How you handle it presents many interesting aspects about what it is that makes you who you are. Also, people can as well as do, change in many aspects.
Caveat ~ The individual has to want to change. This change can be externally motivated or internally motivated.
Externally ~ A break up, divorce, death of a loved one, serious personal illness, serious bodily injury, birth of a child. Yeah, you got it!
Internal motivation is a bit tricky. Another aspect is that internal change is less obvious to the outer world.
As in, it's kinda like pissing your pants.
Gives ya a warm feeling, yet, less appreciated by others. :D
Okay, so, I can be a bit sarcastic, bit of a smart-A!
It's part of my charm. :P
Some people love deeply, feel deeply, will roll with the hurts & annoyances doled out to them by loved ones, yet, when they have had enough, they are DONE.
That would be ~ moi!
In days gone by, being a sweeter, more loving, giving, caring, trusting person was the way to roll, for moi.
Present day?
Much less, so.
Dealing with PTSD, trust is a tough one for me. It was tough before, it's more so, now.
Some things that stay the same are to be a caring, loving person, yet, being more selective as to whom I give anything to. My time, care, resources, trust. Way more selective.
Since becoming single I have learned, as a single heterosexual girl, married males are rampant cheaters with no remorse about who they hurt.
Other women will use the ruse of being a good friend while soaking up another persons resources if the person allows it.
Predators, predators, everywhere. When a girl is single, living alone, with no family close by, there is the absence of the proverbial Lion at the Gate. She is more vulnerable.
Mr. Smith & Mr. Wesson as well as Mr. Taser can help. :o)
While bodily protection is great, it only protects the body while the heart can be left vulnerable unless steps are taken to protect this tender part as well.
From personal experience aka living life, there have been so many lessons learned, so many stages of growth.
I used to be a more vengeful person. When I was heavily wronged, deeply hurt by someone, I struck out.
My striking out was commensurate with the pain they dealt me.
The deeper the person hurt me, the more intensely I struck out at them. Wanting them to feel as much searing pain as they gave to me. Wanting them to feel the intensity of my grief.
It was wrong.
This, I have learned.
Evidence?
Do you want evidence?
Cool.
Recently, an individual had attempted to gain my trust, gain my respect, appear to be as a friend. Little telling signs were there, activating my "gut instinct".
Did I heed the warning?
NOPE!
So, yet another pain, another hurt along the way.
My first instinct?
STRIKE OUT! DEAL THE PAIN TO THEM.
No.
As weird as this may seem, I simply sat down, in my home, I envisioned the person sitting there with me, had a conversation, wished them blessing & prosperity then let them go.
In past experiences, it would deliver happy chills, satisfaction, a bit of delight as I exacted my ounce of flesh.
Present day, December 2017?
Wishing good things for the other is better.
Oh, it's a far cry from past practices where a girl who "man poached" was run out of town. A time when a girls brothers or other male family/associates would deliver a can o whoop ass to a guy who hurt, cheated on or led a girl on.
That probably DOES still happen.
If it happened as often, now, as it used to, something tells me that there would be a drop in people cheating on & abusing each other (male & female, peeps!).
Something I have learned is that even when, even if someone does something so harmful to another as to deserve retribution, is it really worth it? I have learned, that, for me personally, there's a better, more healthy, as in more healing route to take.
Fill in the cloud.
You are learning and growing so much!
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