L. B. N.

What does it stand for?

What does it mean?

What could it mean?

What do you think it means?

Yeah, you're Googling it, aren't you?

Go ahead, mates! I'll wait.

Whatever you do, remain neutral.

I'm very honest.

Honesty = Emotions. How a person feels. Ew! The feelios!

I'm as truthful as possible while preserving my privacy.

Truth = Facts. Todays date. Your legal marital status. Truth.

In todays social climate in social media, it's important to be truthful as well as honest.

Even when there are people who seem to care about you whom you have known of or thought you knew in real life or believed truly cared. They may have truly cared, yet, due to circumstances which rendered them vulnerable, they were raw to influences which were tender, soft to the hurts of the world as well as its people.

In this spirit I have learned.

OMG have I learned.

Handle them  most carefully, those who are dealing with that which is so difficult to deal with, already.

Be kind.

Be understanding.

Again. Be kind

This, I have gleaned.

Lest, you find you have found yourself eliminated from their affections in a social media sort of way.

I would hope it would happen seldom to me, yet, I also know of the difficulty expressed by *moi* which may have alienated interaction with moi. I was under so much pressure.

FYI ~ The pressure has lifted as pressure is often ups & downs!

Be careful with your words, peoples hearts can be tender.

In that vein.

I love you.

My "Room-Mate(s)"!

Funny event last night. Well, unusual at the least!

The last time I had a roomie was 3 years ago. Have had a few roomies. All guys. Yes, they were strictly roomies.

I'm uncertain as to whether this roomie is a guy or a girl.

Recently noticing that things had fallen  off my kitchen counter & bathroom vanity in the night. Sometimes when I was out of the house on a day trip, road trip or just outside the house for a full day, I noticed things had fallen onto the floor, left where they had fallen. A bit bothersome while manageable. Small annoyance.

Having only seen roomie once in a fleeting moment, it's rather odd!

My proverbial roomie is a rodent! If it's a mousie, it's a Texas size mousie!

Last night, I set a rat size glue trap out, just in case the mousie has been working out as much as I do.

Ya know, birds of a feather -n- all that!

Placing a dime sized mini dollop of peanut butter in the center, I placed the glue trap under the kitchen counter.

Around 0300, I heard it!

"flap-flap-flap"

pause

"flap-flap-flap"

Then, so on.

Went back to sleep, figuring, I'd tend to mousie in the morning. This morning, heading toward the center of the kitchen. I saw little spots of peanut butter in a trail toward the back door of the house. The trap? 

GONE!

The mousie had taken it along. Maybe to go sledding? Maybe to brag to friends?

"HAH! I AM the one that got away!"

"Guess who I am? I'm da MOUSE!"

Time to get a more clever mouse trap for a more clever mouse!

Tonight?

We shall see!

Stay tuned. *smile*

Ah-may-ZINGGG!

Great things are happening right now! As for me? They are!

I'll start with the most current event.

A bit of history:
My mother with held my birth stats from me. No one else seemed to know or maybe they didn't want to anger her by giving the information to me. When I asked her, several times throughout my life, the response was similar:
"It's none of your dam business!"

Umm, thanks, Mom.

Why is it so important? 
Well, just because it IS important to me.

Mom died in 1996. That's a story within itself.

After several years of trying different methods to find the information, today, I have it! The Vital Stats phone would ring several times, with no live person answering it. I may have simply been calling at the wrong times.

Today? I spoke with a live person! O yeah, I was jazzed!

Speaking with a very kind woman at Vital Stats in West Virginia (where I was born), she searched & found the information I have hungered for, wondered about for most of my life!
As I worked to contain my composure, I felt jolts of excited energy shoot through me as I wrote the information down.

Now, I have it!

Knowing where I come from, who my ancestors are, has always been important to me. It tells me a lot about who I am.
Even having my DNA analysis was a thrill!
It explains a lot to me.
Why my eyes are such a light green while my siblings eyes are darker.
Why my hair is strawberry blond. As hard as I try, the red always comes through! Mom had bright red curly hair.
My intuition, spiritually sensitive nature.
Interest in.....well......everything! I'm curious about everything!

Something that I found to be very interesting is that I'm 55% Native American. It makes me wonder, if my siblings who are still living, had their DNA tested, how much NA blood do they have?
The rest is mostly Scottish, Irish & German with English heritage in the smallest amount.

Interesting, yes?

I think so.

The thrill of the week, maybe even the month or year, is, learning my birth stats. 
It was less of a surprise that my birth weight was 6 lbs 12 oz. Still, I was pleased to have accurate information.
Mom was a heavy smoker, which was what ended up killing her at a relatively young age.

I will feel the glow of this wonderful happening, for awhile!

PT Update!

Yes, I'm still feeling a little sick, in a poor way, better than yesterday, probably better tomorrow!

As I had hoped, the highly skilled PT that I started working with on Monday (1-8) is helping me kill it or is killing me!

I had nearly nothing more in me for TRX afterward!

Still, I attempted TRX, so disappointed in myself that I couldn't finish the class. *sigh*

I started, Monday, with a warmup on the tread. wimpy - wimpy.

PT found me, good to go!

We started with kettle-bell squats. Then, burpees, then side to side lunges. Then froggies.

You probably get the gist of it.

At one point, PT said, 
"Yeah, your legs are gonna be hating you tomorrow!" 
She didn't mention that it would go on for the rest of the week! I'm STILL walking funny. 

LOVE IT!
WANT SOME MORE OF IT!

I decided, as 2017 was almost over, to clean up my eating habits even more. Drink more water & less liquid grapes. :D
If I'm going to improve, changes have to be made.

This morning, while getting ready for the day, I noticed a new muscle was showing on my quads or quadriceps.
Whole lotta pain, new muscles, cool beanies!

Friday 1- 12 is my second sesh. Yay. 

More pain & hopefully more gain!

Song for my son

The baby in my arms

Was not given, only lent

This sleepy little cherub

By Heaven was sent

The baby in my arms

So innocent so fair

Whose tender young spirit

Is entrusted to my care

Oh, help me to be worthy

To protect from worldly harms

Giving loving guidance to

The baby in my arms

Set Free!

Feeling better tyvm.  😁

Better feel better!

Tomorrow (1-8-2018) is my first of 15 sessions with an awesome PT who knows how to get it done.

Staying on track with fitness goals has been tough, yet, I'm doing it. 

Having progressed this far, it's always good to call in a heavy hitter aka a kickass Personal Trainer to shake it up!

I have heard the kvetching ~ 

A PT is too expensive

PT's are so intimidating

I can do it on my own

There's no time for me to work out

People who have time to binge watch their shows & fliks, have the money for the newest iPhone ~ they have the time plus the cheddar.

Time must be made or fought for, for "you" time to work out. Working out, hiring a PT, investing in these, are investments in your future health.

Yeah, yeah, I get it, fitness is something that many people fail to find the enjoyment in. Yet, there are many of us who enjoy fitness.

I enjoy the burn, the sweat, the feeling of a tight, strong body! Far from being as tight & strong as I will be, I look forward to improvement.

Being the work in progress that I am, knowing that this PT has such a base of knowledge, I say ~

BRING IT!

(I'll be hurting after tomorrow! :)

Captured!

Meh.

It's chased me for awhile, finally got me last Friday!

December 30th 2017? Ah think?

Laying in bed, shivering, sweating, coughing, drifting in & out of  consciousness made me lose track of time.

Mmm Hmm.
You know what I'm talkin!

The ever popular, most beloved flu virus.

yay.

No, I have never gotten a flu vaccination. Most likely won't. I'm a bit of a wuss when it comes to needles or any medical practice that is NOT holistic, natural, etc.

So, though I'm only functioning at about 60%, I'm still up & doing things.
A fun day trip with my BFF Texas ~ Anita ~ yesterday, got me up & about, yet, knocked me on my butt, just a little.
Are you glad, SOMETHING can knock me back a little?

It takes a lot.

I'm going easier on my workouts, lots of water, doing fresh lemon shots. Hot steam baths.
I'll get back to 100%

For now, taking it a little easy, having not had the flu in forever, it was bound to catch up with me, let my sweet bed capture me & hold me as prisoner, eventually.

Not for long.  :)

Just, for now!

Stay tuned!

What if.....

What if you never knew
Your age
Your weight
Your IQ
Your race
Your ethnicity

Who would you be?

What if you were always told
You are worthy of love
You are intelligent
You are kind 
(Channel a popular movie, while you're at it!)

My ever so eloquent father had an answer to the "What if"

"What if pigs flew outta my rear end?"

Umm, we would have pork for dinner.....often??

There's so much commotion, lately, about looks, size, race, religion, etc. I could go on and on!

When seen through the developed mind with a kinder perspective, the aspects of a fellow human which are supposed to matter, will matter.

Intelligence
Integrity
Kindness
Trustworthiness
Courage
Fidelity
Compassion
A sense of humor
Courtesy

What if the people of the world today
Began to realize that the words they say
Have power to create peace in another soul
Power to create a dream of world peace goal
It begins with intentions for future plans
Actions wrought with our own hands
For words thought or spoken in the heart
Are unlimited in an eternal power to start
They evolve into the actions which come to be
Yes they will echo through all eternity
Actions which are put into motion
Can affect our world from ocean to ocean
When you intend next to do something kind
Remember how the world will be touched by your kindness.

Connections

She's so much delight to be with
We have history going back quite far
We two know what a Cheshire Cat Moon is
Also what "provisions" are!

I knew her name for many moons
Before anyone on this earth
Felt her warrior spirit
Long before her birth

She has kindness in her heart 
With equal parts of mischief too
Her charm shines in brown eyes
Never know what she'll do

Now, she is a wife and a mother
With a sweet family just begun
Now, with children of her own
Now, with her, my work is done

Observations

Do you see red?

Keep reading, you might! :)
People watching has been a casual activity for me for awhile. 

Seeing people interact as well as how people react to a bunch of different situations can be hella entertaining! Then, there's the other type of people watching. 
A bit less entertaining.

It's fun to go to a shopping mall or any very public location & seeing how people move, speak, react, shop, etc. Seeing people from a distance is more like ~ 
"People Watching Lite". 
Seeing people in a more personal setting is ~
"People Watching Regular."

When 2 people meet, date, grow fond of each other, it's all about discovery, feeling giddy.
After the relationship deepens into commitment & marriage, the real work begins to merge 2 lives as one.
In present day, there are many things I realize about my own past marriage. (Am divorced, now, thankfully!)
Having lived it & able to recognize it, NOW, there are aspects I realize.
Have you ever seen a relationship where the spending of one person was out of control much to the anger of the other person?

There's more than a little materialism going on. 
There's an imbalance.
One to three things could be going on.

1. One person is exercising too much control over the other.
(Even trying to exercise control is abusive. aka the dreaded person with control issues)

2. One person is wrongfully with-holding from the other.
(Could be sex or money, or affection or emotional support or some other form of with-holding .)

3. One person is flat out abusive toward the other.

When one person is mistreating the other in any of these ways, it creates an imbalance in the relationship. The other person tries to make up for the void or soothe the pain by acting out.

In the single digits person, this is easily recognized. In people over the age of 12 years, it becomes more tricky to ID.
In an autonomous adult (a person 18 years of age & ^ who is completely self supporting with no help from ma-ma & da-da), it is even more tricky.
The autonomous person has learned how to disguise being abused & abusing or simply, how to escape consequences. 

A person who is being abused or abusing only THINKS they have fooled Jon or Jen Q. Public. It's obvious to everyone.

Have you ever aired up a long skinny balloon, then squeezed one end only to see the air enlarge the other end? This is how obvious an imbalanced relationship is. 
The air is present. 
When acted upon, it's forced by the principle of physics to go SOMEWHERE!

In abusive relationships, the abuse announces itself in ~

Over spending
Over eating
Reckless behavior
Frequent illness
An untidy home
An untidy car
Sleeping a lot
Illicit or excessive use of drugs and/or alcohol

One or a multitude of these can announce itself in an ongoing way or episodically. 

Cause & effect.

In my case?
Ex huzz would heavily criticize me after I had worked to prep a family meal or had finished hand sewing clothing for our children. He would find SOMETHING inadequate with everything I did. Dam! That hurt.
Time to hit the gallon bucket of chocolate ice cream!
Hyper control, hyper-criticism, emotional abuse.
More ice cream!
Fighting back only created more criticism, bigger fights. 
Then?
I hit the check book.
Oh, yeah.
There are many very valid reasons why he's an ex huzz.

In present day? I have gym time!
(no need for ice cream binges, anymore!)

When things get tough, this tough girl hits the gym! 

Having lived through it, I can now, ID, when there is an imbalanced or abusive situation in a relationship.
Most often, I can observe, yet, it's out of my hands to act on it.

If there is something illegal going on I can go for that baddy!!! Unfortunately, it's more often what is going on is unhealthy, causing discomfort and/or pain.
Not illegal, yet, it should be, with the damage it causes.

As for me & my house, we will be like Switzerland.

L8erz!