Second Chances

Do you give second chances to people or experiences which have turned out less than favorable in the past? 

Long question, big impact!

Have you given a second chance, only to have it blow up in your face, rear back to give you a second dose of damage?

Have you given a second chance to then, have it turn out to be so delightful that you're so happy you went to round two?

It's a slippery slope, my loves.

There are many adages against second chances. One of my faves:

"If the milk has gone sour, it won't become sweet if you put it back in the fridge, then take it out once again."

As an optimistic person, I DO believe in second chances. I have been both the giver as well as the recipient.

It's been a mixed bag.

Another fave adage:

"I give more chances to people than they probably deserve, yet, when I'm done, I'M DONE."

Tending to live by the second adage, yeah, I have had more than my fair share of emotional pain dealt to me. I get right back up, filled with fresh optimism. It may have hurt me, yet, I will still have my joy, my peace of mind.

Maybe less trustful, yet, still, happy, optimistic, a heart of gold.

In my life, in present day, I feel as if I have received a second chance at happiness, love, a good life.

Girls who are naturally slender have it a bit easier in life. Before my first pregnancy, I was one of those girls.

After 4 babies, my metabolism had slowed to a slight crawl, I was miserable in a marriage with a verbally/emotionally abusive male. I ate to escape the emotional pain.

Hitting the gym was dead last on my to-do list.

You've heard my story before, so, avoiding redundancy.

I started out in slender, physical fitness then, slowly morphed into morbid obesity. It happened so slowly, I hardly noticed it.

As a gym goddess, I have come almost full circle. Time spent as I studied, asked questions of PTs or anyone who could offer me helpful information. Taking that knowledge and studying some more to figure out how to apply healthy life practices to my own individual physiology. 

The journey to get back into the athletic condition I was in at 20 years of age has been a long one. It's been filled with pain, sweat, numerous hours at the gym. Changing up my workouts to keep the Brenda bod guessing!

The day I was at the Peterson AFB Fitness Center, when I began a Yoga practice, changed my life.

Yoga looks easy, effortless. It requires more effort than it seems.

Pilates? ditto.

The second chance I have received to re-invent myself only to re-invent myself over and over again. Changing music preference, clothing styles, locations, ways of thinking, ways of doing things. They all feel like a second chance.

A reset button, if you will. The same feeling of fresh awareness that I had, when leaving my parents home at the age of 18 to begin serving in the USAF.

Maybe it's useless to wish that I had the same knowledge back then as I do now. 

I still wish it, though. Yes, I would have done many things differently.

Less naivety, more awareness of opportunities available to me, more courage to take the roads I was afraid to take. More courage to lash out at those who assaulted me during my time in the USAF. I felt so vulnerable, so alone. 

The person I am now?

I would have screamed like a banshee! Maybe it would have made a difference, maybe not, I was too scared to fight my attackers.

So, in present day, I feel like I have a second chance with my newly developing muscle, BMI dropping lower, weight dropping lower. The lowest it has been in a long long time!

No surgery, no pills involved.

Lots of time & sweat!

Lots of self discipline.

Yes, I have given second chances to people. Sometimes it was a sweet surprise, with very happy results. Sometimes it was a truckload of pain. 'Nuff said!

I still believe in the goodness of people.

Follow my heart with brain engaged, now. Trust & verify.

A mature mind, with a child like attitude of simplicity, wonder, joy.

I still believe in love, in happily ever after, in magical things happening in my life. The difference a day can make is real!

What will life hold for me?

Stay tuned!

Aloha!