Manlove

This was given to me a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away. Being a hoarder is the opposite of my style, I keep that which is precious to me.
I don't know where he is, now, I still have his poem.

*****************************************************
What is a wife?

She's sunshine and laughter, she's moonlight and roses
The lilt in the love songs a writer composes

A hopeless romantic and realist in one
Who knows that her husband is second to none

A starry eyed girl with her dolls packed away
And her heart in the home that she's making today

A woman who capably works out a plan
With feminine "logic" that mystifies man

She's sweetheart, companion and weaver of dreams,
A lovable creature who always, it seems

Is delighted by babies, depressed by the rain,
Devoted to fads she, herself, can't explain

A darling, who though she may puzzle and tease you
Asks no more of life than to pamper and please you

And the chance when you're tired or lonesome or blue
To set your whole world right with the words....

                                                   "I love you."

******************************************************

An awakened man goes to the kitchen to make his own sandwich.:)

Truly Positive

It's so prevalent that it's everywhere! So many happiness Guru's purport to teach people to be happier, more successful by being more positive.

Think positive, act positive, speak positive, avoid RBF! 😁

It can even be found in the Holy Bible (for those of you who base your lives on the teachings in the Bible).
Proverbs 23 verse 7

There are more, that is the first verse which first came to my mind, a verse I repeat in my mind throughout the day when the day is difficult.
Repeating this, keeps my mind focused on the positive.
A person can use any mantra, this is one that works for me.

Choose your kumbaya song.

This one simple tweak can make such a difference. 

More?

Speak to yourself in your mind the same way you would speak to someone you dearly love. 
Would you tell a loved one they are ugly?
Stupid?
Lazy?
Inadequate?
Fat?
Too skinny?
A failure?
Clumsy?


The list can go on and on. Although focusing on the positive has become very much a part of who I am, sometimes, I slip. Catching myself, the adjustment is swift to go back to happy-joy-joy! 

If you wish to improve or are new to positive thinking, here is a starting place or additional information for the pro's out there.

Avoid these as much as possible:

Don't
Won't
Can't
Not
No

For example ~ 

Not one thing is going right today!
becomes
I'm going to just breathe, this will pass.

Don't speak to me that way.
becomes
Thank you for sharing.
(This often deflates anger in both people)

What are your negative thoughts? How can you turn the negative dialogue in your head into positive statements while still being truthful?
How can you speak to yourself in your head the same way you would speak to someone whom you love? How would you speak to them to give loving encouragement?
Speak to yourself kindly, inside your mind where the only one who can hear it is you.

Treat yourself kindly.

You're worth it.

Peace

Sucking it up!

Sometimes, ya just have to DO IT!

In confession, I have really fallen down in a few ways. One of these "ways" is to let my home become disorganized, cluttered, messy. It started with just a few dishes in the sink, then, it GREW! Like a weed that is allowed to grow in a garden, it began taking over.
Having allowed depression, anxiety & laziness to collide. Depression & anxiety combined is a terrible, debilitating force.

PEEPS!
It's really ugly!
Having worked my way into this mess (yeah, it's a mess!) I have to work myself out!
Having made appointments with professionals to show up to be paid, they don't show up.
There's no help for me, just have to help myself. 
My home can be beautiful, yet, if I put off getting it back to where it should be, it will only get worse. Mm Hm. It only rolls downhill!

When I was in BMT, my TI figured out that I do best when I make lists. Then, cross off the items or activities as I complete whatever it is. I kept a pretty clean home when I had 5 other people to pick up after. Those 5 people are now on their own. 
YAY! 
It's time for me to dig myself out & then, keep it up!

Being more than a little ashamed of how bad my home has become, I won't dare post "before" photos.

Strategy plan:

Accomplish 5 cleaning/organizing tasks per day. 
(More if possible!)

When it looks good enough to post photos ~ no promises ~ I might.
Maybe.

Stay tuned!

Sharing the LOVE!

I can hear the groans of disgust all over the world or at least from the ones reading this.

***WAIT***

Don't go, not yet!

The personal view is that, it can be about more of the population than the female sector. More about love than it is about lovers, gf's, bf's, husbands, wives ~ l'amor!

Valentines Day can be more about ~ "What can I give?"
Less about ~ "Me - Me - Me! What can I get?"

It can also be less about ooshy gooshy romantic love which sickens those who have a Alentines Ay (those who won't get the "V" or the "D")

Well! What CAN it be about? It can be about spreading love & happiness-provoking small gifts throughout the day as I go through the machinations of that particular day.

In the past, I didn't have enough disposable income to do this. Money was so tight, I wondered when I could eat the next time.

Times are better, now.

Something I love to do, to spread love throughout the day, is to buy a dozen or 2 of pink roses & a roll of curling ribbon. I will tie a length of curling ribbon on each individual rose, then pass them out, one by one, through out the day. The recipients might be someone I know or someone I don't!

Let me tell ya...….the happy looks, the surprised looks, sometimes tears welling up are such happiness producing sights for my eyes.
Valentines Day can be less me-me-me, more about spreading love!

Doing this on Valentines Day can have a more profound effect. Although, it can be done any day of the year to do it "just because" or to celebrate any occasion.

If you do this, you will truly feel the joy of spreading kindness.

Now, you can go, if you wish, or linger awhile to read past blog entries, if you wish to do so. 

Today

Here am I on a winter afternoon
The lengthening days
Whisper that it will be Spring soon
Candles are lit on the table around me
So that a pleasant scent
Like the seaside aromas surround me
It's so romantic to write by candle light
With a glass of cold lemon water
As the sun sets though it's not yet night
Times like these are indulgent surely 
To warm the bed beforehand
Then retire to such warmth very early
With a good book as a friend most sublime
Or a trashy naughty novel
Perchance to slip into sweet dreams for a time
For the world is such a busy place 
My naughty tales of fancy
Let me start the next day with a smile on my face

Also ~ this music! Enjoy 

https://youtu.be/8fJy_j0h8oU

Got RLTW ?

Some very principled leaders have tried to at least stem the rape culture in the military. This is a culture of condoned heavy drinking, the culture of violence that causes a stain on the worldview of the military males in the US Military. 

This is so appalling.

Even more appalling?

These designs that are printed, sold, displayed to many of the very people who are defending the USA.

Take a look.

For $27.95 this Tradition statement can be yours!

I think I preferred "Make Love Not War" to this promotion of adolescent like proclamation which trivializes many of the plagues on society in today's world. A world where sex is just "for fun", it's great to be an alcoholic and believe it or not ~ Smoking, chewing & dip are still looked upon as being cool. The developing cancer cells think it's "cool", too, it gives them life.

A child who is drowned in a toilet immediately after being born or abandoned or abused is often the product of "just having fun". When a military man is out there, "just having fun", having no concern for the impact of his actions upon the girl he's "having fun" with, nor the impact of the unknown developing fetus, it's more serious than "just having fun".

It's often a death sentence for one of the 3 people involved.

I posted something similar to this commentary on the self proclaimed "Run, Gun, Drink, Fight, FUCK". FUCK is in capital letters. I posted it on social media. 

The backlash was SWIFT (in capital letters). 2 guys who have daughters, were quick to defend this motto as just being "Part of the culture." Wait, WHAT?

Oh, they can defend it all day, all night, after all, it doesn't affect them, or, does it?

If their daughters, sisters, mothers, girlfriends, wives or any female relative or loved one were raped or taken advantage of by a guy who decides to FUCK their loved one?

They would realize the harm that this motto causes.

After all, if it was some other guy's female family member or loved one, not theirs, they would not feel the pain nor see the damage that is caused by FUCKING randomly, "just for fun."

I can guarantee, that when the Okinawan as well as Korean as well as Japanese school girls, under the age of 14, were the recipients of this adage, they were NOT having fun.

Most likely, the below photo is what these underage girls envisioned.

They most likely envisioned the smiling American hero. The rescuer, the good guy who ACTUALLY lives by the Ranger Creed, not just giving it occasional lip service. It DOES SAY that a Ranger vows to keep himself "Morally Straight". 

Many people may wonder or outright ask why I'm so impassioned about this. Being impassioned doesn't fully cover it.

I have seen the aftermath of the damage done from those who live by the first 2 adages of the Ranger Tradition, in sharp contrast to the statement of Ranger Creed.

The only one having "fun" was the US Army Ranger until he was arrested & held accountable for his irresponsible actions in raping a child.

I have, personally been affected by the hard drinking, sexually immoral "Ranger Tradition" which is so proudly proclaimed.

Many times, I have personally spoken with girls who were not underage, yet, were similarly assaulted. They were too embarrassed, too ashamed to admit to what had happened. 

Of course, it was a lapse in judgement on the girl's part. Yet, her lapse in judgement does not excuse rape, sodomy, violence.

All of these are in direct contradiction of the often recited 

Ranger Creed.

I have an understanding of the power of testosterone. It's very life altering, judgement clouding effect is very difficult to manage.

I truly understand this.

When I lived in Colorado, I participated in a 6 month study on the effects of naturally occurring female testosterone. The study also computed the percentage of females with higher testosterone than is common.

Yupp.

It makes sense. I have always had a high energy level. This is not to be misconstrued, however, yes, a higher sex drive than is common.

Although my T-Levels are incomparable to that of a male, it does give me a better understanding of that which drives many males to do the things they do. Throughout the 6 month study, there were regular blood draws, urinalysis & detailed questionnaires. I was in the top 5 as having higher T-Levels than 95% of the other female participants in the study. 

DAM! I hate being stuck with medical needles! Ya better believe that I was adequately compensated for taking part in this study!

The beauty of testosterone is that it also drives our American Heroes to do that which is often necessary in the defense of the USA.

When testosterone is used for good purposes by our beloved Special Forces Operators, it's a beautiful, inspiring ideal.

However ~

It's a slippery slope, dang near impossible to have one without the other.

Near impossible, yet, it's still possible.

RLTW

What is your dream?

Have you asked someone the question, "What is your dream?"

Have you been asked the question, "What is your dream?"

I'm asking you, now. Take the right amount of time for you, to ask yourself, "What is my dream? What is the ultimate, best outcome in life for me to be deliriously happy?"
Maybe, as close to being deliriously happy as possible. If that is what your dream is, then, that's good, too!

I know what my dream of the ultimate happy life, for me, would be. I'm a happy person, mostly, so, it would be simple.

It is often said that if you tell someone your dream, it might not come true. Be that as it may be, or may be said, I'm adventurous!
It's part of my personality to take calculated risks. Also, I do one thing each day that scares me. 
Yep. I still do that!

Here I go! I will share the dream I have for the happiest life I can imagine for the rest of my life. 
I will speak it, speaking my truth. Speaking it into the air. I will speak my dream loud and proud believing I can make it come true.

People have asked me, "Is there a man in the picture?"
My answer: I'm only planning for that which is in my control.

I envision myself living in a 3 BD, 2 BA cottage close enough to a warm ocean that I could get some ocean time every day if I wanted to.
There's more!
The house could be in Florida or Hawai'i.
Still, more!
I would love to raise a BAMF Doberman from a puppy to adulthood, to be mine for as long as the dog lives.
There's more!
The house has to either be a horse property or have a stable close by that boards horses.

This is my dream!

I will speak of my dream life as often as possible, with excitement, with belief that I'm going to make it come true! 
If you wish to fulfill your dreams you must first wake up.

I'm awake! 

Stay tuned!

Kitty Cat & Compassion

Often, people tell me I would have been a really good doctor or nurse or cosmetic surgeon (Ask with caution - ha ha!) or counselor.

The truth is - 
(drumroll!)
The opportunity to go to college eluded me every time I tried.

In somewhat of a contradiction of this...….....people have also said I am a natural healer.

In truth, suffering disturbs me to my very soul!

When I see the suffering of any being, if it's within my capabilities to alleviate that suffering, whatever "it" is will be rectified immediately!
The solution may be financial, emotional, physical, spiritual.

When it's within my scope of control, a compelling desire arises within my spirit to do whatever I can, to alleviate that suffering.

Could it be that I have endured  much suffering & this is cathartic?

Possibly

A family whom I have gotten to know has a cat who is spayed (thus, a female). Originally, the cat was "adopted" as a kitten, a gift for the family's 8 year old girl. When the cat had been spayed, the family turned her out to survive on her own.

This is so very sad, to me, as one who loves animals of most types.

Many times I have sat on my front porch, luring the cat to me. I have wet, canned cat food. The feline was obviously hungry to take such a risk as to advance so near me for food.

It saddens this heart of mine.

The "sent away" cat is becoming increasingly feral.

Several times the cat was on my front porch. She was crying from hunger, being uncomfortably cold or both. Feeling compassion for the kitten who was taken in, then kicked out to fend for herself, makes for an understanding between us. She yowls a lot.
FYI ~ I only purr. tyvm.

As much as I would want to bring her into my home, my home life is complete as it is. When new acquaintances learn that I'm single & live alone, they try to "give" me a dog or a cat, even a guinea pig, once. These well meaning people feel that I need a pet to keep me company, most can't understand that I have my life the way I like it. 
Being self contained, content with my own company is a foreign concept to most people who would be unhappy flying solo as I do.

It took some serious self work to get to this point. Working on my own psyche, spirit, body is a process, one that most people either can't or won't take on.
This is how my life is, for now. It has been different in the past, it may change in the future or it may stay the same, maybe even a mixture of both.
For now, I'll do what I can to help "Ms. Kitty-cat". As long as it's plausible as well as possible, doing good in the world is a way of life that is quite enjoyable. 
💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟
In the immortal words of Ms. M ~ 

I am good, but not an angel
I do sin but I am not the devil
I am just a small girl in a big world
trying to find someone to love

💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟

Nuances & Such

It's the way he moves his lips when he's driving his car
The set the curve of his jaw in profile 
When he says " Look at you, how beautiful you are!"
Holding my gaze all the while

It's the spring in his step as he's walking toward me in stride
With a slight smile on his boyish face
It turns me into a quivering little girl on the inside
Like I could just melt standing in place

It's the connection we both have admitted we both can feel
Unlike anyone any other
It tells us that whatever this is we both know it's real
He's my friend, my lover 

I've never known anyone like him known him a thousand years
He's excitement he's quiet everything between
Makes me laugh so hard he can bring me to happy tears
Makes me more angry and forgiving than I've ever been

Oh what will I do with this magnificently sweet fool
What can I do with this incredible man
As our hearts engage in this sweetly romantic duel
He'll keep me enchanted as long as only he can

Coconut Hearted Girl in an All Haole World

The title of this blog entry is inspired by the lyrics to a song by a popular, even beloved entertainer in Hawai'i who I love to listen to!
Brother Noland.
It's a catchy tune with what is referred to in the islands as Jawai'ian.
Figga out, brah! Liddat!

https://youtu.be/bsRTsdS6AnE

Have you ever fantasized, studied, longed for something along with the feeling that it had low probability of coming true?

Have you ever had this fixation come true?

It's very fortunate that many of mine have actually happened for me!

As a child, my Grandfather and I would study the life of Queen Victoria of Great Britain, together. When the current National Geographic magazine in his subscription would arrive, he would peruse the magazine with longing. When there were articles  in it that he knew would thrill me, he would get his magazine out when I came to his home for a visit.

This was something enjoyable in these visits as ice cream usually came with it! I was a little girl. I mean, I really was physically small as compared to my peers. I was skinny, petite, full of energy, curiosity, imagination, along with a strong love for my grandpa!!!!

He would lift me onto his lap as he sat in his large chair, then point the fascinating photos out to me. The Victoria & Albert Museum in London, England. The beautiful tropical beaches of Hawai'i.

The only sadness in these visits was when Grandpa would say, "You might, someday, go there. I won't be able to, yet you could!"
I would look at his eyes, as tears were welling up in them, being unable to imagine my life without this wonderful man who taught so much to me.
His words were engraved on my psyche as well as my heart.

Many dreams were fueled by his teachings, so much wisdom.

I went on to do both! Hawai'i as well as the V & A in London. It felt bittersweet as these dreams of his lived on inside me. I felt his presence when I arrived in Hawai'i for my first military assignment.

Upon arriving in Honolulu, instantly, there was a feeling of being home. The people, the music, the weather, island foods. I felt more at home in Hawai'i than I had ever felt up to that point in my life!

Hanging out with locals, I picked up the dialect of the islands ~ Pidgin English! I learned to surf, learned to do macramé.
Most people know what macramé is, yet do they know Pidgin?
It's a whole different dialect, I love it!!!!

https://youtu.be/1StxXlMvA58
(free sample!)

Being fully aware that my blonde hair & green eyes might stereo type me, once I started talking in Pidgin? I was accepted!
Token haole! ha ha!

When the time came to leave Hawa'i to go on to my next assignment, I was a sad girl. At the new assignment I experienced culture shock, so depressed, missed Hawai'i so much.

Time moved me on, wait, NO! Uncle Sam did that!

Still, I carried the Aloha spirit in my heart.

Several years later, while living in Germany, I had the great opportunity to go to London, England for 4 days.

Mm Hm

Can you tell where this is going?

Keep tracking!

The Victoria & Albert Museum was easy enough to find.
I was in Heaven!
I spent the entire day, there! Grandpa would have loved it! One surprise was the connection between Queen Victoria with Hawai'ian Princess Lydia Kamaka'eha (Later, she became Queen Lili'uokalani). 
(You may be familiar with the song Queen Lili'uokalani wrote ~ Aloha Oe)
Queen Victoria invited the Hawai'ian Ali'i to her jubilee. King Kalakaua traveled to England with his wife and sister. He sent them to the Jubilee to represent Hawai'i.
At the ceremonies, Queen Victoria gave a bracelet which she had designed as well as specially made, to Lydia. The bracelet was the very distinctly crafted to Queen Victoria's specifications.

The style of that bracelet is still a very loved & popular form of jewelry known as Hawai'ian Heirloom Jewelry.
The design has flowers and symbols of Hawai'i sculpted in gold or silver with a personal name or sentiment pressed into it in the English script, then inlaid with black onyx.
An enduring symbol to unite England with Hawai'i.

This jewelry impressed Lydia so much that, when she and her party returned to Hawai'i, the style was reproduced several times. It was an honor bestowed on those who the Ali'i  wished to reward or express affection for. A great honor, indeed.

Seems a bit implausible, yet, it happened.

What are the odds?

The 2 things my Grandfather spoke of to me. 

Funny, funny ~ serendipity!

To this day, I always feel the pull from the islands, they call to me 
to return to them.
I go back for a visit, every few years, or when I can!

There's so much love in the islands, such sweet people. On my last trip to Hawai'i, with my friend, Anita, I JUST HAD to go to Bishop Museum!

While we were there, we engaged with a very interesting conversation with a very friendly guy, by the name of John, who works at Bishop Museum. He could tell that I just loved Hawai'i so much I had to keep coming back.

There was a light embrace from him as he said, 
"Welcome home!" several times.

Yes, indeed!.

Will you miss me?

There are some changes brewing as I write. 
A part of the circle of life. (just had to!) 

Google is making many changes, one of those changes might delete my blog. It is certain death for Google+

In the past 2 years, I have really enjoyed writing my experiences, highs lows, poetry. Originally, I began writing as an outlet for thoughts, ideas, observations. Expressing creativity with words.

Approximately 5 months after I started my blog, it was picked up by a company. It was far from my original intent, yet, I became a paid blogger. 
It became a tidy supplemental income ~ doing what I enjoy doing!

Does it get any better?

One aspect of life I know for sure, change will always be a constant aspect. Those who change with the times (within reason, of course) will flow like water, smoothly, in the river of life.
Those who resist change will be left behind.
When I say that those who resist change will be left behind, I know that it is all in moderation. People must allow or reject that which is right for them. 
Too extreme of a change too quickly will stress the psyche, cause some social isolation.

In my Yoga practice, the body moves slowly between poses, flowing like the wind the water the fine sugar sand.
Sometimes life moves fast, sometimes I slow it down with my Yoga practice. In the flowing movement, the mind is quietened from a roaring jumble like washed shoes in a dryer, noisy!
The pace is slowed as my heart rate quickens, resulting in a balance between mind - body - spirit.

This is the whole idea in Yoga ~ balance. 

When the Google demi-gods delete so much, so many pieces of the lives of so many, I hope my blog remains. 

Stay tuned!