really am.

As my body became more and more lean, I became happier, gained my curiosity about life back. Gaining back, all that I feared was lost to me, forever.

Oh, the insomnia was more pronounced, yet, after nearly 10 years, I have even begun to conquer it!

Yoga & Pilates have played a role in my return to well rounded health.

People who don't know me think I am around 35. Sometimes 45.

My age is none of anyone's business.

Only when people are being rude, do they ask.

When someone asks another person, who they barely know, their age?

It tells me a lot about them.

They have given into the media duping.

Poor, rude, little sheeple.

I will move on through time, with an intact burning curiosity. Continuing to become more lean, stronger, drinking enough water, getting enough sleep, thinking positive, showing love & compassion for those who need it.

Peace out!

Doing the right thing...*sigh*

It's sometimes more of a challenge to do the right thing, sometimes less of a challenge.

Sometimes being a bit naughty is called for.

Just sometimes!

Mostly, I do the right thing. It generally feels better, leaves me with fewer regrets, gives me more self confidence, a better feeling.

Basically, my character is the same as it has always been.

My beloved grandfather taught me very well. In the past there were more opportunities to choose the wrong thing. Maybe because I lived in a Liberal state, in a larger, more populated area. For the most part, I did the right thing when faced with the many dilemnas. The poor choices I made, taught a very valuable lesson I will use every day!

Sorry, if you were ready for a long diatribe. It may or may not happen, this time. *smile*

I moved to Texas in May 2012 for various reasons. It was a nice change, a good decision for my life.

Life was definitely different. It was also very lonely, very isolating as I healed, grew, evolved!

In early 2013, a temptation presented itself that I'm very happy I passed up. It would have been a disaster, plus, it would have been wrong on so many levels.

A 20 yr old friend of a relative found me online. He began messaging me. His age had nothing at all to do with my reluctance. The emotional pain it would cause my relative, finding out, was enough to stop me.,, 

DAM!

He was only in Texas for about 6 months, wanted to spend some time with me. 

Wine me, dine me, 69 me. Yupp.

I resisted.

Online is a funny thing.

I'm single and though I'm not actively looking, occasionally, I do get a serious nibble. 

At the end of 2013, a guy I had dated briefly, in Colorado, messaged me. He was ready for a change and told me that he had "come into" a large amount of money. He had become tired of the way so many girls were so fake, so promiscuous. He asked me if I would like to have him move to Texas so we could "take up where we left off".

Umm, nope. If it didn't work the first time, it most likely would not work the second time. 

Crises averted. :)

In early 2014, I was just leaving work, it was raining hard. A guy who had just been to the bank to withdraw what looked like  a WAD of $100s. was running to his car. As he stuffed the wad in his back pocket, one of the $100s slipped out and was getting soaked by the rain.

Everyone can stand to get an extra $100. Even me.

I grabbed it and was running after him, yelling. The rain was loud, wet, cold.

I slipped & fell on the wet pavement, the owner of the money was in his truck with the door closed. He was starting his truck, preparing to leave. The thought DID go through my mind to keep the money.

I couldn't do it!

He had rolled back out of the place where his truck was parked.

I ran up, knocked on the window, he put a pistol up to the glass! Kinda funny, actually!

He lowered the window.

I told him he had dropped the money and handed the soggy $100. to him. He took it, with a smile of gratitude, thanked me.

Ya know, I gave up $100., I felt like 10 million!

It was the right thing to do.

There have been other opportunities, it makes me feel happy to say, I made correct decisions.

Do some good in the world.

Feel the happiness from it!

Laters.

:)

What did you expect?

Today has been a day full of surprises.

A good workout this morning when I didn't think I would have the energy for it! That's always good!

The OSB singles were helping celebrate a birthday, so, we went to a steak house instead of Pizza Hut.

Surprise!

I left early. Stress & anxiety are striking at odd times. I was feeling a bit claustrophobic.

Arriving home, the stress was mounting in my home where it's all in pieces. I felt anxious, even a bit of a panic attack coming on. Elevated heart rate, deep fear, jumpy in reaction to every little noise. 

Usually, my youngest daughter and I speak on the phone every Sunday. I texted her, letting her know I had to get out, go back to the gym to relieve some anxiety. Moving may be necessary, not fun.

I rarely talk on my cell. Yes, I have a landline for that. On the way to the gym, my daughter called me on my cell. For her? I will answer, just have to be mindful of my surroundings, who is listening!

It was nice, she has a place in my heart, all hers!

My awesome Landlord needed to show the house to someone. EEEEEEEKKKKK! 

He needed to, I understand that. He's courteous.

Arriving home from the gym, the "For Rent" sign was gone from the yard, so, it's official!

I was feeling a bit MORE anxiety. Brilliant.

Texted a GF, she came over a bit later, put some of my fear to rest. She let me know she would help me get the rest of the "stuff" out of here to the other house.

Right after she left, my landline rang. I vaguely remembered the phone number on caller ID. Doing something out of the norm for me, I answered it!

The voice of the caller was vaguely familiar. A guy I had not heard from in a little over 3 years. He's a cool guy, not a friend, more like an acquaintance. 

We began talking, catching up as I packed boxes.

Then, a pause.

He told me of a girl he had just broken up with. They had met, then began dating at the time I stopped hearing from him. Such a shock. *_*

It seemed that he needed to talk. I listened.

They met, had a lot in common, had some great times together, met each others families. Families liked them and liked each other. Things were great. She was great. Beautiful, smart, funny, educated, financially responsible, great career!

Everything he was, everything he wanted in a girl. Yes, everything he wanted in a future wife.

He wanted kids, eventually, so did she, not right now, yet, eventually. Sounds good.

So what was the problem?

He had been burned badly before, yet, not by her.

She had been burned badly, too, yet, not by him.

They were both in their mid 30s. At that point, in life, if you haven't been burned at least once, you are indeed fortunate, my friend!

So, what was the problem.

The problem, according to him is that he loved her, was in love with her, she was great, he simply became "scared".

I call BS on this, I don't accept this childish excuse. If a guy doesn't know if he wants to put a ring on her finger after 3 years, he needs to stop wasting her precious time 

AND

her precious eggs.

He went on and on about how she loves him, was in love with him, treated him with respect, courtesy, bla bla bla. 

He stated how much he loved so much about her.

She let him know that she wanted something more committed, more permanent.

He let her know he couldn't marry her. Not sure when, if ever.

O boy.

She didn't cry, didn't make a scene. She simply said, thank you for letting me know, stood up from the table where they had been having dinner, as if getting up from a job interview.

That was almost it.

He went for a walk after that. When he got home (they lived apart) there was a box on his door step with all of his things, every gift he had ever given her.

That was it.

He was quite upset.

I asked him, "What did you expect her to do?"

Him: I don't know, cry, scream, call me an a-hole.

Me: Do you mean, the drama guys say they hate?

Him: Yeahhhh. Maybe.

Me: Why?

Him: Because I love her, she loves me.

Me: That's a confusing way to say, "I love you."

Him I thought she would call me or text me once.

Me: WHY? You rejected her in the worst way.

Him: I didn't think she would accept it.

Me: WTH would make you think that?

She loved you, she gave you 3 years of her life. She had been badly hurt, then, your actions made her believe in love again, then, you tell her that you can't step up to the plate? 

Him: I want to buy a ring and propose to her.

Me: It better be a freaking awesome ring! A dozen of her favorite flower, chocolate, Enrique Iglesias crooning to her as you propose!

Him: I didn't think I would be single ever again.

Me: What did you expect from her, actually?

****************************************************************************

This scenario boggles my mind. Everything is really good, he loves her, she loves him, 3 years later he gets "scared". She accepts his rejection, then, dumps his stuff on his doorstep.

All of a sudden, he has overcome his fear.

I had to get stuff done, I wished him well.

This scenario plays out all over the world in different variations. 

When everything is so good, so right, 

OF COURSE she or he will want to make it permanent.

When a girl has been hurt badly a few times before, then the guy comes into her life. He tells her he is falling in love with her, that he loves her, he is triggering emotions in her that are very powerful.

I am speaking from a female pov since I'm a girl. Also speaking from experience. Ex huzz was deeply selfish, everything HAD to be about him or he would pout, freezing me out for 2 days to 2 weeks at a time, sleeping on the sofa or with one of our children. The lies, the married males messing around on their wives, the would be players who I called out immediatly. 
Too much drama.

Playing with those feelings is dangerous.

Dangerous to both people.

It heightens the ante, the ante of emotions, emotional investment. It enters a spiritual realm.

It is my wish that the guys out there who get gain from playing with the emotions of girls would be more mindful of the damage they inflict.

Every time a girls heart is broken, she is less and less willing to trust any male in any situation. Then, something magical happens that many girls wish for.

She simply refuses to give a #2 what any male says, does, promises, it no longer matters.

She was taught by having her heart broken too many times that her heart is only safe without a guy in her life to play with it, hurt it, break it.

She's sexy as hell & doesn't give a rats rear.

What did you expect?