Monday, May 28, 2018

Wound up Tight! :)






Actually.......it was fun to push your buttons.
Why?
Because, you're so entertaining in how you always reacted.
Mostly predictable.
Sometimes, a bit unpredictable. That was the fun, for me, anyway. 

After awhile, it was less fun, it was more pain for you, so, I apologize for causing your pain, causing your suffering. After awhile, with me pushing your buttons, you were reacting, it became the dance we did which was most of our relationship. 
Now, our relationship is just obligatory interaction because of kids, property, money, taxes.
UGH.
Someday, when the kids are fully grown, the property & taxes are settled, there will be barely a remnant of what was "us".
You moved on so fast, it looks like I have moved on when, in truth, I'm still hurting. 
I'm even slightly bitter.
I joke, I laugh, I drink, masturbate, go out with friends. I do my job as I always have. I, even started taking college courses. I'll be retirement age, soon, have to have another career lined up. Still have bills to pay, obligations to fulfill.
Someday I might meet someone.

Human beings only do something if they are getting something from it. 
Something.
Feeling, food, money, sex, gratification, prestige, awards. 
Much more.
When someone pushes your buttons?

Give them "mute". 

No pay off.

All is cope-aesthetic.

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